Complicate Me (Hawthorn Hills Duet Book 1)

by Claire Raye

  “Curious,” she says. “I mean I know how I felt, but I guess I never stopped to consider how you felt. You guys did everything together,” she continues. “You were like joined at the hip for most of our childhood.”

  This time it’s me shrugging, turning back to look at the view. “You were always there too,” I tell her. “Daring us to do just as much crazy shit as we could come up with.”

  Sienna laughs. “We were pretty crazy, weren’t we?” she says.

  I glance down at her and see she’s turned away, her eyes on the valley below. “You’re still that crazy, fearless girl, Sie,” I tell her.

  Sienna glances at me, brows raised. “Yeah and you’re just straight up batshit crazy!” she says. “The number of times I thought I was gonna lose a limb or my life with some of things you suggested.”

  I laugh. “Maybe, but to answer your question, it sucked.” I stop, wondering why we’ve never actually talked about this before, even when we first moved out and still got along with each other. “Caleb is like my best friend,” I say, turning away from her gaze. “You both were. Fuck, you were like family to me, better than family,” I add, knowing what the three of us had together was so much more than any of us had at home. “It sucked when I lost that.”

  Sienna is quiet now, the only sounds coming from the cars as they wind their way up the mountain behind us and the occasional call of a bird. Eventually, she lets out a long exhale and turns to me. “You haven’t lost it, Reid,” she says, her words barely audible. “We are still friends.”

  I stare down at her, wishing to fuck that her words were true, that I could believe she honestly thought that. But I can’t, not when we’ve spent the better part of the last two years with her hating me.

  “Come on,” I say, smiling. “Should we go get these magical donuts?”

  Sienna nods, giving me a sad smile before she stands and carefully climbs down off the rock. When she reaches the bottom, she stands, one hand holding her hair back from her face, the other wrapped around her waist as she looks out at the view one last time.

  I reach for my phone, quickly taking another picture of her before she notices. Then I climb off the rock and follow her back to the car, my eyes glued to her ass the entire time.

  We continue our drive to the top, stopping off a couple more times to take in some different views. Sienna manages to get a few more of her grungy songs on the radio and even though I refuse to admit it, it’s starting to grow on me. More than anything, I like how relaxed it makes her, the way she hums or softly sings along to the music as she takes in the scenery.

  It’s a side of her I haven’t seen in a really long time and it reminds me again of how fucked up things have gotten between us; how much I miss this version of her. The real Sienna.

  “Alright,” I say, as I pull into the parking area for Summit House. “You ready for donuts?”

  Sienna gives me a sideways glance. “These better be the best fucking donuts in the world, you realize that, don’t you?”

  I chuckle, opening the car door. “And if they’re not?” I ask, hopping out.

  “Then we’ve just taken the mother of all detours for shitty snacks.”

  I laugh as we walk toward the shuttle bus that’s going to take us for the last leg of our journey. As we climb on and head toward the last seat, I gesture to the one closest to the window. Sienna slides in before me and I catch a waft of her scent as she does. Fuck she smells good.

  When I sit down beside her, the seat is small enough that we are pressed together, the entire side of my body crushed against hers. Trying to get a little more comfortable, I lift my arm that’s wedged between us, resting it along the back of the seat so it’s half resting on her shoulders.

  She gives me a quick look before turning to look out the window. We spend the short drive not talking.

  When we finally reach the top, we all climb out and head in to get some donuts. I wave Sienna’s money away and grab us a dozen before we head back outside.

  “Come on.”

  “Where are we going now?” Sienna asks, reaching for the bag. I laugh, holding it above my head so she can’t reach it. “Reid!” she whines, jumping up as she tries to grab it. “Give me the damn donuts!”

  Still laughing, I slip my arm around her waist and pull her against me, my senses immediately on high alert at the proximity of her body against mine, her smell as it invades me.

  Fuck.

  “All in good time,” I tease, squeezing tighter.

  Sienna huffs and I force myself to let her go, turning and heading toward one of the hiking trails that leads out into the mountains.

  “Hiking?” she cries. “Seriously?”

  I chuckle, pulling a donut from the bag and holding it over my shoulder. “Quit your bitching, Sie,” I say, unable to wipe the grin off my mouth.

  She snatches the donut from my hand, one of hers briefly landing on my back as she steadies herself.

  “Oh my fucking god,” she moans and I swear, I almost come in my pants at just how hot that sounds coming out of her mouth.

  “What?” I ask, half a donut in my mouth as I turn back to her.

  She stops, right in the middle of the trail as she devours her donut, licking her fingers in a way that has my dick hardening and all sorts of crazy fantasies running through my brain. “That was unbelievable. Give me another one,” she demands, her hand out to me.

  Chuckling, I turn back and continue walking. “Nope, not yet,” I add, reaching in to grab another one for myself.

  “Reid!” she yells and before I can process what’s happening, she’s jumping on my back, her legs wrapping around my waist as her arms come around my neck to reach for the bag of donuts.

  “Shit,” I grunt around a mouthful of donut.

  “Give me a donut!” she demands, her hand reaching for the bag.

  Laughing, I hold it farther in front of me, my other arm moving to her bare leg as I hitch her a little higher on my back.

  Inside though, my body is going fucking crazy as every single part me lights up with want and need and lust and just fucking everything I’ve ever dreamed about with her. The feel of her body wrapped around mine, her mouth at my ear and her tits against my back. Fuck, it’s like a goddamn fantasy come to life and I’m not sure how I manage to stay standing, let alone carry her.

  “I swear to god,” she starts, pressing herself harder against me as she reaches for the bag, “you better give me a damn donut, or…”

  “Or what?” I tease, turning my head so my mouth is only inches from hers.

  Sienna turns to me, her mouth half open as though she’s just realized how close we are. Up close, I can see traces of sugar on her lips and I watch as her tongue slips out to lick them off.

  It feels like my legs turn to lead in that moment, my heart literally free-falling in my chest. Needing to diffuse the situation, distract myself from how desperately I want to kiss her, I grin and then stick the other half of my donut in her mouth.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sienna

  What was supposed to be a quick stop has now turned into an all day event. After hiking Pikes Peak and then stopping off for donuts, it’s well into the evening. We’ve made very little progress on our route home, only driving about four hours today. At this rate we’ll make it to Providence in a month and not three days.

  Obviously arriving in three days is out of the question now and I’m not even worried about it. I didn’t want to go in the first place, so all of these side stops are the perfect distraction. Honestly, Reid is the perfect distraction.

  “Doesn’t look like we’ll be driving anymore tonight,” I say to Reid as he pulls up outside a well-known luxury hotel.

  “Probably not. You wanna stay here?” he asks and I immediately shake my head.

  “No fucking way. You know I can’t even afford the shitty place we stayed in last night,” I tell him, my voice firm as I continue to shake my head. “Plus, there’s no way they’re going to rent a roo
m to us. We look like a hot mess.” Both of us are a little dirty from hiking, sweaty and sticky, and looking like we need a shower.

  “I’ll pay for it,” he announces, like that fixes everything.

  “No, Reid, you’re not paying for it. The cost of two rooms would be insane!” I can’t even fathom having the kind of money that could afford two rooms at a hotel like this, but to Reid it’s just a drop in the bucket.

  “We could get one room,” he says, raising his eyebrows at me, which causes me to laugh out loud.

  “Think again.”

  He pulls away from the hotel without continuing the conversation and I’m slightly grateful because the idea of sleeping in the same room with him brings up all kinds of thoughts I’m not ready to deal with.

  “How about dinner then?” he asks. “We have to eat.”

  “Yes to dinner. I’m starving.”

  I grab my phone while Reid navigates the streets of Denver trying to find a place to eat. I have to say, I thought his driving would be terrible, but he’s been pretty good so far. I wouldn’t dare pay him this compliment though. His ego is already swollen enough.

  “Do you want me to look for some places nearby?” I ask and he shakes his head, continuing to drive like he knows where he wants to go. “I’m going to text Caleb and let him know we’re a little behind.”

  “You okay that we’re behind?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I don’t really care.”

  He laughs a little and then says, “Is it because you get to spend more time with me?”

  Now it’s me who’s laughing. He just can’t stop himself from saying something stupid.

  “No, Reid. It’s because I don’t even want to go home, but if you want to think it’s all about you, then go ahead.”

  He puts a hand over his heart and sighs dramatically and again I’m laughing. He shoots me a mock devastated look, his bottom lip jutting out a just a little.

  “It breaks my heart that you don’t want to be around me,” he says, a comically bad whine to his voice.

  “Of course I want to be around you,” I say and when the words leave my mouth, I realize they sound far more desperate than I intend, but oddly enough, Reid lets the conversation die there.

  He pulls into the back parking lot of a small restaurant that looks like it has been in business for the last sixty years. The parking lot is marred with potholes and the outside of the building is worn and dated with chipping paint and letters missing off the sign.

  “What is this?” I ask, wrinkling up my nose and clenching my teeth.

  “For someone who has been poor her whole life, you certainly have high standards,” he says and I shoot him a pissed off look, hands on my hips, my head tilted to the side. “Oh relax,” he starts, “I was just giving you shit. I’m sure you have hand sanitizer in your purse.”

  He walks off with me trailing behind, not bothering to wait for me to catch up, but when he reaches the door, he stops, holding it open for me. He shoots me a smile, one that makes my stomach feel like butterflies have taken up residence. How is it possible that one man can take a simple gesture and it stirs a million feelings deep within me? He really has a fucking gift.

  I walk over to the counter, looking up at the menu as Reid comes up behind me. With his mouth next to my ear and his hand now resting on my hip, he tells me what to order. Normally I’d tell him to fuck off or better yet, move completely away from him, but I stay. Letting his words sink in, letting the closeness of his body, calm me.

  “I promise you won’t be disappointed,” he murmurs, and I can’t believe he can make a food order sound so fucking sexy. If I’m being honest, Reid has one of the sexiest voices ever. It’s deep and melodic and when he talks, he can make you feel like the only person in the room.

  I take Reid’s advice and order one steak, one al pastor, and one shrimp and he orders five different tacos, chips and guacamole, and elotes. I raise my eyebrows at him, wondering why he didn’t order what he told me to if it’s that good.

  “Gotta get an assortment so you can try everything,” he says, acting like two people always order a ridiculous amount of food like this.

  “Whatever you say,” I add, but panicking a little at the cost. Reid doesn’t understand that I don’t have an unlimited supply of money. I’m down to the penny at the end of the month and sometimes I have to borrow from Ruby to buy groceries.

  But in typical Reid fashion, he slides in and pays for our entire meal, asking me to go find us a place to sit.

  The restaurant is completely empty, but I still choose a small booth at the back, sliding in and waiting for him.

  “They’ll call us when our order is ready,” he says as he sits down across from me.

  “You didn’t have to pay for my dinner,” I say, somewhat embarrassed by how little I’ve contributed to this road trip.

  “I know I didn’t, but I also know you’re struggling and I’m not, so what’s the big deal?”

  “I guess it’s not a big deal. I don’t know…” I say, not bothering to complete my thought. I’m over arguing with Reid about every little detail. It’s starting to feel really petty.

  “Just let me do this for you, Sie, okay? Let me help you.” There’s a kindness to his words that strikes hard. I want his help because some days I do feel like I’m falling apart, especially now.

  I nod my head, but my thoughts are consumed with more than what he just said. He’s spent his whole life living off his parents’ money, something he hated, but eventually came to terms with. Reid grew up wealthy, like the kind of wealth people dream of, and Caleb and I were as poor as poor gets. But we weren’t always that way and that’s how we met Reid.

  We all grew up in the same neighborhood, the same oversized houses and tree-lined streets, where the streetlights came on at six and people watched over their children like hawks. Where they judged each other and turned up their noses at us because our parental supervision was severely lacking.

  We were the neighborhood gossip.

  My father inherited the family business from his father, who inherited it from his father, and it was insanely successful. A series of bars that dotted the coastal towns and popped up along the strip at Brown University.

  But my father drove it into the ground and eventually closed all but one location, and for the life of Caleb and me we had no idea how it kept running. It brought in enough to cover the bills and our suburban mansion was old money, passed down to my dad, it was bought and paid for.

  Reid’s family was different though. The wealth was always there and continued to grow as we did, and by the time we were in high school, Reid’s family was one of the wealthiest in Rhode Island. But no one really wants to admit where the Bowen family money comes from, including Reid.

  “Do you ever get sick of living off your parents’ money?” I ask him, seemingly out of nowhere, but these thoughts have been in my head since he whipped out his credit card to pay for our meal.

  “Sometimes yeah,” he responds, but pauses for a few seconds before continuing. “It’s hard to separate myself from it, but I’m trying. It’s why I busted my ass at school and at football. I didn’t want it hanging over my head that they paid for my college education.”

  Reid was always much smarter than anyone assumed. He’s probably one of the smartest people I know and not only was he able to earn a scholarship for football; he was able to grab a few small local scholarships for his grades.

  He’s smart enough to know he won’t be playing pro football like a lot of the dumbasses on his team assume and he has taken on a heavy load of classes, majoring in engineering. Everything seems to come to him so effortlessly.

  “Will you move back to Rhode Island when we graduate?” I ask, knowing my own answer to the question, but things have changed a little now. With my dad gone and Caleb there all alone, I may reconsider.

  “I have no idea. I guess that all depends on what you end up doing,” he says, and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes.
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  “Why do you say shit like that? To get under my skin? Because you know it works.”

  He chuckles a little, tossing a wink my way and before he can respond his name is called to pick up our order.

  He returns to the table and the moment has passed, both of us now wrapped up in our hunger as he dishes out the food.

  I take one bite of a taco and I’m moaning out loud. It’s been so long since I’ve had anything this good, basically living off frozen pizza, Ramen noodles and apples for the last two years. My head falls back and it’s like I’m having an out of body experience. I could eat thousands of these tacos and never get sick of them.

  “Oh, to hear you moan like that,” Reid says, licking his lips as he watches me.

  “Please, you can make any girl moan like this every day of your life.” And then I proceed to moan out his name, making fun of the way any of the girls I’ve ever seen wrapped around him act. “Oh, Reid…” I drop my mouth open and close my eyes.

  “Except one,” he mutters, and I cock my head to the side looking at him, but instead of asking him what he meant, I ask a more serious question, one that has plagued my thoughts for a while.

  “Why do you think you don’t have any serious girlfriends? Why haven’t you ever really dated anyone?”

  “Who has time for that shit,” he says, shaking his head and acting like what I’ve asked is the most ridiculous question ever.

  “No, seriously. Do you think it’s because having to share with them the bullshit in our lives is too much?”

  “You putting yourself in the same category as me?” he asks now and I shrug a little knowing that I do sometimes think it’s all too much. No one wants to deal with someone’s crazy family or their damaged past.

  “Maybe.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’s part of it,” he replies. “I’m not really interested in bringing someone into my life that I know probably won’t stick around.”

  “How do you know they won’t stick around when you don’t give them a chance?” I respond back, not trying to get into a debate with him, but genuinely interested in what he has to say.