Dr Sawyer

by Brittany Dreams

  Given the way our residency had been organized this year he was the patient I’d seen the most. It was every day, several times throughout my shift.

  I wiped away more tears that ran down my cheek and Devon placed an arm around me.

  “Hey, I’m sorry,” Devon whispered.

  I shook my head. “It’s okay. Nature of the job right?”

  He looked at me like he didn’t know how to answer.

  “Do you want to go see him?” Dr. Morgan asked. “He’d like that.”

  “I’d really love that,” I answered with a smile.

  “He’s in the recovery room by the lab.”

  I stood up to go and Devon stood too. “I can go with you.”

  “No, I’ll go. We have this thing.” I almost laughed when I remembered the name Coach had given him.

  “Okay. Call me when you need me.”

  “Of course.”

  I made my way down to the lab and the recovery room.

  My spirits lifted when Coach Fratelli turned his head to me and smiled.

  He was attached to several tubes and looked like he’d aged substantially in just the few hours we’d been apart.

  “There’s my girl. See, how she cares,” he joked.

  I walked up to his bedside and sat in the chair right next to him.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “Like shit run over backwards, or like someone hit me with a truck. You know I knew…” He moved his head slowly into a nod.

  “You knew?”

  “I’ve been in pain with the arterial disease for years. Sometimes it’s difficult to separate the pain out, but this felt different to me. That was what I meant the other day. The pain was different. More in my head and not so much the body. Today it just felt like a million knives stabbing into the same spot. I thought I was going to die.” He gave me a weak chuckle. “Doll, I feel like crap.”

  “I’m so sorry. I truly am.”

  He looked at me and held my gaze. “You look like her,” he stated. I didn’t know who he meant. Then it hit me. There was only one woman he’d mentioned since being here. “Maybe that was why I took to you so much. You look just like her when I first met her. My Gabrielle. You know, you were right. Like you always are. I gave her details and they called her and I was told she’ll be on the next flight over.”

  “Where is she coming from?”

  “L.A. That was where we met.”

  “What happened?” Again, that bone had come my way and I was just catching it.

  “We were married for fifteen years, but together for twenty. She cheated on me and I couldn’t forgive her. My son thought it was me who cheated because there was always some scandal in the papers. Some woman after me. From the time I played pro hockey to the time I coached. It’s the way of the game, the way of life. All you had to do was look at me and you could tell how much I loved my wife. There was nobody in this world for me but her. I couldn’t be with anyone else but her. She just didn’t believe in me enough to hold on to that at the time it happened. She just thought I was like the other players who thrived on it. So she cheated on me with my best friend at the time, and it took her several years to tell me what she did. Ten to be exact. By then I was a coach. She felt so bad she came and told me. I couldn’t live with it. I couldn’t forgive her so I left her. My son stopped talking to me because of that and we haven’t spoken in the last eight years.”

  I listened and took it in, watching the remorse on his face.

  “Why didn’t you tell him?”

  He drew in a breath and continued. “It may have sounded foolish of me to not come clean, but that boy looked up to his mother so much I didn’t have the heart to break his. She always thought he’d stopped speaking to me because I left her. It was a cross of communication I never fixed and not the kind of thing you talk about too much.”

  “It sounds like a lot to take in.” I raised my shoulders.

  “Yeah, it’s a lot. Too much. And just like my life it feels like a waste of time. I feel like I should have just manned up and forgiven her. Could have saved me the shit I’ve been through over the last eight years.”

  “You wouldn’t have known.”

  “Maybe. Cheating is the kind of thing that can blindside you. You can go one way or the other. You can shun the person you love completely like I did, or you can chase after them and try to make them love you again. Both are bad. What matters is the sorrow the person feels. I should have taken my wife back because she really was sorry.”

  I thought about Dad.

  He’d been the latter and Mom wasn’t remorseful in anyway. She just used us as a means to an end until she left us in the dumps.

  “When will she get here?” I asked.

  “If I know her, it will be very soon. I know I don’t have long left. So I’m just gonna spend the time with her.” He gave me a little smile. “I think all that money I was going to use on myself can be more beneficial to you guys here for someone else. Maybe I can see my grandkid skate somehow.”

  “You’re very kind Coach.”

  “Well, I may as well try right?” The weak chuckle that resonated from him was so unlike him. He looked weaker even for speaking to me. Like it sapped his energy.

  “I’m going to allow you to rest and come back and check on you later,” I promised and stood.

  “Will you?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate you a lot. And Captain Pompous too.” One last smile inched across his lips then faded. “You should tell him you love him.”

  I was thinking the same.

  It was probably time.

  I gave him a curt nod and left him. I returned a few hours later before I left for the day to check on him but he was asleep.

  On my way home I thought about the day I’d had. It was one of those event-filled days that left you drained out.

  As soon as I pulled up into my driveway I saw a car waiting for me and realized something more was going to happen today.

  When a woman got out of the car and I saw it was Melanie, I knew I was right.

  Chapter 17

  Kelly

  When I’d thought of Melanie in the past, I’d never imagined that we’d meet like this.

  I’d never imagined that we’d meet at all. Full stop.

  It played out a lot simpler than this in my head.

  I’d go to the wedding, look better than a million dollars, and leave.

  Honestly, I hadn’t planned on even staying past the ceremony even though I’d been invited to the reception.

  Nothing past the part where she was supposed to say “I do” to the man I loved.

  What a mess, and it seemed that mess just got messier with her presence.

  What the hell could she want to speak to me about?

  And…how the hell had she found out where I lived?

  Her being at my house at eight o’clock at night did not signal a talk about puppies and handbags.

  I got out of my car, and I can’t say that my approach toward her was of the friendly variety.

  “Hi,” I began. At least that sounded polite. “Can I help you with something?” I arched a brow.

  At first she had the decency to look nervous then it was like she just remembered why she came here and straightened up with an air of authority and defiance.

  “You know who I am?” she asked.

  “I know who you are. Saw your picture on the wedding invite, so yeah, there’s no mistake.” The annoyance was started to roil within me and off my tongue.

  “You know, I used to hear people talk about things. Talk about how it’s weird when your fiancée wants to invite his ex to your wedding. I never thought it would happen to me. I brushed it off though because I supposed it was a chance to be final. Show the ex-person that they’ve moved on and finalize things. But for you, it never quite seemed final. I could always tell when he was thinking about you. He’d get this
look in his eyes and I knew.”

  My lips parted and I actually couldn’t believe the nerve of her. It would have been different if they’d simply broken up, but there was so much more that happened.

  “What is the point of this conversation?” I spat and set my hands on my hips.

  “You’ve always been this person in his life and your presence—whether it was just the thought of you, or you in the flesh—screwed with him. I never had a chance.”

  “Are you kidding me? Are you seriously kidding me? You cheated on him with his own brother! You shouldn’t be talking this shit to me now. Lady, if I were you I would have just left quietly and go somewhere to do whatever.”

  “It was a mistake. A big mistake.”

  “I saw you with Todd at the coffeehouse a few weeks back. You looked cozy together. You know what’s weird? You still hanging out with the man you cheated with, unless you’re a couple.”

  I really didn’t know what the hell she was here for and it was riling me right up.

  “We’re not a couple. It was a mistake and Todd is just there for me because no one else is. He’s simply being a support for me. That is all. Nothing more. I know what I did is disgusting. I get it. No one will speak to me. So, he’s been there.”

  “Look, this whole thing from your side has nothing whatsoever to do with me. I won’t ask how you got my address, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

  She stepped closer and more forceful, her expression stern.

  “Who I want is Devon. I want him back. I’ve always wanted him back. I followed him here the other night. I know you’re together. I suspected he’d go back to you but I didn’t know until the other night when I saw you two together. Days after what should have been days after my wedding. So yes, this has everything to do with you Kelly. I want my man back and as long as you’re in the way, he won’t come back to me.”

  All I could do was stare. At first I was stuck on the fact that she wanted Devon back. Of course I would be.

  But…her belief that she could get him back surpassed my astonishment on the first thing.

  “What the fuck makes you think you’ll get him back?”

  “Time. Time makes me think I will. I’ve allowed him time to process what I did. I have owned up to my mistake and told him how sorry I am. It’s genuine, as genuine as his love was for me. You may have been this big influence in his life but you are not me. He loved me enough to ask me to marry him. That had to count for something. Did he ever ask you that?” Her voice took on a firm edge and her words gripped and cut me deep. “Did he ever ask you to be his wife?” she asked louder.

  “No,” I answered and a wicked smile spread across her face.

  “No. He did not. He wouldn’t have because you weren’t the one for him. I was. And I blew it but it doesn’t change who I was to him. Nor does it change who you are to him, which is just a play thing to pass through his grief. So, I’m here to tell you to back off and stop seeing him. If you have any shred of decency you would have encouraged him to work things out with me. Me, the woman who loves him. Me, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Me. Not you. Rest assured, he’ll remember how much he loves me and when he does he’ll forgive me.”

  I couldn’t find my voice.

  If her words hadn’t cut me I would have probably slapped her or something. Said something. Not just stand there and take the hit.

  She looked me up and down like I was something vile, and backed away, back into her car where she gunned the engine and drove away.

  I just watched.

  ***

  “You’re out of self-rising flour,” Paige declared.

  Her hair was in a little ponytail today. The ends bobbled when she leaned through the kitchen door and stared at me.

  Me—the pathetic mess I’d been since last night.

  “I can make the cookies with regular flour and get Ryan to grab you cookies from the store,” she offered, walking into the sitting room.

  “No, just leave it.”

  She saw the state I’d been in at work and came home with me.

  We had different duties today helping out one of the other departments while Coach Fratelli got his transfer. I didn’t get to see Devon all day and maybe that was a good thing.

  I hadn’t been myself since my encounter with Melanie last night.

  “No, I can’t leave it. You need sugar. I’ll get my boy to grab you some sugar and me too.” She nodded, pulled out her phone, and tapped at the keys. In two seconds a message pinged back to her and she smiled.

  She moved over to me to show me his response.

  Does my adopted wife want some cinnamon bagels too?

  That made me laugh.

  “Tell him yes. In for a penny, in for a pound.” I chuckled, giving her a smile I didn’t feel.

  She messaged him back and set her phone down on the coffee table.

  “My teeth are going to fall out by the time I’m thirty,” I lamented. “And I’ll have diabetes too. The real bad kind.”

  “Nah, I’ll make sure I keep a check on you like I am right now so it won’t get to that stage. I’ll be the person who says ‘Hide the sugar, she’s coming!’ Or ‘Get those cookies off the table!’” She put on a deep voice and balled her fists, trying to make me laugh.

  I smiled. I got as far as telling her about my day from hell at lunch. All I could do was go over the details, but I didn’t go into how I actually felt.

  I didn’t need to with her.

  “Kelly…truth or dare?” Her wild green eyes filled with the warmth we shared as friends. That was the invite to say ‘truth’ because I looked like I needed to talk.

  “Truth,” I answered.

  “How are you truly feeling?”

  “Like hell. Confused and stunned. I can’t quite say specifically besides that. It was just so awful, all that she said and the way she made me feel. I didn’t need it on top of what happened to the coach.”

  She nodded. “I know. I can only imagine how bad you must have felt for all of it. But…let’s focus on Melanie. That is, of course, the thing that’s most pressing on your mind, because like the good doctor you are you would have done your all for your patient. Let’s talk about you.”

  I nodded. “It’s what she said about him asking her to be his wife. I couldn’t refute that because he did. When I got the news that he was getting married I remembered thinking he was going to marry someone who wasn’t me. But it was stupid to feel that way because I never gave him any inkling that we were ever going to be that serious. I held back because I was scared. I held back and never thought to take the plunge to just go with my heart.”

  “You are with him now. He’s not with her. He’s with you, and you’ve shared with me the stuff you guys have talked about. We know that if he knew how you felt there would have been no breakup.”

  “Do we know that though?” I cut in before she could continue. “We think it could have happened like that. People say all kinds of things when things happen to push them to say it. He told me too that he might not have gone through with the wedding. But, we don’t know. It’s all a bunch of what-ifs but to me the biggest thing was he asked her to marry him. That wasn’t a problem. I can’t hold that against him because he’s the kind of man who’s looking for the long term. Not just fun. So he met her and fell for her enough to want to be with her forever.”

  Paige continued to gaze at me and when she didn’t answer I knew I was right.

  “Maybe so Kelly, but I still maintain that he’s with you. Devon is with you and you are still on the path of exploration. You’re still exploring what you could be. Don’t allow this woman with her uptight bitch tactics to rattle you.”

  “It’s too late for that. I’m rattled.”

  More than rattled. That damn fear had snuck back in, feeding off her words. I thought of the concept of time.

  Like Melanie had said, time would pass and Devon would go throu
gh the motions. It had just been a little over eight weeks since he’d been back in my life. Anything could happen next.

  I doubted that her visit would stop with me. She wanted him back so that obviously meant she’d make more of an effort. Then what?

  “Please, try to be strong in this. Trust me, she’s a bitch. She’s realized what she’s done and is simply trying to get you out of the picture so she can do whatever she can to get Devon back.”

  “I know that’s what she’s doing. But…a person wouldn’t try a thing like that after what she’s done unless they had grounds. She does. He loved her once. If it were me I wouldn’t try unless I knew I might have a shot.”

  Paige looked worried, which was the way I felt.

  I wouldn’t be stupid in this matter. It wouldn’t be wise.

  I’d always thought that Devon couldn’t have simply shoved his feelings for her to the side.

  Much as he said what she did made the love he felt for her fade away, time could heal and make people forgive. No matter how much time passed.

  After all, didn’t I witness that just yesterday with Coach Fratelli? He basically took back his wife.

  His story had so much meaning for me although the common theme in all of it was cheaters and the way that their actions had this domino effect.

  My mom cheated on my dad and it destroyed him. What followed with her continuous behavior crushed him, and crushed me too.

  It was Devon’s cheating fiancée who essentially sent him back to my arms no matter the extra details of what he’d told me in relation to his feelings for me.

  And…through all of it I was the person watching. Practically helpless.

  Helpless because all I could do was see what happened next.

  What if Melanie was right and Devon remembered how much he loved her?

  What if he forgave her?

  What would happen to me then?

  Chapter 18

  Devon

  “Be grateful I’m cutting you some slack for not voicing sooner that you had suspicions about the coach,” Jeff said with a smirk, but there was a weightiness in his eyes that told me he was actually being serious.