Loved None But You (Pemberley House, #3)

by Noelle Adams

  “I didn’t think I did. But maybe I was wrong.”

  Her breath hitched. “You were?”

  His face drifted so close she couldn’t see anything other than his eyes, his mouth, the dark bristles on his jaw. “I don’t know. But maybe.”

  She waited, but he didn’t close the distance between them. But he also didn’t pull back. And it was torture. To be so close, to almost have him but not quite reach fulfillment.

  She was so overwhelmed with need that she almost pulled him down into a kiss, but the music stopped and people started clapping.

  It broke into the sensual bubble they’d been trapped in. Robert blinked and dropped his arms.

  Anne stepped back and swallowed over her disappointment.

  It was just as well.

  Kissing Robert on the dance floor would have been the stupidest thing she could have done.

  Thank God she hadn’t done it.

  She was supposed to just be nice to him. She wasn’t supposed to get dragged into a hopeless longing for a man who was never going to love her again.

  ROBERT HAD ALMOST KISSED Anne—right there in front of everyone—and the knowledge was utterly terrifying.

  What if he had done it?

  What if he’d given in to the surge of lust and need?

  What if he was on the verge of falling again, when all he wanted to do was get over her?

  In response to the flare of nerves, he backed away from Anne quickly, saying something he hoped was light and casual as he made his retreat.

  Desperately needing a distraction, he found Riot and asked her to dance.

  She was pretty and smiling and willing and giggly, and he tried to convince himself that she was the kind of woman he really wanted.

  It didn’t work, but he kept trying.

  AN HOUR LATER, HE WAS still trying, but he was getting tired of Riot’s empty prattle.

  He’d never met anyone who could talk so much about absolutely nothing. Even his fifth glass of champagne wasn’t enough to dull the exasperating endlessness of it.

  Despite his best efforts, his eyes kept drifting over toward Anne. She was sitting with a glass of champagne, watching the dancing but never looking in his direction. The dancing had stopped so Jane could throw the bouquet (purposefully aimed at Liz, who’d caught it). Then the music had started up again, and Anne had danced once with Vince and once with Ward and once with one of the other groomsmen, so she hadn’t been sitting the whole time, but she felt still and quiet and at the moment Robert craved that like a drug.

  She wasn’t looking at him. At all.

  It was like she was purposefully avoiding it.

  He didn’t know why. They’d been on relatively good terms today. It wouldn’t kill her to glance at him occasionally. He kept looking at her, so it was only fair that she look back at him.

  A fleeting recognition told him that this irrational series of thoughts was prompted by drinking too much. He had a decent tolerance for alcohol, but his edges were definitely a bit blurred at the moment.

  He didn’t care. Most people were in a similar state right now. It was after nine in the evening, and the reception had been going on for hours.

  He’d done his duty. He could leave any time he wanted now.

  But Anne was still there, so he was going to stay too.

  He couldn’t let her score a victory.

  The fact that it felt like a competition was another sign he’d drunk too much, but he didn’t care about that either.

  When he saw Anne getting up and carrying her champagne flute back to the bar, he stood up abruptly.

  Riot was sprawled in her chair, looking like she was feeling no pain. She giggled. “Where are you going?”

  “Just getting another drink. You want one?”

  “No thanks.”

  He picked up his empty glass and followed Anne.

  He wasn’t even sure why. It just felt like he needed to do it.

  As he came up behind her, he realized why he’d come. He said, “You don’t need any more champagne.”

  She jerked in surprise and looked up with a faint sneer. “I’ll get more champagne if I want.”

  “You’ve already had four and a half glasses.” This was making sense to him now. He understood his purpose in being here with her. It was a relief to know he had a good reason.

  “I had five,” she said, her voice lilting slightly as if she was making a particularly good point in an argument.

  “Four and a half. You spilled half your third glass.”

  She was flushed and rumpled and strangely fierce. Her brown eyes glinted, and her dress revealed far too much of her lush cleavage. “How do you know I spilled it?”

  “I saw you.”

  “How could you possibly have seen me? You’ve been flirting with Riot all this time.”

  He scowled. “I wasn’t flirting.”

  “Yes, you were. I saw you.”

  “No, you didn’t. You haven’t looked at me even once.” He’d backed her up against the wall near the bar, and he was pleased with their position. They weren’t close to anyone else, and he was very close to her.

  “I have too!” Her hands clenched in the lapels of his tux. “I’ve looked at you plenty.”

  He couldn’t help but be pleased with her indignant response. Maybe she had been watching him after all. He leaned closer. “I didn’t see you.”

  “That’s because you didn’t look.” She shook her head and tsked her tongue. “I’m afraid you might be drunk.”

  “I’m drunk? You’re the one who’s drunk. That’s why I came to stop you from drinking any more.”

  “I can drink what I want.”

  “You’ll get another migraine if you drink any more.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  She moved her hands, her fingers still clenched in his lapels, like she was futilely attempting to shake him. For obvious reasons, nothing was shaken but the fabric of his jacket. “Don’t argue with me. You don’t get to always boss me around and tell me I’m wrong.”

  “I don’t do that.” He was very hot and very throbby. He couldn’t think clearly enough to understand why.

  “You’re doing it right now. You’re not the boss of me, and you’re not my boyfriend anymore. So you can take your grumpy caveman attitude and your blue eyes and broad shoulders and your five-o’clock shadow and jump in a lake.”

  He blinked in surprise.

  She seemed very pleased with her retort, and she pushed him away from her lightly.

  He stepped back immediately and she marched off, looking like she’d scored a win.

  Robert wondered if maybe she had.

  HE STARTED DRINKING water after that, and an hour later he was thinking clearly again.

  He couldn’t deal with Riot anymore, and Anne wasn’t looking at him, so he’d been hanging out with Vince, Liz, Em, and Ward. They were very couple-y but otherwise not bad company.

  His mind was still a little fuzzy, and he was laughing more easily than normal. But he wasn’t at risk of saying something as stupid as he had with Anne earlier.

  Maybe she’d been too intoxicated to remember what he’d said.

  He remembered. He kept rehearsing every word in his mind, over and over again. Wondering what she might have meant.

  The ballroom was almost empty now. Jane and Charlie had left a long time ago, and most of the other guests had left too.

  At one point, he looked around and couldn’t see Anne.

  She was gone too.

  She’d left without saying goodbye.

  There was no reason she needed to say goodbye to him, but she could have said goodbye to her friends—who were sitting right next to him.

  Anne’s absence was the last sign that the evening was over for real. He stood up with a groan, swaying slightly. “I guess I’ve had enough. I’m heading upstairs.”

  “Okay,” Vince said with an easy smile. He’d always been a serious person, but he’
d been smiling a lot more than he ever had before ever since he’d gotten together with Liz. “Thanks for stepping in today. It meant a lot to Jane and Charlie.”

  “No problem at all. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

  He swayed again as he started to walk, and he realized he still wasn’t quite sober. The building felt hot and claustrophobic in his current condition, so he decided to step outside and get some fresh air before he went upstairs.

  He walked out the main entrance of the building and down the front path. He breathed deeply, cooling off and feeling better.

  He was about to turn around and go back inside when he saw movement down one of the side paths that led through the gardens.

  He recognized something about the figure, so he followed it.

  Blue dress. Rumpled reddish-brown hair. Very curvy figure.

  He knew it. Wanted it.

  He caught up with her after a minute. “Why are you walking around in the dark like this?” he demanded.

  She whirled around with a scowl. “Why do you try to boss me around every time you see me?”

  “I don’t.” He moved closer. He wasn’t as blurry as he’d been before, but his defenses were definitely down. He couldn’t stop himself from doing what he wanted, and he wanted to be close to her. “I don’t do that.”

  “Yes, you do. Every time. You say something rude and bossy and none of your business. I wanted some air, so I came outside.”

  “So did I.”

  “So why do you sound so disapproving about me doing it?” Her lush mouth was turned down in a frown, and it was all he could do not to kiss it.

  “Because you ran away from me. And it’s dark out here and you’ve had a lot to drink.”

  “I ran away because I saw you.”

  “Why would you run away from me?”

  Her eyes were huge in the moonlight and landscape lighting. “Because I didn’t want you to be mean to me.”

  “I’m not going to be mean to you.” He reached down to cup her face. He really couldn’t help it.

  “You aren’t?”

  “No.”

  “You’ve been mean to me a lot lately, and I don’t appreciate it.”

  “I didn’t mean to be mean.”

  “You didn’t?”

  “No. I just wanted you to know that I’ve moved on from you.” One hand slid back so it was tangled in her soft, loose hair.

  “I’ve moved on too,” she whispered, swaying toward him.

  “Good,” he murmured thickly. “We’ve both moved on. That means we can do this.”

  “Do what?”

  He showed her.

  He kissed her.

  Five

  ANNE HAD BEEN TRYING to cool off and sober up outside on her own, and she wasn’t prepared to be kissed by Robert.

  The first time he’d kissed her had been after the first movie they’d seen together. He’d walked her back to her dorm room from his car, and he’d kissed her across the threshold, his lips soft and seeking. Nothing hard and intrusive about it.

  This kiss was different. It was deep and hungry. Fierce.

  She was already fuzzy from the champagne she’d drunk, and the kiss threw her off stride completely. She grabbed at his jacket and opened her mouth to his tongue. Her body washed with heat, and she closed her eyes against the whirling of the world around her.

  This Robert was harder than the boy she remembered. He was shuddering with intensity, and the arms he wrapped around her were strong, possessive.

  Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew this was a mistake. They weren’t in a relationship where this kind of embrace was natural or appropriate, and so doing this was dangerous to her.

  She knew all that—somewhere beneath the fog from the alcohol and the sudden surge of need and passion. But that knowledge didn’t seem to matter at the moment. All that mattered was that Robert was kissing her.

  That he wanted her... as much as she still wanted him.

  So Anne kissed him back, so eager she was almost clumsy as her mouth moved against his and her hands fumbled for parts of him to hold on to.

  Robert didn’t pull back even as the kiss grew deeper. Soon she felt him hard against her middle. She rubbed herself against the bulge at the front of his pants, reveling in this physical manifestation of his desire.

  For her.

  Still.

  After all these years.

  Robert stepped her backward until she was stopped by the trunk of a tree. The bark was rough and uneven, and she felt it beneath the fabric of her dress.

  “My dress!” she gasped, trying to push away from the tree.

  Robert huffed and pulled her toward him and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Where then?”

  “There’re some lounges over that way,” she said, pointing down a path that led farther away from the main house. “No one will be around at this time of night.”

  Without responding in words, Robert started walking in the direction she indicated, taking her with him until they’d reached a small grouping of outdoor furniture. He helped her onto a chaise and then leaned down to kiss her again, climbing on top of her as he did.

  Anne could barely think. Barely process individual actions. She certainly couldn’t mentally work out the pros and cons of what she and Robert were doing right now.

  All she could do was pull him even closer. Rub her hands all along his body over his clothes. Feel every hard plane and firm contour of him.

  It was like he was finally filling a Robert-sized gap inside her—one that had remained empty for far too long.

  She knew this wasn’t smart, but she couldn’t bear to feel incomplete again.

  He was still kissing her, but now he was also pushing her dress higher toward her hips, freeing her legs to part to make room for him. His hands kept exploring, feeling between her thighs until he found the tiny underwear she wore.

  “A thong?” he asked with a rasp in his voice, raising his head and staring down at her with hot, hungry eyes. He had a couple of fingers hooked around the string at the back.

  “My dress is silk. Can’t have panty line.” She arched up when his fingers started stroking her intimately. She hadn’t realized she was aroused, but she definitely was. She was warm and wet and sensitized, and nothing felt as good as his fingers did right now.

  He chuckled, hot and warm at the same time if such a thing was possible. He leaned down to kiss her again as the pad of his thumb settled on her clit and started to rub.

  She arched up at the first touch and then again and again as he kept massaging. She moaned into his mouth and clutched at his shoulders. She came against his hand, shuddering through the waves of pleasure, and she whimpered helplessly as he kept rubbing as his tongue explored the depths of her mouth.

  She might have come again. Or maybe she never stopped. All she knew was that her body hadn’t felt this good in ages, and that Robert was the one doing this to her.

  For her.

  It went on for a long time until she was limp and sweating and so hot her cheeks were blazing. When Robert finally pulled his mouth away from hers, his eyes were pleased and possessive, with a glint of primitive pride that really got her going.

  “How was that?” he asked.

  “Good.” Her voice cracked, so she cleared her throat. “Good.” She was almost embarrassed by how easily she’d responded to his touch, but she couldn’t regret it in any way. Her body was warm and relaxed and pliant, her legs sprawled out widely and her skirt bunched around her waist.

  “Good? You seemed to enjoy it a lot more than good.” He was teasing, and it affected her heart the way his touch was affecting her body.

  “Really good.” She stretched slow and leisurely, enjoying the aftermath of her orgasms.

  “Really good?” He smiled and reached around her body to unzip her dress, pulling the fabric away to reveal the lacy bra she wore. He was still smiling as he leaned forward to flick one of her nipples through the fabric.

  She gasp
ed and pressed her breasts up toward the sudden jolt of pleasure from his tongue. “Amazing.”

  “Hmm?” He took the nipple in his mouth and sucked hard, the wet fabric adding another layer to the sensation.

  “Incredible!” She clawed lines down his back as she wondered if it was possible to come from nothing more than his mouth at her breast.

  He gave her a light nip that made her cry out loudly and tighten her legs around him, trying to get stimulation on her once again throbbing clit.

  “Mind-blowing! It’s mind-blowing. The best thing in the entire world.” She was babbling the words out, arching up toward his mouth shamelessly as he nipped her again.

  She’d had no idea a little bit of pain could feel so good.

  His hand moved between her legs again as he suckled her breast, and soon she was coming hard, almost sobbing as the pleasure overwhelmed her.

  She had no idea what was happening to her. She was never like this in bed. She’d always enjoyed sex, but she’d also been a little self-conscious. About her body. About what she was doing. About whether she was doing it well.

  Even in college with Robert, whom she’d trusted completely, she’d never really let herself go like this. But her inhibitions were down completely right now, and nothing was holding her back.

  When he finally raised his head, he was smiling again, and it made her heart flutter. “It’s good to keep things in perspective.”

  She knew he was teasing again, but it took her a minute to connect the words to what they’d been talking about before. Her mind was nothing but a heated blur of pleasure at the moment.

  “I don’t have a condom,” he said in a different tone. “So if this is all you want to do, then that’s fine with—”

  “I’ve got one,” she said, reaching down to where she’d dropped the small purse she’d brought with her. Then, so he wouldn’t think she’d been planning to do this with him, she added, “I always carry one around for emergencies.”

  “Good thinking.” He accepted the condom packet she handed him.