Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

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  Chapter 2

  Once he was fairly sure she wasn’t going to faint, Alexander pried himself off the floor and went to get her some water. He found a handful of glasses in the cabinet to the left of the sink, grabbed one off the shelf, and filled it with water from the tap.

  Grace hadn’t moved. She was still sitting on the floor with a look of grief and what seemed to be an edge of panic on her face. The crying he’d been expecting, but not the other. What could have been in the letter that would cause such a reaction?

  He bent down, careful not to change positions too quickly to allow his leg time to adjust, and handed her the glass.

  It took her a moment, but she reached out and accepted the offering. “Thank you.”

  Alexander grinned. “You’re welcome.”

  She took a sip of the water, and then eased herself back into the chair. Alexander followed her lead and retook his seat. He wanted to comfort her—the desire was almost overwhelming—but didn’t want to crowd her either. They’d only just met and she didn’t know him.

  Several long moments passed before she cleared her throat. “Did my husband tell you what was in the letter?”

  Her question made him more curious. “No. He only made me promise to deliver it to you and asked that I stay while you read it. He said he didn’t want you to be alone.”

  Moisture filled her eyes once more, although he had no idea why. She was clearly upset. He needed to do something. “When was the last time you ate?”

  Grace glanced up. She blinked several times before answering. “Um, I had a muffin this morning for breakfast and some soup for lunch.”

  It was after three in the afternoon. “Just soup?”

  “I wasn’t all that hungry.” She averted her eyes, looking almost ashamed of her response. “I know I should be taking better care of myself. Kurt would be disappointed in me.”

  Her choice of words had him shifting his gaze to the necklace she was wearing. It was a silver chain with a heart that rested right above her collarbone. The heart had a keyhole in the center. Alexander had been practicing BDSM for close to fifteen years. Being a Dom was something that came naturally to him. He thought back to the conversations he’d had with Kurt. His friend had never said anything, but that didn’t mean he and his wife hadn’t been in a Dominant/submissive relationship.

  “Grace.” Alexander waited until she was looking at him. “Is there food in your refrigerator?”

  She stared at him for a heartbeat, as if what he’d said hadn’t registered. “Yes.”

  Alexander nodded, stood, and walked over to her refrigerator.

  “I’m not—”

  “You need to eat,” he said as he went to open the door and take a look inside. He wasn’t going to back down on this. She needed to take better care of herself. “Nothing’s going to jump out at me, right?”

  That brought a small smile to her face, which was what he’d intended. “No. At least I don’t think so.”

  The inside of her refrigerator looked a lot like the one in his apartment, which wasn’t saying much. It had the staples: milk, eggs, juice, some yogurt, and some leftover pizza. He pulled out the pizza since that would be quicker and less messy than the eggs. “You need to go grocery shopping.”

  “I know. I don’t eat much at home.”

  He paused to give her a questioning look before putting some of the pizza in the microwave. Alexander knew he was probably charging through a bunch of boundaries he shouldn’t, but if what he suspected was true, Grace hadn’t only lost her husband. She’d lost her Dom. And since she was in a new city, chances were she didn’t have anyone local she could share that loss with. She needed to be taken care of, and until she chose someone else for the job . . .

  Grace looked sheepish again. “I work a café and I eat while I’m there most of the time.”

  “Good.” At least she was eating. That made him feel a little better. “Your family is from St. Louis, right? Do they visit often?”

  The microwave chimed and he took the pizza over to her at the table.

  “Thank you.” She gave him a grateful smile and picked up a piece. Apparently she’d decided not to fight him on the food.

  “You’re welcome.” He sat down across from her, a little closer than before.

  “I feel like I’m being a bad host,” she said after swallowing her first bite.

  He chose to ignore her comment. “Your family?”

  “My sister stops by a few times a week to check on me, and I usually see my mom on the weekends.” Grace took another bite, and then hesitated. “I feel like I’m being rude, eating in front of you like this.”

  “Are you forgetting who insisted you eat in the first place?” He quirked one eyebrow up in question, which made her grin again. It was good to see some of the sadness in her eyes fade, even if only for a moment.

  “I can see why you and Kurt got along. You’re a lot alike.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  She picked off a slice of pepperoni, seeming to examine it closely, and then whispered, “He was the best man I’d ever known.”

  This time Alexander didn’t hesitate to comfort her when he saw the tears threaten again. He placed a gentle hand on her arm, letting her warmth seep through the tips of his fingers. “If I could have traded places with him, I would have. He talked about coming home to you all the time.”

  The next thing he knew, Grace leaned toward him and he pulled her into his embrace. He tucked her head into the crook of his neck and held her while she let go. Her entire body shook as she cried, and each time it was like a punch to his gut.

  He let her weep, offering what comfort he could, and eventually her sobs quieted. “I’m sorry,” she said, trying to pull herself together. “I shouldn’t have—”

  “No apologies needed.” Without thinking, he reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek. “I’m more than willing to lend you my shoulder to cry on anytime you need it.”

  Her gaze met his and held for a moment before pulling away. “Excuse me for moment. I need to . . .”

  “I’ll wait.”

  Grace nodded and rushed out of the room. When she returned to the table, the only sign of her recent crying jag was the redness around her eyes.

  He sat quietly across from Grace while she ate another two pieces of the pizza he’d warmed up for her. As much as he would have loved to continue talking to her, he wanted her to eat her food more. Everything else could wait.

  “Did you want the rest?” she asked. “I can’t eat anymore.”

  “Thank you for offering, but I had a big lunch. And besides, you might get hungry later.” He smiled and went to put her leftover pizza away. “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you need?”

  He’d expected her to respond, but she didn’t. She was looking back down at the letter, which was lying on the table.

  Alexander was getting ready to ask again when she spoke. “Are you married, Mr. Greco?”

  Her question threw him for a moment. “No, I’m not. And please call me Alexander.”

  “So you didn’t have someone back home waiting for you?”

  He had no idea where she was going with this. “No. I haven’t had much time for relationships since I joined the Army, and even less since I was discharged.”

  Grace brushed her fingertips over the paper. She appeared deep in thought. “Thank you for bringing my husband’s letter to me.”

  It very much sounded as if he was being dismissed. Alexander fished his wallet out of his back pocket and retrieved a business card with his cell phone number on it. One day he hoped it would also include information about his private practice, but until then it was an easy way to pass along his information when needed. “Take my number. If you need anything, call me. Day or night. I’m planning to stay in St. Louis . . . at least for a while.”

  For a second he thoug
ht she was going to refuse, but instead she took the card and nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”

  He climbed into his vehicle a few minutes later. With his errand accomplished, he should have felt a weight lifted off his shoulders, but he didn’t. If anything, he felt more of an obligation now than he had before he’d met Grace Martin.

  Pulling away from the curb, Alexander wondered if she’d use the number he’d given her. It would be easier for him if she didn’t, but he’d never been one to take the easy road. If he had, he wouldn’t have spent ten years serving in the Army. He would have put in his time and gotten out. But if he’d done that, he wouldn’t have met Kurt Martin, and now Grace.

  Alexander was reminded again of the necklace she wore. The necklace he was almost positive was a collar. Had that been the reason Kurt insisted Alexander be the one to deliver Grace the letter? Had he known Alexander was a Dom?

  There was no way to know the answer to that question, but Alexander did know one thing. This wasn’t going to be the last time he saw Grace Martin.

  ***

  Grace stood by the window, behind the cover of the curtains, as Alexander drove away. He’d been reluctant to leave. Given the way she’d broken down, she really couldn’t blame him. He probably thought she would fall apart again the moment he left.

  He wasn’t far off the mark. Once his car was out of sight, she made sure all the doors were locked before traipsing upstairs to her bedroom.

  Her bed took up most of the space, but there was a small nightstand on one side with a lamp and a stack of books. She strolled over and turned on the light before kicking off her shoes and crawling onto the bed. Over the last month or so she’d started reading again. Her boss, Beth, had even lent her some of her favorite novels.

  But tonight the only thing on Grace’s mind was her husband’s words. Sure, she could ignore her master’s last command, but Grace had never been good at that. She’d always been a good little sub, and disregarding her Dom’s last order wasn’t in her.

  Without much thought, Grace kicked the sheets down until she was able to burrow beneath them. Fall had arrived and the weather was starting to cool. She hadn’t needed to turn on the air-conditioning for the last week. Still, most people probably wouldn’t have wanted more than a sheet, let alone the comforter she kept on her bed, but she liked the weight.

  She unfolded the letter and read it for the third time, hoping somehow that the words would have changed. They hadn’t. It had taken years for her and Kurt to build the trust they’d had together, years to form the bond that gave her so much joy and pleasure. Even when he’d been thousands of miles away she could feel their connection.

  He’d given her no timetable for finding another master. She could put it off, but in her heart she’d know she was disobeying.

  Sliding farther down onto the mattress, she brought the sheet up until it was tucked beneath her chin, and rolled onto her side. Was she ready to start dating again? Find another master?

  She had no idea how to answer that.

  Somewhere along the line, Grace must have fallen asleep. It was dark out when she opened her eyes. She went to use the bathroom and get a drink of water before returning to her bed. There were so many decisions she needed to make and she’d never been good at that.

  Grace lay there contemplating her options until her alarm went off at five thirty. It was Tuesday and she had to get ready for work. At least there she knew her place, what she needed to do.

  Tommy was the first person Grace saw when she walked through the back door of the café. He was putting some of Beth’s blueberry muffins into the oven. The thought alone made her mouth start to water.

  “Morning, Grace.”

  She gave a small wave and went to put her purse on the shelf and grab her apron.

  “How was your weekend?” he asked.

  “It was good. How was yours?” It was the same way she answered every time he asked.

  “Tommy had a date this weekend,” Beth chimed in as she came around the corner and placed a large bag of flour on the counter. “Morning, Grace.”

  Grace went to the sink to wash her hands so she could help with the baking. “Morning.”

  They fell into what had become their normal routine. Beth and Tommy had known each other for years, since before Beth had opened the café, and you could tell by the way they teased each other. Grace never felt left out, though. They tried to include her as much as possible in their conversations and she appreciated it. The café was the one place Grace felt like she belonged these days.

  The buzzer went off and Tommy went to get the muffins out of the oven to cool while Grace and Beth loaded the front counter with all the goodies they’d made that morning. Once everything was in place and ready to go, they each pulled a stool up to one of the prep tables and grabbed a muffin. It had become a morning ritual of theirs.

  Beth said it was because she rarely was able to grab breakfast before she left for work anymore since her fiancé, Drew, had moved in with her. She said they tended to get distracted and food wasn’t high on their list of priorities. While Grace could see where Drew could be a distraction, their morning muffin break hadn’t started until after Beth had found out that Grace didn’t always eat breakfast before coming to work.

  “So have you and Drew set a date?” Tommy asked Beth as he polished off his muffin.

  “We’re still discussing it.”

  Tommy shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re waiting for.”

  “We’ve only been engaged for a month.” Beth looked to Grace. “That’s not long, right?”

  Their discussion was cut short when the oven timer went off, letting them know that not only were the scones ready, but it was time to open the doors. Tommy hopped off his stool and took his plate over to the large stainless steel sink along the wall then he disappeared through the swinging doors that separated the front of the restaurant from the kitchen area.

  “I guess that means it’s showtime,” Beth said, scraping some crumbs off the counter.

  Grace tied a clean apron around her waist. “I’ll get the soup started.”

  The day flew by and before Grace knew it, they were putting food away and wiping down tables. In the two months she’d been working for Beth, she’d gotten to know a lot of the regulars. They greeted her with a smile and always brightened her day. She felt like she’d found an extended family at Beth’s Café. She owed her sister, Gabby, a huge thank you for pushing her to apply for the job.

  “Any big plans for tonight, Grace?” Tommy asked as he cleaned the display case.

  The first thing she thought of was her husband’s letter. Of course, she couldn’t say anything about that to Tommy. “I might swing by my sister’s.” It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that. Grace was planning to do the same thing she did most nights after work—go home to her lonely house and find a way to pass the time.

  He poked his head up over the display case. “You should come out to dinner with us.”

  It took her a second to realize she must have missed something. “Dinner?”

  Tommy chuckled. “Yeah. Dinner. Me. Beth. Drew. Nicole and Jeff. You could invite your sister, too. I’m sure Beth wouldn’t mind.”

  “What wouldn’t I mind?” Beth strolled into the dining room, carrying the vacuum.

  He didn’t miss a beat. “If Grace and her sister joined us for dinner tonight.”

  A smile lit up Beth’s face. “Of course I wouldn’t mind. Grace, we’d love for you and your sister to join us.”

  Grace felt backed into a corner. She wanted to make an excuse, to say no, but it wasn’t in her. There was something about her that wanted to please. She’d always been that way. “I’ll ask her.”

  “I can use my charm on her if you want,” Tommy said. “I can be very persuasive when I need to be.”

  She’d seen it firsthand with their customers. All the regulars loved Tommy. He knew all of them by name and made each one of them feel special. It was someth
ing Grace envied, but she’d never have his outgoing personality.

  Before she could think of something to say, Beth did. “I think she can handle it all on her own, can’t you, Grace?”

  A wave of gratitude for her boss washed over her. Beth seemed to understand her shyness even if Tommy didn’t. “Yes.”

  Because she’d said she would, Grace called her sister and asked if she wanted to go out to dinner with Grace’s coworkers and some of their friends. She’d no sooner gotten the question out when her sister told her she’d call their mom about watching Taylor and asked what time they needed to be there, which was how Grace found herself sitting at a table with her sister, Beth, Tommy, and a bunch of people Grace didn’t really know all that well.

  She knew Drew. Kind of. He’d stopped into the café a few times to see Beth, but given her timid nature, Grace hadn’t said much more than hi to the guy.

  The lack of knowing anyone didn’t deter her sister. Gabby jumped right into the conversation. “Grace said you two recently got engaged. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” Drew said, taking Beth’s left hand in his. He kissed the ring on her finger. “It took me a while, but eventually I wore her down.”

  Beth rolled her eyes. “Maybe I just wanted to see how far you’d chase me.”

  He leaned in, his lips a breath away from hers. “To the moon and back.”

  Grace’s chest constricted watching the exchange. The love Beth and Drew had for each other rolled off them in waves. It was a precious gift, one that had been taken away from Grace all too soon. She hoped they both knew how blessed they were and didn’t take what they had for granted.

  When their food came, the conversation turned to some outreach work Drew and his friend Shawn, who’d also joined them for dinner, were doing at a local school.

  By the time she and her sister headed home, Grace was ready to drop. It had been almost a year since she’d socialized so much and it was exhausting.

  “Are you okay over there?” her sister asked as they drove toward Grace’s house.