His Guilt: A Mafia Romance (Downing Family Book 6)

by Cassie Wild

  “Yeah.” I checked the board to make sure nobody else was on break, then marked myself out so they’d know. “I’ll be back soon, Charissa.”

  My nurse nodded at me, curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

  I could feel half the floor staring at me as I followed Kris through the doors that led out front.

  Sure enough, it was Cormac.

  I hadn’t exactly had any doubts. It wasn’t like I knew a whole lot of big, tattooed gingers, right?

  He caught sight of me the second the doors swung open and stopped mid-step, turning to face me.

  I smiled at him. From the corner of my eye, I could see the security guards, and it was pretty obvious they were all taking a keen interest in him too. Hoping to put them at ease, I reached out and put a hand on his arm.

  It also served to keep him from bending down to kiss me, especially when paired with my arched brows.

  He made a show of rolling his eyes at me. “Let me guess,” he said in a low, teasing whisper. “PDA isn’t allowed.”

  “It’s not…encouraged,” I responded. “Not very professional.” I looked him up and down instinctively. There was something jumpy about him, something on edge. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

  “No.” He covered my hand with his, his thumb sweeping across my skin in a lazy caress. “I just wanted to see you. That a problem?”

  Tipping my head back, I studied his face, his eyes. They were locked on me with a steady focus that belied that teasing, charming grin he directed at me.

  Part of me wanted to push.

  I ignored it.

  I’d told myself I was going to trust him. At least for now. “Come on,” I told him, turning and hooking my arm through his. “I ended up getting called in unexpectedly and only had time for one of those crappy breakfast bars. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.”

  “Think you’ll find anything better in the hospital?” he asked skeptically.

  “I’ll have you know they make great fries here. And the deli sandwiches are made to order.” I gave him an arch look.

  He made a sound that was clearly unimpressed but didn’t resist as I tugged him along. We were halfway to the cafeteria when he spoke again. “So, you got called in this morning? At the last minute?”

  “Yes.” I hooked a right by the cardiac rehab department and led him down yet another long, gleaming white hallway.

  “This place is a maze,” he muttered. “How do you keep from getting lost?”

  “Signs help.” I pointed one out with a sober look. “Especially the first few weeks.”

  “Brat.” He nudged me with his elbow, a faint smile on his lips. “You get called in at the last minute often?”

  “Here?” I shrugged. “Not so much. Happened more at my last job, although half the time, I wasn’t informed until I was already at work and then I’d be expected to stay and work a double. It can be exhausting.” The doors to the cafeteria loomed up ahead of us, and I gestured to them. “We’re here.”

  He remained silent, only speaking to the woman behind the counter to offer his order, then to the cashier when he shoved a twenty at her, saying, “For both of these.”

  “Thanks,” I said as he took both trays and started to wind through the busy dining area.

  We sat down to eat, Cormac still uncharacteristically silent. It made me fidgety, but I fought back the urge to toy with my utensils, with my hair, with my soft drink. Focusing on my food instead, I tried to talk myself into calming down.

  I’d almost managed too.

  Then I glanced up as a co-worker said, “Hello.”

  The intent way Cormac was staring at me made my heart lurch. I kept my expression blank through sheer force of will alone, shifting my gaze past him to see one of the nurses from the medical-surgical floor. I waved, ignoring the blatantly curious stare she gave Cormac.

  I met his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, offering a crooked grin.

  “I don’t know. You just seem…I don’t know. On edge about something.”

  He reached out and stroked a finger down the back of my hand. “Well, there is a certain edge I’m dealing with. But we can’t do anything about it here.” He wagged his eyebrows at me.

  I couldn’t help but laugh.

  Withdrawing my hand, I took another sip of my soft drink. “You’re incorrigible, Cormac.”

  “That’s what Mum always said,” he told me with a heavy sigh.

  Twelve

  Cormac

  I’d panicked when I hadn’t seen Briar’s car in the driveway.

  Logic had told me that Jerrel wouldn’t be so stupid as to make any kind of move that might draw attention to him, but not knowing where she was made me nervous, especially so close on the heels of his threat.

  Sure, it might not have sounded like an outright threat…I’ll take good care of that sexy lady doc.

  But I knew damn good and well what Jerrel was about, and he wasn’t about to go putting his hands on Briar. He’d already caused enough trouble with her, and he wasn’t going to cause any more. Not if I could help it.

  It had just been a whim, driving by her place.

  I’d planned on grabbing another room, one closer to her home. It would cost more, sure, but all in all, I was doing pretty well and had more than enough money to set myself up in a decent hotel for several weeks here in Philadelphia and not miss the money, even if Marcos didn’t pay out. The kind of work I did paid well, and I’d never had much of anything to spend my money on.

  But when I hadn’t seen her car, I’d panicked. Since I couldn’t think of anywhere else to look, I’d gone by the hospital. Seeing the sleek red sports car tucked away in the parking section set aside for the physicians had made me breathe easier, but still, I’d needed to see her.

  Most people told me I was a hard man to read, but Briar had seen something on my face because she’d known I was on edge. She hadn’t pushed, and after we’d eaten lunch, I’d felt better.

  Now, driving away from the hospital, I finalized the plan I’d been toying with ever since leaving Rudy’s. Worry for Briar had gotten in the way, but I was back on track now.

  I needed to talk to Marcos, and I needed privacy, some place where I could think and not worry about that arse, Jerrel.

  Again, I considered a hotel, and before I could change my mind, I tapped on my phone and brought up the app for the map. A few more taps had the local hotels between my current location and Briar’s house popping up, and I randomly selected one located relatively close to her place. Traffic inched along, and once I came to a stop, the third car behind a fresh red light, I quickly reserved a room for the next week. If I needed more time than that, so be it.

  It was early still, but on the off chance they might have a room open and ready, I headed in that direction, mind already working on the problem in front of me.

  I lucked out.

  The woman handling the desk was a sucker for an accent and a flirt. She was a sweet thing, a good twenty years older than me, and I laid on the charm until she was blushing.

  She giggled like a school girl as I thanked her for all her kind help and gestured toward the elevator, which was immediately behind me. It would be hard to miss, but I thanked her for that kindness as well and grabbed my duffel, ready to get off my fucking feet and close my eyes, even if only for a minute or two.

  I wasn’t even worried about falling asleep, despite how tired I was.

  All the shit roiling through my head was enough to keep me awake into the wee hours if I didn’t get some of it smoothed out.

  Once inside my room, the first thing I did was kick off my boots, lay down and take that one or two minutes to simply close my eyes and get my thoughts in order.

  I needed to focus and clear my head. Until I’d done that, I couldn’t even begin to take the next step.

  If I came off as panicked or worried or anything that even resembled out of control, I was going to lose—and that meant Briar w
ould lose.

  That wasn’t an option.

  So I breathed and focused. If I could have meditated, I would have done that too. Who in the hell would believe I’d ever think something so boring as meditating would come in useful?

  But there I was, wishing it was an option I had in my arsenal.

  It wasn’t, though. After a few more minutes, I sat up and stared at my reflection.

  My face was no longer set in such harsh lines, and my mouth wasn’t pinched tight.

  My eyes looked grim, but that wasn’t anything new, not really. All I had to do was make that damn phone call.

  Simple.

  “Sure,” I muttered to myself. “Right.”

  In the quiet of the room, my voice sounded obnoxiously loud, the sound enough to make me cringe. Already, I could feel the nerves crawling back in. I rolled my head and my shoulders, loosening my muscles like I did before a fight.

  That’s what this was—a fight. It was in a different kind of arena, but it was a fight nonetheless, and one of the most important I’d ever been in.

  “So get your ass to work then,” I told the man in the mirror.

  With a short nod, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found Marcos’s number. He was labeled simply as MC, and those two letters served as his avatar. I punched the little circle, and the screen filled with the number.

  Dialing…

  He didn’t answer on the first or the second ring.

  I’d been prepared to leave a message on his voice mail, but halfway through the third, he answered.

  “Well, well, well, Cormac. I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

  “Really?” I feigned annoyance. “I don’t see how. I could have sworn we’d just talked. You even told me you understood why I needed more time. What in the hell, Marcos? Do you realize how close Jerrel came to fucking this whole thing up?”

  “I don’t think I like your tone, Cormac.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, and I don’t like flying to fucking Philadelphia and freezing my ass off, then getting so close to accomplishing the job I was assigned to do only to have Jerrel plant himself in the middle of it and tell Briar I was working for you.”

  Marcos went quiet.

  After a few seconds, he spoke again. “Excuse me?”

  “What…he didn’t tell you that?” I muttered under my breath, making sure he heard. “Of course, the dumb fuck didn’t tell you. Shit. Okay, boss. Here’s what happened. Briar and I were seriously connecting, to the point where she was talking about inviting me over to her family’s house for the weekend and other shit. Then Jerrel up and plants himself by her car and tells her that I’m working for the Castellanos family.”

  Again, he said nothing as he turned this information over.

  When he did speak, the annoyance in his voice was clear. “Just why would Jerrel do that? He knows I don’t like it when people interfere.”

  “You’d have to ask him, Marcos, but I get the feeling he did it to fuck with me, and maybe…” I deliberately let my voice trail off. “Nah, mate. Never mind.”

  “Never mind what?” Marcos demanded.

  I hesitated a few seconds, then finally said, “Look, I could be off base about this, so I don’t want to go saying anything.”

  “I’ll decide if it’s off base or not since it involves my men.”

  I smirked. Entitled prick. I wasn’t bothered, though. I was pleased.

  “Fine, fine. But I can’t swear to this, so don’t go assuming this had anything to do with whatever is floating around in Jerrel’s head, okay? But…well, I got this idea in my head that…well…” I blew out an overly dramatic breath. “I think he’s got a problem with anybody who’s got money, got more power than he does, boss.”

  Marcos was quiet.

  “Look, mate, I hope I’m not stepping on your toes here. I know you busted your ass for all the money you got.” He hadn’t. Daddy had set him up. Sure, Marcos had done fine once he had seed money from the Castellanos clan, but he’d still fallen on his face a few times, and his father had been forced to bail him out. That know thy enemy bit was useful advice, really. “It’s not like you’re some rich kid born with a silver spoon in his mouth who got everything from Mum and Dad. Hell, I wish my mum and dad could have given me a bit of quid to get me started. But that’s not the point. I get the feeling Jerrel has a stick up his arse about the money bit. Briar’s got money.”

  “I’ve got money,” Marcos said in a cool voice.

  “Well, there’s that. But, he wouldn’t be daft enough to fuck around on you?” I managed to make my laugh sound just the slightest bit strained. “Right?” The silence stretched out. I cleared my throat, shattering it. “Ah…well. I mean, there is that business of him telling Briar what I was about an’ all. I mean, he didn’t tell her everything.”

  “Enough,” Marcos said. His voice was cool and stilted. “I’ll be putting in a call to Jerrel. I need to figure out just where he stands. But…Cormac. I’m still not entirely pleased with the progress you’ve made.”

  “You’re not pleased?” I said, pretending to be dumbfounded. “I’ve got that woman wrapped around my finger, although I’d be a damn sight closer to getting things done if Jerrel hadn’t swaggered in and tried to cause trouble. We’ve already got plans for dinner tonight, and I think she’s planning on letting me move in even closer. Tell me something…you really think Jerrel has the subtlety for this kind of job?”

  I could tell by the tight, controlled exhalation of air that Marcos had absolutely no argument he could offer. I would have breathed a little easier, but he was still on the phone, so I didn’t dare let myself.

  “Both of you have your talents,” Marcos said in an oblique tone. “You most definitely understand yours.”

  “Thank you, boss.” I infused the words with every bit of charm I could muster.

  “You’re still on the job, Cormac, but you need to understand something. You can’t let that pretty little bitch lead you around by the dick.”

  “Really, Marcos. Have I ever let myself get led around? By the dick or any other body part?” Moving to the window, I stared outside at the busy street, my mind already racing. I had a bit more time. I had no idea what I’d do with it, but I had more time.

  “There’s always a first. Don’t let this be yours. I want information, and I want it soon. If I don’t get something useful, then I’ll just have to make do with causing a fuck ton of trouble.” His words were like ice.

  “Look, Marcos…I’m still not going to wag my dick on video or anything.”

  “You won’t need to. If it comes to it, I’d rather the Downings focus all their energy on her. Nobody else. But I’d rather get information on the brothers, the father.”

  “Alright, boss. Are you going to keep Jerrel out of my way? He’s a pain in the arse, I’ve got to tell you.”

  He exhaled, calm and collected. “I’ll talk to Jerrel. For now, you just…stay clear of him. The two of you are giving me a headache.”

  The line went dead.

  I tossed my phone to the bed and continued to stare out the window.

  Thirteen

  Briar

  We went out for Chinese and a movie.

  Cormac appeared at my door an hour after I got home and gave me a slow, leisurely look before turning his smile on me, full-force.

  “Want to go out?” he asked as he came inside.

  The question had caught me off guard.

  “Out where?” I asked him.

  “Just…out. We can grab some food. Maybe see a movie.” He frowned before laughing abruptly. “I can’t even think of the last time I saw a movie in a theater. Might have been when I was still in school. Mum and Da wanted to go out, so I was stuck watching the little ones. Took them all to see some Disney flick.”

  His eyes took on a far-off look.

  Reaching out, I laid a hand on his arm. “You miss them.”

  He blinked, then shook his head and glanced down at me. “Odd,
but yeah. Yeah, I do.”

  “They’re your family. What’s odd about it?”

  He frowned, clearly puzzling over the question. Finally, he said, “You’re close to your dad. To your brothers. Bet you were close to your mum too. Weren’t you?”

  “Yes.” I couldn’t quite hide the husky note in my voice, or even pretend there wasn’t an ache, even after all this time.

  Cormac nodded, that distant look still in his eyes. “I never was. It always seemed like they wanted things from me that I couldn’t give them, like I was always coming up just a little short. I got tired of it, and once I was eighteen, I walked away and never looked back.”

  “They must have wanted what was best for you,” I said without thinking. But maybe that wasn’t the case. I was a doctor. I saw abused kids all the time.

  Cormac stroked his hands down my arms. “I think they did, yeah. We just had very opposing views on what was good for me.”

  Surprised, I looked up at him.

  “We’ve talked. Mum and me. Da and me. We talked a few days back. I…” He shuffled his feet, looking self-conscious. “I might go down and see them here in the next little while. I dunno. But I’m thinking about it. They don’t hate me, so that’s a good sign, right?”

  Heart aching for him, I rose up onto my toes and kissed him.

  The movie was adorable.

  I’d already seen it three times, a romantic comedy mostly based in Singapore. It would be hitting Blu-ray in a matter of weeks but was still available at some of the budget theaters. Cormac groaned when I pointed out the movie I wanted to see, making a show of dragging his feet as we walked to our seats.

  “There’s that thriller,” he told me, whispering in my ear. “We can probably swap our tickets for that.”

  “I want to see this,” I said primly.

  “It’s a chick flick,” he said.

  “And one could argue that you want to take me to a man-flick.” I gave him a lofty look. “Then again, an intelligent individual could make the argument that there are no chick-flicks or man-flicks and that movies can actually appeal across genders.”