Carnage Boxset

by Jones, Lesley

  I burst into tears.

  “A son, G. We’re having a boy.” I nodded and smiled through my tears. “Thank you, thank you so much,” Sean said through his own tears.

  The doctor and nurse left us alone for five minutes while we pulled ourselves together, eventually returning to tell us that everything was perfect. We made an appointment to return in four weeks and headed home to share the news with our family. Sean actually didn’t wait until we got home. He was on the phone to Marley as soon as we were out of the building and then Lennon. Then, he insisted we stopped at my parents’ house, where he and my dad shared almost the entire contents of an eighteen-year-old bottle of Laphroaig whiskey. I ended up driving us home and putting a very drunk, but ecstatically happy, Sean to bed.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Thanks to the hot and steamy photo shoot we did before leaving for Portugal and the pictures taken of us on the beach, the press left us alone for the rest of summer.

  Over the years, Sean and I had done a few shoots together, but that was by far the raunchiest. The photographer had me wearing not a lot and draped all over Sean on a motorbike, wrapped around him in bed, and in various other poses where we looked as though we were having sex with our clothes on. They were all very tasteful. I must admit the whole thing got us turned on. So much so that the helicopter taking us to the airport cost Sean an extra thousand pounds as we were late getting ready after the unplanned sex we had, twice, once we got home.

  Best grand he ever spent in my book.

  On my birthday in late September, the boys played in a charity polo game. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny Sunday, and I chose to wear a long, flowing cheesecloth dress that I bought from a retro stall at Camden market a few weeks before. It was cream and very seventies in style and showed off my growing baby bump beautifully. I teamed it with a big floppy orange hat and a pair of espadrilles. I loved the boho look of the outfit.

  The boys had left earlier to do a sound check, so Dave picked me up with Ash and Jimmie already in the car. I got kisses, cuddles, and birthday wishes from both of them as I settled in.

  When we arrived, we were shown through to the VIP area where we were offered champagne. I obviously declined and asked for water. We were there about fifteen minutes before I spotted Marley appear from behind the stage and head over to us. Tom and Billy appeared next, followed by my husband. I watched him and waited for him to spot me. My heart was racing in my chest. He looked stunning and quite literally stole my breath away.

  “Fuck me, he’s hot.” I laughed as Ash whispered in my ear, stating exactly what I was thinking. He was wearing a pair of leather trousers and a V-neck T-shirt that wasn’t quite long enough and showed off just enough belly and the start of that V thing he had going on that drove me absolutely insane.

  “Put your tongue away, G. You get to go home and tap that for dinner later.”

  I smiled as Sean stopped, spoke, and shook hands with various people.

  “I tapped that for breakfast, and I want it again for lunch.”

  We had spent the morning having birthday wake-up sex, followed by birthday shower sex. My libido hadn’t waned a bit during my pregnancy, and my belly wasn’t big enough to get in the way yet, so we were enjoying every inch of each other as often as possible before the baby arrived.

  “Maca for breakfast has gotta be better than a Macbreakfast any morning.”

  I smiled at Ash, my dirty-minded sister-in-law. Some people might be offended by someone else perving over their husband, but I knew how much she loved my brother, despite her comments about Sean.

  “Yep,” I said to her. “A MacGasm is definitely the way to start the day. In fact, I can’t get out of bed until I’ve had multiple MacGasms.”

  Ash spat champagne everywhere, and we both shrieked with laughter, causing the best of British society to turn and look at us.

  Sean was talking to a footballer I recognised, and I watched as the footballer’s wife/ girlfriend/ date or whatever, twirled her hair around her finger as she looked my husband over like she wanted to lick him from top to toe and stop for a while somewhere around his middle. As if he sensed my eyes on him, he looked up and met my gaze. His head tilted back as he looked me up and down, and I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. He licked his top lip before replying to something the footballer’s companion/whore/slut/ whatever, said but didn’t take his eyes off me. He held out his hand and gestured slightly with his head for me to join him, keeping his eyes on mine as I made my way over. I took his hand when I reached him, and he pulled me in, kissing me full on the mouth.

  “You look stunning, wife,” he said into my ear.

  “You look totally fuckable husband. What are you trying to do to my blood pressure?”

  The footballer laughed, but his thing didn’t.

  “Tony, this is my wife, Georgia.” I put my hand out and shook his. “Sorry, darling, what was your name?” Sean continued, and I couldn’t have loved him more.

  “Melinda, but everyone calls me, Mel,” she squeaked.

  I smiled sweetly, but didn’t offer my hand.

  “Melinda, my wife, Georgia McCarthy.” I nodded and smiled some more, attempting not to combust as Sean rubbed his hand over my bum through my dress. I turned my head to him and smiled.

  “What time you on?” I asked him.

  “In about an hour. How you feeling?”

  “I feel fine.”

  He nodded at me as he rubbed his hand over my belly and left it to rest there.

  “Congratulations on the baby, do you know what you’re having?” Footballer Tony asked.

  We did, but it wasn’t public knowledge, and we both said no together and laughed. We politely said our goodbyes and made our way over to the rest of the band. I gave my brother, Tom, and Billy a cuddle, and everyone wished me a happy birthday and commented on my bump. Sean spent the next half hour with his hand protectively over my belly as people came over and talked and congratulated us. I couldn’t believe how much our son responded to his daddy’s voice, and every time I felt a little kick, Sean looked at me with the most breathtaking smile on his face. We didn’t say a word to anyone. It was just between us—communication between our son and us.

  We had first felt him move when Sean had gotten back from America. I thought that I’d felt a few fluttering’s during the week Sean was away. But as soon as he started talking to me in the car on the way back from the airport, I’d felt a definite kick and grabbed Sean’s hand and placed it on my belly.

  “Say something, let him know your home. He’s missed you.”

  Sean’s eyes had shone with tears, as he said, “Hello, little man, hope you’ve been a good boy for your mum while I’ve been away?”

  The rapid movements actually made me feel quite sick, but I said nothing, loving the sensation because of the look of absolute pure joy and love on Sean’s face. Since then, we’d spent endless hours lying on the floor or the bed at home with Sean singing or talking to my belly as our little boy kicked and squirmed inside me. We knew he had to stay there until he was cooked and ready to be born, but we were beside ourselves with excitement and couldn’t wait till we could finally meet him.

  Len appeared as if by magic. My handsome, organised, big brother and Manager of Carnage. “Ten minutes,” he let the boys know. He kissed Jim, then Ash, and then turned to me. “Look at my baby sister, happy birthday, you look stunning, George. Pregnancy definitely suits you. I can’t believe how much that belly has grown in a couple of weeks.” He kissed my cheek.

  “Don’t she look fucking gorgeous, Len,” my husband said from beside me.

  I blushed furiously, and I felt like the eyes of the whole place were on me.

  Sean kissed my cheek. “Sorry, baby, didn’t mean to embarrass ya. I’m just so proud of my beautiful wife, and the fact that the little person inside your belly was put there by me.”

  I didn’t respond at first. I couldn’t. I knew I would cry if I spoke. I swallowed down the ball of
emotion clogging my throat, and I whispered to him, “I love you, Sean, so much.”

  He smiled down at me. “I know you do, but I still love you more.”

  “Never.” I smiled and shook my head.

  “Right people, time please.” Len clapped his hands.

  Sean kissed me. “Stand where Milo tells ya, I want to be able to see you, and don’t leave his side.”

  I smiled and shook my head. “Go, I’ll be fine.”

  There were about two thousand people at the event, and many of them were now crowded around the stage, waiting to watch Carnage perform. Len had gone with the boys, and Jimmie and Ash grabbed each of my hands and led me out of the marquee to where Milo was waiting for us with two more security staff from the event. They led us through the crowd to the front of the stage to where there was a small sectioned off area. A couple of people I didn’t know were already standing in the space.

  “Right there, George.” Milo pointed to a spot that had been sprayed on the grass in bright yellow.

  “What?” I was confused.

  “You need to stand right there, divvy,” Ash said and moved me towards the spot by my shoulders.

  “‘Scuse us, love,” she said to the lady in pearls standing next to the yellow marking. “But this spot is taken.”

  The three of us burst into laughter, even Milo laughed at Ashley’s joke. He then proceeded to make everyone, other than us three girls, move out of the sectioned off area.

  “Why do I have to stand here? I don’t understand?” I asked anyone that wanted to listen.

  “Sean’s orders. He’s worked out where he can see you best from the stage, so he insisted the organisers let him have this area marked and sectioned off with extra security so he knows you’re safe.”

  “You’re fucking kidding me?” I asked in disbelief.

  Milo shook his big head. “Nope, boys got it bad, George. He was worried that you would get pushed about, and he wanted you to be able to watch from out here and not the wings. Your safety is his priority at all times, and right now, you have precious cargo on board, remember?” My hands instantly found their way to my belly. My son had stopped doing acrobatics and was resting quietly. I turned back towards the stage when I heard a guitar twang a few times. The boys were having their guitars adjusted by the roadies and sound crew in the wings. Then suddenly they were on stage, and the crowd went wild, well as wild as posh people get over a band.

  Sean looked right at me and winked. Despite the years we’d been together, my knickers still melted at the sight of him on stage. “Good afternoon, Surrey. Thank you for joining us on this beautiful day and donating to a very worthy cause. Now, let’s get you all loosened up.”

  The band crashed out “Wrong” and “Come for me”, which were two of their earlier hits. Then they played stuff from their latest album. They took a few minutes to grab a drink, and when they came back to the stage, I noticed Sean had swapped to his acoustic guitar and a stool had been set up for him to sit on. He sort of sat and stood, leaning back against it with one foot resting behind him. He didn’t say a word, as he looked out over the crowd, and they began to quiet.

  “I nearly turned this gig down today, people.” There were boos from the crowd and people calling various things out. “Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to donate and contribute in some way to this very worthy cause.” The charity was to help young drug addicts start a new life once they had been through rehabilitation and gotten themselves clean. It was one the band had played benefits for on a number of occasions. “The problem was, you see, the date. Today is a very special day for me. Today is the day the woman I love, the woman who owns me, mind, body, heart, and soul was born. Today is my wife’s birthday.”

  Oh God, I swear, I will kill him later.

  There were cheers and whoops from the crowd, and I just knew everyone was looking. I didn’t take my eyes from Sean. He winked at me and shrugged. I looked around and smiled and waved, my cheeks feeling like they were about to ignite. I tilted my head slightly so that the wide brim of my big floppy hat covered my face.

  “So you see people, you all need to thank my wife because when I told her about today, she told me that I couldn’t turn the offer down, she said, ‘There will be other birthdays that we can celebrate later. The charity is more important’.” He looked across the crowd as they cheered some more, and then he looked back at me. “So, what you lot need to do is wish my wife a Happy Birthday as a show of thanks for letting me be here today.” Sean then proceeded to lead the band and the crowd in a rendition of Happy Birthday, dear, Georgia. I inwardly groaned, but smiled and said thank you continuously. When it was finally over, Sean said, “Happy Birthday, Georgia, this is for you”.

  Marley started playing softly, and Billy joined in as Tommy came in quietly on his drums, Sean began to sing, in that beautiful, soft raspy voice of his.

  “Our eyes they met, and we were done; no one else felt the effect,

  No one else knew from that moment, we would always be one.

  Now, after loving you for all of these years,

  Sharing some heartbreak and some tears.

  I no longer know where I begin or where you end.

  You’re my lover, my life, my wife, and best friend,

  And I don’t know where you begin or where I end.

  Our life, our love, the bond that we share.

  It means nothing; it’s pointless if you’re not there.

  They broke us once, they kept us apart,

  But we fought, and we found a way back into each other’s hearts.

  And just look at us now, stronger than ever, and soon we’ll be three.

  We’ve made someone new, a mixed up bundle of love,

  Made from a little bit of you and a little bit of me.

  You’re my lover, my life, my wife and best friend,

  And I don’t know where I begin or where you end.

  You’re my lover, my life, my wife and best friend.

  Now with that little bit of you and me that grows in your belly.

  The story of us will never end.”

  I was stunned into silence for a few moments, along with the rest of the crowd. Ash and Jim both had their arms around me while we watched Sean climb down from the stage, hop the barrier, and walk towards me. Hands reached out and patted his back, but his eyes didn’t leave mine.

  Suddenly he was there, right in front of me. “I love ya, Georgia Rae. Happy Birthday.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me as close as we could get, and kissed me with everything he had. All the while, our baby kicked his belly through my belly.

  Chapter Thirty

  On a freezing cold December afternoon, we left Richard Curtis’s office to drive to the nursery shop along the high street near where I used to live. I’d gone there because I knew they produced custom-made baby equipment. I hadn’t told Sean, and I couldn’t wait for him to see our baby boy’s pushchair I’d had specially made.

  The shop had called that morning to say that my order was ready, and since I’d had an appointment in Harley Street that afternoon, I told them that we would call in on our way home.

  Milo was driving us. It had snowed the night before, and despite it only being two in the afternoon, it was already getting dark and the ground was starting to freeze over again.

  My check up with the doctor had gone well. The baby and I were in excellent health, I was now thirty-six weeks pregnant, and was as healthy as a horse.

  By the time we got through the Friday afternoon London traffic, it was four o’clock when we reached the shop. Milo dropped us off and then went in search of a parking spot.

  Sean loved the pram. It was custom made in the band’s trademark shade of red with a black trim and had “My Daddy Rocks” embroidered on the front. It looked more like a sports car than a pram, and I could see by the look on Sean’s face that he couldn’t wait to push our son around in it.

  “Do you like it?
You don’t think it’s a bit much for a little baby?”

  He threw his arm over my shoulder as we headed out of the store. “Babe, it’s perfect. I love it, and anyway, nothing's too much for our kid.”

  We had spent half the time in the shop having our photo taken and Sean signing autographs, but we didn’t mind. Sean pulled me in closer as we stepped out of the shop. It was dark and snowing again.

  “Hold on to me, G, that ground is icy. Where the fuck is Milo?”

  We looked up and down the street, but couldn’t see the Range Rover. Sean pulled out his phone. “Where are you man? It’s fucking freezing out here and slippery as fuck.” He looked up and down the street again. “No mate, still no spaces.” He looked at me. “No, it’s too slippery, pull round and double park. We’ll just walk out and meet ya.” He put the phone back in his pocket and wrapped his arms around me. “He’s had to park miles away, but don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.”

  I snuggled in as I watched an elderly couple climb into an old style Mercedes behind us. I smiled as the man held the door open for his wife. He must’ve been about a hundred, and judging by the way he shuffled around his car, he probably felt it in this cold weather too. I watched as he seemed to take forever to start the car up while he spoke to his wife. He looked in his rearview mirror, but instead of reversing into the road, the car shot forward.

  I don’t think I felt it hit me but I think I screamed Sean’s name. The roar of the engine was so loud it was the only sound that I heard. Sean’s eyes were on mine as we both flew through the air. The car followed us as we spun sideways, and I landed hard on my side. Red hot pain seared right through me. Sean came down hard right beside me, and the car came to a stop next to him. That was what I thought was happening, but I wasn’t sure, I wasn’t sure if any of it was even real.

  Everything was very quiet for a few seconds. I looked at Sean, his face was level with mine, his eyes were wide, and he gave me a small smile. “I love you, Georgia Rae, show us your tits,” he whispered, and then he closed his eyes—his beautiful, brown eyes, with their flecks of gold.