I looked at Marley. “But you fucked her?”
He shrugged his shoulders at me and wiped his hand across his nose. “I was coked out my head, horny as fuck, and she kept begging me for it. I caught crabs from her and had to shave my pubes and avoid sex for a couple of weeks. Dirty slut! I haven’t been near her since. I don’t know how she keeps getting a backstage pass. No one likes her.”
I shook my head at Marley’s little revelation. I didn’t care about the shagging. It was the coke that worried me. No wonder he looked so skinny, I’d heard it makes you lose weight. That was why Ashley from school liked it.
“Is that why you look so rough, Marls? You been doing coke?”
“Well, thanks for the compliment, George. Don’t mince your words.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “You look tired and skinny, that’s all. I’m worried, and Mum will flip when she sees ya.”
He looked from me to Sean and shrugged. “This tour has been hard work for all of us. Even wonder boy here has had to have a little help to get him through. I ain’t the only one.”
My gaze swung up to Sean, who was looking at Marley like he was about to kill him. “You’ve been doing coke?” I asked Sean. Now it was his turn to shrug. He looked around the room before he answered.
“Just the odd line every now and then, it’s hard going out there. We’ve all needed a little buzz to help us along. It’s nothing and everyone does it.”
I wasn’t surprised, but I was disappointed that he hadn’t told me. The same as he had never mentioned how many groupies there were following them around. I knocked back my drink and said nothing.
Lennon appeared in the doorway. “Boys, come on, I need you for some photographs and a quick interview for this Spanish magazine.”
Sean looked at me. “I won’t be long, stay close to Jimmie.” I nodded and smiled at him, but it was half-hearted. I don’t think that I liked this fame game. It was okay when I was by his side, but I hated that he was seeing, doing, and experiencing, so many new things without me. We did everything together for so long that I couldn’t help but get that horrible feeling that I was losing him, again.
“Let’s get another drink,” Jimmie said. “These fuckin’ groupies are really starting to piss me off. They’re our boyfriends, but they’re looking at us like we have no right to be here.”
“Ignore them,” I said to her. “Most of them will die of old age by the end of the week, they’re so ancient.” She laughed at that, and we made our way over to the bar at the back of the room.
A few minutes later, there was all sorts of talk and chatter as the stars of the tour, Kombat Rock, entered the room. We leant back against the bar as they greeted the competition winners, smiled, posed for photos with them, and signed autographs. The fans and all the members of the press were ushered out, and I watched as the groupies started to circle the stars.
Rocco Taylor was the band’s lead singer. He was okay looking, but he had nothing on Sean or Marley. Jimmie and I watched as he worked the room, kissing some women, ignoring others, shaking hands with some of the suits, and hugging others. The first supporting act was on stage and their set was being played through the speakers in the room. They were actually not bad for a bunch of local kids, but not as good as Carnage, not by a long shot.
Suddenly, Rocco shouted out, “Can someone turn this crap down? It’s making my ears bleed.” Everyone laughed. Everyone except Jimmie and I that was.
What a dickhead!
I bet his band wasn’t that good when they were just fifteen. I took an instant dislike to him and the look on my face must have shown it, as his eyes skimmed past me and then swung back in my direction.
“So people, what have we here? Who are these two beautiful young ladies and why has no one thought to introduce them to me?”
“You’re too late, Rocco,” Anna the peroxide called out. “They’re already the property of Carnage. Unlucky.”
He looked across at Anna. “Who asked for your opinion, cunt?” He looked around at his entourage. “Somebody get that slut out of here.”
There was a flurry of activity, and then security appeared and asked Anna to leave. The air was blue with the language that she used while she was escorted from the room.
Rocco Taylor came over and stood right in front of us. “So, you beautiful ladies are friends with the boys from Carnage. They’re doing well, they’ll go far.”
He stroked his index finger up and down the back of my arm as he spoke. I wanted to tell him to stop, but he was Rocco Taylor, one of the biggest rock stars in the world.
“What’s your name, honey?” he asked me in his American drawl. I wasn’t sure where in America he came from, but he sounded like a cowboy to me.
I swallowed hard before answering, but my voice still came out squeaky as I replied, “George, this is my friend, Jimmie.”
“Ha ha, George and Jimmie. Well, lookie here boys, isn’t this just the prettiest George and Jimmie you have ever seen in your lives?”
Another bloke with long jet-black hair and tattoos came over and stood next to Rocco, leering at us as he chewed hard on some gum. He threw his arm around the lead singer’s shoulder. “Well, ain’t they a pair of pretty young things.”
I was actually shitting myself. I suddenly felt all of my sixteen years and eight months and not a day older. All of my usual bullshit and bravado had left me. These were real, live rock stars, who were used to getting whatever they wanted from women. I felt totally out of my depth, and I couldn’t help but notice that goose bumps were popping up all over my body and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end. And it was through fear, not because I felt any kind of desire towards this pair of freaks.
Rocco reached out and stroked his index finger up and down over my cheekbone. “Well, I hope those boys from Carnage are happy to share their toys, coz I sure would like to have a little play with you.”
I was suddenly pissed off, and I swiped his hand away. “I’m not any body’s toy. I’m Sean McCarthy’s girlfriend!”
The room fell almost silent while everyone watched the interaction. Who the fuck did he think he was? He wasn’t even good looking, and the other one, Wayne Allen or whatever his name was, I think he was the drummer, he was not only as ugly as fuck, but he stunk of body odour, too.
I was debating whether to tell him this when I heard Lennon call out. “Rocco, Wayne, leave my little sister alone, and the other one is my girl, so don’t even think about it.”
Before I had a chance to react, he grabbed me by the back of my head and kissed me on the mouth.
I pushed him away as hard as I could, and as I did, I heard Sean shout, “G, what the fuck are you doing?”
I looked horrified from Rocco to Sean. “You fucking animal, keep your hands off me!” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Rocco narrowed his eyes on me. Sean was now at his side and was looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Not her fault, Maca. She just saw the hot rock star and couldn’t resist. Best get a lead and keep your pet under control.”
What?
My mouth fell open, but no words came out. He said no more, just turned and walked away. What a complete and utter arsehole. I looked back at Sean, and I suddenly wanted to cry, but not there. I didn’t want to do it there in front of all those people and embarrass not only myself, but Sean and the band as well.
Sean looked me over. “What happened?”
I took a deep breath. “He kissed me, that’s what happened. He’s a creep, and I hate him.” Surely, Sean could see how upset I was.
“Fuckin’ hell, G. Can I not leave you alone for five minutes?”
“What? I didn’t do anything! He came over to me. I told him I was with you, but he kissed me anyway.”
“She didn’t do anything, Maca, not a thing.” Jimmie backed me up.
He let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you here. He’s a fuckin’ animal. Are you okay?”
No, I’m not.
“Wipe your mouth, your lipstick’s smudged.” He pointed to my lips when he spoke.
I wanted to go to the ladies’ room to fix myself up, but I was too scared to leave his side. I suddenly wished I was twenty-five and knew how to handle wankers like Rocco Taylor.
I’d fucking show him then!
Marley flew through the doors of the hospitality room. “Woo hoo, Maca, that’s some good shit man. Where’d you get that stuff?”
Sean instantly turned back to me. Great, tonight was just getting better and better. I’d never felt that there was an age difference between Sean and myself, but right then, I felt like I was just an immature little school girl and he was a famous rock star. Which really wasn’t that far from the truth, and it hurt, it hurt so much.
Chapter Six
Lennon found Jimmie and me a great place in the wings to stand and watch the show. The venue held around thirty thousand people and was already three-quarters full. I watched as the boys were given their guitars by the roadies and were wired up with mics and earpieces. The music that was playing went quiet and the lights went down.
Sean appeared in front of me and said, “I love ya, Georgia Rae, show us your tits.”
I didn’t hesitate. I pulled my top up and flashed him my new black lacy bra.
“Fuckin’ hell, babe. I’ve gotta go on stage with a hard-on now.” He kissed me again and was then pulled away by a stage manager and placed in position.
The opening song “Show Me” was from the new album, and so were the next two. After them, Sean addressed the audience and said how nice it was to be in Spain. A pair of knickers flew through the air and landed on the stage.
Sean ran over to Tom and grabbed a spare drumstick, then went back and picked up the red lace knickers with it. He held them up, hanging them from the drumstick. “Hey, Marley? Don’t you have a pair like this? Are these yours?”
Tom did a ‘b’dom cha’ sound on his drums to accompany Sean’s joke and the crowd laughed and whistled.
I heard a female voice call out in broken English, “Marry me, Maca,” and that evoked even more whistles.
“Sorry, ladies, but I’m taken.” He turned his head towards me and gave me a truly breathtaking smile. I felt so very proud in that moment. He’d made it! He’d gotten the crowd eating out of his hand. It was what he was born to do. He looked every inch the star out there, and he was mine and had been since I was eleven years old. I loved him beyond words.
This was love.
What we had was love.
The real, grown-up kind.
The band belted out all the songs from their up and coming album and threw in a few covers too. They thanked the crowd and ran off the stage as the audience went wild and called out for more. Sean came straight to me, wearing the biggest smile.
“Were we okay?”
“You were brilliant, just brilliant, babe. All these years of work are finally paying off. I’m so proud of you.” He pulled the towel off his shoulder that someone had put there and wiped the sweat from his face.
“Don’t move from this spot, we have to do a quick encore.” He gave me a sweaty kiss on the lips and was led back out.
I expected the rest of the boys to follow him, but they didn’t. The lights came back on and Sean was out on stage alone, sitting on a stool with his electric acoustic and my stomach flip-flopped. I thought if he sings “Georgia on My Mind”, I would cry and completely embarrass myself in front of all these rock star types. There was a massive cheer from the crowd as the lights came on. He plucked out a few notes and the whole place fell silent.
“I want your babies, Maca. Take me home and make me pregnant,” a lone female voice shouted from the crowd.
Sean laughed and shook his head, before looking up and smiling at the crowd. “Darlin’, do me a favour here. All you ladies in the crowd tonight have gotta appreciate the fact that I’m a one woman type of bloke and I love my girl. I’ve loved my girl since the very first day I set eyes on her, and back then, she was just a girl. But I’ve had the pleasure these past few years of watching her grow into an absolutely beautiful young woman, and as much as I love touring and playing in front of you lot every night, I’m counting down the days till I’m back in England and in her arms.”
There was a combination of boos and whistles from the crowd.
“This song people… This song is for all of you that are missing the ones you love. For all of you that, for whatever reason, can’t be with that one person you love most in the world. This song is for my girl. This song is for Gia. I love you, baby.”
As soon as I heard the sound effects of waves lapping and a boat’s horn, I knew what the song was, and I couldn’t stop the tears. Georgia was the obvious choice, but this, this was something he’d come up with all by himself. It was The Jam’s “English Rose”, and I couldn’t stop the tears. Now, I didn’t care who saw them.
Len was at my side with his arm around my shoulder and said into my ear, “He’s been practising this for days. He didn’t think his voice was good enough.”
I cuffed my runny nose and shook my head at Len. “He’s gotta be mad, he sounds better than Weller.”
“That’s what we’ve all been telling him, he just wanted it to be perfect for ya.”
I nodded my head. “It’s better than perfect, Len.”
We stood and watched together. Jimmie joined us, standing with her arm around Len’s waist. Sean stood and the rest of the boys joined him on stage so they could all take a bow. If this was the response they were getting as the supporting act in a foreign country, then I couldn’t wait to meet the crowd when they were top of the bill back in England.
Sean walked off the stage and straight to me. His eyes were wide and his pupils dilated. I really wanted it to be the buzz of being on stage that was causing it, but something told me that illegal substances were involved. It took a little bit away from the beautiful song he’d just sang for me, but I hid my disappointment and wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the floor in a hug.
“That was beautiful, thank you,” I said to him as he set me back down. He threw his arm across my shoulder and we made our way backstage, passing the boys from KR as they headed on stage. Carnage accepted congratulations on their set and wished the boys from KR good luck with theirs. We all headed into the hospitality room so the boys could grab a beer. The room was packed with even more groupies, and I felt inadequate and uncomfortable around these sexy, experienced women. I wanted to leave, but I understood Sean needed to be with the boys and to network. He’d barely taken a swig of his beer when someone from the record company spoke to Lennon and he in turn called the boys away. Sean passed me his beer.
“Stay with Jimmie and don’t accept a drink from anyone except the waiters. We have to go do some meet and greets and a few quick interviews, but then we’ll go back to the hotel. I promise. Okay?”
I nodded and smiled at him. The boys headed towards the door, and I was not oblivious to the eyes of the groupies on them.
I hate it!
I hated those women. Did they have no self-respect? I also hated that I had to share him with his fans right then. I was only there for three nights, and then I wouldn’t get to see him for another two weeks. God, I couldn’t wait for my exams to be over, and then I could do as I liked. My mum and dad wouldn’t be able to stop me.
Jimmie let out a big sigh from beside me. “Well, George, I think this is it. I think our boys are finally about to hit the big time. Can you believe it? You’re going out with a famous rock star.”
For some reason, I filled up with tears. I shook my head at her as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders when she noticed my distress.
“He’s not a famous anything. He’s just Sean… He’s just my boy.”
“Don’t get upset, George. Of course he’s still your b
oy, he always will be, but things are gonna change. You wait till the album is released and the UK leg of the tour starts. The whole of England will be talking about them. It’s what all these years of practice have been for. All the driving about in the transit. All the grotty pubs we’ve been to with them. All the rehearsals in your summerhouse. Now look at us, George. We’re driving about in a stretch limo and staying at the Ritz. Fuckin’ hell, we’re a couple of sixteen year old school girls and look at the life we’ll soon be leading.”
I smiled and nodded, pushing down the feeling of unease all this change was giving me.
We each ordered a vodka from the bar and stood there, making up stories about some of the groupies hanging around the room. All of them were obviously waiting for Kombat Rock to come off stage.
Len came back about forty minutes later to check on us. Apparently, there were more interview requests than they were expecting, so things were taking longer. As Lennon turned to leave, I watched when one of the suits from the record label stopped him and started saying something into his ear. They both looked over at me, not expecting me to be looking at them. My cheeks burned. Len looked down at the ground, their conversation was obviously about me, but why, I had no idea.
Half an hour later and the boys still weren’t back, and I was getting nervous. Kombat Rock would finish their set soon, and I didn’t want to be there without Sean when Rocco got off stage. I didn’t like him. He made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to make things difficult for Carnage with the lead singer of Kombat Rock. There was still two weeks left of the European tour and then a short break before the UK leg kicked off, which meant another four weeks of gigs they would be playing together. If I caused problems, Rocco could get them kicked off the tour. With the album being launched before the UK gigs started, it was the last thing the boys needed, so I just wanted to stay out of Rocco’s way as much as I could.
Their set was being played through the speakers, so I already knew they were just starting their encore. I looked towards the door, silently begging Sean, Marley, or Lennon to come walking through it. But no, it was Rocco amidst a lot of whooping and cheering and surrounded by a squealing group of nearly naked women and young girls. One of which had her legs wrapped around his waist while he carried her into the hospitality room. Her top was pulled down and he was sucking on her nipple. His eyes locked with mine when he stepped through the door. I quickly looked away, turned, and ordered Jimmie and myself another drink from the bar.
Carnage Boxset Page 7