More Than a Rogue

by Sophie Barnes

  Both of them smirked with apparent amusement.

  Emily narrowed her gaze. “What?”

  Mary laughed. “Is that all you have to say for yourself?”

  “The simmering air between you and Griffin did not go unnoticed,” Cassandra explained.

  Emily went to the window and glanced out at the garden below. It was pretty and inviting, with graveled walkways and rosebushes promising a wild display of color and fragrance in the months to come. “I cannot imagine what you are referring to.”

  “And we are but a pair of blind simpletons,” Mary murmured. “Come now. We have always been open and honest with each other.”

  “And we will get the truth out of you one way or the other,” Cassandra said with a grin.

  Emily turned to face them. She rolled her eyes. “Oh, very well.” She studied their eager expressions for a second before saying, “Griffin kissed me at your ball, Mary. Mama witnessed the whole thing and demanded we marry. So I ran.”

  “I knew it had to be something like that,” Mary said, her voice rising in a squeak of excitement. “Didn’t I tell you, Cass?” She returned her attention to Emily while Cassandra nodded. “And Griffin went in pursuit.”

  “The man is obviously smitten,” Cassandra said with a bounce in her voice.

  Emily shook her head. “No, he isn’t. He was merely trying to do the gentlemanly thing by ensuring the safety of a stubborn woman who was quite determined to quit his company.”

  A second of silence ensued. It was followed by her friends’ explosive laughter. “Is that what you think?” Mary asked. When Emily slowly nodded, she said, “Even Caleb suggested that you and his brother would eventually marry. And that was before he kissed you at the ball.”

  “What?”

  “The two of you have been eyeing each other since the moment you first met,” Cassandra said. “Except now…” She scrunched her nose and peered at Emily. “You’re more flustered around him while he looks like he’d appreciate the chance to get you alone somewhere.”

  “It’s nothing really. It’s just—”

  “Did anything else happen between you two at Clearview?” Mary asked with a wry smile that hinted at scandal.

  “No!” Emily cleared her throat. “My mother was there for the most part. In fact, it’s the oddest thing, but I do believe Griffin has somehow helped us overcome our differences.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Cassandra said.

  Mary nodded. “I quite agree.” She was silent a moment before asking, “Are you sure nothing else happened between you and Griffin?”

  “Well, I…” Oh, for heaven’s sake, lying to her friends was impossible. “He may have kissed me again. Or rather, I may have kissed him. I’m actually not sure which.”

  Cassandra squealed and Mary laughed. “I knew it!” Mary exclaimed. “The fire in his eyes when he looks at you suggests that there has to be more to your recent interaction than the one kiss you shared with each other at the ball.”

  “You have to tell us everything,” Cassandra said. She took a seat on Emily’s bed and patted the spot beside her.

  With a sigh, Emily surrendered. She spent the next several minutes giving her friends a quick outline of everything that had occurred since the moment she’d spotted Mr. Bale and had suggested they go for a walk together in the garden.

  “And you’re certain that Griffin doesn’t want marriage?” Mary prodded.

  “I have overheard him saying that it is the last thing on his mind,” Emily said. “He plans to return to Vienna as soon as possible. Escorting me to Clearview and coming here have delayed him.”

  “Or,” Cassandra said with a brightness that Emily suddenly lacked, “he’s increasingly reluctant to go. Because of you.”

  “I think that’s unlikely,” Emily said.

  Mary frowned. “Why?”

  “Well, I’m hardly the sort of woman who turns a man’s head,” Emily blurted.

  Cassandra and Mary both stared at her. “And therein lies the problem,” Cassandra whispered. “You still don’t think you’re good enough, even after he kissed you and followed you all the way to Clearview, installing himself there when he had every excuse not to do so.”

  “He was being a gentleman,” Emily muttered.

  “With roguish intentions.” Mary chuckled. A smile chased away the laughter, and she took Emily’s hand. The mattress bounced a little as she shifted her weight to turn more fully toward her. “As I understand it, returning to Vienna is rather pressing for Griffin. He’s already been away too long, so I am quite sure the only reason he’s still in England is because he is hoping to secure an attachment with you before he goes.”

  Emily forced herself not to be swept away by the excitement with which her friends spoke. “I don’t want him to do something rash out of duty or obligation.”

  “I’d say the fact that he keeps on kissing you proves there’s a bit more to it than that,” Cassandra pointed out.

  “But…” Was it possible that Griffin actually wanted to marry her like her friends were suggesting? And if so, could it really be because he truly wanted her? The chance that it might sent a thrill darting through her.

  “Would you perhaps consider going with him?” Mary asked. “To Vienna, that is?”

  “I…I have no idea. I’d have to think about that.” Vienna seemed so incredibly far away, but then again, if she were going with Griffin, it might not be so bad. And yet... She shook her head. “No.” When her friends looked puzzled, she said, “Griffin might want me, but he does not love me the way I love him.”

  “Are you sure?” Mary quietly asked.

  Emily nodded, her heart overcome by sadness. “I cannot spend my life waiting for him to feel more for me than he does – hoping he’ll one day return my affection when that day might never come. It would simply hurt too much.”

  Strolling through the stables with his brother, Griffin savored the whinnying sounds of horses and the earthy smell of muck and hay. He paused to nuzzle one of the mounts. “I look forward to riding with you in the coming days.” He glanced at Caleb. “We haven’t done so since we were lads.” Before they’d gone off to university. Before their lives had been changed by Caleb’s sudden departure.

  As if sensing an underlying hint of regret, Caleb stepped closer and leaned one shoulder against the stall. “Do you wish things had been different?”

  There was no mistaking his meaning.

  Griffin shook his head. “No. You did the right thing by going away. Devlin and I saw that, which was why we both left as well.” He winced. “Staying behind and following the path Papa had prepared for us wasn’t an option.”

  “It’s incredible, isn’t it,” Caleb murmured, “how poorly a man can know his own sons?”

  “I don’t believe he ever cared to know us.”

  “No. I don’t believe he did either.” Caleb patted the horse’s neck and straightened himself with a forced smile. “His loss, since we turned out rather well in my opinion.”

  “We certainly managed to do alright without him.”

  “That we did,” Caleb agreed. He let his hand drop and proceeded to study Griffin a moment. “What are your plans now?”

  Griffin moved away from the stall and recommenced walking. “That depends.”

  “On a certain Miss Emily Howard, I suspect?”

  Seeing the sparkle in his brother’s eyes, Griffin could not help but grin. “I must confess she’s prompted me to reexamine everything I hope to accomplish.”

  “Like getting married and starting a family?”

  Griffin nodded. He kicked some fallen hay out from under his boot, savoring the scrape of the heel against the flagstones. “You know that neither featured very strongly in my plans for the future. Until now.” He smiled, comfortably and openly. “I swear that woman has put some sort of spell on me.”

  Caleb laughed and slapped his hand on Griffin’s shoulder. “She wouldn’t be the first one to affect a man so. That I can promise you.�
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  “So you’re just as in love with Mary as you were four months ago when you married?”

  “More so, if you can believe it.” They exited the stables and started back toward the house. “I’m happy for you, Griffin. Let’s hope that I’ll soon be congratulating you on your engagement.”

  Griffin savored the warmth of the afternoon sun spilling over his cheeks as they walked. His heart fluttered beneath his ribs both from nervousness and excitement. Pursuing Emily felt right. Instinct told him that they would be good together. Now all he had to do was convince her. It was a feat he looked forward to with growing anticipation.

  “The rest of the guests should be arriving tomorrow,” Caleb announced during dinner.

  “Who else are you expecting?” Emily’s father asked before he stuck a piece of veal in his mouth. He and Laura had arrived from London that afternoon.

  “Cassandra’s brother, Viscount Aldridge and his wife, Vivien, have been invited. Then there are Mary’s parents, her sisters and their husbands, of course.” Caleb paused to take a sip of his wine. “I’ve also taken the liberty of inviting Langdon and his wife.”

  Emily sputtered, the sip of wine she’d just taken going down the wrong way. “Langdon…?”

  “He’s an old friend,” Griffin explained, apparently mistaking Emily’s question for ignorance. “I haven’t seen him since I left England. Last I heard he was visiting family in Scotland, so it will be great to finally catch up on lost time.”

  “Fantastic,” Emily muttered with a cough that earned her a quizzical look from Cassandra.

  “Are you all right, dear?” Georgina asked, leaning in.

  Emily nodded. She managed a hoarse, “Of course.” Laura gave her a curious glance from across the table.

  Georgina lowered her voice. “You’re not still in love with him are you?”

  Emily forced back a frustrated groan and gave a quick shake of her head. “I never was.” When her mother said nothing further, apparently satisfied by this response, Emily turned her attention to her plate while the conversation continued around her. Langdon would arrive tomorrow. She would have to face him again for the first time since she’d been informed that they wouldn’t suit.

  It had been awful, not because she had loved him as her mother believed, but because he had been her one chance of starting a family of her own. He’d given her hope by encouraging her dream of a countryside manor, three children, and a cocker spaniel for them to play with. But when he’d asked to speak with her father, it had not been to ask for his daughter’s hand, but rather to break things off. The coward had not even had the courage to tell Emily himself.

  Dreading the upcoming meeting, Emily found it hard to focus on anything else for the rest of the evening. After supper, she remained silent while enjoying a cup of hot tea with the rest of the ladies. Perhaps she could feign illness and remain in her bedchamber for the entire duration of Langdon’s stay?

  “Is something the matter?” Mary asked, her prodding voice breaking through Emily’s troubled thoughts. “You’ve been very distant all evening.”

  Emily sighed. She could not be dishonest with her friend, nor did she wish to be. Setting her teacup aside, she stood and beckoned for Mary to take a turn of the room with her. When they were some distance from the others, she said, “I know I have always told you and Cass that I never secured an attachment to any gentleman because I was too…unappealing.”

  Mary frowned. “You said you were a wallflower with whom no gentleman wished to dance.”

  “And that is true, although I did have a brief understanding once. Or so I believed. With the Earl of Langdon”

  Mary’s eyes widened. “Do you mean to say,” she asked in a hushed whisper, “that you were hoping to marry him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, good grief.”

  Emily caught her friend by the arm and steered her toward the window. “My heart never suffered on his account, but my hopes were ruined and… Well, I discovered soon after that Mama was to blame, for she’d gone to speak with him that very same morning. Her visit obviously gave him cause to reconsider his intentions.”

  “You believe she may have overwhelmed him?”

  “I have no doubt of it since the purpose of her visit was to question him about his experience in the bedchamber.”

  “You cannot be serious!” The exclamation caught Cassandra’s attention. She glanced at them briefly before turning back to Caleb’s mother with whom she, Laura, and Georgina were conversing.

  “Perfectly so,” Emily muttered. “Her intention, as she described it at the time, was to ensure that he would be both willing and capable of providing her with sufficient grandchildren.” Mary pressed her lips together. Her shoulders started trembling. Emily glared at her. “It isn’t funny.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. It is just...” A snicker burst past Mary’s lips, followed by a small snort. “Imagining that conversation and Langdon’s response to it has stirred my imagination.”

  “Yes. Well. I suppose I can appreciate that now. In retrospect.” Emily sighed. “It has taken me years to forgive her, but speaking to Langdon again isn’t something I ever imagined having to do. Least of all at a house party where I’ll be forced to endure his and his wife’s company.”

  “You mustn’t worry,” Mary assured her. “Now that you’ve made me aware of your predicament, I shall do what I can to ensure that your interaction with them is kept to a minimum. I promise you that.”

  “Thank you.” Emily grabbed her hand briefly and gave it a squeeze. “You and Cass are the best of friends. I cannot imagine what I would do without you.”

  When Griffin returned to the parlor later, Emily was discussing the medicinal benefits of various teas and herbs with the other women.

  She liked that he dove right into the conversation, adding that he’d had great success adding cloves, citrus, and honey to tea made from mint leaves and chamomile when treating a cold. “Adding a finger of brandy helps too, not only with the healing effect but with the flavor as well.” He winked, causing all the ladies to laugh.

  “I have always liked adding port to my tea when taking it in private,” the dowager duchess confessed.

  Caleb stared at his mother. “Really?” He arched his brows.

  The old woman shrugged her slim shoulders. “As you say, it vastly improves the flavor.”

  Laughter bubbled up Emily’s throat, catching her by surprise. She met Griffin’s gaze and noted the sparkle of mirth in his eyes. There was something undeniably funny about the idea of his reserved and very proper mother sneaking port into her tea. Noting her own mother’s look of disapproval directed her way, Emily struggled to regain her composure. But the comforting warmth of sharing a connection with Griffin lingered long after other subjects were raised for discussion. It eased her into a state of relaxation that helped her forget about Langdon and his imminent arrival so she could enjoy the rest of the evening.

  After saying good night to everyone, Emily spent the next half hour preparing for bed. A fire burned low in the grate, heating the spot where she sat combing out her hair. The light from a candle on her dressing table flickered, casting an orange glow over its immediate surroundings. Everything else was muted by shadows, the furniture vaguely outlined in the dark.

  Emily set her comb down and picked up the candle. She crossed to the window and looked out at the purple scenery beyond. Stars sparkled overhead like pieces of shattered glass tossed up into the air, the moon a bright orb of gold suspended against the darkness. Recalling a different glance out a different window, at Griffin striding toward the lake, caused a smile to tug at her lips. She would never forget how incredible he’d looked as he’d emerged from the water, or her body’s response to the sight. Even now, the mere recollection caused a wave of heat to wash over her skin.

  She took a deep breath and closed the curtains, the bed that faced her when she turned a stark reminder of what she so desperately longed for. But would she have th
e courage or the opportunity? She shook her head with a chastising curse. Her best chance of enjoying such activity would have been at Clearview. Before her mother had arrived. Sneaking about now in her friend’s home with both of her parents present and other guests ready to catch Griffin ruining her was—

  A soft scrape at the door gave Emily pause. It sounded like a cat or a dog clawing to get in. The noise came again, urging her forward. She hesitated, tilted her head, and listened again.

  “Emily?”

  The hushed whisper, barely audible through the door, almost made her drop the candle. Stupidly, she glanced around the room, as if it would tell her how to respond. The whisper was repeated, slightly louder this time. She reached for the door handle, gulped down a lungful of air, and opened the door, her eyes meeting Griffin’s across the threshold.

  “I know this is highly irregular,” he whispered, “but I need to speak with you in private, only I can’t seem to get you alone.” He glanced both ways, as if to ensure that no one was coming. “May I come in?”

  Emily hesitated briefly. If he entered her bedchamber she would most likely kiss him again, and if she kissed him again, there was a chance she would beg him for more. So if she had any doubts about heading down that particular path, the time to address them was now.

  He doesn’t love you. He won’t offer marriage. All you will ever be to him is a brief distraction.

  She stepped back and opened the door wider, her mind completely at ease with whatever might happen between them. This was her chance. Right now. With Griffin. She could not pass it up even if it meant having her heart broken when he eventually left her.

  His shoulder nudged hers as he walked past. She closed the door gently behind him and turned. The light from the candle brought his features into stark relief, sharpening the angles while smoothing out the softer lines. The effect was dramatic, almost theatrical in nature, and utterly captivating. She was transfixed, unable to look away.