Only in Time

by Kelli McCracken

  “Ally-bear. There is more I need to tell you. About Jonah.”

  Sucking in a shaky breath, Ally pushed off the floor, rising to her feet. A lock of hair fell from her clasp as she shook her head. “I can’t deal with this tonight, Momma. I just can’t. Would you please go?”

  A tearful nod later, her mother left the recliner. “I’m sorry, Ally. For everything. I hope you can forgive me someday.” She watched her mother collect her purse before turning toward the door. Reaching it within seconds, she shot Ally one last look. “The most precious thing we have in life is time and love. While time may not always matter, love will. You’ll find the answer you’re looking for. If you open your eyes…and your heart.”

  * * *

  Swirling the glass of wine in her hands, Ally eyed the envelope again, wishing that she’d never read the letter. She could have gone the rest of her life without discovering the things she had today. Not just about her father, but Jonah as well.

  Her eyes shifted to the watch. She studied the second hand as it ticked away, knowing the time would be inaccurate. It’s where all her problems began. The second she received it. Had she not been late for the comedy show, she never would have run into Jonah at the bar.

  Unclasping it from her wrist she held it in her hands, examining the face. How could something so ordinary turn her life upside down with just the slowing of gears? This watch was cursed. Maybe it had been the reason Abigail Hamilton lost so much of her life. God knows it had stolen enough of hers.

  Without a second thought, she smashed the face of the watch against the table. Hearing the glass cracking against the wood sent of wave of satisfaction through her soul. She’d rid the watch of the curse and the evil it possessed. Another swing of her hand sent the watch back into the table. And then again. The assault continued, each strike filling Ally with a sense of control. She smashed it eight times before the back casing cracked open.

  Pinching the watch between her fingers, she pulled it apart. The gears continued to move, growing slower with each passing second. It wouldn’t be long before they stopped. Then she’d be rid of the gift. It would never steal another moment from anyone, least of all her.

  As she shifted focus to the back of the watch, she noticed rusty debris within it. She blew at the powder, choking on the dust particles floating in the air. God forbid she just spread some toxic disease that hadn’t existed since the 1800’s.

  Turning the casing between her fingers, the light above her hit on something under the residue. Ally rubbed at the powder, removing what she could with her fingertip. When her eyes gazed back inside, engraved words stared back at her.

  The heart does not see through blind eyes. Only the mind. Time matters not…

  As the words replayed in Ally’s mind, she remembered them coming from Twila’s lips. How they were the same words attached to the letter that arrived with the watch for Abigail. Even her mother had said similar words before leaving.

  The back fell from her fingers, clinking against the table. She stared at the front of the watch, trying to understand the message within it. Flipping it over, a trail of ice spread down her spine, crawling its way over her skin as she stared at the face. No cracks marred the glass. Not even a scratch.

  It couldn’t be possible. She’d slammed the watch too many times to not leave a mark.

  Tossing it back to the table, she stood from her chair, refusing to let the watch torment her any longer. She’d only taken a step away before the floor shifted beneath her, sending her back on her bottom.

  She struggled for a breath, but no air greeted her lungs. Nor did the table greet her eyes. In fact, nothing did. Not even the walls surrounding her. Maybe because they no longer did. A blur of images swirled around her, like scenes of her life on a movie screen. Then her stomach dipped, as though gravity no longer contained her.

  A bitter shot of liquid burned the back of her throat, making her mouth water. She prayed she wouldn’t vomit. Prayed that her mind would clear enough for her to make it to her room. Then she could pass out.

  Just as quickly as the nausea hit, the urge receded. As did the spinning room. Ally turned from the table, ready to run for her bed, but she no longer stood in her kitchen. Or house for that matter.

  A covered porch blocked the sunrays above her. As she stared at the outer brick wall of the home, a chord of familiarity struck her heart. Especially when she noticed the porch swing in the distance.

  While the child within wanted to run to the swing and jump inside, the sound of voices drew her attention to the door behind her. She rubbed her eyes once, swearing she must have passed out. This had to be a dream. It was the only logical explanation for the scene unfolding before her eyes.

  Her mother stood with her back to the door she’d just closed. She didn’t look Ally’s way. Only stared at the young man in front of her. The young man who made Ally’s heart skip a beat.

  Jonah.

  CHAPTER 10

  Ally stepped closer to the door where her mother and Jonah stood. She waved her hands above her, hoping to gain their attention, but it didn’t work. Neither acknowledged her presence.

  A few more steps brought her to their side, her mind equally consumed with the words spilling from her mother’s lips as much as Jonah’s.

  “You can’t tell her, Jonah. Ally needs to get away from this place. She needs to be away from you. You’ll do nothing but lead her down a life of regret. I know you’ve been drinking my liquor.”

  “I’d never do anything to hurt your daughter. She’s the reason I stopped drinking. That and the fact that she needs someone dependable in her life. God knows you haven’t been that person, Pauline.”

  Her mother stepped closer to Jonah, peering into his eyes. “Her father wanted her to go north. It had always been his dream for her. If you tell her how you feel, she’ll never leave. She’ll follow you instead. Give her a shot at life, Jonah. She’d hate you for keeping her from her father’s wishes.”

  Jonah took a step back, leaning into one of the brick posts. His brows folded over his eyes as he refused to back down from her mother. “You can’t live your daughter’s life, Pauline. She has a right to decide what she wants to do. I won’t stand in the way if she chooses to leave, but I’m not letting her leave without knowing the truth. I love her. I’ve always loved her. I know she has feelings for me, too. And your husband approved.”

  Her mother gazed over her shoulder, as though she expected someone to open the door. But after a moment of silence, she moved across the porch, jabbing a finger in Jonah’s chest. “You tell my daughter anything, I swear to you, I’ll make sure she never talks to you again. It would be a shame for her to find out about you and Cassie.”

  “There is no me and Cassie. There never has been and you know it.”

  “I’m sure I can convince my daughter otherwise.”

  Ally snapped her lids shut. Her mother wouldn’t have threatened to lie about Jonah and Cassie. Not when she knew how much they meant to her. This had to be a dream. The stress of the day had taxed her beyond her limits. She’d definitely passed out earlier. Now if she could figure out how to wake herself.

  As she watched Jonah hang his head, an ache formed in the center of her chest. He said nothing more to her mother as he turned to walk away. And as his image began to fade, so did the scenery.

  Another blur of images spun around her, lifting her along the sands of time. When her vision finally cleared, the rich scent of night jasmine teased her nose. A black sky stretched above her, providing the perfect background for the stars that twinkled across it.

  Searching for the constellations, her eyes shifted to the low hanging branches of an oak tree. Spanish moss intertwined with the leaves, leaving a breathtaking sight. As did the couple standing beneath it.

  She’d recognized Jonah the instant she saw the messy pile of dark curls. But to see the young woman standing across from him… Her eighteen-year-old image gazed at the man that held her heart, now and then.


  The smile spreading across Jonah’s lips sent a scorching trail of heat through her body. His eyes danced over her younger version’s face, increasing the curl of his lips. As his mouth parted, she gripped the tree beside her, waiting to hear the words that hadn’t left her memory since the day he spoke them.

  “I need to tell you something.”

  She watched herself nod as the space between them began to decrease. Second by heart pounding second, Jonah’s face leaned closer to hers, the heat in his eyes as consuming as she remembered. And just when his lips hovered above hers, he pulled away.

  The pain of his rejection ripped through her heart again. Just like it did in this moment six years prior. But unlike the last time, she noticed the moisture collecting in Jonah’s eyes as he glanced away.

  “I’ve decided to hit the road with Theo. We’re heading to New Orleans to meet with a guy Jesse knows. It might be the break we’ve been looking for. I have to try.”

  Her younger version nodded as she turned away, moving her eyes to the ground. She didn’t need to see the way her lip trembled to feel the ache in her heart. The pain still beat a crushing rhythm.

  “I don’t blame you for following your dreams, Jonah. I’ll be doing the same in a few days. I have nothing keeping me here. Just a recovering alcoholic mother and painful memories of my father.”

  Ally mouthed every single word with her younger self, allowing the ache she’d felt back then to consume her once more. If only Jonah had realized the words were her last attempt to see if he cared about her. His last chance to prove that she meant the same as he meant to her.

  Silence had been her only answer at the time, but as she watched the scene unfold, she realized how much the words did affect him. The way he reached for her, stopping himself short of touching her shoulder. How his chest heaved with a deep sigh when he dropped his hand back to his side.

  Guess their decisions had hurt him just as much as it hurt her.

  As her heart resonated in her ears, Ally closed her eyes, hating the feel of wet warmth on her cheeks. Why was she reliving this painful memory? More than that. She had witnessed a conversation between her mother and Jonah that she never knew existed.

  She wanted to scream at her younger self to tell the truth. To let Jonah know how much she loved him. Even opened her eyes to do just that, but the scene had changed once more.

  No longer standing under the tree, she gazed around at the crisp white walls adorned with dozens of picture frames. The blue and white flowered sofa hit another familiar chord. But not as much as the young man standing in the hallway.

  This scene, just like the first, had not come from her memory. She’d never known about her mother and Jonah’s previous argument, or the current one unfolding inside her old house.

  Standing a few feet from the staircase, Jonah glared at her mother, who’d just come down the stairs. She clutched a glass in her hand, sipping on the clear beverage as she started to pass him. Jonah cut her off instead.

  “I can’t do this, Pauline. I can’t go to that station and watch her leave knowing her heart is broken.”

  “It’s for the best, Jonah. She’ll recover. You’re honoring a dead man’s wish. For his daughter to attend Harvard. Robert deserves that after the sacrifice he made. You need to let this go.” Stepping to the side, her mother brushed past Jonah on her way to the hallway table. She slipped her hands inside her purse searching for what Ally assumed were her keys.

  Jonah refused to back down. He followed her mother to the table, leaning in closer as he inhaled a deep breath. “Is that booze I smell on your breath?”

  Her mother spun around, revealing a set of rosy cheeks. From embarrassment or from alcohol consumption, Ally couldn’t say, but guilt wavered in her mother’s eyes.

  “That’s absurd, Jonah. You’ve lost your mind. I quit drinking a month ago. If you don’t want to see my daughter off then go home. I’m going to say goodbye.”

  “You’re not going anywhere.” Jonah’s fingers wrapped around a set of keys just a foot away from her mother’s purse. He deflected a swat from her mother, curling the keys inside his hand.

  “Give me my keys, Jonah. You’re not going to rob me of this last moment with my little girl.”

  “What’s one moment, Pauline? You’re robbing your daughter and me of a lifetime. Besides, you’re drunk. I’m not letting you get behind the wheel in your condition. Go sleep it off.”

  Swiping at the keys dangling above her head, her mother stumbled into the table, knocking her purse onto the floor. All the contents within spilled out. “Great!” she shouted.

  Jonah leaned over to help clean up the mess. As he scooped up a handful of items, his eyes hesitated on something else. A second later, he pulled an envelope from the floor, unfolding the letter it contained. He read each word in haste, moving his eyes back and forth. By the time her mother noticed, Jonah’s mouth gaped open.

  Flashing her mother a wide-eyed gaze, dark curls brushed against his face each time he shook his head. “Is this real?” Once her mother nodded in affirmation, Jonah fell back on his butt. “Does Ally know about this?”

  “No, she doesn’t. Nor will she. It would break her heart.”

  “She has a right to know. How much do you plan on hiding from her, Pauline?”

  Gripping the paper in her hand, her mother jerked it forward, along with Jonah. “This is none of your business, Jonah. Leave it be!”

  Unable to keep his hold on the envelope, Jonah stood to his feet. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You sit high on your judgmental horse, acting as though you’re saving your daughter from a hoodlum like me. Knowing all the while that you’ve kept a devastating secret from her.”

  “You’ll never prove it, Jonah,” her mother snorted, waving the letter in his face. “I have the proof. All you have is accusations. You’ve already broken my daughter’s heart. She won’t believe anything else you have to say.”

  “Maybe she won’t, Pauline. That’s a chance I’ll have to take. Too bad you won’t be there to see how it all plays out.” He shook her mother’s keys in her face. Laughter echoed off the walls when she tried to grab them from his hands.

  “Damn it, Jonah, give me those keys. We’ll both end up missing her if you don’t.”

  Jonah sidestepped her mother’s advances, tucking the keys into his back pocket. “You can’t go anywhere. You’re drunk, Pauline. If you get behind the wheel, you’ll kill someone. Maybe even your daughter, who could have changed her mind and is on her way back.”

  The anger in her mother’s face faded. Guess Jonah’s words had sunk in. Finally.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, Ally watched as he curled his fingers around her mother’s arms, nudging her toward the living room. “Come on. Let’s get you to the couch.”

  She didn’t put up a fight. Even laid her head against the cushioned armrest as tears streamed from her eyes. “I was trying to do the right thing. For once. That poor girl. I’ve put her though hell.”

  Tucking a knitted blanket across her legs, Jonah kneeled beside the couch. “Then change, Pauline. Stop the drinking. Go back to church. Try therapy. You need to clean up your act so you can have a relationship with your daughter. Before it’s too late.”

  Wiping her face with the back of her hand, her mother nodded. “Maybe I was wrong about you, Jonah. You really do love my Ally, don’t you?”

  “If love means you want to give every part of your heart and soul to another person, just to make them happy, then yes. I love your daughter with every part of me. Do you, Pauline? Do you love her enough to lay off the sauce?”

  “Yes,” her mother nodded, moving her eyes to the ceiling. “Starting tomorrow, I’ll never drink another drop.”

  The glimpse of hope that played in Jonah’s eyes diminished. He turned his head toward the piano, where Ally stood watching the scene unfold. While she knew he couldn’t see her, she could see pain in his eyes. Could hear it in his voice as it shook. “You always say that, but
you’ve never followed through. I don’t know if you ever will.”

  “I will.”

  Jonah shook his head again. He stepped away from the edge of the couch, making his way across the living room floor with long strides. His feet didn’t stop until he reached the archway. Giving her mother one final look, Ally didn’t miss the way tears spilled from his eyes, over his cheeks. Nor did her mother.

  “I have your keys, Pauline. I’ll bring them back later, after I stop Ally. She isn’t going to New York to fulfill a dream. The only reason she’s leaving is because she doesn’t feel like she has anyone here. I’m going to prove her wrong.” The door swung open as he stepped outside, issuing out one final promise. “I’m going to show her she does have someone here. Someone that loves her. I’m going to show her she has me.”

  As Jonah’s image faded from Ally’s sights, she braced herself as the room began to shift once more. Her head grew lighter with each spin. Then the sensation began to slow, filling the scenery with blurry images. And when the fog of confusion lifted, Ally found herself standing on a cement pad. A long pad that held wooden posts and a large tin roof.

  The scent of oil and grease penetrated her nose. Along with a whiff of diesel. It only took her a second to realize where she stood. In the middle of the loading dock of the train station. And she wasn’t alone.

  Standing just a few feet away, a man stood in front of her. Judging by the long hair that poked out from underneath his Georgia Bulldogs hoodie, he couldn’t be more than twenty.

  Inside his clenched hand lay a paper. One he held on to for dear life. Or at least she thought before he released his grip. The paper floated to the ground, barely skimming the pavement before the man stepped away. As he drew closer, she couldn’t help but notice the way his cheek shimmered in the fluorescent lights above. Her heart ached for the man. For the pain that caused the tears on his face. She wanted to ask him what caused his pain, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Could only blink away the tears that filled his.