Dmitri shrugged. “Some would say yes. Some would say you will be happier for not.”
“And which are you?”
“I am the one who constantly worries but would say you will be happier for it.”
“I’d have thought the crown prince wanted the country’s people more concerned for its welfare.”
He nodded. “I do. But I wish for you to be happy.”
I full on blushed, harder than before, and looked down in an effort to hide it. “Oh,” was literally all I could say. My brain was frozen with some impossible combination of too many thoughts and the complete absence of any thoughts.
He chuckled roughly and I really liked the sound of it. Like, I really, really liked the sound of it. “That was incredibly forward. I am sorry.”
I shook my head. “Please don’t be.”
“No?”
I looked back up at him and my eyes met his. Whatever happened in my chest was more than a flutter, it was more than a hitch. My heart didn’t so much as skip a beat, rather it seemed to stop for a moment and then start with a stronger one.
I shook my head again. “No.”
He nodded once, the soft smile at his lips mirrored in force in his eyes. “Then I am not.”
I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face, but I wasn’t so sure if it was wise to continue flirting with him. “You mentioned responsibilities… Does that mean you feel responsible for the country?”
The soft smile didn’t leave his face and I found it very hard to stop my imagination running away with me in the background or my heart beating very quickly in my chest.
“I do.”
“Because you’re going to be king?”
He looked uncertain about that. “Because my father brought me up to care. That is not to say my love for my country is not real. But I was brought up with it, I was brought up to be concerned with the health and safety of a wide number of people I will likely never meet. That I am going to be king?” He breathed out heavily and almost slumped in his chair. “I think the only thing that does is make me feel like I am going to ruin everything.”
I scoffed sympathetically. “I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful king.”
“There are many who think I am too cold.”
I bit my lip in an effort to stop the nervous smile, but it came anyway. “I would say they’re wrong.”
“Would you?” He seemed genuinely surprised, but not unpleasantly so.
I nodded. “I would.”
“You barely know me.”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Yet you think you understand me?” He might have been challenging me, but he wasn’t angry about it. If anything, he was humoured.
“I would say, Dmitri, that the man you would have been under different circumstances might have found it easier to be…warmer. But that doesn’t make the man you are cold.”
“And who is the man you think I am?” he asked me, his tone soft, his eyes warm, and everything about the way he was looking at me reminding me that sometimes I did want to explore his body with my tongue.
I swallowed so I didn’t blurt any of that out. “I think you’re…professional. And your profession is being the crown prince. Like any job, you act accordingly and as well as you are able. Sometimes you let your temper get the better of you, but you’re only human after all. You aren’t as open as your siblings with your words or emotions, but I don’t think that means you’re without them.”
“Are there any particular emotions you think I’m capable?”
“You say that like you’re not capable of any.”
“Sometimes it feels like I am not. I have had the whole country watching me since I was born. I have had people only interested in the way my status will affect theirs. I have grown up never really sure who I can trust or who I can be honest with–”
“I don’t care you’re a prince,” I blurted out.
He inclined his head, a crooked smirk raising one side of his mouth. “Of this I am well aware. I have to say it is more refreshing than it is maddening.”
I smiled. “Well I’d hate to let you down.”
The other side of his mouth tipped up for a split second. “Of that I am glad.”
We shared a small laugh and chatted for a while longer until I started yawning and he walked me companionably to my room. As he left me at my door, I couldn’t have said he was completely relaxed, but he definitely wasn’t as rigid as usual.
Chapter Fourteen
Lia bounced up and down from her seat on the bed and I shot her a look.
“Stop it,” I told her with a laugh.
“I can’t help it. I’m excited.”
I rolled my eyes. “You saw it yesterday with Madame Jacqueline.”
Lia snorted. “Don’t care. Let me see again now.”
“But it’s so heavy!” I complained.
There had been a noticeable shift in her mood since the State dinner and a certain someone had been paying a spectacular amount of notice to her. The certain someone who called on her on Thursday after Mum had left and their date had been such a success that he was going to escort her to the New Years’ Eve ball.
But it wasn’t wise to mention Lord Barr – his first name was Rupert and that was less wise to mention because it made Lia giggle, just not in the early flush of romance way – because then I wouldn’t hear about anything else for the next five years. But then, I was pleased that she was feeling better about me and us and the whole princes thing.
“Come on, Tati. You’re going to look amazing!” Lia squealed and I sighed.
“Fine. But you can pick it up. It’s in the wardrobe.”
She jumped up and pulled the doors open. She turned to look at me with a squeal of excitement. “You’re going to look amazing!” she repeated.
“So are you.”
“You don’t think my skirt’s too poufy?”
“Firstly, Madame Jacqueline knows what she’s doing. And secondly, are you just worried now that you won’t be able to get close enough to Rupert,” I cooed and Lia blushed.
“No.”
“Lies.”
She giggled. “Okay. Now that you mention it, it’s a concern. But I just didn’t want to look like a giant blue marshmallow.”
I snorted. “You’ll look great. Don’t worry.”
“When are Gerta and Shelly coming in?”
I looked at the time on my phone. “Soon and I was going to shower.”
“Okay, I’ll leave you be and go shower myself.”
Lia gave me a massive hug before swanning out humming. Actually humming. It had been forever since I’d heard her hum.
I showered in what I thought was record time but was actually over ten minutes too long. But Shelly and Gerta more than made up for it in getting me ready.
Given the backless nature of the dress, there was tape and we had to sort out the built in bra – because saggy boobs are the worst apparently (I am paraphrasing slightly). But we finally got me dressed in Madame Jacqueline’s creation.
It was black satin with a ball gown skirt and a sweetheart neckline on the bodice. Two straps of material went over my shoulders and hugged very little but my side boob, leaving the whole of my back bare. At my butt dimples, there was a massive satin bow. The whole thing was amazing and I felt less tarted up than I’d expected, even with my hair styled specifically to one side so my tattoo was extra visible.
There was a knock on the door and I called them in as I slipped on my shoes.
“My lady are you…” Nico’s next words were not really acceptable for polite conversation.
I turned and smiled at him. “Hey.”
“Wait. Turn?”
I did a slow spin for him and he wore a mask of awe when I saw his face next. “Wow.”
“Don’t tell me the great Nico is lost for words,” I laughed as I got Shelly to help me put my bracelet on.
He shook his head. “No.” He shook hi
s head again. “Not at all.”
I grinned as Gerta gave me the all clear. “We will see you tomorrow, my lady.”
“Thank you. Have a good night,” I said.
She and Shelly curtsied to me then to Nico and hurried out. Nico was still staring at me and I grabbed his arm as I laughed. “Are you going to escort me or not?”
He nodded “Definitely.”
I slid my arm through Nico’s and took a deep breath.
“Nervous?”
“About showing off my back complete with tattoo to the whole court? No. Why would you think that?”
Nico chuckled. “You look beautiful, Anya. Jacqueline did a spectacular job as always and you look exquisite.”
I felt my chest warm. “Thanks, Nico.” I reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then we headed down to the ballroom.
Once again I was able to sidle in and park my butt with a beer and people I knew.
Dad found me not long after and he sighed. “Let me see it then.”
I gave him a slow twirl and got ready to face the music. Only the music was not as disapproving as I’d expected it to be. “You don’t hate it?” I tried.
Dad sighed again. “I don’t hate it. The dress is gorgeous and the tattoo is…beautiful as well as meaningful. It’s different, kiddo. But I don’t hate it.”
I smiled at him. “I’m not sure this is a style I’m going to let Madame Jacqueline get away with all the time.”
“Really? I thought it was very much your style.”
I looked down and ran a hand over my skirt. “It is. But it’s bloody freezing on my back.”
Dad laughed. “Of course. It’s a shame you can’t just wear your pyjamas and ugg boots to the ball.” He realised his mistake before long. “No. That does not give you permission to wear your pyjamas and uggs.”
I sighed. “Fine.”
Dad continued on his rounds and Kostin found me. Nico had disappeared to say hello to a few people and I’d been more than happy to hang around near the beer replenishment. Through the night, we kept an effectual base of operations and there was usual at least one of us there for someone else to join. Although Lia was noticeably absent from our little home-base as she was off mingling with Rupert’s friends.
Unless I was dancing with Nico or Kostin, I was chatting with Faith and Lina, Kostin or Nico and doing the occasional hello to people as they stopped to say hello.
I saw Charlotte Farraday and we talked about what I’d need to do if I wanted to go to Holberg at any point in any season, and she seemed thoroughly excited that I wanted to do film studies at uni.
The Marquise de Ronique and Amanda has some choice facial expression when I turned around to find them behind me. Again they were more aggressive than passive but I’d had so many compliments on my dress – not that I had a lot of say in it anyway – and my ink that I was feeling nigh on invincible against them.
General Arnell saw me and went in the other direction so that was nice.
And I spent some time letting Dad introduce me to people I hadn’t managed to meet at my presentation ball.
Rex even asked for a dance at one point and he smiled down at me. “My hand isn’t too cold, is it?” he asked.
“Uh. Should it be?” I asked, confused.
“I do not think I’ve ever danced with anyone with a bare back.”
Understanding dawned. “Ah. No. They’re fine thanks. I haven’t shaken up the court too much, have I?”
Rex laughed. “Not at all. I think it’s beautiful. I was just telling Hilde before how nice I thought you looked.”
I smiled. “Thank you. Madame Jaqueline sure knows her stuff.”
“Ja, she does. Between her and her staff, I’ve been told there’s nothing they can’t put together.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
It being unseemly for Rex to spend too much time with one person, let alone a young single woman with her back on show, he excused himself soon after and made it look like Dmitri had asked to cut in.
“Having a good night?” I asked him, feeling like we were hopefully at the stage where we could make small talk without a fight breaking out.
“Good is a very subjective assessment of anything.”
I smirked. “All right. By what assessment would you judge the night?”
“Objectively?”
“Of course.”
“Dry.”
“You’re not drinking?”
He laughed the coughed a little as though he hadn’t intended to. “I am drinking. I more meant we are sheltered from the outside elements and we are dry.”
“Seriously?” I asked with a laugh. “I don’t think that’s really a decent assessment criteria.”
“A scale of wet to dry?” he asked, a hint of cheek in his tone.
Without thinking I answered, “I guess it’s helpful when sex is intended, but I’m not sure it applies to balls.”
“I do not know about you. But I find it very difficult to intend sex without balls.”
My eyes shot to his and I saw the barely concealed humour on his face. It made me fight to keep control of my own. “Was that a legitimate joke?”
He dipped his mouth to my ear. “Do not go telling everyone. They will all want one.”
He didn’t move away and our arms tightened around each other. We danced a few more dances, not making any real effort to talk but letting it happen if it did. I felt sizzling goose bumps along my skin and everything was bubbly like I was constantly about to giggle excitedly. Especially with his big, warm hand splayed against my naked back all sure and steady and firm. It was enough to give a girl chills if she didn’t already feel on fire.
“Most people in this room will…leave with certain ideas if I keep dancing with you, Tati,” he said softly after a while.
I nodded, knowing he was right. “Shame.”
“I agree.”
My chest fluttered and I pulled away from him slowly. “I could do with a drink anyway,” I told him with a smile.
He inclined his head. “Until later, my lady.”
“Your highness.”
I collected my skirts and threaded my way out of the throng of dancers. But it felt eerily like I’d left something behind.
Chapter Fifteen
Midnight was fast approaching and the ball showed no signs of stopping. I however needed a short break. Despite complaining earlier about how cold my back was, the room had heated up when and I could feel myself getting sweaty.
So I found my way towards the little side door to the hallway in the hopes of getting some fresh air that wasn’t quite freezing. I’d almost made it when Dmitri emerged from the crowd ahead of me.
“Your highness,” I said, somewhat breathlessly.
“Lady Tatiana. You are well?”
I nodded. “Fine. Just need a second to cool down, fresh air, you know.”
He looked around quickly, then took my hand and pulled me out of the ballroom. I had little choice but to follow wherever he led because I quite liked the feeling of his hand in mine.
Finally he pushed open some doors and I realised we were in the conservatory. I hadn’t been in there since my dance lessons finished. The whole place was bedecked in fairy lights that twinkled magically against the backdrop of the winter night sky through the glass.
He came to an abrupt halt which made me I tripped on my own feet and stumble into him. Even feeling like a complete idiot, I still looked up into those dark brown eyes. Something in them pinned me. Or it could have been that last beer that had my hand sliding up his chest slowly and cupping his cheek. My chest had a fluttering of nervous excitement in it and I suddenly realised I was leaning up to him.
I started pulling away. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have–”
“Stopped,” he interrupted as his fingers gently closed around my wrist to keep it near him.
I blinked. “What?”
“You should not have
stopped, Tati,” he said meaningfully before he took my cheek in his other hand and kissed me.
Everything tingled warmness and my heart felt like it cheesily, cornily, felt like it skipped a beat. His other hand went to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and totally surrendered to the domineering passion I think I did a pretty decent job at returning.
I didn’t think about how cold he could be. I didn’t remember how insulting he could be. I didn’t care that he had the personality of a wet towel most of the time. I only remembered the first second I saw him in real life. I only thought about the guy I’d talked to in the kitchen and the library, the guy I’d shared my favourite ice cream with, I’d had a drink with, I’d talked to like an equal. I only thought about the guy who warmed me up from the inside out, who made me forget that I was more useless in this life than anything else.
Dmitri kissed me hard and I thought I knew what people talked about when they said they felt sparks fly. I thought I knew what fireworks felt like. I felt every single nerve in my body sizzle in dizzy anticipation of more. My fingers slid into his hair and I felt that weird fluttery lightness in my chest.
Then there was a noise and, after a moment, he pulled away very much like he’d rather do anything else. He looked around slowly, then there was that crooked smile creeping across his face when he looked back at me. To say it totally transformed him would be a terrible cliché. But it did something to my insides that I wanted to explore further.
He left his hand on my waist as the other trailed gently down my cheek.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think you did.” I looked down at my dress. “You don’t think it’s too inappropriate for a royal ball?”
His crooked smile grew and my heart legitimately skipped a beat that time. “Its appropriateness could easily be debated. However I still think you look beautiful.” His hand went to my back – my very naked back, remember – and his fingers sent tingles down my spine as they grazed my skin lightly. “I particularly like…this.”
I nodded, thinking I should have guessed. “You like that I’m basically half naked from the back?”
Lady in Training (I'm No Princess Book 2) Page 11