The Changing Room

by Christine Sykes

  ‘Bye, Molly,’ said Anna as she left with Rufus.

  18

  CLAIRE

  When Anthony arrived home early in the afternoon, Claire was still in bed in the darkened room. Her back ached and she sweated from every pore in her body, or so it seemed. On top of everything else, she was going through early menopause.

  ‘Claire, what are you doing?’

  ‘I need help to get up and have a bath.’

  Anthony ran the bath and helped Claire in. The hot water relieved the pain for a while. If she could stay in the bath forever, she thought, she could cope. The water cooled and she couldn’t reach the tap. The back pain returned and the bubbles dissipated. Her skin turned wrinkly.

  ‘Anthony,’ she called. ‘Anthony, I need to get out. Where the hell are you?’

  Claire was frightened. What if he’d left, become sick of her whinging and whining and decided to go, leaving her to dissolve in the bath? Could she die from being in the bath too long? Surely not. But she could feel the water seeping into her, bloating her. Perhaps she’d die of back pain. The spasms could rack her body so much she’d have a heart attack. Could be the best thing, she thought. She felt useless and wondered if everyone would be better off if she weren’t around.

  She admonished herself for thinking that way. Claire knew therapists called it catastrophising and it had seemed such an easy thing to avoid until now.

  ‘The phone has been going mad and someone from Suitability came to drop a parcel off for you. Oh, you silly thing, the water is freezing. Why didn’t you call out for me?’

  Claire didn’t have the energy to tell Anthony she had called and he should have realised. Anthony let the water out, pulled her out of the bath and helped her to dry off and get into a flannelette nightie. Claire hated nighties, especially flannelette ones, but it was easier than putting on pyjama pants.

  ‘Just put me back into bed,’ she said.

  ‘But you haven’t had any breakfast or lunch.’

  ‘I’m not hungry.’

  ‘Come on, sleepyhead, have some tea and toast at least. Anthony made tea using her favourite tea set and laid it out on the tray she bought in Paris.

  ‘Why did you come home early from work?’

  ‘I decided to take the afternoon off to be with you. There are a few things we need to discuss.’

  ‘What things?’

  ‘Before we do, someone called Anna says she has an emergency. She needs you to sign a letter for a Molly. Here. It’s about losing the visits from her children. She’s going to call later this afternoon to see if you’ve had a chance to look at this draft she’s prepared.’

  Claire took the draft letter and covering note.

  Anna had explained the situation with Molly briefly and clearly. The letter was better than Claire could have written herself. Attached to it were Anna’s dot points on what had happened.

  Claire signed the letter.

  ‘What else?’

  ‘Anna also left this for you to look at, but she said it’s not urgent.’ Anthony handed Claire a manila folder.

  Anna had prepared a table outlining the strategies for the move, including who was responsible, what progress had been made and what the next steps were.

  Even through her blurry vision, Claire could see where everything was up to and what still needed to be done.

  At the back of the folder was the invitation Claire had sent to the volunteers about a styling session on Bastille Day, the following week. Anna had placed a sticky note on it, asking if Claire wanted her to follow up on the arrangements or to cancel it.

  With everything that was going on, Claire had forgotten about the event. She had enjoyed organising it as a reward for volunteers for their hard work and to add to their skill set. Yvette from the prestigious Parisian hospital had agreed to give a talk, the stylist had been briefed, and a local travel agent had donated a return flight to Paris for a raffle that was to be drawn on the night. She scribbled down a list of actions that needed to be taken to ensure the event proceeded.

  ‘Anna is amazing,’ she said. ‘Is that all?’

  ‘There is something I need to talk to you about.’ Anthony shuffled the papers and took a seat on the chair beside the bed. ‘I’ve been offered the fellowship to study overseas.’

  ‘The one Yvette mentioned to me at our dinner party? You only just applied for it. That’s sudden, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Well, they were so impressed with my resumé, they fast-tracked the application.’

  ‘That’s wonderful news. When do we go?’

  ‘Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I leave in a month.’

  ‘How ridiculous. Why so soon?’

  ‘Someone pulled out of this year’s round and they’ve offered me the opportunity.’

  ‘But surely they can delay the commencement, or you could be considered for next year.’

  ‘It’s so competitive and there’s no guarantee I would be successful in a later round.’

  Claire felt conflicted. She didn’t want to stand in Anthony’s way, and was excited about the chance to live in Europe. But so soon? She’d usually pack up and go in an instant, but there was her back. She wasn’t sure she could handle the travel.

  ‘But what about your work?’

  ‘My colleagues will cover for me until they find a replacement.’

  ‘You’ve already discussed this with them? Does that mean you’ve made the decision to go?’

  Anthony took the tray and put it on the dresser. He turned and looked at her with pleading eyes.

  ‘Claire, I really want this. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.’

  ‘But what about us? We’ve never been apart. If you could get a postponement, I could get the Suitability premises sorted out and come with you.’

  ‘See? Suitability. It’s always Suitability with you.’

  ‘It’s a good cause; you said so yourself.’

  ‘It’s more than that to you. It’s an obsession. First, we had clothes all over our garage and front lawn. I was patient, but now it’s taken over your whole life.’

  ‘That’s not fair.’

  ‘Fair? If it wasn’t for that damn organisation, we’d have left early for our weekend away together and you wouldn’t be in this mess with your back.’

  ‘Are you blaming Suitability for my back now?’

  ‘No, I’m blaming you.’

  Claire couldn’t work out what was going on. She moved into a more comfortable position.

  ‘Oh Anthony, how can you say that, with all the good work we do?’

  ‘We all do good works. I spend all day saving lives. But I try not to let it get in the way of my family.’

  ‘You can say that now you’re established. But what about all the hours I spent alone, sacrificing my career, raising the children while you became a top surgeon? And now you are being rewarded for the efforts, you are going to abandon me.’

  ‘And there it is.’

  ‘Yes, there it is. Now I have something of my own, you won’t even sacrifice a little.’

  ‘Just listen to yourself. You never sacrificed. You’ve always done exactly what you wanted. You adored playing hostess, you revelled in setting up your own company and you thrive on being in charge of Suitability.’

  ‘That’s unfair and cruel.’

  ‘But it’s true. You’ve filled our lives with so many activities, we barely have time to breathe. This is my chance to step outside of the vortex to reflect on my career and my life.’

  ‘Without me?’

  Anthony left the room to take a phone call.

  Claire struggled into a jersey dress and limped down the stairs to the living room, where she settled into a comfortable position on the couch. The curtains were open and she watched a breeze playing over the deep blue water in the bay, tipping the masts of the moored boats. The windows needed cleaning again and Claire resolved to arrange for it that afternoon.

  ‘Forget about the windows, can you?’ said
Anthony when she told him. ‘Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. But we need to talk. Properly.’

  ‘About you going overseas alone? There’s no need. I’ll be fine and I’ll sort the premises issue out.’

  ‘It’s not about your back, or Suitability. It’s about me. I want to go by myself.’

  ‘You mean alone? Without me?’

  ‘Without you … but I won’t exactly be alone.’

  ‘What do you mean by not “exactly”? What the hell is going on?’

  Claire was shocked at her tone of voice. She felt uncomfortable all over, inside and out.

  ‘What I’m trying to tell you is I don’t want to go overseas with you right now.’ Anthony seemed almost as uncomfortable as Claire felt.

  ‘I beg your pardon? What on earth are you talking about? Look, I know I’ve been a pain in the proverbial lately, but as soon as this back injury subsides …’

  ‘It won’t stop unless you do something about it.’

  ‘I’m trying to. I have another appointment with the neurosurgeon to discuss whether to have surgery. He said I could end up in a wheelchair if the operation goes wrong. I couldn’t stand that.’

  ‘Oh, be reasonable. You know the chances are slim and you can’t go on this way,’ said Anthony. ‘In any case, I think we need some time apart.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’ Claire could feel the fog creeping across her brain. She wasn’t sure if she was hearing right. Surely this was a mistake. ‘We are soul mates. You and me. Anthony and Claire. Voted the couple who would stay together.’

  ‘That was a long time ago and we’ve grown up. We lead different lives now and have different friends.’

  ‘It doesn’t make any sense to have time apart because we have different friends.’

  ‘We’ve never lived alone. Never had to fend for ourselves.’ Anthony paced the floor. ‘And you must want that too. We never had the chance when we were young.’

  Claire’s parents had approved of Anthony from the first day they met him. Their friendship had grown and, like in a fairy tale, Claire had realised at the school ball she loved him. They agreed to wait until Claire’s nineteenth birthday before getting serious. Anthony rented a room in a cosy bed and breakfast and they explored each other. It was the night they decided they would be together forever. Claire believed that, side by side, they could do anything and achieve everything.

  ‘I never wanted anyone else and I’m happy in the relationship.’

  ‘But is happy enough?’ Anthony stood in front of Claire, wringing his hands. ‘Claire, you are a beautiful, vivacious woman. You deserve to be ecstatic.’

  ‘Then take me overseas with you.’

  ‘I can’t. Not now.’

  Claire felt as if she was spinning in circles. Her head was a sea of anti-inflammatory tablets, her stomach burned and her body throbbed. A light flashed in front of her eyes – a reflection from a boat. She shifted and, as she did so, the back pain returned, along with the realisation of what Anthony was saying. Was he talking about separating?

  19

  MOLLY

  After Anna and Rufus had left, Molly was alone in the house with no one left to blame and no one to talk to about what had happened. She tried calling Lindy, but Lindy didn’t answer. She rarely answered Molly’s calls anymore, saying she was busy with work and further study. Molly felt overwhelmed. Maybe a doughnut would help her feel better. And some chocolate. And some Coke. And ice cream. And chips. Not that she could afford all that. She gathered what change she could find and was about to head out the door when the bell rang. She opened it to find Greg standing sheepishly at the entrance, holding tools to fix the railing and a bunch of pansies.

  ‘Sorry for the way I acted, Molly,’ he said. ‘Here, this is for you.’ ‘Get stuffed, piece of shit,’ said Molly. She slammed the door behind her and walked angrily in the direction of the shops, leaving Greg standing there.

  When she returned, he and his offerings had disappeared. Molly switched on the TV and numbed out in front of it with her bounty.

  *

  Anna called Molly the following day to let her know Claire had signed the reference.

  ‘Thanks,’ said Molly. ‘I need to get the papers to Sophie and sort out the bed situation before she finishes her report.’

  ‘How about I drive over to your place with the papers and I can take you to Family and Community Services? I can also help with the beds.’

  ‘That’d be great.’

  ‘Only thing is, I have to pick up some things for the Bastille Day function which is on tonight. Maybe you could come with me and give me a hand.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Actually, what would really help is if you could assist me to set up for the function and maybe you could attend as well.’

  Molly hadn’t intended going. She thought it’d be too fancy and she’d feel out of place with the other volunteers, but Anna persisted.

  *

  When Molly gave the Family and Community Services counter staff the envelope, she felt like her life, or at least one part of it, was finally within her control. Then she heard Grandma’s voice telling her not to get ahead of herself. She returned to Anna’s car.

  ‘Done,’ she said with a slight smile.

  Anna drove to the charity shop and convinced the staff to deliver two single beds the following day and take away the double bunk for the same price.

  At the seconds shop, Anna and Molly found a treasure trove of cheap items suitable for decorating the showroom as a French salon. They arrived at the premises early to set up the room. Marie-Louise, the stylist, joined them and helped Molly find an outfit for the night as a practice run.

  ‘You are definitely a spring,’ said Marie-Louise. ‘The season of young love and pastel colours. See? And these clothes are too big for you. You must wear clothes which drape over your curves.’

  Despite her initial misgivings, Molly felt special in a wrap dress that brushed her hips and made her neck look longer. She beamed from the registration desk and drank sparkling water from a champagne glass.

  ‘This is the most fun I’ve had since, well, since Grandma died,’ Molly told Anna.

  The room was full when Claire arrived wearing a kaftan and low-heeled shoes, with her usually neat shoulder-length bob pulled back with an elastic band.

  ‘You all right?’ asked Molly.

  ‘Just,’ said Claire. ‘Enough to make it through the night.’

  Claire went to the front of the room to address the crowd. She introduced the stylist, made a joke about needing one herself, and retired to sit at the desk at the back of the room with Molly.

  Anna was chosen to be a model for the evening, and Molly was entranced as the stylist used accessories to liven up Anna’s elegant but boring outfit. She explained the effect of colour and shape.

  ‘We are not wanting to hide ourselves,’ she said. ‘For there is nothing to hide. We want to enhance our good points. That is the difference. And as we say, Vive la différence. Anna here has a winter colouring and is lucky to be able to wear black and white. And see the effect of this burgundy, compared to orange. There.’

  ‘She’s amazing,’ said Molly.

  ‘Yes, they both are,’ said Claire.

  Genevieve had also agreed to be a model, and the stylist pointed out the difference in colour and shape between the two women.

  ‘Genevieve is warmth. Greens and yellow tones will flatter her, see? This blue-based red, which works on Anna, will not work on Genevieve.’

  The stylist helped several other volunteers identify the shades and shapes that would suit them.

  Yvette wore a French Navy dress with white dots and a red necklace and red shoes. She spoke about her position as a surgeon and how she changed her clothes to suit the different circumstances of her position. Marie-Louise joined her and they had a panel discussion about how they could use this advice with their clients.

  Genevieve took over the MC role usually performed by Claire.


  ‘Now for the raffle,’ she said. ‘Can you believe we’ve raised over two thousand dollars for Suitability? Well done to all our volunteers and corporate sponsors. Give ourselves a big round of applause.’

  When the clapping stopped, Genevieve asked Yvette to draw the first prize in the raffle, a return plane ticket to France.

  ‘Anna,’ called Yvette. ‘The prize goes to Anna.’

  ‘That’s great,’ cried Molly. ‘You know Anna is part French?’

  ‘No, I didn’t,’ said Claire. ‘Where is she anyway? She’ll miss out if she’s not here.’

  Molly found Anna in the stockroom, tidying up the piles of clothing.

  ‘Y’ave to come back in, y’ve won.’

  ‘What?’ said Anna.

  ‘Ya won the trip to Paris.’

  ‘But I never win anything.’

  ‘Well, ya have this time. Come on! I’ll help ya finish this later.’ Molly and Anna walked across the landing.

  ‘I’d love to go to Paris one day,’ said Molly. ‘With the kids and everything it’ll be a long time before I can even think about it. But you can go any time. Aren’t you excited?’

  ‘I don’t know. Well, perhaps a little.’

  Anna collected her prize and Claire hugged her.

  ‘Well done, Anna,’ said Claire. ‘You deserve this for all the work you’ve done.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Anna smiled.

  ‘Molly says you have French heritage. Do you have family left in France? Maybe you could visit them.’

  ‘I think a cousin is still alive, but we haven’t had any contact for years. The last time was before my mother died.’

  ‘That’s a pity. Did your mother go back to France?’

  ‘She wanted to. My father saved for years to buy a ticket for her and me. But at the last minute she didn’t go. She used the money for my dental work.’ Anna paused. ‘She always said she chose my teeth over Paris and I should be grateful and smile.’

  ‘No way,’ said Molly. ‘She chose ya teeth over Paris?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know. I thought so at the time, but now I think she was scared to return. I suspect she was ashamed of her working-class life.’