Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

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  Chapter 6

  Grace ran her hands over her hair in a nervous gesture. As she reached her neck, she felt her collar still around it. She went to the mirror and took a long look at herself.

  Again, her gaze zeroed in on her collar. If she was going to do this, Grace knew she needed to take it off. She couldn’t truly move on if she was still wearing another man’s collar.

  Her hands shook as she eased them beneath her hair at the nape of her neck and her fingers grazed the clasp. It took her several attempts, but finally it came free. She held it in both her hands, staring at it for what felt like forever before closing her eyes and forcing herself to breathe.

  Once she was fairly sure she wouldn’t lose it, Grace crossed the room to her closet. She lifted a small cardboard box from the shelf and placed it on the bed. Inside were several of Kurt’s things, things she wasn’t willing to part with, including a dried flower from their first date.

  Grace opened the box and was immediately assaulted by memories. It took everything in her not to say fuck it, put her collar back on, and stay home. But that wasn’t what Kurt wanted for her.

  Before she could talk herself out of it, she placed her collar inside the box along with her wedding ring, closed it, and put the box back in the closet. She ran out of the house, needing to get away before she changed her mind.

  ***

  Grace took a shaky breath, opened her car door, and placed her feet on the pavement. Each step she took toward the brick building felt heavier than the one before. She felt naked. Exposed. And utterly terrified. It was the first time she’d been without her collar for almost ten years.

  It had been over a month since Alexander had delivered her husband’s letter to her. A month that she’d spent preparing for today—the first step in fulfilling her master’s last command.

  When she reached the door, a little voice in the back of her head told her she still had time to turn around and leave. Seconds before she followed that voice, the door opened and a woman appeared. “You must be Grace.”

  “Yes.” Her voice sounded shaky to her own ears, but maybe Katrina Mayer, the owner of Serpent’s Kiss, couldn’t hear it. At least that’s what she was hoping.

  “Come. We’ll go to my office.”

  Grace followed Katrina inside. They walked through a small foyer, then a larger one. Then they stepped into what had to be the club itself. It was empty, of course—it was the middle of the day, after all—but Grace could still picture what it would be like full of people. She swallowed and clutched her purse tighter to her chest.

  They went down a short hallway before reaching Katrina’s office. There was a large wooden desk in the center of the room, two chairs, a love seat, and some filing cabinets. It looked like any other office.

  “Please, have a seat.”

  “Thank you,” Grace whispered, lowering herself down into one of the chairs.

  Katrina leaned back in her chair and Grace tried not to fidget. She hadn’t known what to expect from the club mistress. Katrina had been nice enough on the phone when she’d called and explained who she was and why she was calling, but people weren’t always the same in person as they were on the phone. When Grace had spoken with her, she would have guessed Katrina to be around Grace’s age, but if Grace had to guess, she’d say the club’s mistress was closer to fifty.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Grace? You said it’s been less than a year?” She was surprised at the level of sympathy she heard in the woman’s voice.

  The best thing to do was be honest. “I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t think I’m going to until I try.”

  Over the last two weeks, she’d been out to dinner with Alexander several more times and each time it had gotten a little easier. They’d formed a friendship of sorts. He didn’t know many people in St. Louis and she needed to start living again, something she hadn’t done much of since moving back home. Alexander seemed to understand that. He’d helped her get ready for this next step even though he didn’t fully understand what that next step was.

  Katrina stared at her from across the desk for a long minute before speaking. “Did you bring your paperwork with you?”

  “Yes.” Grace pulled the papers from her purse and handed them to Katrina. One was an explanation of the club’s rules, which Grace had to sign. The rest were her test results. All club members had to be tested for STIs every six months.

  The club mistress took her time scanning over the documents, making sure everything was in order. She laid the papers on the desk. “Do you have any questions for me before we take a tour of the club?”

  Grace shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

  They headed down the hall back to the large room. “The club is open Friday and Saturday from six in the evening until two in the morning. There’s no attendance requirement, however, the more often you come the more comfortable you’ll get with the club and its members.” She stopped and held Grace’s gaze. “I know this is a big step for you.”

  “It is.” Grace started to reach for her collar, but then remembered it was no longer there. If she was going to find a new Dom, she couldn’t be wearing her husband’s collar.

  Another wave of sadness and anxiety rolled through her.

  Katrina gave her a minute, and then they continued on. The first floor had plenty of seating, a bar, a dance floor and a stage. Katrina explained that the stage was used for demonstrations.

  “Would you like a water before we head upstairs?” Katrina asked, moving behind the bar.

  “Yes, please.” Grace felt parched and she had no idea why. Probably nerves.

  After handing Grace a bottle of water, Katrina led the way over to the staircase up to the second floor. “Over there,” she said, pointing to a hallway behind the stairs, “are the locker rooms. We don’t have a dress code here. You can dress how you feel comfortable.” Katrina’s eyes lit up. “Or however your Master or Mistress desires.”

  It was strange, but listening to Katrina talk about things eased some of Grace’s fears. What she was seeking was normal in this place. No one would think it odd or crazy for her to be there looking for a Dom. In fact, it would be expected.

  The second floor was a long hallway with a series of rooms. Each had a large window giving those in the hallway a front seat view to whatever was going on inside. She’d seen most of it before. These were the playrooms and whether her mind was ready or not, her body was. It had been almost two years since she’d felt the sting of a crop on her backside.

  But was she ready for a man who wasn’t her husband to wield it? That was the question. A question she wasn’t sure she had the answer to.

  After taking a look at each of the rooms and explaining how they handled the use and care of the toys, Katrina led Grace back to her office. “Do you still wish to join Serpent’s Kiss, Grace?”

  She knew she could say no, walk out that door, and go on with her life as she had been, but she trusted her master. He knew better than anyone what she needed. “Yes. I still want to join.”

  Katrina nodded. “Wait here. I’ll go get your membership card ready. You’ll need it to get into the club.”

  The time passed slowly, even though Katrina was only gone for a few minutes. During that time Grace wondered how she was going to go about finding a new Dom. She’d been to clubs before, but never on her own.

  “Here you are.”

  The suddenness of Katrina’s reappearance startled Grace.

  Katrina chuckled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. Here is your membership card.”

  “Thanks.” The card was a dark gray with a red S and a black K. She tucked it into her purse.

  “The main door out front is always unlocked if the club is open, however, you’ll need to swipe it to get into the main lobby, and then again to enter the club. If you have any trouble, call me. I’m always here if the club’s open.”

  Grace nodded.<
br />
  “Before you go,” Katrina said, moving back to the other side of her desk, “I’ve been thinking. Given your situation, I’d like to assign you a protector.”

  “A protector?”

  “Yes. One of our Doms would stay with you, show you around, introduce you to some of our club members. Answer any questions you have. At least for your first night.”

  To be honest, that sounded wonderful. If she was on her own, she’d probably sit in a corner all night and not interact with anyone. “Thank you. I think that would help.”

  Katrina grinned. “Did you have any other questions I can answer?”

  “Do I need to bring my limits list with me?”

  “You can, if you’d like, but it’s not necessary. I’m assuming you’ve negotiated a scene before?”

  She had, but it had been a while. “Yes.”

  “If you decide you’d like to play, just let your protector know what kind of play you’re looking for and he can help guide you to a Dom who might be able to meet your needs. But that’s up to you. If all you want to do is observe and meet a few people, that is fine, too.”

  The more she talked to Katrina the better Grace felt. Some kink clubs were all about play, but that didn’t seem to be the case with Serpent’s Kiss.

  “The goal is to enjoy yourself. There’s no pressure.”

  She thanked Katrina again as she walked Grace to the door.

  “We’re glad to have you. I think you’ll make a great addition to the club.”

  Grace said goodbye, promising she’d be there Friday night around six thirty. Katrina thought it would be best if Grace arrived before the club got busy. She couldn’t disagree and to Grace’s surprise, as she pulled away from the club and drove home, she wasn’t filled with dread about Friday night. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

  ***

  On Friday during her shift at the café Grace was a mess. She almost dropped a handful of orders and managed to spill soup on her shirt. Luckily, Beth had a change of clothes in her car. The shirt was a little big on her, but considering the alternative of wearing one with a huge tomato soup stain down the front, she’d taken it.

  She’d been nervous all week, so much so that she’d bowed out of her dinner plans with Alexander on Thursday night saying she wasn’t feeling all that great. He’d offered to bring her something instead, insisting she needed to eat. Grace hadn’t been able to say no, so he’d brought her chicken soup and a large baguette. His generosity made her feel guilty for lying.

  “Any plans for the weekend?”

  It took her a moment to realize Beth had been talking to her. “Um, I don’t know yet.”

  “Drew and I are thinking about driving to Chicago after we close on Saturday. He’s never been.”

  Grace grinned. Even talking to Beth had become easier over the last month. “It’s been years since I’ve been to Chicago. I’m sure it’s changed.”

  Beth threw a dirty towel into the laundry bin and removed her apron. “I haven’t been there in about five years myself, but he surprised me last week with tickets to a show.” Her eyes lit up as they both grabbed purses and walked to the back door. “I’m excited about getting away more than anything. Just the two of us. Alone in Chicago.”

  As happy as Grace was for her boss, she couldn’t shake the sadness she felt. But it was slightly different this time. Before when she’d listened or watched the obvious signs of another couple in love, she’d felt such a pang of loss for her husband that it was almost debilitating. Grace still felt the loss to an extent, but she also felt a longing as well. She missed that feeling. Maybe that meant she really was ready.

  She was on her way home when her phone rang. Since she was driving, she let it go to voice mail. It could only be one of three people. Her sister. Her mother. Or Alexander, which was most likely. They were the only three people to ever call her besides Beth, and considering Grace had seen her less than ten minutes ago, it was highly unlikely it was her.

  Once she made her way into the house and took off her coat—the weather had finally begun to turn two days ago—Grace checked her phone. She’d been right. It had been Alexander. She’d call him back, but not before she took a shower. Even with the fresh shirt, Grace could still feel the remnants of soup on her.

  Twenty-five minutes later, Grace headed downstairs in her robe to heat up dinner. As her food was warming in the microwave, she called Alexander back.

  “I was starting to get worried.” His obvious concern made her feel bad for not returning his call as soon as she’d gotten home.

  “Sorry. I was driving home when you called and I really needed to take a shower. I was a bit clumsy today and managed to spill a full ladle of soup on myself.” She still couldn’t believe she’d done that.

  “Did you burn yourself?”

  “No, but my shirt didn’t fare so well. Beth had a spare in her car that she let me borrow.” Speaking of which, Grace made a note to get Beth’s shirt washed this weekend so she could return it to her on Tuesday. She’d do it tonight, but there wasn’t time before she needed to be at Serpent’s Kiss and she didn’t want to be late.

  “Maybe you should have stayed home and rested.” She knew he was referring to her not feeling well the night before, which only made her feel worse since it had been a lie.

  “It wasn’t that. I was just distracted and not paying attention to what I was doing.” The microwave beeped, letting her know her food was ready. Grace tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she retrieved her dinner. She took extra special care not to spill anything on her way to the table. Taking another shower before getting ready would only put her in a crunch for time.

  “What’s for dinner?” he asked, and she knew he must have heard the microwave.

  “The rest of the chicken soup you brought over.” She paused before taking another bite. “Thank you again. You didn’t have to.”

  “That’s what friends are for, right?”

  They talked until she was finished eating her soup, making plans to go out to dinner the following week. Twice, he said, in order to make up for her canceling on him on Thursday.

  By the time she trekked back upstairs to get ready, she was feeling more relaxed. That was until she went to her closet and pulled out her outfit for the evening. Katrina had said there wasn’t really a dress code, but Grace had been in the lifestyle long enough to know what was expected and what wasn’t. Especially if the goal was for her to find a new Dom.

  The black corset showed off her curves, as did the tight black skirt she was wearing. Grace chose a black thong to go with the outfit. She wasn’t planning to play with anyone tonight, but she still needed to look the part. That was the whole point of going, right?

  Her anxiety increased as she drove toward downtown St. Louis, and skyrocketed when she pulled into the small parking lot alongside the club.

  Sitting alone in her car, engine off, she tried to give herself a pep talk. Grace had never searched for a Dom before. She and Kurt had discovered the lifestyle together. It had been fun and revealing. They’d learned so much about each other.

  Was she ready for that with someone else?

  Grace turned to look at herself in the rearview mirror. “You can do this,” she muttered to herself.

  Before she could talk herself out of it, Grace got out of the car. She clutched her coat tighter to her body as she hurried across the parking lot— or hurried as much as she could in heels. The wind had kicked up, blowing from the north. It was going to be a chilly night.

  She stepped into the small foyer, out of the wind, and removed the membership card Katrina had given Grace from the small purse she’d brought with her. With shaky hands she swiped the card. There was a soft clicking noise, letting her know the door was unlocked. She turned the knob and stepped inside.

  The room she walked into was exactly as she remembered it with one exception. Tonight there was a woman sitting in the alcove at the far end of the room. She looked up when she h
eard Grace enter.

  “Are you Grace?” she asked.

  Grace nodded.

  “Katrina told me you’d be coming tonight. Welcome to Serpent’s Kiss.”

  “Thanks.”

  The woman smiled. “I can take your coat and purse if you’d like. You won’t need it in the club.”

  It was only then that Grace realized she had a death grip on her coat and purse. The woman probably thought she was crazy.

  Crossing the room, Grace removed her coat. She handed it to the woman, followed by her purse.

  “Do you need something to keep your membership card in while you’re inside? We have little ID holders with wristbands if you need one.”

  “No, thank you. I have a pocket in my skirt.”

  “Perfect.” She grinned and turned to hang up Grace’s coat and purse. “I’m Ali, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Ali was dressed similar to Grace except she wore tight leather pants instead of a skirt.

  “Katrina should be here any minute.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Was that normal or had she done something wrong already?

  Ali chuckled. “Don’t look so worried. Katrina does this with every new member. I think she likes to see their first reactions, but in your case she also wants to introduce you to Justin.”

  Grace didn’t get a chance to contemplate that before the door to their right opened. Katrina strolled into the room in a midnight blue corset and black pants that looked as if they’d been painted on. She finished off the outfit with black boots that came up to her knees. She looked every bit the Domme she was.

  “Good evening, Grace.”

  Without conscious thought, Grace’s gaze lowered. “Good evening, Mistress Katrina.”

  There was a pause before Katrina responded. “I think you’re going to do just fine here, Grace. Come on in. I want to introduce you to your protector, Justin. He’ll be sticking with you tonight while you get used to things.”

  Grace followed Katrina over to the door where she’d entered.

  “Make sure you keep your membership card with you. You’ll need to swipe it here.” She pointed to the card reader on the wall next to the door. “And you’ll also need it for any drink purchases at the bar.” When she didn’t move, Katrina tilted her head toward the card reader. “Go ahead and swipe your card and we’ll get started on finding you a Dom.”