“What game would you rather play? Seven minutes in heaven? Spin the bottle? There is so much mistletoe around here that I’m pretty sure I can rustle something up.”
I laughed despite myself. “We can talk about how hot he is, but that’s it.”
“Anya…?”
“Mu-um…?”
“Those rumours I heard about Nico? They true after all?”
I huffed and shoved her arm off me. “No. I can promise you there are no crushes, serious or fantasy.”
Mum sighed. “All right then.” She kissed my cheek and it was impossible to stay even pretending to be mad at her.
We all did presents and breakfast and had a relatively lazy day until it was time to get ready for the Christmas State dinner. And this time I was ready for all the General Arnells and Amanda Schullers of the world.
But I hadn’t needed to be since I was left wonderfully to my own devices in a corner with a glass of wine and I spent my time people watching while Dad, Mum, Lia and the royal family did the rounds.
Mum was quite clearly the Penrose lady – who was neither a Penrose nor a lady – who was missing from this life. I watched her schmooze every single dignitary. She even got a lessening of the scowl from General Arnell.
I sighed. “Why doesn’t she just come and be the lady for me?”
“Because,” came a voice beside me that made me jump, “some of us have slightly more freedom in their choice of obligation.”
I looked at Dmitri and nodded. “You mean I can’t choose my father but she can choose her husband?”
“The very same.”
“You think she chose not to love him enough as well then?” I asked him.
He watched my mother for a moment longer. “I do not think it is a matter of enough. We cannot choose who we love any more than we can choose our parents. It seems to me it is less a matter of your parents did not love each other enough to endure the…difficulties they thought they might face. But rather that they loved the other so much they wanted to spare them the difficulties they would have happily lived with.”
I was stunned quite frankly that something like that could come out of his mouth. “Uh huh. How much of that do you believe? And how much of that is the company line you tell young women so they don’t get attached?”
Dmitri looked at me as he took a sip of his drink. “It is not difficult for me to imagine caring so much for a person that you put your own needs and…desires second in favour of theirs.”
I ignored the way he said ‘desires’ affected me. “Are we talking about a country or a person now?”
That humoured spark lit his eyes. “Ja, it could be either. However, this time we speak of a person.”
“A particular or hypothetical person?”
He paused for just long enough that I was convinced it was a particular person, despite him saying, “Hypothetical, of course.”
I felt my stomach drop, but nodded. “Of course. Although if you’re too chivalrous you may find yourself with no fiancée to announce.”
“Unless of course that is the plan.”
“What?”
He flashed me the quickest grin I’d ever seen, then his face was back to that neutral again. “I do not imagine it has escaped your notice that I seem…”
“Hesitant,” I offered, thinking I knew where this was going.
“Ja. Hesitant to announce my engagement.”
“I have certainly seen a definite lack of anyone to propose to going by the usual routes.”
“The usual routes being courtship and dating?”
I nodded. “Among other things.”
His eyebrow rose slightly and he paused in lifting his glass to his mouth. “Other things?”
I didn’t look down quite fast enough to hide my smile. “I’m sure you’re quite well-versed in them, even if it is only theoretical.”
He leant towards me and whispered, “Unless my tutelage wet horribly wrong somewhere and I have completely misunderstood the concept, I am well-versed in the practical component as well as the theoretical.”
I laughed under my breath as I fought my smile. “Good to know.”
“Not that I can think of a time it might be helpful for you to know,” he said as though he could entirely think of a time and that made me think of a definite time.
“Well I guess you never know when a little information could go a long way.” I turned to look at him quickly, just realising how that might have sounded. “Shit. Not that I meant I’d go telling anyone. It was supposed to be a low-key…joke,” Sure, it was, “about if you and I ever…” I cleared my throat and took a huge gulp of my drink before finishing with, “As it were.”
I felt rather than heard him chuckle. “I understood your meaning. At least I hoped that was what you meant.”
I was saved from my unfortunate tendency to blurt things out when someone called, “Your highness?” and, judging by Dmitri’s expression, they were after him.
He gave me a soft smile, one that was barely there but all the more gorgeous because of it, licked his lip quickly, shook his head, and said, “Excuse me, my lady.”
I curtsied. “Your highness.”
He gave me one more look as he walked away and I was no longer sure I was glad I hadn’t had the chance to ask him if he’d hoped what I meant literally or hypothetically.
But I did think I was glad that I wasn’t given the opportunity to speak to him through the rest of the mingling part because I might then have asked him and, not withstanding that the time lapse may have made me look terribly sad and obsessive, I got a mad flutter of nerves in my tummy every time I wondered what his answer would have been.
I was though distracted when I ran into Lord Barr again as I was talking to Lia. I saw in Lia’s eyes exactly what she thought of a man like Lord Barr and I didn’t hesitate to introduce them. I tried not to hang around and get in the way while they chatted, but dinner was given the five minute notice before I could even think of an excuse, let alone before they’d had enough time to talk.
I hurriedly excused myself and found Lord Barr’s place card and swapped it with mine next to Lia, then I sat in my seat as everyone else found theirs and prayed this dinner wasn’t going to go the same way as the last one had.
“Are you matchmaking, Tatiana?” Dmitri’s voice appeared behind me.
“You have to stop doing that,” I told him.
“Doing what?”
“Just appearing out of thin air,” I mumbled.
The women finished sitting and then the men took their seats.
“I was under the impression I was seated next to Lord Barr.”
I looked at him, tilting my head just enough to avoid any skin touching. “They were getting along. Is anyone going to notice I swapped them?”
“I certainly will not bring attention to it… Under one condition.”
I looked at him sceptically. “Yeah. And what’s that?”
“May I eat all my dinner this time without you drowning it in wine?”
I snorted and looked away in case another one escaped. “Cute,” I told him. “I suppose you’d rather I didn’t set anything on fire too?”
He got quicker control over his smirk than I was managing. “That would be preferable.”
“Look, I promise nothing. But you can tell on me in if I set you on fire. Deal?”
Dmitri looked around the table and his eyes were shining with humour when he looked back to me. “All right. Deal.”
The rest of dinner went as well as could be expected. I did keep my pyrotechnic abilities under wraps and I only spilled a couple of drops of wine when my wine glass tried to run away but I saved it.
Dmitri actually let out a small huff of a laugh at that and said, “At least it is not fire.”
Chapter Thirteen
Missing my time in the library at Genovich, I thought I’d head down to the palace library and pick something random off the shelves. The p
alace was dark and empty until I was halfway down the stairs and I heard my name.
“Lady Tatiana. Are you having trouble sleeping?”
I steeled myself and turned a smile on him. “Sort of. I was chatting to Jenn and Bea and that always wakes me up.”
Dmitri was obviously confused.
“They’re my best friends from home… Adelaide…” I shook my head. “You know what I mean.”
“Ah. You are able to talk to them a lot?”
I shrugged. “Enough. I miss them. But I’m busy, they’re busy, and we’re busy at different times so sometimes it’s hard to chat.”
He nodded once. “I see. Do you have plans to see them at all before university starts?”
I shook my head. “Probably not. They start uni in March and it sort of defeats the purpose of spending time with Dad if I pop home to see them so soon. Plus there’s no way I could afford to fly back right now and – yeah – Dad has the money but asking him seems rude when I’m only just here and…” Why am I still talking? “You totally don’t care.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched as the corner of his mouth lifted for a split second. “I think you will find that is not quite correct, Tatiana.” Was that a hint of humour in his voice?
“Is that so, Dmitri?”
He inclined his head again. “Ja. You will find that I am very interested in you.”
I blinked at him and saw the exact moment he realised what that had sounded like.
He cleared his throat. “Uh. That is to say…” There went that muttering of Gallyrian and I caught enough of it to know he was annoyed with himself. “In the sense that I am not uncaring. I would like for you to consider me a friend, and I am known to care about my friends.”
My stupid heart pounded wildly, for a moment forgetting that we didn’t actually want him to be more than a friend so hoping there was the beginnings of potential to be. I took a deep breath to try to calm it down and smiled.
“I’d like that, too.”
“I know I am not the easiest to get along with–”
My laughter stopped him and I held up an apologetic hand. “Sorry,” I giggled. “That was about me thinking I’m not the easiest to get along with… I wasn’t… I mean…”
My ramblings stumbled to a halt as he smiled. It was small and had a sense of politeness about it, but the way it lit up his eyes made more than my stomach flutter.
“Shall we agree neither of us are the easiest to get along with?”
“A true gentleman might disagree with a lady,” I teased.
He nodded, his eyes sliding away from me while he seemed to need to control his smile. “He might. But that would require a true gentleman and a lady being involved in this conversation.”
I snorted, but the laugh escaped anyway. “Well played, your highness.”
He rubbed his hand over his chin as though he was hiding the force of his smile behind it. “If you are not going to bed soon, perhaps you’d like to join me for a drink?”
I nodded. “I was heading for the library, but only because I didn’t really know what else to do.”
“You enjoy the library?”
I nodded. “Weirdly I do. I was never big into reading. I think I just had too much to do for school. But now there isn’t any of that, I don’t mind it. And there’s something nice about sitting among all those old books.”
“I am glad someone else thinks the same. I find the library is a wonderful place to have a drink late at night.”
“Well… Shall we?”
He inclined his head. “Ja.”
We both started off at the same time and I was glad I’d decided to get dressed. Not only did I feel better wandering the only slightly warm hallways of the palace, but I also felt relatively not idiotic in front of Dmitri who was still in a suit of course.
“So…” I started as we walked. “How are…things?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets as we turned into the hallway to the library. “What is it you tell Max? They go.”
I laughed. “Oh dear. That’s usually only reserved for things that go badly.”
“That sounds about right, ja.”
“Damn. I’d ask if there was anything I could do. But I expect you’ll tell me the same thing Dad does.”
Dmitri indicated I precede him into the library and I smiled before sliding in ahead with my usual level of awkwardness and clumsiness as I bounced between the doorframe and him in my attempt to now brush past him on my way in.
“If I knew how to fix it, then perhaps I would,” he said.
“You want to talk about it?”
I stood and looked around with a smile. The lights were all mainly out but there were a couple of lamps on and the fire was still going. When I looked back to Dmitri he was pouring two glasses. He swirled the one in his left hand as he walked towards me. I took the moment to shamelessly have a lech at the fine specimen he cut as per usual. His suit was as usual perfect and he held himself with the combination of practiced eased, authority, and enough self-confident arrogance to make it sexy rather than full of himself.
He watched me carefully as he passed me the glass in his right hand and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the fire. I had the distinct impression that he was trying to decide if he was going to say anything or not. I wordlessly dropped into the other chair and stared back at him.
He took a sip of his drink before he said, “I have watched the way the press has responded to your arrival, Tatiana.” He looked down at the glass in his hands for a moment. “I am honestly not sure if I prefer my life or yours.”
I didn’t know if I was miffed at an implication I could make or chuffed he was making an effort. “You’d prefer to be dragged through the news linked to men you have no interest in?” I asked, trying to lighten his mood a little.
He watched me carefully as he leant forwards, his elbows on his knees. “You have no interest in my brother?”
My eyes dropped to my glass. “Not the way the media have it.”
“Really?”
“I thought we covered this… What? Three weeks ago?”
“That was three weeks ago. You and Dominic have spent a lot of time together since. As much as my brother and I do not get along, even I have to admit he is very charming when he wants to be. I imagine there are few people who would blame you if you had fallen for it.”
I looked back up at him. “And you’d be one of them.”
“I would be.”
“In good news, that is not a reason for you to think any less of me.”
“What is a reason for me to think less of you?” A hint of a smile played at his lips and the fire was making the humour in his eyes shine bright.
“How about my complete inability to behave appropriately?”
He smiled at me with not even a pretence of trying to hide it or avoid looking at me. “Appropriate is subjective, Tati. I think only more of you for trying.”
I felt my cheeks heat as I smiled to myself. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one.”
“I would advise you not listen to what is said in the news. They come up with all number of strange ideas in the name of selling.”
I smirked. “So you don’t advocate all-out war on what they’re describing as the Rebel Alliance?”
An actual huff of laughter escaped him as he scrubbed a hand over his chin and sat back in his chair again. “Nie. Not war.” He paused and looked down as he rolled the tumbler in his hands again. I felt like more was coming so I took a sip to make sure I kept my mouth shut. “The country looks at me as the soldier prince. They think I am damaged from my years in the forces. They say I went on one too many missions and it has broken me–”
“Has it?”
He looked back to me, our eyes pinned as my chest hitched and my breath caught. “I do not know,” he said slowly in Gallyrian and we both knew I’d understood. When he spoke next, he’d switched back to English. “Some days
I hope not, and others I hope it has.” He shook his head as he exhaled heavily. “I would never wish war on my country. I will always look for any other option. I just do not know how to stop it. If these rebels keep pushing, we will have no choice but to push back. No matter the potential civilian cost.”
“But you don’t want anyone to die?”
He shook his head. “Never. I would lock myself in a negotiation room with the rebel leader for however long it took if I could.”
“Why can’t you?”
Dmitri sighed. “It’s complicated. There are many who are happy to complain about the monarchy but do not want change or know what change they want. Sometimes it is easier to stay unhappy than work for change.”
“Don’t I know that,” I said softly.
“You are worried about the press still?” he asked, concern wrinkling his features a little.
I shook my head, then stopped and shrugged. “I am in some ways.”
“But that was not what you were referring to?”
I nodded. “No.”
He watched me like he was wondering whether or not to pry. What he chose was, “In my life it is much easier to maintain the status quo than to…create change. No matter what I might want.”
The tone of his voice and the sincerity on his face made me swallow hard. I took a moment to shift in my seat – pulling my legs up under me on the chair. “Those rules again?”
He nodded. “Among others.”
“Like what?”
He seemed to make himself more comfortable and looked at me thoughtfully. “Do remember the crowds at the Nutcracker premier?”
I frowned as I thought about it. “What about them?”
Dmitri smiled softly. “It would make sense you did not see it.”
“Because I’m blind?” I wanted to be insulted, but I was having much too good a time for that.
“Because you live in the moment, you have different responsibilities, and you are not constantly in fear of your country imploding.”
“Should I be?” I asked, suddenly wondering if I was meant to be paying more attention, if it reflected poorly on me and my family that I didn’t care more.
Lady in Training (I'm No Princess Book 2) Page 10