His teeth came down on my nipple, hard—viciously almost—through the silk of my dress and I lost myself. I undid the zip of his trousers and reached inside. He was hot, throbbing, and huge. He didn’t use his fingers on me first because he didn’t need to, I was soaking wet for him. He pulled my knickers to the side and rammed into me. I cried out in pain and… in absolute pleasure. He lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around him. With each thrust, my head banged back against the door. On just the fourth thrust, I felt my orgasm start to grip me and everything began to tighten.
“Fuck, Kitten, look at me. Fucking look at me.”
I stared straight into his eyes as we fucked.
Hard.
Nasty.
Dirty.
Adulterously fucked against Cam’s office door.
“Give it to me,” he ordered. “Let me have this, just this. Please Kitten.”
His words broke my heart and sent me over the edge all at once.
He rammed roughly into me a few more times, and I thrust back, once, twice, and then I exploded. I made a noise that was not quite a scream, not quite a sob, not quite a moan, but a mixture of all three. With tears in his eyes, Cam came, spurting hot and deep inside me. I slid my shaking legs to the floor and immediately moved away from him, pulled down my dress, and stood and stared at him. My legs almost giving way.
“Oh, God… oh God, what have I done? What have I done?” I sobbed.
I grabbed my bag and left, but he was right behind me, still tucking himself in.
“This way… this way, Georgia.” He pulled me roughly by the arm back towards the emergency exit sign, and then he dragged me down a flight of stairs, stopping in front of a door.
“Let me have your number? We need to talk?”
“No. No number. We don’t need to talk, not about this, not ever. It should never have happened.” I was still breathing heavily, still crying and my words came out in a rush. I sounded hysterical.
What the fuck had I done?
“You fucking love me, Kitten! You know you do.” His hand raked through his long, dark hair. He must’ve been in his forties by now, but he was still so handsome and still so very alpha male.
“I know that I fucking know that, but it makes no difference. I’m with Sean, and I love Sean. This was a mistake that will never happen again. Stay away from me, Cam. Don’t try to contact me. Please, just stay away.”
Once again, I’d caused that defeated look on his face. I pushed past him and walked outside to the Range Rover where Dave and the girls were waiting. I slammed the door behind me.
“Let’s go,” I called out. We drove back to the penthouse in silence. It was the loudest silence I’d ever heard in my life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dave parked in front of the building and came up in the lift, seeing us inside. He headed home once we were safely delivered, but reminded us that he was on twenty-four-hour call if we needed him for anything.
Jim and Ash hadn’t said a word to me all the way home, and I was shitting myself that they knew what I had done with Cam. I needed to get into the shower. I smelt of sex! Dirty, filthy, adulterous, guilty sex and I smelt of Cam. I needed to wash him away.
“I’m going to shower,” I told the girls.
“George, wait, we need to talk to you,” Jimmie called out. I turned and finally looked at the pair of them.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, as nonchalantly as possible.
“George, I’m really worried. Len’s still not answering his phone, even Milo’s not answering.”
“Stop panicking,” Ash jumped in. “They’re probably drunk in some French bar or something and just can’t hear their phones.”
My stomach did a nervous backflip. The last time I couldn’t get hold of Sean was the night Haley White had made her accusations.
Haley the fucking whore!
My fists clenched at the thought of that slut. Despite venting my rage on her earlier, there was still so much more damage I would have liked to inflict. If Cam hadn’t been there to stop me, I probably would have. Cam and the enormity of what I’d done started to hit me. I swallowed down the bile with my tears, which Jimmie mistook for worry over the boys. I was worried, of course I was, but chances were that Ash was probably bang on with where they were and what they were doing. I had absolutely no right to feel angry at what they might be getting up to.
“Ash is probably right, Jim. It’s nearly morning now. They have an early flight home anyway, and the planes landing at City Airport, so they’ll be here by lunch. Let me have a shower and then we’ll make some more calls. We’ll phone the hotel and wake them up if we have to. Serves them right for not answering their mobiles.”
The second I stepped into the shower, I let my tears go and allowed my brain to start trying to make sense of my actions, but I couldn’t.
They made no sense.
Why would I do that? Why did I do that?
What a stupid, selfish thing to do.
If this ever got out!
No, I couldn’t even think along those lines. I had no choice but to put it all away. I needed to never think about it again and carry on. I loved Sean, I wanted to be with Sean, and nothing at all had changed there. My life was with Sean. We were planning on starting a family next year, and I wouldn’t let my actions tonight come in the way of that.
Then it hit me.
Oh fuck.
No!
How could I have been so stupid?
I’m not on the pill.
What if Cam’s got me pregnant?
What if, right at this minute, his sperm was heading towards my ovaries?
I grabbed the sponge and forced it up inside myself, twisting it around, trying to wash away every last trace of Cam from my body, but knowing full well that it may have been already too late. I may already have a piece of him and a piece of me forming, developing, and dividing inside of me.
I stood with my eyes closed and my face up to the ceiling, letting the water hammer down on the back of my head and hoping that it could wash away my shame and guilt. And if it didn’t, then I’d just have to live with the consequences of my unforgivable actions.
The door to the shower cubical opened, and I was startled out of my thoughts. Sean was standing naked in front of me, wearing only a grin and an enormous hard-on. Without saying a word, he leant in, sucked on my left nipple, and then looking up at me, he said, “Good morning, Georgia Rae. I fucking missed you, baby.”
I laughed, wrapped my arms around his neck, and breathed him in. “How are you here so early?” I asked.
“We just wanted to get home. Len rearranged the flight so we could fly right back after we played, but they didn’t have a pilot available, so we had to hang about for a bit. But we’re here now, six hours earlier than we should be. You not pleased to see me?” He was kissing my neck and my jaw while he spoke.
“Of course, I am.”
“Show me… Show me how pleased you are.”
So, through my silent tears and my shame, I did.
* * *
When I woke up later that morning, the sun was shining through the wide open windows, and a warm breeze was blowing on my bare back. I was lying across the bed, alone. As my feet hit the floor and I stood, I was amazed at how well I felt. No hangover at all, but my mouth was as dry as a nun’s Mildred. I headed for the kitchen in search of coffee, and from there, I could hear talking and laughter. As I walked out into the open plan living area. Ash was sitting on Jimmie’s chest, apparently demonstrating what I’d done to Whorely last night.
I paused for a second and then said in my croaky morning voice, “You punch like a girl, Ash. I hit her so much harder than that.” All eyes turned towards me.
Marley started a slow clap and said, “Here she is, our very own battle queen, She Ra. Well done, George, you’re all over the papers.”
I let out a big sigh and folded my arms across my chest. I’d pulled on Sean’s boxers and the T-shirt he was wearing
last night and nothing else.
I looked at Len, my sensible brother. “I’ve been onto the lawyers. They’re doing what they can with regard to damage control. You really do need to think about anger management classes, George,” he informed me.
“Like fuck she does,” Ash said. She climbed off Jim and came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “That bitch got what was coming to her. If G hadn’t smacked her, I would’ve.” She draped her arm around my shoulders. “She’s my fucking hero, and… she’s got the best legs and tits. If I didn’t love you, so much, Marls, I would totally bang your sister.”
“Fuck, baby, you’ve just made me totally hard. Is it wrong that the thought of you banging my sister has made me hard?”
“Yes,” we all said together. My eyes met Sean’s, and he held out his hand to me. I walked over to him, and he pulled me between his legs as he sat down on a stool.
“One night, G. I go away for one night and look at the trouble you get yourself into.” I felt nauseous and swallowed down the bile that rose up my throat. He had no idea exactly how much trouble I’d gotten into. No one did, except for Cam and me. The colour must’ve left my face as he added, “I’m only joking, babe, don’t stress about it. I just wish I’d been there to watch you give it to her.”
“I bet,” Marley added. “Bitch fights are the best. I always get horny when I watch them.”
I shook my head at my brother as Ash slapped him in the chest. “You are one sick individual, Marls. D’ya know that?” I asked him.
“Yep, just the way my woman likes me. Nothing wrong with getting excited about a bit of girl on girl action. It’s fucking hot, hey baby?” Ashley blushed and looked mortified.
“What?” Jimmie and I both shrieked together.
Ash just shrugged. “Oh, shut up you two. Don’t judge. We were smashed and this bird came on to me. Marls got all excited, so we just went to a hotel for a bit of fun.”
“A lot of Fucking fun, baby. It was a whole lotta fun.”
I was intrigued and oddly turned on. I leant back into Sean’s lap and realised he was too.
“But were you okay with that, Ash? Marley with another bird, I mean?” Jimmie asked.
“Oh she didn’t touch Marley. No fucking way was I having that. Although, they sort of did, but only coz they were both fighting over me,” she grinned and waggled her eyebrows as she spoke.
“Shit!” Sean exclaimed a bit too loudly.
“See, I told ya, Maca, it’s fucking hot. All that shit we’ve done before is bollocks compared to watching another bird with your misses. It was fucking incredible. Don’t get me wrong, I could never let a bloke go there, no fuckin’ way, but watching her with a bird was fuckin’ mind-blowing for both of us. Ay, babe?”
Ashley just nodded as she looked at us all, waiting for a response.
I turned and looked at Sean with raised eyebrows. “All the shit you’ve done with birds before?”
“G,” he sighed out the letter. “It was over ten fuckin’ years ago, and anyway, what about this?”
He reached behind him and held up one of the Sunday tabloids and there, half a page big, was a picture of me looking up at Cam. Alongside the headline: ‘Rock Star, Maca’s Wife Hooks Up with East End Bad Boy! Could This Mean Carnage for the Golden Couple?’
I felt sick. I could feel my cheeks burn, and my mouth was so dry I was incapable of speech, which was a good thing anyway as my brain was incapable of forming a sentence.
“Aw, Maca, she was bloody lucky to have TDH there last night. He calmed the whore down and stopped her from getting the ol’ Bill involved. G was only saying thank you to the bloke.” Sean looked past me to Ashley, eyebrows raised.
“TDH?”
Shit!
“Tall, dark, and handsome. Come on, Maca, you might be a man, but you’ve gotta admit, he’s a fucking good-looking bastard, even for an older bloke.”
Jesus! Ashley dug me out and then dropped me right back into an even bigger pile of shit every time she opened her mouth. I didn’t know whether to kiss her or slap her.
“That true?” Sean asked.
“What bit?”
“Did he stop her from calling the police?”
I nodded. “I had no idea he owned the place. I haven’t seen him in years. He probably wanted to avoid the police getting involved as much as I did.” My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I was worried that Sean would hear it, but he said no more.
Eventually, we all showered, dressed, and made our way over to my parents’ house for a Sunday BBQ in the sun. They had babysat all seven grandchildren, all night, but they didn’t look in the least bit phased when we arrived.
Bailey and his new girlfriend, Samantha, a glamour model, joined us. It was the August bank holiday weekend in England and none of us had to be anywhere on the Monday. It was a public holiday, so we all ended up staying up, laughing, talking, drinking, and getting stoned until the sun came up, enjoying our first time all together as a family in over a year.
I spent the next three weeks like a cat on hot bricks while I waited for my period to arrive. Carnage was getting ready to record a new album, so the boys headed to the studio at the end of our garden every day at around lunchtime. They sometimes finished up at four, but sometimes we didn’t see them until nine, and even then, Sean was usually off in his own world, working on lyrics. I felt a little bit lost. It seemed like ages since I’d had this much spare time, and each day dragged while I waited for my period to arrive. Having so much time to think brought me to a few conclusions.
I loved our house in Hampstead and never really noticed that we were so close to the city. However, I’d decided that when we did finally have a baby I wanted to be closer to my mum and the rest of my family, who all lived within a five mile radius of each other. So I’d started to look for houses for sale in the Essex countryside near where my parents lived. I’d left my number with a few agents and included a list of specifications of what we were looking for. Sean’s success had meant that we had bought homes in several countries. We were lucky, we didn’t really live a lavish lifestyle, but we had the money to do anything we wanted to in life. So telling an estate agent that we had no limit on our budget for a new home had them calling me almost daily.
“Hello.” I picked the phone up while I stood and tried to decide what to wear and what to do with my day on this boring, wet Wednesday.
“Good morning, may I speak to Mrs McCarthy?”
I’d always been wary when answering the phone. We’d been caught out before by journalists looking for a story and by crazy fans that had somehow gotten hold of our home number.
“Who’s calling?” I asked.
“It’s Vera White from Blackthorn White and Co Real Estate.” I liked Vera, she was very proper but swore like a trooper. She was in her fifties and had me laughing from our very first meeting when she told me that I was a lucky bitch and that despite being happily married, she would gladly jump my husband’s bones if he ever decided he needed some attention from an older woman. She was also one of the few agents who’d actually shown me through the houses that had ticked most of our boxes. Although, as yet, we still hadn’t found “the one”. Like our home in Hampstead, I knew that I’d just know when we found the right house.
“Hi, Vera. This is Georgia. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, hi, Mrs McCarthy. Look, I have a property that’s just come on the market that you may be interested in.”
“Okay, can you give me some details?”
“I sure can. It’s a completely refurbished Georgian style farmhouse. It’s set on twelve acres behind security gates and has high fences all the way around. It has six bedrooms all with bathrooms en suite, plus two more bathrooms, five receptions, a cinema room, a gym, a sauna, an indoor pool, a games room, paddocks, and stables for six horses. There is also a fully detached three bedroomed cottage on the grounds. I can email you a floor plan and some photos if you’re interested?” She asked hopefully.
�
�Wow, that’s a lot of house.”
“It is,” she replied. “And the best part of all is that it’s only three miles from your parents’ place.”
Now, I was definitely interested. “Okay, when can you get me through?”
“How does this afternoon sound?”
“Perfect, but I’m sorry, Vera, I’ll probably bring my mum along with me and not Sean. He’s busy in the studio right now, but if I like it, I promise I’ll bring him with me for a second look.”
“Good girl. Grab a pen and I will give you the address.”
Two hours later, I was walking through “the one” with my mum and Vera. It was absolutely perfect. Big and spacious but not sprawling, and there was plenty of room on the grounds for Sean to build a studio. I also loved the fact that it already had stables.
I’d just taken up riding lessons again and was desperate to own a horse of my own. My mum still had hers, but had gotten rid of mine years ago. I knew I wouldn’t be able to ride while I was pregnant, but I didn’t plan on being pregnant permanently. We walked through the house twice and let Vera give her spiel about the property. The original part of the building was built in the early eighteen hundreds, and it had been extended and renovated over the years, undergoing a major refurbishment ten years ago. It needed a more modern kitchen and the bathrooms needed updating, but other than that, it just needed a lick of paint and new carpets and flooring. I loved it. It felt right, it felt like home.
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