His Guilt: A Mafia Romance (Downing Family Book 6)

by Cassie Wild

  “I love you,” he said, the words coming out husky and rough.

  The bottom of my stomach dropped out.

  He clenched one hand into a fist, still standing on the far side of the room. “I don’t expect you to believe me or forgive me, but I had to tell you, at least once. I love you, and knowing that I’ve hurt you, hurt your family, it’s like a big, raw void in my chest…and that’s my own damn fault. I just…”

  I didn’t realize I’d closed the distance between us until the heat of his body reached out to warm mine. I’d been cold for hours, a bone-deep chill that had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with what would have happened if Cormac hadn’t been there to warn us.

  Reaching out, I laid my hand on his cheek.

  He went silent and laid his palm over my hand, staring down at me.

  The expression in his eyes stunned me, laid me bare.

  Taut moments passed. The hurt girl inside me insisted I tell him to leave, to just get out.

  But the rest of me was spellbound by the look in his eyes.

  “I don’t trust you,” I said, forcing the words out. My throat was so tight and raw, it hurt to speak, and it wasn’t just because of the smoke inhalation. “I can’t trust you. Not right now.”

  Something flickered in his eyes and fine lines tightened at the corners.

  “But…” I drew in a deep breath. “I hurt when you’re not with me. I’m lonely without you. I’ve never really been lonely before…then you came into my life.”

  “Briar…”

  I pressed my thumb to his lips, silencing him. “It’s hard to even remember not having you in my life, and it’s only been a couple of months. Angry as I am, hurt as I am…I don’t want to go back to what was. I can’t go back to it. I love you, Cormac.”

  A shaken look crossed his face, and the hand covering mine was now clutching it. He moved, and in an instant, he had me pressed up against him, his arm banded tight around my waist. “Briar…”

  Then he kissed me.

  It was desperate and deep and wet.

  Rising up on my toes, I shoved my hands into his hair and clung to him. The anger and hurt still burned inside, but the need was stronger. Love was the strongest of all, and I whimpered as he shoved my shirt up and palmed my breast. I’d already changed into a cami and pajama pants, so my skin was bare. The heat of his hand was shocking, and I moaned into his mouth.

  He moved, holding me in his arms. Seconds later, he had me sitting on the table. Breaking away from me, he stripped my shirt, then my pants away. I sagged backward onto my elbows as he went to his knees, pressing a line of kisses up my thigh, moving closer and closer to my core. I moaned as he flicked his tongue against my clit. Again and again, until I was rocking up to meet him, seeking a deeper contact.

  He gave it to me, shifting lower and thrusting his tongue into my pussy. Shoving my hands into his hair, I clutched him closer.

  He worked me straight into a hard orgasm, and once he had me panting and shivering in the aftermath, he stood up and tore at the button of his jeans. There was no time to catch my breath before he caught my thighs, spread me wide. I gasped, the sound giving way to a choking cry as he filled me, hot, hard, and thick. My fingers scrabbled for something to cling to, but the table’s smooth surface offered little purchase. Finally, I gripped the edge and levered up to meet him as best as I could.

  Cormac’s head had fallen back, the muscles standing out in stark relief.

  I wanted to see his eyes, fall into that dark, warm depth. “Cormac…”

  He straightened and focused his gaze on me, a faint smile tipping up one corner of his mouth. He hooked his hands around my shoulders and pulled me up, pivoting so that he rested his hips on the table. I closed my legs around his hips. His hands went to my butt, guiding me. My hair fell around my face as I pressed my brow to his.

  “I love you,” I whispered, staring into his eyes.

  He bit my lower lip gently. “I love you. So much.”

  The hunger that had been so desperate, so jagged and sharp, softened, and I rocked against him slowly, the two of us lost in each other.

  When the orgasm came, it was a slow, inexorable build-up that filled me so incredibly full, I thought I’d die from the pleasure before it managed to spill out.

  Cormac tangled his hand in my hair, swallowing my cry.

  Deep inside, I felt his cock jerk as he climaxed.

  Tightening my arms around his neck, I buried my face against his shoulder. “Take me to bed,” I whispered in his ear. “Let’s forget about everything for a little while longer.”

  Twenty-Nine

  Briar

  “You ready for this?”

  Cormac took my hand as he joined me at the back of the car, his face set in stoic lines. “I still think they’re going to try to kill me, but I’m game if you are.”

  “I already told them that if they want me in their lives, there were going to be changes…and they’d also have to accept you being part of my life,” I told him, reaching up to brush my fingers down his jaw. “After all, none of us would even be here if it wasn’t for you. But if you don’t want to do this…”

  His dark eyes glittered as he lowered his head. Our brows touched. “Stop worrying, Briar. I can handle whatever comes. And for you, I’ll do it with a smile.”

  The simple words made my heart melt. The two of us still had so much work to do on building a real relationship, and I knew the entire trust thing was going to take a lot of time on my part, but I had no doubt he loved me.

  And that was a very good start.

  “Come on.” He hooked an arm around my shoulders, drawing me into the warmth of his body. “Let’s get inside. It’s cold.”

  We had a short walk, a little over a block. “It’s just up here,” I told Cormac, spying the restaurant’s name on the black awning. We walked past a small bookstore and a boutique chocolatier.

  The chocolatier was closed, but the window was filled with displays of pretty, delicate candies. Just the sight made my mouth water.

  In the window of the bookstore, I saw an older man switching out the books he had on display while the rest of the store was dark behind him. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, feeling more at peace with the world than I had in a long while.

  “Briar!”

  I paused at the sound of a familiar voice and looked back to see Sean climbing from his car. Somehow, the lucky son-of-a-bitch had found a parking space on the street, right in front of the bookstore. His eyes flicked to Cormac, and his jaw tightened, but he said nothing as he came around the car to open the door for Isabel.

  He offered her a hand, and she climbed out, smiling up at him before shifting her attention to Cormac and me. She gave him a polite nod as she came over to hug me. “Hey, there.”

  I hugged her back, and the four of us walked to the restaurant together. The awkward tension between Sean and Cormac had my skin going tight, but I’d known it would be like this. It was something we’d have to deal with. Cormac and I were a unit, and my family would have to accept that.

  The hostess led us to a private area in the back where my brothers, Daria, and Dad were already seated.

  Dad caught sight of us first and stood, coming over to greet us.

  He surprised all of us by catching Cormac in a quick hug. The looks he caught as he pulled back made him grumble. “I’m celebrating my seventieth birthday today…with my girl and my boys because of him. He fucked up, and I won’t forget it, but I’m also not going to forget what he did for my family,” he announced as he went to sit, waving us to the empty seats. “And you best not either.”

  He pointed a stern finger at my brothers, who suddenly developed a fascination with their drinks, save for Sean who busied himself helping Isabel with her coat.

  I smirked a little, breathing easier.

  If Dad was going to back me, then everything would work out, right?

  “I talked to an acquaintance of mine on the police force,�
�� Brooks said after the dishes had been cleared.

  A delicious cake had been brought out and demolished. I was so full, my belly hurt, and I was ready to go home and curl up, sleep for a week.

  But that simple statement had me straightening in my seat.

  All eyes turned toward Brooks.

  He took a sip from his whiskey before continuing. “They finally found Jerrel Waddell.”

  Jerrel had been missing for the past three weeks, ever since the day of the bombing. Brooks glanced at Cormac, then offered a short nod. “Unfortunately, they can’t question him.”

  “He’s dead, isn’t he?” Cormac asked tersely.

  “Yeah.” Brooks swirled his whiskey around in the glass, staring at the amber liquid pensively. “They’re assuming suicide, although there will be an autopsy.”

  Cormac muttered, “Bullshit.” It was low, so low Sean and I were probably the only ones who heard him, although my brother shared a look with him that made me suspect that Brooks was of the same opinion.

  “Have they talked to Marcos?” Isabel asked in a hesitant voice. It was clear just how torn she still was over her brother’s involvement.

  Sean covered her hand with his.

  “Yeah.” Brooks took another sip. “So far, he’s not a suspect.”

  “What about the phone calls?” I demanded. “He called Cormac! All the time!”

  “Somebody called Cormac,” Brooks said. “Marcos turned over his phone, and the number associated with his cellular account isn’t the same number that Cormac had for him.”

  “Burner phone,” Cormac muttered.

  “Probably.” Brooks looked just as disgusted himself. “I’m not entirely sure the police are buying it, but there’s no hard evidence to connect Marcos to Cormac, other than Cormac’s word. And now Jerrel is dead of an apparent suicide.”

  “That right there is pretty damn suspect to me,” Declan said dryly.

  Brooks tipped his glass toward Declan. “Very true. My contact said the investigation is ongoing, but since Jerrel was the one who could connect Marcos to the bombing, they have effectively hit a dead end. They’ll keep on searching, but I don’t think they’re expecting to solve this.”

  A more subdued air settled over the room.

  My father abruptly clapped his hands. “Enough!” He lifted his glass. “We’ve had enough dark days. Tonight is for happy times!”

  Obediently, we all lifted our glasses.

  Under the table, I sought out Cormac’s hand and twined our fingers.

  After we all shared a toast, my father stunned us all by telling us the story of how he coaxed our mother into dating him, a sweet, charming tale that I hadn’t heard in almost ten years.

  His eyes were damp by the time he finished, and I got up to go to him, bending over to hug him from behind. I kissed his cheek and whispered, “I love you, Daddy.”

  He patted my hand. “I love you, darlin’ girl.”

  “I have to go, Seamus,” Isabel said. She brushed her fingers down Sean’s arm before standing.

  He stood as well, tugging her up against him for a quick hug and kiss.

  She smiled at him as she pulled away, reaching up to wipe the lipstick from his mouth before coming over to hug her father-in-law.

  He squeezed her back. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes.” She ruffled his hair affectionately, something I’d never seen anybody but her do. “A friend of mine is getting married in a week, and some friends are having a party for her tonight. I’m going to drop in for a few minutes.”

  “Ah.” He caught her hand and squeezed. “I’m flattered you made some time for an old man’s birthday.”

  “Of course I made time for you, Seamus.” She winked at him, then made her goodbyes, but I could see the strain on her face. Knowing how complicit her brother was in almost killing those she loved was hard for her to deal with, and the strain of it all showed in the purple smudges under her pretty eyes.

  Sean grabbed her jacket and waved to the room. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Declan, you’re still good to drive me home, right?”

  Declan nodded and went back to chatting with Brooks.

  I leaned against Cormac, smothering a yawn. “I’m beat,” I told him. “We’re going to need to head out soon. I’m working tomorrow.”

  “I’ve got that job interview,” he said. He’d surprised me when he told me that he’d applied for an entry-level position at a construction company. His dad had worked construction, he told me, and during the summers, he’d worked with the small, family-owned company when he’d been in school. He wasn’t sure he had a chance, but he wanted a fresh start.

  I was hopeful for him.

  “You ready to go?”

  Nodding, I kissed his cheek, then rose, turning to my father.

  Seamus gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “Look at all you young people. I’ll outlast the lot of you.”

  “You’re not the one who has to be at work in eight hours,” I retorted. I bent and kissed his cheek. “Happy birthday, Daddy.”

  I made my goodbyes as Cormac retrieved our coats.

  At the front of the restaurant, as Cormac helped me slide my coat on, I glimpsed Isabel and Sean talking on the sidewalk just outside the restaurant. She looked frustrated. So did he.

  I wondered if she’d told him yet. I had a feeling the answer was no.

  She went to turn away, and Sean caught her arm, pulling her up against him for a quick kiss.

  She was smiling when she stepped away.

  I stepped outside in time to see her wiggle her fingers at him over the hood of the car just before ducking inside.

  “Everything okay with you two?” I asked, hooking my arm through his.

  The easy smile on his face didn’t match the tension in his body. He kept staring at the car as the lights came on and the engine roared to life. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just don’t—”

  The percussion blast knocked us off our feet.

  Smoke and dust and heat choked the air.

  Dazed, I struggled to sit up.

  I finally managed just in time to see Sean pushing himself onto his hands and knees, his grime-streaked face a twisted mask of shock.

  He said something. I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t hear anything, none of the chaos going on…nothing.

  Cormac’s face appeared in front of me, and he caught my chin, turning my face this way then that.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  At least, I think that’s what he said. I heard none of it, but the look on his face, the way his mouth moved…I nodded, then tapped my ears.

  He nodded back and echoed the movement.

  As if I was moving in slow motion, I looked past him, staring at Sean.

  Horror bloomed inside me as reality started to settle in.

  It seemed like the world was on fire.

  It wasn’t.

  But there was burning. Heat. Chaos. Fear.

  Shaken, I tried to get to my feet. Pain tore through my right leg, and it folded beneath me.

  Cormac pressed on my shoulders, trying to keep me in place. I smacked at his hands and pointed.

  He turned and saw what had me shaking and scared.

  Glass littered the sidewalk all around us, and people were pouring from the nearby businesses.

  At least one of them was burning, I realized.

  The bookstore.

  The old man.

  And the spot where Sean had parked his car, where Isabel had been just moments ago was nothing but a roaring inferno.

  Sean’s mouth opened. I saw his scream, even though I couldn’t hear it.

  Cormac followed my gaze, and he lurched upright only seconds after Sean did.

  As Sean ran for the burning car, Cormac caught him.

  Declan and Brooks came running out, quickly followed by Daria.

  My father was the last, and he sought me out, saw me sitting there, his lined face crumpling as he came to me.

  Brooks and Dec
lan were with Cormac now, fighting to help him control Sean.

  Daria sank to her knees next to me, and I pulled her into my arms as she started to cry.

  And all of us stared at the blazing, burning funeral pyre.

  Don’t miss Wrecked Heart (Downing Family Book 7), the first book of Sean’s story, coming on Amazon, January 1st. Click Here to preorder today.

  Other Books by Cassie Wild:

  Deceit and Desire (Roma Mafia):

  Deceit and Desire Complete Series Box Set

  Downing Family (Irish Mafia):

  Brooks and Daria

  1. The Escape

  2. The Debt

  3. The Punishment

  Briar and Cormac

  4. His Target

  5. His Fight

  6. His Guilt

  About the Author

  Cassie Wild

  Cassie Wild loves romance. Ever since she was eight years old, she’s been reading every romance novel she could get her hands on, always dreaming of writing her own romance novels. In her spare time, she enjoys watching superhero movies, playing video games, reading tons of books all while cooking her favorite Italian meals.

  First, I would like to thank all my readers. Without you, my books would not exist. A big Thank You goes out to all the Facebook fans, street team, beta readers, and advanced reviewers. You are a HUGE part of the success of the series.

  Also, a big Thank You goes out to my editors Helen and Lynette. You make my ideas and words look so good.