“Bullshit,” Rory said, shaking his head. “I call bullshit. It totally applies to you.”
I told you that they wouldn’t buy it. I shook my head and sighed. The truth of the matter was that nothing would’ve made me happier than being able to find a cute guy to take to the dance. I would love to walk in there with my head held high and not giving a damn about what everyone else thought. Sadly, I was nowhere ready for that kind of spotlight.
“Guys, we’ve talked about this–” I started to say.
Rory held up a hand in a halting gesture. I knew enough to shut up and listen to what he had to say.
“No, you talked we listened. Which is fine, but you can't just spend the rest of high school avoiding every social gathering. People will think it’s weird.”
“You are no weirder than Noah Kaplan,” Rory said.
I frowned at my friend’s comment. “That sounds kind of harsh.”
Rory shook his head and started ticking things off in his fingers. “First off, the guy never washes his hair, second off, he always eats lunch by himself. Hell, you can’t even find in the quad or in the cafeteria most days.”
“That’s really not fair,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s never done anything to us, and if you remember, we used to hang out all the time."
But even as I was saying those words, I felt very hypocritical. Noah had been in our class since the second grade. We attended the same birthday parties growing up, played with the same kids on the playground. It wasn’t until sixth grade that people started making fun of the short kid with long greasy hair and a lisp. I knew how the kids treated him, but figured it was all in good fun.
Neither Rory, Tab, or I had ever made fun of him. However, none of us had ever really gone out of our way to make him feel all that welcome either. I shook my head. I couldn’t solve the world’s problems. Hell, I could barely deal with my own life.
“People already think I’m weird,” I insisted, getting back to our previous conversation.
Tab was shaking his head. “They don’t think you are weird, although if you bring up that lightsaber fighting you do, they might think you are. Maybe you could just think about it. I mean, after all, as you said, it is far away.”
I opened my mouth to object instantly, but then saw the looks on their faces. Shit, they were sincere and everything. We are sixteen year old guys, we’re not supposed to be sincere about anything. Well, aside from sports teams.
“There isn’t a lot to think about,” I said, glancing between Rory and Tab. “I mean, there aren’t any other gay guys at school.”
“At least, none that we know about,” Rory said. He got another grin on his face. “But, statistically speaking, there has to be at least one other gay kid in school.”
I shook my head. “Even if there was, there is no guarantee that I would be attracted to him or that he would be attracted to me. I don’t think that finding me a date is going to be that easy.”
“So, you’re just going to give up?” Tab asked. “I mean, for christ’s sake, it’s 2018, man! This whole being gay thing is totally cool, right?”
I shook my head again. I understood what it was that Tab was saying. There were a ton of gay celebrities that were out and proud and the world, as a whole, at least seemed to be getting a lot more tolerant. But that was different, those were people that had already made it. They had already been through the trauma of high school. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to do that. Sure, I had my parents on my side, and now my friends, but I wasn’t ready for that kind of challenge.
“You coming out could be a good thing,” Rory said. “That might give other kids the balls to do the same. You could start a whole movement.”
“I don’t want to start a movement!” I said in a hushed whisper. “I want to be normal. At least, as normal as I can be right now.”
“That’s bullshit,” Rory said as he shook his head. “You’re just as normal as the rest of us. You came out to us, that takes balls. You could help others.”
“I’m not ready for that. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be ready for that.”
“Other people could use your help.” Rory tried again.
“Sure,” I lied. “I’ll think about it.”
Rory stared at me for a moment before turning back to his lunch. I got the distinct impression that he didn’t entirely buy my comment about thinking about it. Maybe they would both be so involved with finding their own dates that I could fly under the radar. Or maybe I’d come down with some horribly contagious but non life-threatening illness. I’d have to check google later. WebMD was a wealth of knowledge. Maybe I could use its power for good.
I had a feeling that Rory wasn’t going to let that be the last of that conversation. It was easier for him to say things like that, though. It wasn’t his life that we were talking about. I shook my head and tried to get our minds off the subject of dating.
“Ready for practice tomorrow?” I asked.
“Coach is going to kill us.”
“Nah,” Rory said. “He’s probably going to be in the best mood of his whole life.”
“And why would you think that?” I asked.
“Dude got married, that has to make him happy.”
“I’m not sure that the coach has ever been happy,” I retorted. “Really, the guy acts pissed off 100% of the time, even when we are doing what he tells us to.”
Rory rolled his eyes at that statement. “He’s not that bad.”
“So, back to this class president thing,” Tab said, fixing Rory with an intense stare. Well, as intense a stare that I had ever seen Tab give someone. “You got a slogan? A platform? What about a budget? How much money do I have to work with here?”
“Now, you sound like a politician,” Rory complained.
He wasn’t wrong about that.
“What? I need to know what I am working with here,” Tab insisted. “Who else is running? Any ideas?”
Rory shrugged. “I’m not sure, although I would guess Hunter. Maybe Scott Vance.”
“Why would Hunter want to run?” I asked.
“Because he thinks that it will make him look cool,” Rory suggested with another shrug of his shoulders. “I dunno, just guessing here.”
“And Scott Vance?” Tab asked. He was already scribbling something down in his notebook. “Why would that little runt run? He’s the jackass that accused the junior high baseball coach of messing with records so that a freshman could play. No one is going to vote for him.”
“And is being on student government cool?” I asked. Both Rory and Tab looked at me. “No, I mean, I’m really asking here. It wasn’t that cool in junior high. Did that change or something?”
I had never known Rory to simply do something because it was cool, although I suppose it was possible. Usually, he was a stand-up guy that didn’t do anything unless he actually wanted to. I couldn’t imagine him getting into something as important as student government just because he thought it might help him get a date.
“I’m doing it because I want to,” Rory answered. “Not because I want to look cool or to get a date with a girl. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Um, kinda, yeah?” Tab asked.
I smacked him on the back of the head.
“If that’s what you want,” I said. “I’ll back you up 100%.”
“Thank you,” said Rory. He looked over at Tab.
“What?” Tab asked, raising his eyebrows. “I just told you that I would be your campaign manager. I’ve totally got your back on this one. I mean, I’m still confused about it, but I’ll help.”
“Cool,” Rory said. He glanced down at his watch. “Alright, lunch is about over. See you guys after school?”
“I have saber practice to get too,” I said. “Finals are coming up in a few weeks and I want to make sure that I can beat Liam this time around.”
“Liam?” Tab asked. “And there are finals for that sort of thing?”
I blushed, feeling instantly embarrassed b
y how excited I seemed about the dueling finals. The thing about it was, though, I really liked it. I got a thrill when I stepped out onto that mat and fired up my lightsaber. Well, not a real one, but you get my drift. I know how stupid it sounds, but the physical release relaxed me. It helped settle my mind, just like gymnastics practice. I, of course, wasn’t going to say any of this to Rory and Tab, especially since Tab had already admitted that he found the whole thing more than a little weird.
“Duh, it’s a competition,” Rory said.
“Not all the time,” I said. “But, yeah, there are some of us that enjoy pushing each other’s skills.”
“With a fake laser sword?” Tab asked.
Rory shot him an evil look. “It’s called a lightsaber.”
Tab waved that comment away. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s get back to this Liam character.”
“I haven’t seen him since last year,” I said. “He’s this dorky kid that managed to win on a technicality. I want to make sure that I beat him this year.”
“What kind of technicality?”
“One of Henry’s feet landed outside the sparring area,” Rory said as he packed up his lunch. “Instant DQ, which sucked because I was pretty sure that Henry had more points.”
“There are points involved?”
“Yes, there are points involved,” I said, looking at Tab. “But, can we please stop talking about it? I’m trying to keep some small level of cool going on here.”
“Not talking like that, you won’t,” Rory replied. “Text me after you finish at practice. Me and Tab will come over and you can help me strategize my campaign stuff.”
“Sounds good.”
CHAPTER 4
“Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~ Buddha
I’m happy to say that the rest of the day went off without a hitch. I managed to avoid the topic of my sexuality and dating life for the remainder of the day. This was largely because no one seemed to want to talk about it. I was okay with that.
The bright neon pride flag that I imagined waving over my head had apparently been turned off. I shoved most of my books into my locker and jogged out of school, eager to get home and then get to practice. On my way out the door, I passed Noah Kaplan. He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest near the end of the hallway. I hesitated for a moment, and then continued on.
I found my mom parked near the curb, having a rather animated conversation with someone on the phone. And by animated, I mean she was using very colorful language. At least, I assumed she was. With the windows up, I couldn’t really hear anything. I could, however, read lips to a certain extent and I am pretty sure she didn’t mean ducking. She was either giving the cable company a piece of her mind again or she was having a conversation with her brother. I waited until she hung up before opening the car door.
“So, how was your first day?”
“Interesting,” I said as I clicked my seatbelt into place. “Rory declared that he was going to be dating Shawna by the end of the year, Hunter is still a jerk, and one of my teachers is probably going to end up eating my soul.”
“That’s… informative.”
“Where’s Davis?”
“He went home with a friend,” my mom said. She pulled the car away from the curb and took off down the street. “So, does Rory have a crush or something on Shawna?”
I shrugged. “Apparently so.”
“She seems like a nice enough girl.”
“She’s not as stuck up as some of them,” I said. “She at least talks to you and generally acknowledges your existence.”
“And Hunter?”
“Hunter is still a jerk,” I repeated. “He thinks that he’s some sort of big bad jock, even though I am pretty sure that I can bench more than he can.”
“Well, you never know what someone else is going through,” she said as we turned out of the neighborhood that contained my school. “He might have just been having a bad day.”
“Is this the part where you tell me to kill them with kindness?” I asked. “Because I’m pretty sure that you and dad have already drilled that lovely little life lesson into my head.”
“Well, yes and no. It’s where I remind you that we all have burdens to bear,” she said. “And also that avoiding jerks is totally a viable option.”
“Also, apparently Rory is going to run for student council.”
That got my mother’s attention. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s pretty much what me and Tab thought.”
“Does Rory know that might involve actual work?” she asked.
“We told him that, too,” I said. “He actually got kind of offended that we were questioning him.”
“Maybe he just wants to try something new this year.” My mother shrugged. “What time does your thing start this afternoon?”
“Four,” I said after checking my watch. “You can give me a ride, right?”
“Of course, I’ll have to just drop you off. I need to scoot downtown to meet with some people from the hospital. I’ll be back at five to pick you up, though. Is that okay?”
“Sure thing.”
“So, how was the rest of the day? Anything exciting happen?”
I shook my head.
“Nothing at all? How do you think your classes are going to be?”
“Not that bad,” I said. “Math might kinda suck, but everything else seems like it might not be that hard.”
“So, that means straight As?”
I rolled my eyes.
“What? You said not that hard,” she said as we turned into our housing addition. “To me, not that hard means that you can get all As.”
“I should have chosen my words more carefully.”
“Yes, you should have, but you didn’t,” she said as we pulled into the driveway.
I shook my head and got out of the car. Once inside I bounded up the stairs and towards my room. I had my shirt off as soon as I kicked the door closed, prompting me to get a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror that hung on the back of it. I paused for only a moment, taking in the lines of my defined and muscular chest. Maybe I wasn’t as bad looking as I thought I was?
I shook those thoughts away and quickly got myself dressed in athletic shorts, tennis shoes, and a sleeveless athletic top. I knelt down and removed a long case from underneath my bed and smiled to myself. I thought about the first time that I showed the lightsaber to anyone. When Rory first saw me reach down to get the case he assumed it was something exciting, like porn. I mean, who keeps porn under their bed anymore? There’s this thing called the internet.
But I digress. Once I explained to Rory that it wasn’t porn, he seemed a lot less excited. That should not have surprised me. I opened the case and pulled out the object inside. With a flick of my thumb my glorious weapon blazed to life.
Okay, so it wasn’t really a weapon and it didn’t blaze to life like they do in the movies. My lightsaber was orange, the blade illuminating my room even in the afternoon light. I had spent every single penny I had it last year. The guys that make them ensure they are sturdy enough for dueling purposes and even included a sound effects pack. Yes, I know how nerdy this all sounds and that was one of the main reasons that I kept this hobby to myself. I could only imagine the reactions of my classmates if they knew this was what I did in my spare time.
I checked the handle and blade to make sure they were in working order before placing them back in the case. I locked the case, grabbed my backpack, and trotted downstairs to where my mom was in the kitchen, stabbing at her tablet repeatedly. My mother was not a patient woman when it came to technology and any attempt made by anyone else to persuade her all she had to do was wait was met with a look that bore right into your soul.
“Ready, honey?”
“Sure,” I said.
We ventured into the garage. I stowed my saber, and climbed into the front seat of the car. Moments later, my mother backed
out of the garage and started off down the road. Usually, our duels and practice took place at a small downtown gym that lent us space for an hour. All of us contributed a few dollars a month for fees and to donate some money to the gym as a way of saying thank you to the owner for the use of his space.
My mother was just pulling up next to the curb when my phone went off. I grabbed it out of my pocket and swiped the screen.
Tab:
Dude, he was serious! Rory signed up for student council
Henry:
Yes, you knew that already. At practice, gtg
Tab:
May the force be with you Jedi.
I sighed, prompting my mother to look over at me.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” I said. I put my phone back in my pocket and got out of the car. “Just Tab being Tab. Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you later.”
“See you in a little bit. Have fun!”
I pulled my case out of the backseat and then shut the door, waving goodbye as my mother drove off. Once she was gone, I pushed open the doors and stepped inside. The gym was small and local and as such didn’t see a ton of traffic. I think the owners liked it that way really. I waved hello to the front desk clerk and made my way down the hall.
Our saber dueling group was called Duel of Fates, which was a play on the music used during The Phantom Menace. There were twenty plus members, the youngest was a kid that was nine, and the oldest was fifty two. We had two main instructors, David and Ryan. Both of whom were in their late twenties. I had also noticed just how attractive they both were. David was an ex-army Ranger and Ryan had been studying martial arts since he was ten years old.
Ryan was the shorter of the two, with sandy blonde hair, and blue eyes. He also had a compact and powerful build and did not look like a guy that you should make fun for his chosen pastime. I was pretty sure that he would never hurt a fly, though. At least, not unless the fly was directly threatening his life.
“Hey, Henry. How was your first day of school?” Ryan asked.
“It was okay, I guess. Nothing too spectacular about it.”
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