Carnage Boxset

by Jones, Lesley

  “Cameron would never let that happen.” Oh, I so want to tell her where Cam is right now. Georgia of just a few years ago would’ve had no hesitation, but I actually use the brain that I was blessed with and keep calm and think about my answer. The last thing I want is for her to do a runner with the baby.

  “No, Tamara, you’re probably right. Cam loves his little boy and only wants to do right by him, and as long as the best thing for Harry is to be with you, then that’s where Cam will make sure he stays. Now leave me, Cam and our life alone, and go and make one of your own.”

  I hang up before I can say any more. My temper and brain-to-mouth function have clearly improved, but I really don’t want to test their ability any more today.

  I tell Scott to drive me to the family court where Cam is and arrive just as he walks out. He stops in his tracks as soon as he sees me and I’m not entirely sure what it is that passes through his eyes as he looks at me.

  “Did you get it?”

  He nods. “They’ve ordered a full hearing next Friday, but until then, he stays with us.” I let out a deep sigh of relief. After my conversation with Tamara earlier, there is no way that woman should be left in charge of a baby.

  “Thank fuck for that.” He raises his eyebrows slightly but doesn’t mention my swearing. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll try really hard not to do that around him.” He gives me a small smile and I can’t stand to not be near him for a second longer. I give him no choice in the matter as I step towards him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him like my life depends on it, which it pretty much does.

  “Let’s go and fetch your son,” I tell him on the steps of the courthouse.

  * * *

  As we sit in the back of my car on the drive over to the facility, Cam receives a call from the doctor on duty telling him that Tamara’s blood and urine samples have just come back as positive. I had a feeling she was probably off her chops when she called me earlier, but I haven’t yet told Cam about that conversation and decide to remain quiet for now while he decides what to do. He calls Eli, his lawyer, to let him know and leaves him to make any new arrangements that need to be put in place.

  By the time we arrive, the police are in attendance as the staff are worried about Tamara’s reaction when she hears the results from her tests and that Harry’s being taken from her.

  I wait in the car. I don’t like the woman, but I feel for her. I don’t want to witness what she’s about to go through and I don’t want her to think that I’m there to gloat. Who knows what will happen in the future? She’s Harry’s mum, and whatever role I’m about to play in his life, I may or may not have to have some kind of relationship with Tamara.

  I wait inside the car for a while, then I start to feel panic setting in, so I call Jimmie and tell her what’s going on.

  She and Ash saw Doctor Shepherd this week and the babies are due on the twenty-seventh of February. Ash obviously complained that it would mean a dry Christmas for her, but still had a little cry with me when we spoke about it. Obviously blaming her mood swings on her hormones.

  The doors of the rehabilitation unit slide open and Cam comes toward me carrying a small bundle wrapped in a blanket. He stops in front of me, his eyes all over my face.

  “Georgia, I’d like you to meet my son.” He looks down at the bundle, whose face I can’t quite see. “Harry Joseph King, I’d like you to meet the love of my life, Georgia Rae Layton.” He passes me the baby. He’s small and has dark hair like Cam’s. I know all of this because I’ve seen so many photos, but actually holding him, here in my arms, he feels so tiny. Looking down into his perfect little face, he looks so much like Cam and I love him instantly.

  * * *

  The next few hours are a whirlwind. Cam called Benny on the drive over to pick up the baby and told him to meet us there with a car seat so we could get him home. I call my dad and ask him to go over to our place and set up the cot that we still hadn’t done. We thought we had another week before we would have the baby with us. By the time we arrive home a couple of hours later, my parents, Jimmie, Ash and Sam are all at my house.

  Sam is due to give birth to a little girl any day, but despite this, she has helped my mum, dad and sisters-in-law in organising Harry’s nursery. The cot has been put together, but a Moses basket and stand has been set up next to our bed, because my mum and sisters-in-law know me so well, and knew I wouldn’t be happy with the baby not sleeping in our room until he got a bit bigger.

  Thanks to a quick shopping trip by Mum and donations from his Aunties, Harry had everything a baby could possibly want, bottles, steriliser, formula, bottle warmer, nappies and so much love and attention it was untrue.

  I barely slept a wink Friday night. We were both due at West Ham’s football ground at nine for the first of the charity football games that were going to be played over the next two days.

  My mum was an absolute legend and turned up at our house at six, she looked after the baby and let us get ready. Cam didn’t want to let Harry out of his sight as Tamara had apparently gone missing and he was terrified about where she might show up. My mum, being the expert that she was, packed everything that was needed for the baby for the entire day and stayed with Cam and I as we travelled from venue to venue, event to event and from interview to interview. By the time Sunday night came around and the grand finale had ended, we had raised over ninety million pounds. Harry had been held and passed around by no less than five supermodels, two England football captains, an Ashes winning cricket captain, two Oscar winners and about twenty members of rock royalty.

  Everyone involved was exhausted, but we still managed to keep awake, running on pure adrenalin. We even attended the after party at one of Cam’s clubs until five Monday morning. Cam had finally allowed my parents to take Harry, or H as he had become known over the weekend, back to our house, where they would stay, along with Benny and Scott.

  * * *

  Cam, Jimmie and I sit in a row, all holding hands, all staring at the screen as the doctor glides the ultrasound wand over Ashley’s belly.

  Jimmie has just had her twelve week scan and we got to see the healthy heartbeat of our baby and now it’s Ashley’s turn. The all too familiar whoosh and boom, boom, boom cause my heart to ache. This sound, bringing back such bittersweet memories for me.

  Jimmie is the first to comment at what appears before us on the screen. All she says is “Oh,” to have both Cam and Ash saying in unison, “What’s wrong?” I look from Cam to Ash, to the Doctor, waiting on him to comment first.

  “Well, we always knew this was a possibility,” is all he says. Ashley closes her eyes as she grips my hand.

  “George, please tell me what the fuck’s wrong.” I look at the doctor, who simply nods his head.

  “Yep, definitely two in there.” Ashley opens her eyes and stares right at me, then at Cam.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me, twins. I’m having your twins. Two of him are growing inside me. How come she gets away with just one and I end up with two. For fuck’s sake, I’m gonna be as big as the 498 to Romford. This is so not fair. King, you can pay for my tummy tuck.” I turn to Cam. He’s staring with his mouth slightly open. I nudge him, and he turns and looks at me.

  “Twins?” is all he says. I smile and nod my head. “Fuck, Kitten, four, we had none, now there’s four.” He throws his head back and gives me his big Cam laugh.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  I wake to the sensation of what I assume are teeth biting into the top of my thigh. I look down at Cam, now sucking on the inside of my leg.

  “Happy birthday, Kitten,” he says as he starts to make his way up my body, planting little kisses as he goes. He reaches my mouth and kisses me gently, trying to force his tongue inside.

  “No, Cam, I have morning breath.” He pushes himself up on his arms so he’s sort of doing a press up over the top of me.

  “I kissed you once when you’d just thrown up all over the back seat of my car. Your morning breath real
ly doesn’t bother me.” I stroke across the corded muscles of his arms. He’s so fit and toned and sexy and hot, and mine. “If you won’t kiss me, let me stick my cock in your mouth,” he says quite seriously.

  “I thought it was my birthday?”

  He winks at me. “It is and allowing you to suck my cock is my gift to you.”

  I roll my eyes at him. “Wow, thanks, where do I go for a refund.”

  “That’s not nice, Kitten.”

  “Neither is sucking your cock. It makes me gag. It’s too big. Your cock’s built for fucking, not sucking.”

  He throws his head back and give me his big Cam laugh. “You have such a way with words, Kitten. I love the fuck outta ya.” And just like that, he slides inside me.

  We spend the next half an hour having early morning birthday sex. We had dinner out last night and stayed over at the Mandarin Oriental in London’s Knightsbridge. My parents had stayed at our place to look after Harry and we are both keen to get back home to see him.

  I’ve never had a living, breathing child of my own, so I can only gauge my love for Harry on what I felt for baby M and Beau, and what I feel for my other three unborn children, which equates to complete and utter, unconditional love. That little boy may not be of my flesh and blood, but I couldn’t love him any more if he was and neither could my family. They really couldn’t care less about his genetics. As far as they are all concerned, he is one of ours and is loved as such.

  We haven’t heard from Tamara since the day we brought Harry home with us. Cam has continued to pay money into her bank account and withdrawals have been made throughout London and various parts of Europe. He knows she’s probably spending the money on drugs, but he’s not happy to think that she’s out there without a penny. At the end of the day, she’s Harry’s mum and Cam will always do right by her, and I honestly have no problem with that.

  We call my mum and have a quick chat to my parents and H, who at four months old, has very little to say for himself.

  I take a shower, and when I step out to the living area of the huge royal suite, breakfast is waiting for me.

  “God, I’m starving,” I say to Cam, who’s staring out of the window with a coffee cup in his hand. He turns toward me with what I can only describe as a combination of fear and concern on his face, and I suddenly feel too hot and too cold all at once as panic starts to creep in. “What’s wrong?”

  His eyes widen. “Nothing, why?”

  “You look really worried.” He gives me a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and I feel like icy cold fingers are sliding around my heart.

  “Sit down and eat your breakfast, Kitten.” He heads over to the table and we both sit down. I watch him as he pours me a coffee, still feeling a little bit unsure. I look down at my plate piled with scrambled eggs and take a mouthful. I look up at Cam, who’s staring at me.

  I swallow what I have in my mouth and say to him, “Okay, you’re starting to freak me out now. What the fuck’s wrong?”

  He laughs, nervously this time. “Nothing’s wrong, Kitten. Eat up.” I take another mouthful and that’s when I see it. Buried beneath the pile of eggs is the distinct blue colour of a Tiffany box. I put down my fork and look across at Cam, who right about now is a colour not too dissimilar to the box, perhaps a shade more green.

  I pick up my fork and scrape all of the egg from the box and give it a wipe with my napkin.

  “I wanted to put the…” He stops whatever it was he was about to say. “Nothing, doesn’t matter.” I take a deep breath and open the box. Inside sits the most beautiful emerald cut diamond ring. The main diamond is surrounded by lots of smaller ones and the band of the ring is made up of diamonds. It’s stunning.

  Before I get a chance to speak, Cam slides down onto the floor in front of me and takes my hands in his. The fact he has got himself in such a state over this makes me want to just say yes and put him out of his misery before he throws up everywhere, but I decide to hear what he has to say.

  The man who’s usually described in the papers as an East End bad boy and night club Lothario is on his knees in front of me. He takes the ring from the box and looks at it for a few moments and then brings his eyes to meet mine.

  “I’ve tried to think of a million different ways to do this. I’ve tried to think of every flash, fancy way that I could impress you, and then we were sitting at home last Sunday and I watched you with Harry, trying to get him to eat all those veggies you tirelessly steam and mash up for him. I watched as you spooned it into his mouth and then laughed as he spat it out. You had as much on your face as he did on his, and watching all of that made me realise, you don’t do flash or fancy. You’re not fussed about unique or being impressed. After everything we’ve been through, the lives that we’ve already lived. What we have survived to get to this point brought me to the conclusion that all that matters, is you, me and our family. I love you, Kitten. I’ve loved you for a very long time. Whether we’ve been together or apart I’ve loved you, and I know that tradition dictates that I get down on one knee and do this, but you deserve so much more than one knee. So here I am, in front of you now, on both knees, asking you, would you please make me the happiest man alive and do me the honour of becoming my wife?” He reaches up and uses his thumb to brush away a tear from my cheek.

  “Yes, Tiger, of course I’ll marry you.”

  * * *

  As we head down the lane to our home, I can see Jimmie’s car at the gates. She’s standing at the intercom box holding her phone. We pull up behind her and both get out of the car.

  “Your box is all bashed up, G,” she says with a smile. “This box not that box.” She gestures between my legs. “Although, after spending the night in a hotel with Mr TDH and his famous nine-inches, I don’t suppose that box is looking too pretty, either.”

  Cam ignores her comments and looks at the mangled mess of wires hanging next to the electronic gates, gives her a kiss and says, “What the fuck has happened here?”

  “I was just gonna call Frank to see if he could open the gates from the inside,” Jimmie states.

  “Yeah, do that. I’ll make a call and get someone out to look at this. Probably kids, little shits,” Cam says.

  Jimmie calls my dad and as I move around her car to get back into mine, I see her. She looks beautiful in an emerald green maxi dress, her auburn hair blowing back from her face in the breeze. Instinctively, I step in front of Jimmie. Tamara’s standing with her legs wide apart and has two hands on a gun, pointed at me. I don’t know at what point Jimmie notices her, but she stops talking on the phone and says very quietly, “Fuck.” Cam is leaning over the wires hanging out of the wall, slightly to the left of me. Out of my peripheral vision, I see him stand and say, “Well the little fuckers—”

  When I watched Cam shoot Terry Riley in a pub car park all those years ago, I realised that guns don’t really go bang. They go pop more than bang and all I can think right now is… that gun just went pop. I wonder why people say bang when really they go pop?

  And then I hear it again, pop, and I watch as blood and bones and brain fly out the back of Tamara’s head and she falls in an untidy mess on the ground. Harry will ask me about this moment one day, and I will have to tell him. What will I say? I can hear Jimmie on the phone from either behind or beside me. I don’t know exactly which. I don’t want to turn my head. I don’t want to see what’s going on around me, so I just keep looking straight ahead. If I don’t turn my head, I can’t see him. If I can’t see him, then none of this is real.

  “Georgia!” Jimmie screams. I ignore her. “Georgia Rae Layton, get the fuck down here and help me.” I don’t want to, because when I look, everything will change. My world will change. Life will change. Everything that’s been good will come to an end.

  My life was once black. I managed to get it to a lightish shade of grey on the odd occasion, but it mostly remained black, and then Cam came along; he came back into my life and very slowly he brought back the light blues and then
the whites. He’d done that by rebuilding my heart. He’d been patient and loving and kind, and brick by brick, he’d done the best job possible of giving me back my heart. It would never be whole. It would always be a little jagged, and there would always be a piece of it that was irreparable. The part that would forever belong to Sean and our children. But, from the pile of broken bricks and rubble I’d been left with, Cam had done an amazing job of rebuilding my heart and filling it with love, light and hope, and now, now what? If I turn my head to the side and see what it is I think I’m going to see, I know that it will be too much. I’m just not strong enough, so as Jimmie screams and cries, “George, help me, fucking help me. I can’t stop the blood. I need something to stop the blood.” I shake my head.

  “No, Jim, no. I can’t. Not again. I can’t do this again.”

  I stand and stare straight ahead as I listen to the music coming from Jimmie’s car. Her door is wide open and an old Bread song is playing and David Gates is singing that he would give up everything he owns and I would too, anything and everything, but I refuse to turn around and look at my world once again come crashing down around me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  I stare at the bricks on the wall, counting them, wondering how many bricks it had taken Cam to rebuild my heart. If Cam is gone, my heart will be irreparable. I will go on. I have to. I have four children relying on me, but never again will I allow myself to love or be loved, unless it is by my children or family.

  Chaos surrounds me. My dad appears from behind the gates and sirens blare in the distance, getting closer. The image of what Tamara did to herself is burned into my retinas and I silently hope and pray that Harry never asks me about it.