#HateThatBoy

by Yesenia Vargas

  “And today, well, today, it was my fault. I got the time wrong, I didn’t check my phone, and I should have. I was with Noah.”

  Mia sighed, and everyone else looked down or away.

  “He’s not just a boy,” I said. “He means a lot to me, but cheer is important to me too. So are you guys. And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Can you forgive me?”

  Mia nodded, and it felt like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. “You should have just told us what was going on, Tori. But honestly, this whole unspoken no boys rule is kind of dumb. There’s room in our lives for love and cheer.”

  Julie smiled. “I completely agree.”

  “What a relief,” Zoey said. “I really want to ask this guy out from my trig class.”

  We laughed.

  “You heard Tori,” Mia said. “Let’s crush it. And let’s see if we can finally nail this routine. I want to go home.”

  After that, we performed our routine flawlessly. We were back in sync and just in time for nationals.

  Back in the locker room, Hanna wiped her face with her t-shirt, her flat stomach peeking out. “I can’t wait until this is over. I love cheer, but this time of year is always so intense. I haven’t even had time to go prom dress shopping, and it’s in two weeks.”

  Everyone started chatting about prom, a happy distraction from today’s emotionally and physically grueling practice. Just like that, we were back to our old selves instead of the silent locker room from the past few days. I never realized how big of a role I played in how the squad did until now, and it made my stomach feel unsettled.

  Part of me didn’t like how much responsibility rested on my shoulders. But at the same time, it was a feeling like none other to have everyone else look up to me.

  I turned around to change. As I finished and gathered my things to leave, Claire came over. “I just wanted to say sorry about my comment the other day. I didn’t realize you and Noah—”

  “It’s okay,” I said, watching her carefully. She seemed sincere, but it was hard to tell with Claire.

  “I know sometimes I mess up, but I’m trying to do better,” she went on. “And for the record, Noah seems like a great guy, and I think you guys are great together.”

  The final bell of the day rang, and people left the gym in droves, including the squad. “Tori, you coming to dinner with us?” Mia asked on our way out of the gym.

  We were due back for a short evening practice in a couple of hours. On the opposite side of the gym, Noah hung back, probably hoping I’d go talk to him or walk with him to the bus, but I couldn’t. Not with my mom here.

  I looked back to Mia. “Um, sure, yeah. I’ll catch up. Just text me.”

  She nodded, eyeing Noah beyond me. “Okay.” She walked off arm in arm with Julie.

  I didn’t really want to talk to Noah right now, but after dodging his calls the past few days and hardly texting him back with more than one-word responses, I knew I should go talk to him. Let him know my cheer friends knew about us.

  Noah met me halfway.

  “Hey, I don’t really have time to talk,” I said.

  He was really quiet. “I know. I just wanted to say hi and see you for a few minutes.”

  He glanced around to make sure no one was watching us, but everyone was long gone. Then he came in and gave me a peck on the cheek. For a moment, I felt like I could breathe again, but then I remembered that I should really get going. I could not risk being late to practice later.

  Noah squeezed my hand then let go. “Can I at least walk you to your car? I have a few minutes before I need to hop on the bus.”

  I nodded.

  “Are you okay?” Noah leaned in close, and I smiled.

  “I am now. I finally told the squad about us,” I said.

  “And?” he asked.

  “And it went way better than I thought.”

  This time, he kissed me for real, and I put my arms around him.

  The sound of a door shutting nearby made me jump away from Noah.

  I turned to see my mom walking toward us from Coach Davis’s office. She stopped when she saw us, the expression on her face changing from confusion to understanding.

  Before I could tell Noah anything, she said, “Tori, may I speak to you for a few minutes? Privately?” She lay her eyes on Noah like she dared him to stick around any longer.

  He glanced at me then at her, his usual easygoing smile missing. Instead, he looked torn between doing what my mom was asking and sticking up for me, for us. “Nice to see you, Mrs. Rodriguez. Tori, I’ll see you later?” Without waiting for me to answer, he left, letting the gym’s double-doors slam closed behind him.

  I turned back to my mom. The gym was empty, the constant chatter and bouncing of balls from just a few minutes ago replaced by dead silence.

  My mom’s voice sounded hard and firm, and now I knew she was angry. “Is that boy the reason why you haven’t been focusing on cheer? A boy, Tori? Really? After all the hard work you’ve put in, you’re going to throw it all away now?”

  “Mom, he’s not the reason I haven’t been able to focus on cheer. Like I said before, I’ve just had a lot on my plate. Advanced classes and competitive cheer is a lot, okay?” The loud echo of my voice wasn’t helping, but I just wished she understood how much pressure she put on me every single day.

  “Either way, that boy is a distraction, and unlike Gary, he doesn’t get it. From what I’ve heard, he doesn’t do any extracurricular activities or sports, and his background isn’t the best. What’s his future going to be like, Tori? Is a boy like him worth sacrificing your own future?” Now her voice echoed throughout the empty gym.

  I stared back at her, blinking back tears of frustration. “A boy like him? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She took a step toward me. “You know exactly what I mean, Victoria. And I forbid you to see him again, do you hear me? He’s not good for you. Your squad is counting on you, and I won’t have you throwing everything away for a boy you just met.”

  I spun around so she wouldn’t see how upset I was. “I can’t believe you.”

  “At least a nice boy like Gary has goals of his own, Tori. He’s not pulling you away from yours. A boy like Gary has a bright future ahead of him. You should stick with someone like him, if you ask me.”

  I spun back around and fumed at her, but she held firm, her arms crossed.

  I had half a mind to tell her why I’d broken up with Gary, but this had already gone too far, and she didn’t deserve to know my secrets. She’d just keep making excuses.

  “I only want what’s best for you, Tori. Maybe you’re too young to see that right now. Cheer will give you opportunities, honey.” After a moment, she exhaled, but I was more livid than ever.

  I could hardly process her words anymore.

  She mumbled something about being late for a meeting and left me there, alone.

  Twenty-One

  On Friday, Ms. Holloway let us have quiet reading time in the library instead of our usual classwork. Just about everyone was behind on their reading for the midterm paper. I had The Fault In Our Stars with me.

  I found myself roaming away from everyone else, who pretended to read while browsing social media behind open books. I sat down and leaned back against a far wall, hidden behind a bookcase. It was the same one where I had found my book and really started talking to Noah for the first time.

  I closed my eyes, wishing I could just let myself fall asleep right there. Nationals was in less than twenty-four hours, and I didn’t want to think about it too much.

  A familiar voice interrupted my attempt to get a nap in while pretending to read behind the shelves. “What do you think of the book so far?”

  My eyes fluttered open, and I made room for Noah. He sat down next to me. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but it wasn’t the right time.

  Ever since that conversation yesterday with my mom and the whole ordeal with the squad and coach with being late to practice, thi
ngs just felt different. For me, anyway. Like an invisible wall had come up between us, and I didn’t know how to make it go away.

  “So? What do you think? Do you like it?”

  Oh, the book. “It’s good.”

  Noah’s fingers tangled with mine. My breathing became a little faster, my heart beat a little quicker.

  I stared at the rows and rows of books, the spines all different in color and height and thickness. Each containing their own story. “Do you ever feel like someone else is writing your story? Like you’re not even in control of what happens with your own life?” I searched his eyes for the answer, but all I saw were his own questions.

  “I don’t know,” he replied. “But I do know that, in less than two years, I definitely will be writing my own story. Right now, all I can do is be there for Emma and learn as much as I can about coding and computers. It’s my ticket to a better life for me and my sister, you know?”

  I nodded. “Sometimes, I just don’t know what I really want for my life anymore. I thought I loved cheer, but lately, it’s like my whole life is cheer, and there’s no room for anything else.” My voice cracked, and I swallowed. What I wanted to say, I couldn’t say here.

  But I had to.

  Noah spoke up. “I know it’s been hard lately, but nationals will be over soon. You said so yourself, your friends, the team—”

  “Don’t you get it?” I asked, meeting his eyes. “Cheer will always be in the way. My mom—”

  “Is this about your mom? Did she say something yesterday? Maybe if I talk to her—”

  “I’m not allowed to see you anymore, Noah,” I finally said. I thought a weight would be lifted from my chest, but instead, it felt like I was being crushed.

  He slid his hand away from mine. “Is this what you want?” he asked.

  “It doesn’t matter what I want,” I said. “You’re better off with someone else anyway. I don’t have time for a boyfriend, and—”

  “Tori, don’t do this, please,” he said, turning his body toward me. “I can tell you don’t want to. I’m sure your mom will come around—”

  The sound of Ms. Holloway’s voice reached us.

  I turned to Noah. “We should go.”

  He put his hand on my cheek, and I was glad I wasn’t standing because his touch made me weak. “Promise me you’ll think about it? Please. We’ll figure it out.”

  I wanted to say no. My brain was screaming no, but my heart took over. I nodded. “Okay.”

  * * *

  When Noah and I came out of our temporary hiding spot behind the bookshelves, Krista was there, sitting at a table only a few feet away.

  I glanced at her but quickly looked away like I hadn’t seen her. Ever since the incident at the pep rally, she had stayed away, and none of the cheerleaders had said a word to her. I wanted it to stay that way.

  “I heard a little rumor about you two, and I was wondering if it was true,” Krista said, hardly looking up. Several books and a notebook lay in front of her.

  I turned to her, and Noah stopped in his tracks without a word.

  “What’s it to you?” I asked.

  She put her pencil down and closed her binder, smiling up at me like a shark. “Oh, it’s nothing to me, but it should matter to you.”

  I stared back at her, wondering what she could possibly be talking about. I got ready to leave without giving her the pleasure of asking what she meant, but her eyes flicked to Noah and then back to me.

  “Did he not tell you? You know, I saw you two walking together on the soccer field the day of early release, and I knew my hunch had to be true. Who would have thought? The most popular girl in school in love with Noah Thomas. Always carrying around that laptop. No offense, Noah. I know we were friends for a little while. Wish it had worked out.”

  Noah took a step toward her. “I’m glad it didn’t. I found out what kind of person you really are.”

  Krista clenched her jaw for a split second before she went back to her default evil smile. She turned to me. “So did he tell you? All that time, you thought I was the genius behind the pep rally incident when Noah here came up with the idea.”

  My skin prickled with bumps, and my breath hitched as I realized what had just come out of Krista’s mouth. I crossed my arms. “Why should I believe you?”

  I trusted Noah. I definitely didn’t trust Krista.

  She stood up, using her hands on the table to support her as she leaned in toward me. “You don’t have to believe me. Just ask him.”

  I spun around slowly, part of me afraid to meet Noah’s eyes for the first time. Inside my head, I wished with all my might that this was just another one of Krista’s lies.

  But the look on Noah’s face told me she was telling the truth.

  “It’s true?” I asked him. “It was you? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He glared at Krista before turning back to me. “It’s not like that. Before I really got to know you—”

  Now my voice rose, and a few people nearby turned to look at us. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

  “That’s not what I meant. I just assumed—”

  “Assumed what, Noah? That I was just like the mean popular girl at your last school? And then what? You—you led me on without telling me the truth?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was wrong about you. I—”

  Ms. Holloway called for our class one more time, and I made a run for the exit.

  Before I got too far, I turned around. “Stay away from me.”

  Leaving everyone else behind, I got back to class and grabbed my stuff. When the bell rang a second later, I headed straight to the girls’ bathroom on the second floor. I stayed in the stall until the bell for next period rang and the bathroom door slammed closed for the last time.

  I had never felt more humiliated, and once again, I was crying in the bathroom at school. More than ever, I felt like life was pressing in around me, and I couldn’t breathe.

  I covered my face with my hands, pulling my knees up toward me. Without even knowing it, I had let my mask come off around Noah, and it had been a huge mistake.

  Not wanting to be alone anymore, I pulled out my phone and pulled up a message for the only people in the world I could count on right now.

  Tori: SOS. Second floor bathroom.

  Within two minutes, Ella, Harper, Rey, and Lena were there.

  I came out of the stall, and they immediately wrapped their arms around me.

  “What’s wrong? Is it Noah?” Lena asked.

  I nodded.

  “Noah?” Ella asked. “So—”

  “For a couple weeks, yeah, but it’s over now,” I said, trying to keep the tears inside but failing miserably. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I should have.”

  Harper gave me another hug. “It’s okay.”

  Rey bit her lip and frowned. “What happened? We thought something might be going on, but…” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

  I told them everything. How our little sisters had become friends, how he’d spent the night, how we had become more than friends, why I didn’t want to tell anybody.

  “So much for not telling anyone,” I muttered. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows by now after what happened in the library.”

  The way their eyes shifted told me I wasn’t far from the truth.

  Lena wrapped her arm around me. Harper handed me another paper towel, and I wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. “When the squad finds out, they’re gonna hate me, especially if I mess up tomorrow during nationals.”

  Lena gave me a small smile. “You guys are gonna do great, and they’re your friends, aren’t they? They’ll understand. They have to. Otherwise, they’ll have me to deal with.”

  I nodded, but my mind was stuck on Noah. I missed him already.

  Ella put her arm around me. “Don’t worry. Things have a way of working out. They will. Nationals, Noah. It’ll all be okay.”

  But her words didn’t make
sense. Not after everything. Apparently, Noah and I just weren’t meant to be.

  * * *

  Why did Krista have to blow up my life at the worst possible moment?

  So many weeks of just walking past each other without a word or even a second look. I should have known it was too good to last.

  Julie looked at me. “She’s probably just jealous that you’re gonna win prom queen. I think she really wanted it, but from the sound of it, not that many people are voting for her.”

  I groaned. “I really thought all this drama with her was over.”

  Claire put her hands on her hips. “With her, drama is never over.”

  “We just so don’t need this right now, not right before nationals,” I said. “I’m really sorry, you guys.”

  We sat together in the locker room before our last official practice at Westwood High. By the time the final bell had rung, they had heard most of what had happened, but every single one of the girls had immediately asked if I was okay.

  Mia gave me another hug. “It’ll be okay. I know we’re going to do amazing tomorrow, and getting to hold a trophy will make all your boy troubles disappear.”

  I gave her a smile, but inside, I doubted that would be true. But my squad had been there for me, and now I needed to be there for them. I stood up. “You’re right. I’m okay. I’ll be okay.” I wanted to say that I’d only gone out with Noah a couple of weeks, that I didn’t want to dwell on this conversation any longer, but tears threatened to fall down my face again.

  Mia gave me a reassuring look. “You know Julie’s right. She really is just jealous. She’s not worth any of your tears. And the best revenge will be placing at nationals and then winning prom queen. Just watch.”

  I nodded. Then I went over to the sink and washed my face, hoping the puffiness from crying the past couple of hours would go away in time for practice.

  According to Mia, being voted junior prom queen would put Krista in her place, but all I could think about was the fact that the sparkly tiara had already cost me so much when I never even wanted it in the first place.