Mister Toebones

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by Brooks Haxton


  with little chirps of joy, sweet thing—now

  gone that dark way none comes home.

  For this I curse you, dark one, swallower

  of beauty: for the dark deed which has made

  my girl’s eyes red with weeping.

  Catullus, Carmen VIII

  Enough, Catullus! No more pleading!

  What you thought went wrong went

  wrong. When days were sunnier,

  and when a girl was willing, you made love.

  You loved her, let’s just say, as none

  may evermore be loved. You gave her

  all you had. She laughed, and what she gave

  you took, and it was brilliant. Now,

  when she wants nothing more, your

  pleading least of all, stand firm. Say:

  Goodbye, girl. Catullus is unmoved.

  He does not care now what you do.

  If no one cares, it serves you right,

  you bitch! Now see who finds your teasing

  sweet, who begs for it, who praises it,

  who kisses you, who whispers you

  your name…And whose lips are you biting?

  Not mine. No: Catullus is unmoved.

  Essential Tremor

  for Daniel Moriarty

  The black and gold stitch

  from the upper gill of a brook trout

  to the middle ray of the tail fin,

  you once told me, houses hair cells

  sensitive to the flow of the stream.

  And the rest…that dark green

  swath on the flank,

  the spots of ocher, stipples

  blood red ringed with cornflower blue…

  the whole thing shimmering

  with the most delicate scales,

  to the fisherman’s eye

  is a revelation. You too,

  after you led me down at dusk

  into a stream so cold

  it made my ankles hurt,

  and after we caught one each,

  just big enough to keep

  and cook on a little fire we made

  at the foot of the mountain

  under the Dog Day stars, you too,

  when you smiled, freckles by firelight

  trembling on the back of your hand.

  To Josephine Chamberlain Ayres Haxton

  From the end of the gravel road

  we walked down into the woods

  to look for a swimming hole in the creek.

  You kept scanning the ground for trilliums

  you said you wanted to plant

  on the way to the house

  where your father spent his childhood.

  In the gulley we saw handprints

  of opossums, and the pad marks from raccoon

  and fox and rabbit, scribbled over

  with mouse and bird tracks.

  There were chanterelles at the foot of a beech trunk,

  and in the cleft of a root a copperhead

  rearing to strike, bands on her back

  almost as orange as the mushrooms.

  She came sidewinding straight at you, rattling

  her tail in the fallen beech leaves, belly

  big with eggs about to hatch inside her.

  If I had written you this when you could read,

  you might have reminded me that your friend

  Bert came on our walk to the creek. I loved Bert.

  She was delighted, as usual, by the woods and you.

  It was a good day, though we found no swimming hole

  or trilliums. None of us got bitten by the snake.

  The creek lay sunlit in the deep woods,

  brilliant, rippling over the sand and gravel,

  with clear pools here and there to the knee,

  where crawdads swam with little bream and catfish.

  Under the Searchlight of a Robot Sub

  Where the whale lay

  on the floor of the canyon

  hagfish came to feed in the dark

  with shrimp and crab and sea pig.

  Boneworms sent roots

  into the whale oil

  at the core of the bone.

  Plumes grew,

  microscopic mates inside them

  shedding sperm over the eggs

  which drifted nowhere

  by ten thousands, settling,

  some of them, onto another

  whale fall miles away.

  Inside a ship

  with decks lit by the sun,

  in the dim light

  of a control room,

  human brains in bone casements,

  male and female, watched

  the plumes pink

  in the glow of their screens.

  They watched—excitedly

  scuttling over the keyboards,

  tipping the joysticks,

  with their delicate,

  pink-palmed, flexible hands.

  The Loving Essence of the Duckmole

  Ornithorhynchus anatinus, a.k.a. tambreet, mallagong, & boonaburra

  The jimmialong, tail plump with fat,

  electrosensors tingling in his bill,

  the swivel in his hips more like

  the bearded dragon’s than like mine,

  his four-tipped penis at the ready,

  is not cute. He is himself. In courtship

  having dug two tunnels, his and hers,

  which she can close to lay and tend

  their clutch of leathery, soft eggs,

  by night he swims and sweeps

  his bill where muck sparks everywhere

  with insect larvae, worms, and crayfish

  which the local crayfishers call yabbies.

  A puppy-like, warm-blooded

  duck-in-a-fur-coat seems, much

  as Ronald Reagan’s smile, or Bundy’s

  good-boy grooming, to suggest

  what looks innocuous will do no harm.

  But in the mating season he secretes from glands

  in his hindquarters into the hollow spurs of bone

  at either ankle venom so refined that

  when a fisherman, let’s not say poacher,

  tries removing him from a net,

  the stab of pain into the man’s wrist

  bathes him to the shoulder all at once

  in fire. The burning arm throbs

  everywhere. It swells. The man

  in a delirium of pain falls vomiting.

  For three days, arm twice normal size,

  he writhes, and morphine does not quell

  the pain. People stung may think themselves

  the ones attacked, although the platypus

  in the encounter often dies, the person never.

  Observations from a Hillside Stairway on the Day of Atonement, Just Before My Wife and Daughters Break Their Fast

  Under the hanging lights in a pool hall

  at nineteen I read the table after the break

  and followed a map in my head

  to take beer money from older men

  while, eight thousand miles under my feet,

  boys I knew from high school,

  some of them, learned to pray.

  Now, at a table in Vegas,

  holding maybe a rag and an ace,

  my son is reading a voice, a glance,

  and running probabilities

  in his head. Sons of other men

  are bivouacked at dawn in a desert

  where Abraham
’s father worshipped

  Babylonian gods. Everything wobbles

  and spins. Here, in the little woods

  a block from Erwin Methodist Church,

  bottles drunken boys have shattered

  over the brick steps flash

  in wobbling streaks of sunlight.

  Two hundred years ago, James Erwin

  at the end of boyhood left his father’s house,

  and walked into the local wilderness

  to preach. Wolves appeared at dusk,

  and the boy with a Bible sang.

  He shouted God’s praise into the sky.

  Here, the fox grapes hang from a guy wire

  over the edge of the trees where a doe

  and two fawns stand in poison ivy

  to the hip. I never did learn

  to pray or carry a tune, but I say

  these words into my cupped palm

  quietly, not to spook the deer.

  Kropotkin and the Lake on Mars

  Kropotkin worked by the flicker of a tiny oil lamp…During the short hours of the day he would transcribe his notes on a typewriter…Much of his leisure he spent at the piano.

  —Emma Goldman, January 1921

  Pyotr Kropotkin, scientist of anarchy,

  once theorized that the weight of a glacier

  must melt ice underneath it into a lake.

  Fifty years after Kropotkin died, radar

  showed at Vostok Station in the Antarctic

  under a glacier two miles thick

  one of the largest lakes on Earth.

  Now they have found a smaller

  such lake under the ice on Mars,

  water, saltier than the Dead Sea.

  After forty years in exile, and a few

  in prison, Kropotkin came home

  to a cottage he shared with his wife.

  There, in conscience, he wrote

  that taking hostages for the revolution

  was wrong. When company came, watched

  by the secret police, he would play

  transcriptions from the Italian opera

  so that his musical friends could sing.

  Thanks to the Makers of Shells

  Factory workers before I was born

  cut and fitted eighteen pieces of oak wood

  to construct the chair at my desk

  where I have seated myself,

  as a hermit-crab-tail might slip into the vacant shell of a conch.

  Here I let my mind walk sideways,

  fingertips tapping the keyboard in my lap more feelingly

  because each outer shell of a fingernail holds

  the tingling pad alert

  around its inner shell of bone.

  My laptop closes on its hinge,

  the way the operculum of a twisted necklace snail might

  pull shut at the approach of the hermit crab,

  the spool of words, like the snail, enveloped then

  in the nacreousness in the dark.

  Inside my skull another operculum covers

  the insular lobe

  where consciousness takes place, as if the mind

  were a shell for the flesh, or flesh were a husk

  for the cosmic one.

  Message, 1944

  In Budapest, after the cherry blossoms fell,

  a colonel in the SS asked a leader

  from the underground

  to carry a message abroad: the SS

  would release one million Jews

  in exchange for ten thousand trucks

  and a thousand tons of tea, coffee, cocoa,

  and soap for soldiers on the Russian front.

  “Blood for goods,” he called the exchange.

  Then he inverted the phrase

  for effect, “goods for blood.”

  Almost no one herded onto the trains in Budapest

  knew what the leaders of the resistance knew.

  In June, on a typical day at Auschwitz, more

  Jews died than soldiers in both armies fell

  in Normandy on D-Day, which was the sixth.

  On the seventh, British intelligence met

  the Hungarian messenger’s train at Aleppo.

  He was trying to help his people, they thought,

  but the German offer had to be a trick.

  From Aleppo the British took him

  to Cairo where they questioned him

  for four months. The diplomat

  in charge of refugees asked,

  “What shall I do with those million

  Jews? Where shall I put them?”

  The British thought the exchange

  of blood for goods would be

  collusion against their ally Russia.

  Transports of prisoners might be

  deployed as human shields for the enemy.

  Confusion, involving the demand

  for medicine, shelter, and food,

  would prolong the end of the war

  and undermine negotiations to follow.

  Churchill declined the offer. Experts,

  some of them, thought that the murder

  of Jews, exaggerated in propaganda,

  was already reaching an end.

  From mid-May into mid-July,

  in fact, the SS murdered four hundred

  thousand more Hungarian Jews,

  more than the total number of American

  soldiers killed from the beginning

  until the end of the war.

  The messenger upon release

  joined the resistance in Palestine,

  and fought to overthrow British rule.

  Later, secret police from Israel kidnapped

  the German colonel near his house

  in Argentina and brought him

  to Jerusalem for trial. He pleaded

  innocent. Found guilty, he was put

  to death by hanging, this in a prison

  near where eyeless scorpions

  live in limestone caves.

  The messenger believed at the end

  of his life that the British assessment

  of “blood for goods” was correct.

  He regretted his part in the offer.

  Blut gegen Ware, at any rate, still

  describes the logic of money and war.

  Unlit Kitchen, 5 A.M.

  After the rain

  an old man saw

  through the spider web

  on a fogged window

  far down under the cedars

  a cloud on the pond

  lift into the daylight.

  To Floyd, Louisiana

  ca. 1807–ca. 1918

  In the Second Great Awakening

  Moses Floyd, a Methodist preacher,

  came from Pennsylvania

  to the swamp, and a few years later

  here you were, a town with a dry goods store,

  a church, a courthouse, and saloons.

  Young men staggered into the dusty street

  where guns were a kind of law,

  like the hanging tree, and the documents

  stating who owned what and whom.

  But the steamboats quit their run

  on the bayou, and the railroad

  and the highway left you, church

  and courthouse, store, saloons, and all,

  abandoned. Buildings downtown

  disappeared. Now there’s only a crook

  in the two-lane through the level

 
corn and cotton fields slowly

  giving up your name to oblivion,

  like the forgotten name of the mounds

  nearby on Bayou Macon, where the people

  who gathered hickory nuts, persimmons,

  scuppernongs, and mayhaws, cast

  their weighted nets for catfish, cooked

  in covered pits, using ceramic stones

  to set the heat. One of them carved

  a bannerstone in the shape of wings,

  another made a throwing stick for a spear,

  and all of them died three thousand years ago.

  A few days’ walk southwest

  is another circle of mounds, these

  from before the reign of Gilgamesh.

  The people who built them

  fished for the drum which Frenchmen

  taught me as a boy to call the gaspergou.

  Near there, Floyd, when you were young,

  children huddled among their elders

  on a steamboat called the Cleopatra.

  On a river through deep woods

  sheathed in ice they were passing

  into another world, taken by strangers

  out of the only world they knew

  in a kind of boat that trembled

  with a guttural moan. And near you,

  Floyd, under trees far larger

  than any alive now in that region,

  another party of Choctaw came on foot,

  young men, old men, women, and children

  following lost guides in the swamp where limbs

  snapped under the weight of ice and toppled.

  Sunset, Mare Spumans

  The dust on the floor

  of the Foaming Sea

  is barren in all directions.

  One last spark at the uppermost

  limb of the Sun blinks out

  into a seemingly

  infinite swarm of stars,

  and the dust cools

  in the next Earth day

  from the boiling point

  of water down to the freezing

  point of gasoline.

  From the Journal of Dr. Beaurieux

  Witness to an execution by guillotine, June 28, 1905

 

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