He was defeated but not yet ready to raise the white flag. If she wanted distance for the day, he would give it to her. But if the opportunity arose to get her alone tonight or tomorrow, he would take it, and he'd press his suit the only way he knew how. The only way that broke through the steel wall of her mind. She had come to pieces for him before, and he could do it again and again until she was so blinded by desire, so seduced by his touch that she couldn't live without it.
Only then might she agree to spend the rest of her life with him, pursuing all the things she loved with him by her side rather than alone. In all his life, he'd never wanted something so much.
It consumed him, and just like that, he knew he was in love.
He now understood everything his Uncle Stuart had said about his parents, about love.
Chapter 18
Josie followed Georgie and Jeanie through a round of introductions to Lady Kirkland's guests. But after a while, when the conversation became stilted and awkward, Jeanie suggested they explore the grounds. Georgie and Josie agreed. Kirkland Manor was a massive estate. If Josie could summon the whole of it in one word, it would be…expensive.
Everything was perfect. The gravel paths, the square box gardens, the ivy climbing up the wall. It must take more servants and money than Josie cared to calculate. Georgie fell behind as she usually did on walks, easily distracted by plants and whatever animal she happened to spot. With Georgie out of earshot, Josie took the opportunity to address the tension between them. As her closest sister besides Luna, Josie hated that there was something so negative—especially when it was a man—between them.
Josie fiddled with the ribbons on her dress, choosing her words carefully. “It's a lovely day today,” she began.
“Yes,” Jeanie replied.
“I wonder how big their library is,” Josie asked.
“You might have a chance to see it.”
Josie touched the pale pink petal of a rose and marveled at its softness. She glanced at Jeanie, who also admired the flowers.
“I'm sorry,” she said after a moment.
Jeanie smiled, cupping a large rose in her hand like a teacup. “I appreciate the apology.”
Josie bit her lip. “For all my knowledge, men seem to be my most ignorant topic of late.”
Jeanie raised a brow. “You are admitting to not knowing something?”
“I will, of course, rectify that,” Josie returned. She already had somewhat. She knew a great deal about men physically now and about pleasure, but men—specifically one man—occupied most of her thoughts.
She didn't yet understand him and the ambiguity terrified her. Was he true to his word? Was he only using her?
Jeanie laughed. “How?”
Josie shrugged. She wasn't about to admit she’d been meeting secretly with Patrick. She would never hear the end of it from Jeanie. Not to mention, she would reek of hypocrisy. Josie knew of their differences, but Jeanie would not see it that way. Jeanie would never understand her interest had been academic, no matter how skewed things were now.
“I will interview a subject extensively and take notes.” She hoped that was ridiculous enough to distract her sister on the subject.
“You mean a man? What man would agree to this?”
“It just so happens, Lord Selhorst is rather academically minded like myself and has agreed to let me study him.”
Jeanie blinked at her as if she'd gone mad. “Study him? Do let me know what your study findings reveal.”
Josie smiled. “I think I also might write a book.” There were plenty of books written by men. But she'd yet to find the perspective of a woman. She'd have to make up an identity to publish it. Perhaps she'd be a merry widow.
“And what would you title such a book?” Jeanie asked, smothering a giggle.
“I'm not sure what to call it,” Josie said. “It will come to me.”
“Good day, Miss Marsden, Miss Josette. Am I interrupting?”
Josie looked past her sister to see Lord Luckfeld. Her mood plummeted by several degrees. He surveyed the garden, his expression bored.
“If you're going to ask to be alone with her, forget it,” Josie said.
Jeanie blushed and turned to Josie with a withering glare. “Josie,” she scolded.
Lord Luckfeld grinned.
“I wasn't. I'm looking for Mr. Cage, have you seen him?”
Mr. Cage?
“I haven't seen him since we arrived,” Josie said. She peered around the garden. “Where is Georgie? Are they back at the party?”
“Why don't you go and look and we’ll keep looking here?” Lord Luckfeld suggested.
Josie didn't hide her contempt or her suspicion. “You'd like me to, wouldn't you?”
His cold gaze met hers. “That is why I suggested it, yes. We’ll cover more ground if we split up.”
She bristled, but then a thought struck her.
“Why is that important?” And then she realized what he was trying not to infer. “You think they are together? Georgie and Mr. Cage?”
Impossible…
Well, maybe not impossible. She'd seen them talking frequently enough.
“Hush,” Jeanie hissed.
“We don't know that,” he said, “but if they are, since I know they have developed a friendship, we should be the ones to find them.”
“How long has Georgie been gone? She was right behind us,” Josie said.
“She fell behind,” Jeanie answered, “but I'm not sure how long she was out of sight. We were on the other side of the garden when she broke away from us.”
Lord Luckfeld directed them one way and they followed. He offered his arm to both her and Jeanie. They returned to the place where they entered the garden, but there was no sign of Georgie or Mr. Cage. Along one side was a very tall, strange plant with a heavy wooden door built right into it. Intrigued, Josie moved closer to touch the thick wooden poles.
“Is this real, what is this?” she asked.
“It’s called bamboo,” Lord Luckfeld answered. “It forms the perimeter of Lord Kirkland's paradise garden.”
“Fascinating,” Josie whispered.
“It's not part of the grounds open to the guests,” he added. “The landscape is delicate.”
“We should look,” Jeanie said behind Josie.
“Someone must remain here to ensure no one comes upon us.” Lord Luckfeld turned to Josie. “Are you up for the task?”
She folded her arms. “Why me? This sounds like another ploy to get Jeanie alone.”
“Must you argue everything?” Jeanie asked, clearly annoyed with Josie.
Josie sighed. “Very well, take a quick look.
Lord Luckfeld pushed the gate open, and Josie waited outside of it while he and Jeanie slipped inside. She peeked around the door and what she could see startled her.
The paradise garden, he had called it. She would definitely have to read up on that.
There was something about the architecture of the garden that was so foreign and delicate. She would definitely need to find out more about it. She was curious to go farther in after Jeanie and Lord Luckfeld disappeared around a strange bush, but she stayed where she was. If she listened carefully, she could hear the trickle of water, and her curiosity only increased.
“But I want to see,” she whispered.
She sighed and turned away. She would only be more distracted, staring into the garden rather than looking out. Her job was to keep watch, after all. She waited, arms folded, tapping her foot and surveying the boxed garden for people who might suddenly appear. She didn't know how much time passed, but it felt like forever until Jeanie and Lord Luckfeld appeared with Georgie and Mr. Cage following them.
“The path is clear,” Josie whispered, taking note of Georgie's flushed cheeks—and not exactly ruffled appearance, but glowing.
Josie bit her tongue. She knew that look. She'd seen it on herself.
Georgie and Mr. Cage had not been up to innocent exploring.
; The heavy gate closed behind them, and Lord Luckfeld made up some excuse for him and Mr. Cage to leave.
Jeanie grabbed Georgie's arm, and they turned back toward the lawn where the tents were erected and refreshments were being served for the guests. Josie remained silent, though there was much she wanted to say to both her sisters, but she bit her tongue because she was being hypocritical. If Jeanie had claimed to love Lord Luckfeld, who was she to say she couldn't? And if Georgie felt the same way about Mr. Cage… Josie hadn't a prayer of convincing Georgie otherwise.
Georgie's will was just as strong as Josie's. Josie would've never thought Georgie could fall for a rogue’s practiced skills, but they either all had or maybe just Josie had. She didn't know. They returned to the other guests and Lady Elaine, Lady Kirkland's niece, introduced another guest that had recently arrived, Lady Henrietta. She was a beautiful, tall, blonde woman with cornflower blue eyes. She looked, Josie summarized, just like the Kirkland lands, expensive and rather perfect, she had to admit.
She greeted all of them with a warm smile and idly waved a fan encrusted with clear crystals that twinkled over her skin.
“I am so pleased to introduce my dearest friend, newly arrived from a visit to Bath, Lady Henrietta,” Lady Elaine said. “She's taken London by storm and, rumor has it, has claimed the heart of the most eligible bachelor of the season, though”—she scanned the area past their little group—“I don't see him at present.”
“He'll come around, I'm sure,” Lady Henrietta said.
“No doubt, once he knows you’ve arrived at last,” Lady Elaine assured her. “He won't be able to stay away, though he isn't part of this house party.”
All of Josie's senses went on alert. A guest of Selbourne?
A foreboding tingle slipped down her spine.
Lady Henrietta focused on them, speaking to Georgie. “I do believe I've heard of the Northumberland Nine. How quaint to finally meet you in person.”
“Oh, yes, I’m Miss Georgette and this is my sister, Miss Jeanette, and the next youngest, Miss Josette.”
“Oh, do you all have names ending in ‘ette’? How novel,” Lady Henrietta said. “My name is quite similar, but I am the only one in my family.” She cocked her head to the side. “And you live near?”
“We are neighbors to both Kirkland and Selbourne,” Georgie replied. “Our home is situated between the castle and Kirkland Manor.”
Lady Henrietta tittered. “The little house I passed in my carriage is your home? My, you must sleep on top of each other!” She laughed, and those standing nearest to her who heard her words, laughed too.
An angry blush climbed up Josie's cheeks. There were a few choice words she could say, most of them Shakespearean insults that most wouldn't understand, but she knew she would only embarrass herself and her sisters by uttering them.
“An amusing thought, but not really,” Georgie replied. “We’re a cozy family. 'Tis a pleasure to meet you, my lady.”
“Likewise, Miss Georgette.”
Well done. They turned away, by unspoken agreement, to find some place away from Lady Kirkland's guests, but before they’d gone far, Mr. Cage was striding across the lawn straight toward them.
“Oh!” Lady Elaine exclaimed, “There is your soon-to-be husband now.”
Josie heard Georgie's indrawn breath. They meant Mr. Cage? This did not bode well for Georgie.
“I told you he couldn't stay away,” Lady Henrietta replied to Lady Elaine.
Georgie stumbled but then righted herself. “I need to sit. My knee is hurting.”
Mr. Cage stopped right before them. “Our party is departing,” he said.
“So soon?” Jeanie asked.
“Return to the castle immediately,” he whispered and then pivoted around them.
“What is going on?” Josie asked as they moved away. “Did something happen?”
“We don't know,” Jeanie replied.
Georgie was pale, nearly vibrating with anger. “Did either of you catch the meaning behind Lady Henrietta's remarks and Mr. Cage's arrival?” Georgie asked
Josie's stomach turned over for Georgie. She was so upset.
“I did,” Josie said. She wasn't going to ignore what was so plainly obvious. They started to walk again.
“Does it sound like they have an understanding?” Georgie asked.
“As far as I understand what an understanding is, yes, why?” Josie asked, knowing the answer, but she knew Georgie would need to say something to vent the steam she was feeling like a teapot.
“Nothing, just something I was thinking about.”
Josie wanted to reach for her hand, but Jeanie was between them.
“None of these gentlemen came to this party knowing they would be courting us,” Jeanie said. “We have no claim to any of them.”
Josie thought that was a bit cruel.
Georgie began to walk faster, breaking into a near run and leaving them behind.
“Wait!” Josie called.
“I have to use the ladies’ room. I cannot wait,” Georgie said and then she broke into a run.
“What is the matter with her?” She'd never known Georgie to avoid confrontation. She was the bravest of them all and the strongest. It wasn't like her to hide her feelings.
“I don't know,” Jeanie said.
“You do, you just don't want to tell. Everyone is keeping secrets. Fine. I've got secrets of my own.” Josie marched ahead, leaving Jeanie behind.
Josie would've gone to her room, but Jeanie was close on her heels, so she went to the library instead, the place that brought her the most comfort. Collapsing onto the chaise lounge, she held the little circular pillow to her chest, and a sob wrenched itself from her throat. That was all she was willing to let out.
She bit her lip and fisted her hand so tightly her nails dug into her skin. She let the pain drown out the ruckus of emotions inside her until she felt in control once again. She beat them into submission, at least for a little while, but she didn't know what to do next. She was no closer to understanding herself than she was to understanding her sisters—who it now seemed were also forming secret attachments to the gentlemen of this party. But what Josie found most difficult to believe was that any of them would result in marriage, even though Patrick had already proposed.
None of it made sense.
Wealthy gentleman did not marry poor women. They were all friends running in the same circles together, and no doubt went to brothels and gaming hells together. Josie was skeptical they would all of a sudden change their tune and find themselves at the will of love and want to be married. It was far more likely all three gentlemen were playing a game with them, taking whatever they could get, amusing themselves. Then when it was time to leave, they would go back to their expensive lives and marry women like Lady Henrietta. That was what happened in the real world.
Josie had had enough. She wasn't going to be a pawn in someone else's game. She was just as smart, just as strong, not physically of course, but mentally as any man here. She was going to give Patrick a taste of his own medicine. She would use him to get what she wanted.
He said he wouldn't bed her unless they married, but she would prove a woman could seek her own pleasure, and the world wouldn't collapse because of it. He could return to the big city and marry himself a rich heiress without any guilt.
Her heart pounded and her stomach did a slow roll. A picture of Patrick standing next to Lady Henrietta filled her head. She banished the vision. She didn't want to think about whom he might marry. In time he'd forget her, though her heart might not forget him and her body might not either.
She would learn to live with the regret.
No, not regret.
Because this was about science. This was about changing the perception of men and women. Women weren’t different when it came to passion. They were not ruined.
She stilled as she heard the soft pat of footfalls on the carpet, as if she had summoned him from her thoughts.
Or pe
rhaps he was following the trail of her scent.
She peeked over the railing, and he happened to look up just as she did.
Chapter 19
“Are you all right?”
“Come up here,” she said.
She went to the door of the balcony and locked it. She heard his steps climbing up the spiral staircase. He slowly approached her, his expression a mask of concern, and Josie straightened. Everything about him could be nothing more than a portrayal. She had to remember that. She had to believe her own instincts and lessons she learned throughout her life. She couldn't let false promises and intoxicating emotions sway her judgment.
“I'm fine,” she said.
“I thought you might be upset after the way we had to leave the party.”
“I'm not,” she lied.
“Do you know what happened?” he asked.
Josie looked away, her stomach knotting. Lots of things happened today. Lots of revelations about her sisters but she wasn't going to share them with him.
“I didn't see anything amiss. I was in the garden with Jeanie and Georgie. Lord Luckfeld and Mr. Cage were with us momentarily, but that's all.”
“Hmm,” he murmured. “It is troubling. I've been thinking,” he said.
Oh no, that couldn't be good. She really had no experience for this reasoning except for her own father's influence. Whenever he said, “I have an idea,” all of them cringed. But Patrick was nothing like her father, which may be one of his best qualities. He was intelligent, considerate, clever… She couldn't be swayed by her heart or any softer emotion right now, but her own body was against her because even the timbre of his deep voice, a little gruff with a slight burr, wove through the air and moved over her senses.
The way the first strain of the cello vibrated through one's body, and now she would never be able to hear a cello again and not think of how sensual it sounded. It was damn near seducing, the timbre of his voice.
The Five Second Rule For Kissing: The Northumberland Nine Series Page 14