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The Second Reginald Bretnor Megapack

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by Reginald Bretnor




  Table of Contents

  COPYRIGHT INFO

  A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

  THE MEGAPACK SERIES

  THE HAUNTING OF H.M.S. “DRYAD”

  FEGHOOT SHIPWRECKED (Feghoot 37)

  THE GHOST (Feghoot 19)

  CIVIL RIGHTS (Feghoot 36)

  GNURRS COME FROM THE VOODVORK OUT

  LITTLE ANTON

  THE LADIES OF BEETLEGOOSE NINE

  COUNT VON SCHIMMELHORN AND THE TIME-PONY

  PAPA SCHIMMELHORN’S YANG

  PAPA SCHIMMELHORN AND THE S.O.D.O.M. SERUM

  SCHIMMELHORN’S GOLD [Part 1]

  SCHIMMELHORN’S GOLD [Part 2]

  T.V. (Feghoot 48)

  A KILLING IN SWORDS [Part 1]

  A KILLING IN SWORDS [Part 2]

  IN A PICKLE (Feghoot 33)

  THE GNU MUTATION (Feghoot 38)

  COPYRIGHT INFO

  The Second Reginald Bretnor Megapack is copyright © 2014 by Wildside Press LLC. All rights reserved. For more information, contact the publisher.

  * * * *

  “Civil Rights” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, February 1961. Copyright © 1961, renewed 1989 (renewal #RE0000408348) by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “The Haunting of H.M.S. Dryad” originally appeared in Weird Tales, Fall 1998. Copyright © 1998 by Reginald Bretnor.

  “Feghoot Shipwrecked” (Feghoot 37) originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 1961. Copyright © 1961, renewed 1989 (renewal #RE0000456135) by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “Gnurrs Come from the Voodvork Out” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Winter-Spring 1950. Copyright © 1950 by Fantasy House, Inc., renewed 1977 (renewal #R668564) by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “Little Anton” originally appeared in New Tales of Space & Time. Copyright © 1950 by Henry Holt & Company, Inc., renewed 1979 (renewal #RE0000035323).

  “The Ladies of Beetlegoose Nine” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Oct. 1976. Copyright © 1976 by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “Count Von Schimmelhorn And The Time-Pony” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Oct. 1974. Copyright © 1974 by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “Papa Schimmelhorn’s Yang” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 1978. Copyright © 1978 by Mercury Press, Inc.

  “Papa Schimmelhorn and the S.O.D.O.M. Serum” originally appeared in Two Views of Wonder. Copyright © 1973 by Thomas N. Scortia and Chelsea Quinn Yarbro.

  Schimmenhorn’s Gold is copyright © 1986 by Reginald Bretnor. All rights reserved.

  “T.V.” (Feghoot 48) originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, February 1962. Copyright ©1962, renewed 1990 (renewal #RE0000456145) by Mercury Press.

  A Killing in Swords is copyright © 1979 by Reginald Bretnor.

  “Feghoot 33” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, November 1960. Copyright © 1960, renewed 1988 (renewal #RE0000408345) by Mercury Press.

  “The Gnu Mutation” (Feghoot 38) originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, April 1961. Copyright ©1961, renewed 1989 (renewal #RE0000456136) by Mercury Press.

  A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

  Once, very long ago, I was a partner in a literary agency (with George H. Scithers and Darrell Schweitzer). Among our very first clients was the illustrious Reginald Bretnor (1911-1992) who wrote as R. Bretnor, Reginald Bretnor, and “Grendal Briarton.”

  Reg was a hobbyist writer. He dabbled, and dabbled excellently, in fiction, producting over the course of his 81 years just three novels (two of which are included here), about 60 short stories (not counting the dozens of short-short Feghoot stories), and a scattering of other literary works.

  After Reg’s death, his literary estate was sold to a private individual (who published a “best of” collection) but nothing else, allowed a few fans to write new Feghoot stories, and largely administered the occasional reprint sales. Then I purchased it, and Wildside began to reissue material. So far, we have done several audiobooks, reprinted numerous short stories in our ebook collections, and last year, we brought out The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack.

  Now here is a second volume. This one contains the complete “Papa Schimmelhorn” series (“Gnurrs” also appears in the first volume, but I now wish I had held it up for this volume instead. So for readers’ convenience I’m putting it here, too), the mystery novel A Killing in Swords (Reg was passionate about Japanese swords), and a scattering of Feghoots and other short stories. It’s an eclectic assortment; I know every reader will find something of interest!

  And don’t worry, there’s more than enough good material for The Third Reginald Bretnor Megapack!

  —John Betancourt

  Publisher, Wildside Press LLC

  www.wildsidepress.com

  ABOUT THE MEGAPACKS

  Over the last few years, our “Megapack” series of ebook anthologies has proved to be one of our most popular endeavors. (Maybe it helps that we sometimes offer them as premiums to our mailing list!) One question we keep getting asked is, “Who’s the editor?”

  The Megapacks (except where specifically credited) are a group effort. Everyone at Wildside works on them. This includes John Betancourt, Mary Wickizer Burgess, Sam Cooper, Carla Coupe, Steve Coupe, Bonner Menking, Colin Azariah-Kribbs, Robert Reginald. A. E. Warren, and many of Wildside’s authors…who often suggest stories to include (and not just their own!).

  RECOMMEND A FAVORITE STORY?

  Do you know a great classic science fiction story, or have a favorite author whom you believe is perfect for the Megapack series? We’d love your suggestions! You can post them on our message board at http://movies.ning.com/forum (there is an area for Wildside Press comments).

  Note: we only consider stories that have already been professionally published. This is not a market for new works.

  TYPOS

  Unfortunately, as hard as we try, a few typos do slip through. We update our ebooks periodically, so make sure you have the current version (or download a fresh copy if it’s been sitting in your ebook reader for months.) It may have already been updated.

  If you spot a new typo, please let us know. We’ll fix it for everyone. You can email the publisher at wildsidepress@yahoo.com or use the message boards above.

  THE MEGAPACK SERIES

  MYSTERY

  The First Mystery Megapack

  The Second Mystery Megapack

  The Achmed Abdullah Megapack

  The Bulldog Drummond Megapack*

  The Carolyn Wells Mystery Megapack

  The Charlie Chan Megapack*

  The Craig Kennedy Scientific Detective Megapack

  The Detective Megapack

  The Father Brown Megapack

  The Girl Detective Megapack

  The Second Girl Detective Megapack

  The First R. Austin Freeman Megapack

  The Second R. Austin Freeman Megapack*

  The Third R. Austin Freeman Megapack*

  The Jacques Futrelle Megapack

  The Anna Katharine Green Mystery Megapack

  The Penny Parker Megapack

  The Philo Vance Megapack*

  The Pulp Fiction Megapack

  The Raffles Megapack

  The Red Finger Pulp Mystery Megapack, by Arthur Leo Zagat*

  The Sherloc
k Holmes Megapack

  The Victorian Mystery Megapack

  The Wilkie Collins Megapack

  GENERAL INTEREST

  The Adventure Megapack

  The Baseball Megapack

  The Cat Story Megapack

  The Second Cat Story Megapack

  The Third Cat Story Megapack

  The Third Cat Story Megapack

  The Christmas Megapack

  The Second Christmas Megapack

  The Classic American Short Stories Megapack, Vol. 1.

  The Classic Humor Megapack

  The Dog Story Megapack

  The Doll Story Megapack

  The Horse Story Megapack

  The Military Megapack

  The Pirate Story Megapack

  The Sea-Story Megapack

  THE GOLDEN AGE OF SCIENCE FICTION MEGAPACKS

  1. Winston K. Marks

  2. Mark Clifton

  3. Poul Anderson

  4. Clifford D. Simak

  5. Lester del Rey

  6. Charles L. Fontenay

  7. H.B. Fyfe

  SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY

  The First Science Fiction Megapack

  The Second Science Fiction Megapack

  The Third Science Fiction Megapack

  The Fourth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Sixth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Seventh Science Fiction Megapack

  The Eighth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Edward Bellamy Megapack

  The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack

  The Fredric Brown Megapack

  The First Theodore Cogswell Megapack

  The Ray Cummings Megapack

  The Philip K. Dick Megapack

  The Dragon Megapack

  The Randall Garrett Megapack

  The Second Randall Garrett Megapack

  The Edmond Hamilton Megapack

  The C.J. Henderson Megapack

  The Murray Leinster Megapack

  The Second Murray Leinster Megapack

  The Jack London Science Fiction Megapack

  The Martian Megapack

  The A. Merritt Megapack*

  The E. Nesbit Megapack

  The Andre Norton Megapack

  The H. Beam Piper Megapack

  The Pulp Fiction Megapack

  The Mack Reynolds Megapack

  The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack

  The Science-Fantasy Megapack

  The Robert Sheckley Megapack

  The Space Opera Megapack

  The Steampunk Megapack

  The Time Travel Megapack

  The William Hope Hodgson Megapack

  The Wizard of Oz Megapack

  HORROR

  The Horror Megapack

  The Second Horror Megapack

  The Achmed Abdullah Megapack

  The Second Achmed Abdullah Megapack

  The E.F. Benson Megapack

  The Second E.F. Benson Megapack

  The Algernon Blackwood Megapack

  The Second Algernon Blackwood Megapack

  The Cthulhu Mythos Megapack

  The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack

  The Ghost Story Megapack

  The Second Ghost Story Megapack

  The Third Ghost Story Megapack

  The Haunts & Horrors Megapack

  The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack

  The M.R. James Megapack

  The Macabre Megapack

  The Second Macabre Megapack

  The Third Macabre Megapack

  The Arthur Machen Megapack**

  The Mummy Megapack

  The Occult Detective Megapack

  The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack

  The Vampire Megapack

  The Weird Fiction Megapack

  The Werewolf Megapack

  The William Hope Hodgson Megapack

  WESTERNS

  The Western Megapack

  The Second Western Megapack

  The Third Western Megapack

  The B.M. Bower Megapack

  The Max Brand Megapack

  The Buffalo Bill Megapack

  The Cowboy Megapack

  The Zane Grey Megapack

  The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack

  YOUNG ADULT

  The Bobbsey Twins Megapack

  The Boys’ Adventure Megapack

  The Dan Carter, Cub Scout Megapack

  The Dare Boys Megapack

  The Doll Story Megapack

  The G.A. Henty Megapack

  The Girl Detectives Megapack

  The E. Nesbit Megapack

  The Penny Parker Megapack

  The Pinocchio Megapack

  The Rover Boys Megapack

  The Second Carolyn Wells Megapack

  The Tom Corbett, Space Cadet Megapack

  The Tom Swift Megapack

  The Wizard of Oz Megapack

  AUTHOR MEGAPACKS

  The Achmed Abdullah Megapack

  The H. Bedford-Jones Pulp Fiction Megapack

  The Edward Bellamy Megapack

  The E.F. Benson Megapack

  The Second E.F. Benson Megapack

  The Henri Bergson Megapack

  The Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson Megapack

  The Algernon Blackwood Megapack

  The Second Algernon Blackwood Megapack

  The B.M. Bower Megapack

  The Max Brand Megapack

  The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack

  The Fredric Brown Megapack

  The Second Fredric Brown Megapack

  The Wilkie Collins Megapack

  The Stephen Crane Megapack

  The Ray Cummings Megapack

  The Guy de Maupassant Megapack

  The Philip K. Dick Megapack

  The Frederick Douglass Megapack

  The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack

  The F. Scott Fitzgerald Megapack

  The First R. Austin Freeman Megapack

  The Second R. Austin Freeman Megapack*

  The Third R. Austin Freeman Megapack*

  The Jacques Futrelle Megapack

  The Randall Garrett Megapack

  The Second Randall Garrett Megapack

  The Anna Katharine Green Megapack

  The Zane Grey Megapack

  The Edmond Hamilton Megapack

  The Dashiell Hammett Megapack

  The C.J. Henderson Megapack

  The M.R. James Megapack

  The Selma Lagerlof Megapack

  The Harold Lamb Megapack

  The Murray Leinster Megapack***

  The Second Murray Leinster Megapack***

  The Jonas Lie Megapack

  The Arthur Machen Megapack**

  The Katherine Mansfield Megapack

  The George Barr McCutcheon Megapack

  The A. Merritt Megapack*

  The Talbot Mundy Megapack

  The E. Nesbit Megapack

  The Andre Norton Megapack

  The H. Beam Piper Megapack

  The Mack Reynolds Megapack

  The Rafael Sabatini Megapack

  The Saki Megapack

  The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack

  The Robert Sheckley Megapack

  The Bram Stoker Megapack

  The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack

  The Virginia Woolf Megapack

  The William
Hope Hodgson Megapack

  * Not available in the United States

  ** Not available in the European Union

  ***Out of print.

  OTHER COLLECTIONS YOU MAY ENJOY

  The Great Book of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany (it should have been called “The Lord Dunsany Megapack”)

  The Wildside Book of Fantasy

  The Wildside Book of Science Fiction

  Yondering: The First Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories

  To the Stars—And Beyond! The Second Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories

  Once Upon a Future: The Third Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories

  Whodunit?—The First Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories

  More Whodunits—The Second Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories

  X is for Xmas: Christmas Mysteries

  THE HAUNTING OF H.M.S. “DRYAD”

  I had always felt there was something strange about my friend Captain Edmund Casebolt Crankshaw, who owns and manages the Dryad Hotel on San Francisco’s Embarcadero, so I really wasn’t too surprised when he told me the place was haunted. After all, it’s been there for much more than a hundred years, built over the hulk of H.M.S. Dryad, which sank at her moorings like so many other ships when her crew deserted her for the promised riches of the Gold Rush in 1850. Her mizzen mast still stands in the middle of the lobby, and the saloon bar, The Bilge Pump, still occupies her after cabins, which her officers thoughtfully waterproofed before she went down. Still, the haunting puzzled me, for—though he’s always a perfect gentleman—the Captain was no man to trifle with, which I felt sure even a ghost would realize. His card says Master Mariner, but it always seemed to me that he’d be more at home on the quarterdeck of a man-of-war.

  I had joined him at his table at the end of the bar, just under the partly draped Dryad figurehead which had once graced the ship’s prow, and Mickey, his huge Fijian bartender with the filed teeth, had brought me my first bourbon and water on the house. It was a Friday night, and there was the usual Friday crowd of other students and junior faculty members from U.C., arguing as always about whether science fiction should or should not be called speculative fiction—as though the word science might put a hex on it. The oil lamps in their brass gimbals—the only illumination allowed—cast a soft light on the mellow panelling. The Captain usually began by asking me how my work was progressing—I was hoping to become an undersea archaeologist, and naturally he was interested—but tonight he obviously had something else in mind.

 

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