Why Did It Have To Be You?

by T. L. Quinn

  The picture is of me in a black lacy outfit. It cups my boobs and pushes them up, and the lace comes to a thinner line over my stomach exposing my sides. I have a couple fingers on my lips with my mouth open in a pose Ally told me to do. It cuts off at my mouth. Ally told me even in her drunken state. “Never send a dirty picture with your full face. You never know where it could end up one day.”

  I add the picture to the message.

  Me: This is what young people call sexting. Middle aged man skills might work in the bedroom, but if you want to stay relevant, I need to be impressed when I’m away too. *wink emoji*

  Literally a few seconds later.

  Dean: Jesus Caroline!

  I smile and can see he is typing more. Ding.

  Dean: I thought our next conversation was going to be a little more serious. What are you doing to me?

  Me: Do you want me to be more serious?

  Dean: God no. But I already have the pic to jack off to, so I choose whatever option increases the likelihood that you’ll forgive me and give me another chance.

  Me: Are you touching yourself now?

  Dean: Caroline…

  Me: I want to touch myself but I can’t. I don’t have my own room.

  Dean: Don’t make me come get you.

  Dean: God. Now all I can think about is you touching yourself.

  Me: I used to touch myself thinking about that night at the bar. I’d imagine it was you finishing what you started.

  Dean: Caroline. I am so fucking hard.

  I really am getting turned on too. I tell the girls to press play on the movie so that they don’t pay attention to me.

  Me: I want you to touch yourself for me.

  Dean: Brian is home.

  Me: Has that ever stopped you before?

  It takes a few minutes before another text comes in. At first, I thought he might be trying to find a safe place to wack off, but then my phone dings.

  Dean: I can’t. Not until I know we are good. Can I come over?

  Somehow him rejecting me physically so he can make sure I’m okay emotionally just turns me on even more. Dang, maybe this wine is just making me horny.

  Me: I’m too drunk.

  Dean: I swear to God, if you sober up and decide to dump my ass after giving me hope, I will not survive it.

  Me: I don’t know. Maybe we should invite Jenny over for our talk tomorrow?

  Dean: Caroline....

  Man, I can just imagine him saying my name the way he always does all deep and sexy.

  Me: I’m kidding. I’m going to bed soon. We can talk tomorrow. When will you be home?

  Dean: No later than 5. I told my assistant to push all my meetings to later in the week.

  Me: I want to show up at 5 so I can see you in your suit and tie, but I don’t think I’ll be able to think clearly, so I’ll be there at 5:30. Please shower and wear something bummish. But not those gray sweatpants that hug your ass. And none of that “oh I’m wearing jeans and a tee to look casual but really I still look super sexy.”

  Dean: So... what exactly are my options again? Come to the door naked?

  Me: God no! Just turn the charm down a notch, so I can think clearly. Always making me want you and shit

  Dean: Haha! Pretty sure you’re the one who has run out on me twice now without even giving me your number.

  Me: Yeah, yeah. It’s called fleeing the scene before I do something stupid. Goodnight Dean.

  Dean: Goodnight Caroline.

  Chapter 15

  I wake up the next morning sore as anything. Man, I really can’t keep sleeping on this couch. My head has that sharp pain shooting through it consistent with my usual hangovers. I hear Ally in the kitchen, so I rub my eyes and yawn and then head that way.

  She already has the coffee going thank goodness. I sit down on one of the bar stools in the kitchen. “Where do you keep your Tylenol?”

  She nods toward the bottle she already got out sitting on the counter.

  “Why are wine hangovers the worst? I swear last month at the Vegas conference I had at least 7 shots of tequila, and, I mean, I threw up for most of the night, but then I felt perfectly fine the next day.”

  We both laugh. She eyes me up and down. “You look rough. That how you want to go have your talk with Dean?”

  “Wow. Thanks Ally.” I stick my tongue out at her. “I just woke up. Can a girl catch a break?”

  Ally laughs. “Sorry girl, but I have to leave for work in 15 minutes. You going to be able to pull yourself together today?”

  “Yeah. I only have online classes on Mondays, so I pretty much have the whole day to pretty myself up.”

  Ally finishes her coffee and then jumps up. “Alright I gotta go get dressed and then I'm out of here. Should I expect you home tonight?” She gives a little wink at the last part.

  I huff out a breath. “I’m not sure yet. Can I keep you posted?”

  Ally reaches out and gives me a hug. “Of course. I’ll be home around six tonight. If you can try to let me know before in case I run into a sexy stranger on my way home and want to bring him back here.” She jokes.

  I laugh. “Somehow I don’t think me being here would stop you from bringing home a sexy stranger.”

  She laughs and shrugs. “Probably not, but I’m nosy. I want to know the details about your talk.”

  “Yeah, okay fine. I will either show up here tonight a huge mess or I’ll call you tomorrow with details.”

  She adds. “After you’ve been sexed up!”

  I laugh. “Oh my god Ally! Go to work!”

  Ally jogs over to her room. “Don’t forget to call me tomorrow!” She shouts over her shoulder like she has no doubt I won’t be coming back to her place tonight. I take another sip of my coffee. If only I had that much confidence.

  ◆◆◆

  I pull into Dean’s driveway and step out of the car. I just stand there for a minute looking at the house. Even though I was just here yesterday, it feels like it’s been forever. How did so much change over one day?

  I walk up to the door, and I feel nervous, so I don’t ring the bell right away. It reminds me of when Brian and I first got here and how I was nervous to meet his dad. I laugh to myself. I was imagining Brian’s dad to look like a typical dad. You know. White sneakers and his T-shirt tucked into his cargo shorts while he flips burgers on the grill. Beer in hand to go with his beer belly. Boy was I wrong.

  I take one more big breath and shake my arms at my sides to get rid of the nerves and ring the bell.

  It only takes a couple seconds before Dean is pulling the door open. He smiles big at me. I can’t help but smile back with the way he is looking at me. Then my eyes drop a little and take in what he is wearing. A t-shirt with the exact same sweatpants as the gray ones just in black. I raise my eyes back to his and cock and eyebrow. He just grins. “What? You said I couldn’t wear my gray sweatpants.” I laugh and roll my eyes.

  We both walk into the house and stop in the entryway just looking at each other for a few seconds not knowing what to say. Finally, I break the silence. “Hey.”

  He gives me a small smile. “Hey.” He motions toward the living room. “Want to sit?”

  Before I go any further, I just blurt out. “Are you and Brian okay?”

  Dean looks surprised that is the first thing I asked. I continue. “I know you two were never super close, but that is the last thing I wanted to happen. I don’t want to go any further with us if you guys aren’t good with each other. I mean Brian texted me yesterday and he sounded okay but you know how texts are, so maybe he isn’t really and I-.”

  Dean cuts off my rambling. “Caroline. Me and Brian are good.”

  He grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch. “We talked last night at Charlie’s.”

  I let out a relieved breath. “He said you and his mom being married isn’t what it looks like.”

  Dean nods. “No. It’s not. That’s what I wanted to tell you yesterday before everything turned to shit.”
He pauses and lets out a breath.

  “Jenny and I got legally married when I turned eighteen. My dad was being a dick about what I was allowed to buy for Brian. I was just starting school, and I didn’t have any money of my own. There was a loophole in the trust he had set up for me where my wife could use a certain bank account of mine for whatever she wanted. I wanted the best for Brian, so we went to the courthouse and got married. We had to stay married for five years or technically my dad could sue them for any funds they used out of the account. After the five years, we just never got around to officially getting divorced. Neither one of us were ever serious enough with anyone to justify the cost and time it takes to legally get divorced, so we just never got around to it.”

  Dean looks over to me concerned that I might not like his answer.

  My mouth drops open. All last night I kept trying to think of the reason Dean didn’t tell me about being married. I kept thinking it had something to do with trying to be together for Brian’s sake.

  It’s like he knows what I am thinking and continues on. “We were never together. There was no clause stipulating we had to live together or anything. The last time I was ever with Jenny was right before we found out she was pregnant.”

  He shakes his head. “I’m not sure why she introduced herself as my wife. It’s not like we usually tell people that. I think she was just trying to be funny or something and when she found out you were actually with Brian and not me, she didn’t correct herself. She probably thought you already knew the situation.”

  It feels like a weight has lifted off of me. It’s not like me and Dean are trying to get married anytime soon. I mean we’ve only had one real date, but if things did ever turn serious between us, Dean has plenty of time to get a divorse from Jenny.

  I’m not totally convinced yet on the Brian front though.

  “Okay.” I say to Dean, so he knows I understand the part about him being married is fine with me. “What exactly do you mean you and Brian talked and everything is good now? I mean last time I saw you two together you were both yelling and he punched you in the face.”

  Deans gives a small laugh. “Us guys like to work things out with our fists.”

  I lean my head to the side like c’mon what really happened.

  Dean sighs. “Alright, so that’s not exactly what happened.”

  He rubs his hands over his thighs trying to think of what to say. “I think whatever you said to him made him calm down. I left right after you to go to Charlie’s to give Brian some space plus I needed to talk to someone about everything and Derek is my best friend.”

  I remember Derek is the one who walked in on us at the bar. “So how did Brian end up at Charlie’s with you?”

  “He just showed up. He sat and I bought him a drink. He was still angry venting to Derek that I slept with his girlfriend. They both ganged up on me like I was the shitteist dad out there trying to steal his son’s girlfriend.”

  I laugh. “That’s not exactly what happened.”

  He smiles. “No.” He hesitates like he’s not sure he wants to tell me this next part. “I told them it was you.”

  I look at him confused. “It was me? What does that mean?”

  “That you were the girl from the bar that Derek caught me with.” He cringes a second. “Don’t be surprised if Brian calls you pinball girl.”

  My mouth drops open. “Brian knows about what happened on the pinball machine?”

  Dean laughs. “Yeah and probably anyone else who was in the bar with us that next day. Derek was razzin’ on me the next day about bringing a girl to the back room, but I didn’t care. I told them you were my dream girl. Once Brian realized it was you, he understood it was more serious than just a revenge fuck with his dad.”

  Dean laughs about what he’s about to say and I am still focused on how he called me his dream girl.

  “Don’t tell them I told you because they’ll think I’m crazy for admitting it, but the next day I kept trying to convince Derek to look up your credit card receipt, so I could get your name and try to track you down. After he told me a million times no for privacy reasons, he added you would think I was a stalker.”

  His admission shocks me. Somehow I always thought Dean just thought of that night as a hot night in the back of the bar with a stranger. I never knew he felt the same connection I did. Like no one else would ever again quite understand me the way he did.

  I feel like there’s a lot more to talk about, but I suddenly can’t help myself. I get up from the couch and place myself on Dean’s lap and press my lips to his. It only takes a moment for Dean’s hands to grab my waist and kiss me back.

  I shove my hands into his hair and pull him closer and he groans into my mouth. He pulls away slightly and tries to talk some more but I just shove my tongue in his mouth and mumble against his lips. “Talk later. I need you.”

  Dean growls and reaches behind me to unzip my dress. The straps fall down my arms and the dress pools around my waist exposing the black lingerie from last night that Ally let me have. Dean glances down and notices what I am wearing. His eyes roll back in his head and he groans. “You’re killing me Caroline.”

  I laugh and continue to grind on him while I kiss him. He pushes me away for a second. “Wait a second. Were you expecting me to take off your dress today?” His lips twitch up into a wicked smirk. I stick my tongue in my cheek trying to think of a witty comeback like usual but I’ve got nothing, so I instead I just say. “Yes.” Matter of factly.

  Dean moans. “God I’ve missed you.” and lifts me up from the couch, carrying me to his bedroom. Our lips never part the whole way.

  ◆◆◆

  After the mind blowing make-up sex that followed, we are both laying naked in his bed cuddled up under the sheets. He leans over and kisses the side of my head. “I finally get my cuddles.”

  I look down to our bodies twisted together under the sheets. I laugh. “Huh. This is the first time we’ve hooked up that I didn’t try to run from the room isn’t it?”

  Dean laughs and pulls me closer. “You give a man a complex, you know that?”

  He squeezes my side to tickle me, and I laugh/scream and swat at his chest. “Hey! I’m here now aren’t I?”

  He squeezes me tight again. “Yeah and I’m not letting you leave even if I have to hold you down.” We both laugh, and I lay my head down on his chest and just relax for a minute.

  I begin tracing my finger absently over his rippled abs. “Is it okay if I stay here until I find my own place. I’m only supposed to head back to Ally’s tonight if I’m a heartbroken mess.”

  Dean laughs. “Well, we can’t have you going back there then.” He pauses and looks down at me. “Why do you have to find your own place? You can just stay here.”

  I blink up at him surprised. “Dean, you can’t ask me to live with you already.”

  He looks down at me seriously. “Why not? You can have your own room. My place is big enough. You can take over the basement whenever you want friends over.” He pauses and kisses my lips. “Besides, I already know I’m going to want you over every night.”

  He kisses me again deeper this time. His hips grind against me to show me exactly why he wants me over.

  I push at his chest. “Easy tiger. There’ll be plenty of time for that.”

  He laughs and then his eyes light up. “Because you’ve decided to stay here?”

  “I’ll think about it.” I somehow have a feeling that after I start looking for places while staying with him, I’ll decide to just stay. I mean who wouldn’t want to live with this? I scan my eyes down his naked body, and when they make their way back up to his face, he has a devilish grin on his face. “You’re staying.”

  I just laugh. “Well if we MAYBE end up living together, we probably should discuss the big things first. What do most couples fight over?”

  Dean shrugs “Money and kids.” Then he adds. “I’m pretty good on the money front.” He pauses to think a second. “But you can’t
have any of it until you marry me. I need to hold something back to convince you to stay with me.”

  I laugh and slap his chest. “Wouldn't that mean I was only marrying you for your money? I think you have that backwards. Need to spoil me now, so then you’ll know I’m only marrying you for love.”

  I stop suddenly. Shit I just brought the L word into the conversation. I like Dean a lot but there’s no way we're at that stage yet. I try to backtrack. “I mean. You know. Hypothetically in the future. The very far away future.”

  Dean laughs and then places his hands over mine on his chest.

  “Look Caroline. I’m not going to be weird and say I love you or anything because I obviously need to get to know you more, but honestly I feel connected to you more than I have with anyone before. Your sassy attitude and witty comebacks. Not to mention how aggressively you always come onto me.” He smiles so big down at me and I scoff.

  “I do not aggressively come onto you.” but then I stop and think about every time we’ve had sex. “Okay, so maybe a couple of times.”

  We both laugh. He looks down at me seriously again and brushes some hair out of my face behind my ear. “I like you a lot Caroline, and I am what you like to call a ‘middle aged man’. I don’t plan on just wasting time dating you just to date you. I know I see a future with you.” He pauses. “So what else do you need to know?”

  His words hit me right in my heart, and I’m speechless for a moment. Finally I just say. “Kids. Do you want more kids?”

  He reaches his arm behind his head and leans back. He looks so relaxed like it is so natural for us to talk about what we want for our future in bed together.

  “I’m not opposed to the idea, but if whoever I’m with…” He pauses and nods his head at me like obviously I’m talking about you but I am not going to pressure you. He continues. “If whoever I’m with doesn’t want kids, then I’d be fine because I already have that dickhead son of mine.” We both laugh, and then I add. “No matter what happens, Brian cannot ever call me mom.”