Valerie

by Kit Eyre

  ‘I’m gonna find a payphone. Call the switchboard, get you a lift home. There must be one downstairs.’

  Valerie ran two hands through her unkempt hair. ‘That would be wonderful, thank you. I may as well walk out with you.’

  They exchanged platitudes with the reception nurse on the way out to the corridor before swerving into a stairwell that led down into the foyer. The rain was still hammering down outside, rattling against the façade and echoing in her skull, right behind her eyes. She’d be hearing it in her sleep.

  ‘Wait a second.’

  Max twisted around. ‘What? What’s up?’

  Valerie was two steps above, spearing her fingers together and apart. ‘Listen, Max, I’ve got the European elections coming up. I need to be focused on that, I really do. But, afterwards, perhaps we could . . . I don’t know, have dinner or something.’

  Every muscle in her body ignited, blasting away the cold for a moment. It faded and left her clammy. She wiped her palms on her jeans then took another step down.

  ‘I only did what any decent human being would’ve done. Anyway, you came here with me so . . . we’re even.’

  ‘You think I’m trying to repay a debt?’

  Max shrugged. ‘You’re grateful. There’s no need for it.’

  ‘No.’ Valerie tucked her arms behind her back and straightened her shoulders. ‘I don’t suppose there is. I think I’ll call a taxi myself, if it’s all the same to you. There’s a firm I favour and I obviously don’t know your company at all. Excuse me.’

  Max stepped aside, groping for the banister to steady herself. It was enough to allow Valerie past then she continued to glide down the stairs without a backward glance.

  ‘Thank you,’ Max called.

  Valerie hesitated before carrying on her way. ‘You’re welcome.’

  Chapter 2

  The driveway was empty.

  Amy pulled her rucksack from her shoulder and fumbled in the front pocket for her keys. They came away tangled in her earphones and it took a minute to tease them free. She managed to open the door then glanced around to check if any of the neighbours were watching. The curtains fell back across at No. 7, but that was only Mr Larkford and no one cared for his gossip.

  Nothing was out of place in the hallway. Amy kicked off her shoes against the wall and took her bag through to the kitchen. She let it fall onto the tiled floor then rubbed her eyes to try and ease the pressure scraping inside her head. Her hands fell away as she heard something scuff across the carpet. She jolted back from the angular man in a familiar dressing gown until her spine cracked into the corner of the table.

  ‘Who the hell are you?’ he demanded. ‘The cleaner?’

  She clenched her fist. ‘No, I’m the daughter. So, why don’t you take off my dead dad’s dressing gown and put some clothes on like a good little boy?’

  ‘Daughter? I didn’t – I thought –’

  ‘Don’t you read those leaflets she makes you deliver? I’m here to make sure she fits into that happy family crap that everyone –’

  ‘That’s enough.’ Valerie swept into the kitchen with her silk dressing gown trailing behind her. ‘Rob, why don’t you go get dressed?’

  He sidestepped towards the door, almost tripping over the threshold. That left Amy looking around for something to do. There was nothing to move, nothing to clean. She settled for filling the kettle and setting it to boil. The rumble spurred Valerie into speech.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  Amy dug into the cupboard for her otter mug. ‘Where’s the car? Did you leave it outside a swanky bar because you were too interested in – How old is he, Mum?’

  ‘The car’s with the mechanic. A tyre went a few nights ago, left me stranded, and the inspection’s thrown up a raft of other issues. What are you doing here, sweetheart? You don’t usually come back through the week if you can help it.’

  ‘I needed to pick something up,’ she lied.

  ‘Well, you could’ve called me, I could’ve brought it to Clarice’s later. What is it, a dress or –’

  ‘Hold on a second. You keep whining that I’m not here enough, that it doesn’t look good in front of the neighbours. And, when I turn up, you just –’

  Valerie held up a hand. ‘I didn’t mean it that way. It’s a trek, that’s all, and you don’t usually choose to make it.’

  ‘I’ll give you notice in future, I’ll put it in writing.’

  ‘There’s really no need to be like this. It was a surprise, that’s all.’

  ‘Oh, I bet. Tell me, Mum, what is it you do? Give out bags of clothes with every shag? That’s one way to get rid of –’

  ‘Amy!’ Valerie scampered to close the door. ‘Will you please keep your voice down? I am an adult, I’m entitled to see who I want. Now, if I’d known you were going to be here –’

  ‘That doesn’t excuse it,’ she snapped.

  ‘You’ve made it abundantly clear you don’t want to live with me, sweetheart. What is it you expect me to do? Am I meant to be a nun? I’m 35, I can’t live that way.’

  ‘It’s not about that.’ The mug shook in Amy’s grasp. ‘Come on, how many members of your campaign team have you been screwing or have you lost count? So much for being serious about your new career in politics.’

  ‘I am serious, of course I am. It’s – it’s simpler, dealing with people that don’t expect a relationship. They understand the constraints of what I’m trying to do with my life and it serve its purpose. Unless you’re saying . . .’ Valerie twitched at her dressing gown and drew it closer to her throat. ‘I’ve deliberately kept myself away from anyone I might well and truly fall for. Do you want me to meet someone, bring them into this house?’

  ‘You don’t want that.’

  ‘How do you know? You haven’t asked. Without Clarice as a buffer we hardly communicate. I miss your father as much as you do and I need company, sweetheart. Every human being does. Perhaps I’m not going about it in the right way but . . . I’m not sure I know what that is.’

  Amy lowered her mug to the counter before it dropped. ‘Why would you?’

  ‘Hang on –’

  ‘Do you think he’ll be decent up there? Only I’d like to get to the study and I’d rather not bump into a naked man on my dad’s staircase, if you don’t mind. We’ll need to leave for Biddy’s no later than six if you haven’t got the car.’

  Valerie’s lips parted then she turned and plucked open the door. ‘Just leave Rob alone while you’re up there. If word got around –’

  ‘Don’t worry, your secret’s safe.’ Amy grabbed her rucksack on the way past. ‘Just like they always are.’

  The study was warm with the almond odour of Tim’s books.

  This smell used to soothe her. She’d sit as she was now, her back pressed against the side panel of the desk, with the leather spines towering over her. Tim would be tapping away at his computer and the sun would lower over the fields stretching away towards the horizon. He only turned on the desk lamp when she grumbled about the words of her comic blending together.

  ‘Are you ready to go, sweetheart?’

  Her head jerked forward. The door was open and Valerie was resting her shoulder against the frame. The silk dressing gown was gone, replaced by one of the grey suits that seemed to breed in her new fitted wardrobe.

  Amy pulled herself up with the sharp edge of the desk and stowed her books into her bag without making eye contact with Valerie. Then she stepped towards the curtains.

  ‘You can leave those,’ said Valerie.

  She ignored her and tugged the burgundy material across until the ruffled hem kissed the radiator. She stooped to pick up her bag before edging out of the study, keeping her chin low. The rustle that followed her down the staircase was the sound of Valerie returning the room to normal.

  Their walk to the local station was punctuated by businessmen racing home in their Audis and Mercedes. Valerie was an exotic anomaly, plunging on ahead through the pockets of
midges with her Ted Baker coat dazzling under the fading sunlight.

  The train shrieked as it drew alongside the platform. Glazed commuters spilled out of the doors and trooped towards the car park, leaving a deserted carriage for them to settle into. Amy pulled out her Law textbook and propped it up to block out Valerie’s inquisitive gaze. That strategy helped her survive until their stop, although she was startled when flashing lights greeted them at the roadside.

  She grabbed Valerie’s arm. ‘What are you doing dragging her out of the house?’

  ‘She offered. If she’d been having a bad day, she wouldn’t have.’

  ‘Yes, she would,’ Amy argued before pasting on a smile as the Kia window rolled down and a head popped out. ‘Hi, Biddy.’

  ‘Hello, dear. Did you have a good day?’

  ‘Not bad.’ She kissed her cheek then slipped into the back, warming her hands between her knees. ‘Are you sure you’re well enough to be out like this?’

  ‘Oh, shush,’ Biddy replied as Valerie installed herself in the passenger seat. ‘Put your seatbelts on, girls.’

  She veered onto the road with a flourish that had Valerie groping for the dashboard. The image brought a smirk to Amy’s face and she closed her eyes to keep hold of it for as long as possible. That allowed her to ignore the chit-chat ricocheting back and forth in the front of the car.

  Chapter 3

  ‘Maybe you’d best go home. I’ll tell him the same when he comes in.’

  Elena twisted her engagement ring from her finger. ‘Then he’ll get waylaid on the way back.’

  ‘Yeah, but you won’t be stuck here for God knows how long. Besides, if he does turn up now, he’ll be –’

  ‘You’re right, I know.’

  Max cast a glance through the greasy glass that divided the office from the waiting room. Mrs Brinsome had pitched up on one of the benches, straining against her walker to cop an earful. She caught Max looking and shot her a toothy grin before pulling on the loose threads of her magenta cardigan. Max turned back to Elena in time to see the engagement ring slip on again.

  ‘You’d be better at home,’ she said in a low voice. ‘Walls have ears around this place.’

  Elena moved to perch on the edge of the switchboard desk. Her eyes were paler up close, limp balls of stained chocolate rounded off with a hollow shell. She kept her fingers clutched onto her elbows, though the material of her shirt sagged around them.

  ‘I can’t take much more of this,’ she muttered.

  ‘I know.’ Max hesitated and fiddled with the volume on her headset. ‘I don’t think it’s deliberate, I don’t think he’s planning it.’

  ‘But he knows what he’s doing. He does – I’ve told him. Every time I try and talk to him, he just gets angry and it gets worse. It’s been months, Max. Does he think I don’t care about Andrew? Does he hate me? Is that it?’

  ‘He loves you. Maybe the more you tell him what a prat he’s being, the more he feels like he is one, then it repeats. With Drew, anything’s possible. It doesn’t mean he hates you.’

  Elena mustered a smile. ‘I thought he was turning up to work, I thought he was doing that at least. He’s stopped answering his phone when he’s out. I think he leaves it in the cab while he goes off drinking. He’s going to do something stupid, isn’t he?’

  ‘I don’t think he’s that far gone.’

  ‘Not yet.’ She paused and exhaled towards the ceiling. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you to it. You don’t need me prattling on.’

  ‘You’re welcome here, you know that. Just wish there was something I could do.’

  ‘Talk to him?’ Elena suggested. ‘He might take it coming from you. Make it about the business, tell him that he’s going to run it into the ground if he doesn’t get himself together. At least if he doesn’t love me anymore, he’ll do it for the business.’

  Max bit her lip then nodded. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

  There was more colour in Elena’s eyes as she slipped out of the dividing door then through the main one. It’d hardly closed before Mrs Brinsome shuffled her walker to the window.

  ‘Terrible do that was,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t know what the hold up for your car is, Mrs Brinsome. I’ll chase it up.’

  ‘Your Kevin told me all about it. Terrible do.’

  Max gritted her teeth as she radioed through to Raj. ‘All right, mate? You back at base yet? I’ve got Mrs Brinsome waiting.’

  ‘My lucky day,’ he answered. ‘I’m just pulling round the corner, I’ll meet her out front.’

  The switch went through an afternoon spurt once she’d got her office back. It tailed off until she managed to get more than two pages of her crumpled Terry Pratchett read at a time. She was just finishing the dregs of a stewed cuppa when Drew staggered in.

  He stumbled straight into the shelves that’d been up for three years and scattered empty binders over the carpet, glaring as if they’d jumped out into his way. It took him thirty seconds to work out what’d happened then he giggled and kicked one onto the side of the sofa. Max rose and thumped them back into the shelves one by one, ignoring the stench of the pub spreading through the office.

  ‘Where the hell have you been?’ she demanded.

  ‘Forgot work. Here now.’

  ‘You’re not fit to work. Go home.’

  He groaned and chafed at his beard. ‘Can’t I go to yours?’

  ‘Not again. I’ve already had Elena in here chewing my ear off because you didn’t have the bloody decency to go home last night. What are you trying to do?’

  His eyes locked on hers, sizzling until the fire sputtered out and she was staring into the same numb expression Elena had been wearing when she’d walked in earlier. He lowered his head and slumped into the switchboard chair, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  ‘Drew, mate . . .’

  She trailed off when the words wouldn’t come. The switch rang again and he grabbed the headset before she could, slurring his way through the beginnings of a call. Max leaned against the dividing glass, biting the tip of her thumb as he mispronounced the name “Gardener” five times in a row.

  The bell jangled behind her, announcing a customer. She swivelled then blinked to clear her vision when she assumed she was imagining things through the window.

  ‘Please say you remember me,’ Valerie murmured.

  Max blew out her breath. ‘Erm . . . yeah. Course I remember. Just wasn’t expecting to see you, that’s all.’

  ‘Well, I’m hoping it’s a nice surprise.’

  She opened her mouth then closed it again. Valerie’s sapphire eyes – the ones that she couldn’t get to calling just plain blue – matched her coat. There was nothing accidental about the way she put herself together. Max glanced down at her own mottled shirt and crusty jeans and cleared her throat.

  ‘Suppose you’re wanting a taxi.’

  Valerie’s chin dipped and she stepped backwards. ‘Never mind.’

  ‘No, wait. Wait.’ Max pressed her fist up against the glass. ‘I’m sorry, don’t go.’

  ‘You need to stop trying to scare me off,’ Valerie warned.

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Hmm, we’ll see. Anyway, I was nowhere near the area so I thought I’d pop in and see how you’re doing. Both of you.’

  Max frowned, not sure what she meant. Then she realised the mumbling in the corner had stopped. Drew was watching them with glazed eyes and a slack mouth.

  ‘Who’s this? She’s well fit.’

  ‘Ignore him,’ Max muttered. ‘He’s an idiot.’

  ‘Don’t be a bitch all your life.’ He rocked the chair back on its casters till it tipped and he grabbed for the desk to stay upright. ‘Okay, I’ll let you have that one.’

  Max’s cheeks burned. She gestured to the street and manoeuvred her way through the dividing door and narrow space without touching Valerie once. She could see her smirk from the corner of her eye, but she couldn’t bring herself to face her, not even when the
y were in the yard with an eight-foot brick wall between them and anyone else.

  ‘You can look at me, you know,’ Valerie said finally.

  She swallowed and shifted herself around. With the height difference, it was guaranteed she’d end up tasting that perfume she remembered from the nature reserve car park. It forced her away another foot and Valerie chuckled.

  ‘You don’t plan on making this easy, do you?’ she asked.

  ‘Sorry, I’m not – I don’t reckon –’

  ‘Okay, this may go a little faster if I talk and you just stand still for me. These heels aren’t built for chasing you around the town centre.’

  Max shuffled her feet, but said nothing. She was trying to keep her attention away from the blonde hair fluttering in the breeze, looking instead at a patch of weeds taking over the bottom gate.

  ‘You see, at first I was hurt about what happened at the hospital. I mean, there was a moment, wasn’t there? A few of them, actually. I’m not exactly used to people who are attracted to me holding back like that.’

  ‘I bet you’re not,’ Max murmured.

  ‘So, I was bemused, offended even. I put you out of my mind. Or, that is, I tried to. The fact that I couldn’t was proof enough that I should come down here and talk to you but . . . Well, you’d turned me down and, I have to say, I didn’t like it.’

  Max’s eyes had drifted to her face, despite herself. Nearly everything about Valerie this minute was precise. She could be on a podium, swishing her arms around and getting votes for it. Except there was something else. A bead of sweat below her hairline, a flick of her tongue every few seconds. Max knew she was nakedly staring now.

  ‘I started thinking about it,’ Valerie continued, meeting her gaze, ‘and I realised something. You rejected my invitation for the same reason you were delaying going to the hospital that night. Ironically enough, you rejected me because of the same reluctance that brought us together in the first place. Am I wrong?’