Dark Steel

by Fable Gray

  “We are,” he said, though his voice sounded strained.

  I shook my head. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

  I tugged against his arms until he finally loosened his hold and let me turn around to see his face. At that moment, he didn’t look like he was keeping anything from me. He just looked tortured, pained, like he knew exactly what he needed or what he wanted to say, but he just couldn’t get it out.

  “Then what do you need?” I asked him.

  “You.”

  My breath caught at the heat I saw in his gaze. Then his hand slid inside the robe and down to my ass. He squeezed. A breeze blew past, but I could barely feel it when his arms were around me.

  “Declan,” I sighed.

  He either heard or saw my hesitation because he took my hand and lead me to a lounge chair at the side of the deck. It was up against the house, which blocked some of the wind.

  It still had a great view, the mountains rising in the distance as fog and clouds hovered around the peaks.

  Summer was taking its time getting here.

  Declan sat and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him. Face to face, there seemed to be little I could keep from him. Not with his eyes on me in scrutiny.

  “I need you to talk to me,” I told him, my voice so quiet it was almost swept away in the breeze.

  “I’m trying.”

  “What is it?” I asked. “What’s going on that—”

  “Royal,” he warned, voice low.

  “What? Is that so wrong of me to want to know what you’re keeping from me or—”

  “It’s not—fuck,” he hissed, eyes shutting briefly. “You’re worrying about something that isn’t a big deal. It—”

  “Not a big deal? The truth isn’t a big deal?” I gave a humorless laugh. “Of course. Make it seem like I’m being irrational here.”

  “That’s not what I said at all,” he grumbled.

  I shook my head, anger threatening to boil over. “Now, I’m the one who needs some space.”

  I shifted on his lap and started to set my hands on his shoulders to stand but Declan grabbed both my wrists in a solid grip. “Royal, please.”

  “Dammit, Declan—” I yanked my arms but he only held me tighter. “You’re being an ass.”

  “Just take a breath so we can talk—”

  “A breath?” I burst out. “Fuck that. I’m leaving.”

  “Royal,” he growled.

  When I struggled harder, he stood and turned around. Suddenly, I was laying on the lounge chair and his body was pinned on mine, my wrists still in one of his hands while the other tipped my chin up.

  My breath came out in a gasp to find myself under him in the blink of an eye. I stopped struggling immediately, knowing there was no way I could beat him. He was too strong.

  “If you think you can just bully me to get what you want, it’s not going to work,” I told him.

  “Have I asked you for anything this whole time?” When I turned my head, he gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him again. “Look at me, Royal. I haven’t asked you for anything, not since the beginning. All I wanted was my secret to be safe, but now you know it, and if it means telling the world or losing you, I’ll tell everyone I see.”

  “Declan,” I said, my voice choked. He was right. He hadn’t asked me for anything. Not to see his side, not to love him in return. He’d only pleaded with me once to keep his secret and then essentially bared his soul to me. “I just want to be here for you like you’re here for me. I…”

  He kissed me softly on the lips as his grip loosened. “You are. This. This right here is what I need. I can’t ask you to give me your trust, but I will ask that you keep believing I deserve it. I need you, Royal. If I have that—if I have you—then I can make it through anything.”

  I swallowed down a sob, feeling torn. I wanted the same thing. I wanted to believe in him but I’d been ripped apart by lies in the past and it had made me cautious—maybe too cautious. I couldn’t fathom the idea of getting hurt again. And this time, I knew the blow would hurt a lot more.

  My feelings for Declan were real and raw, and so much more than what I’d felt for Tate.

  “Please,” Declan murmured, trying to draw me from my thoughts. He bent to kiss me, his breath warm on my lips before they touched mine. My hands were still in his grip, wedged between our bodies.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. Not the angst in his voice or the pleading look in his eyes, one that said he’d do anything for me. I rose up as much as possible and kissed him with every raw emotion I felt.

  He made a noise low in his throat, something close to anguish, that pierced my heart.

  “I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

  A hot tear slid the length of my cheek but I couldn’t even wipe it away.

  Instead of releasing me, Declan lifted my wrists and pinned them above my head. He used his free hand to wipe my cheek, dashing away the errant tear before kissing its path.

  “You’re doing exactly what I need you to do—exactly what we need,” Declan reassured me.

  Too many thoughts bombarded me at that moment, and I just wanted them to all go away. I wanted to lose myself in Declan and take myself back to yesterday when there had been so much promise for us.

  “I need you.” My voice was raw but strong. “Declan, I need to feel you inside of me.”

  His fingers flexed around my wrists and then he moved faster than I could see. With his free hand, he’d shoved down his jeans and boxers, his cock springing up between us. My lips parted in surprise a moment before he captured my mouth with his own.

  I shifted beneath him, straining against the fingers that still bound me. But Declan still didn’t release me. Instead, he eased back so he could see me stretched out fully on the lounge chair beneath him, wet with longing.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured, sliding his free hand down my side. He parted the robe completely, letting in the chill of cold air against my bare skin. The thin T-shirt I wore rode up over my abdomen, but I wore nothing else but a pair of his socks.

  Declan drew in a shaky breath. “I don’t think it would be possible for me to love you any more than I already do. It’s physical ache inside of me…” He swallowed hard and met my eyes briefly. “Tell me you believe me. That you know I only have your best interest at heart.”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  The air moved out of his lips in a long sigh, one that showed me he was as much a man as he was something more. He might be stronger, faster, more than seemed possible physically, but inside, he was still a human—a man who was capable of making mistakes.

  And a man who was capable of loving with his whole heart.

  “Touch me,” I whispered.

  He moved slowly, his touch almost reverent on my skin. He finally released my wrists, letting me reciprocate. Letting me pull off his shirt and touch hot skin and strong muscles, letting me clasp his body against mine, not only for the heat but to feel complete. At that moment, we were one and nothing else existed.

  Declan lifted my shirt over my breasts and then bowed his head. His lips closed over the nipple of one breast, the heat of his mouth a shock against my cold skin. He flicked his tongue against the hard peak, nearly driving me mad with his skill.

  My hand fisted in his hair while my body throbbed with the need for release. I parted my thighs, wanting to feel the weight of him, so filled with longing I was actually trying to get him to hurry.

  “Declan, please,” I said a moment before his hand moved to cup my sex. “Oh, God…”

  “Patience,” he whispered, running his finger along my wet slit. “This is the first time I’ve had a woman—any woman—here at my house. I’m making the most of it.”

  “Make the most of it faster,” I urged him.

  He chuckled, sounding like the carefree Declan I’d spent the evening with last night. “I warned you that I had a plan for this weekend. And plans take time to come to fruition.”


  “Plans and fruition,” I muttered. My breath caught when he slid a finger inside of me. “You have a lot to say for someone who should be busy doing something else.”

  Another chuckle. But his eyes darkened with hunger at the words and he nodded. “Good point.”

  So instead of talking, he put his mouth to use by running kisses down my stomach and to my thighs. My legs quivered when I felt the heat of his breath against the wetness of my sex. He pushed another finger inside of me and then bowed to flick his tongue on my clit.

  “Declan,” I gasped.

  In response, he pushed my legs open wider. “I’m going to make you come like this and then come again when I’m inside of you. And then…” His eyes flicked to mine and he smiled. “Then I’m going to take you inside and do it again. Until you’re too sore to walk.”

  I shivered and closed my eyes. The words alone nearly made me come. And when he put his mouth on me again, my body jerked, barely holding on. He moved his tongue along my slit and then ran it over my clit as it throbbed intensely with the need for release.

  Reaching down, I clasped my hands on his shoulders in a death grip. My whole body tightened and then bowed off the chair as I came, pleasure shooting through me in bolts of lightning.

  Declan didn’t stop. He continued to torment me with his tongue until I squeezed my fingers. “I can’t—Declan—”

  With another gasp of air, he moved so he was inside of me, his impressive length sliding all the way in and filling me full. The movement was so sudden and so intense, it made me come again. I squeezed tight around him as shock waves rolled over me.

  “You’re so warm and tight,” Declan said, his body covering mine. “God, Royal…”

  He didn’t finish what he was going to say, just started pumping his hips against mine. One sensation ran into the next so I couldn’t tell whether it was an aftershock or he was making me orgasm all over again. My sex throbbed, body tense with arousal, as he continued to thrust in and out.

  I was surprised flames didn’t erupt between us, surprised I hadn’t yet gone weak from overuse. How long could he keep this up? And how long before I couldn’t take it anymore?

  “Come for me, Declan,” I ordered, shoving my hips against his.

  His eyes jerked to mine one second before he came. I saw the emotion there, the pure pleasure, and then felt the release when his arms locked around me. His breath fluttered my hair as panted, his body shuddering with the release.

  I held him tight for a long moment, wishing life was always this simple and straight forward. That words came as easily as actions.

  Finally, I shifted and murmured, “I can’t move.”

  Declan immediately moved to the side to take the weight off of me. “Sorry.”

  I gave a weak laugh. “It’s not because of you.” I waved a hand. “Well, yeah, it’s because of you. Not you being on me, but you having an insatiable appetite.”

  His lips curved. “An appetite for your body. And your mind. All of you, Royal. I’ll never get sick of it.”

  He stood for a moment, giving me a view of his magnificent body, before sitting next to me and pulling me against him. He tucked the robe around my legs and then put his arms around me. I set my cheek on his chest.

  At any other moment, I’d be looking at the mountains, watching the fog slither lazily by trees and rocks. But right now, I was so relaxed, so spent, I closed my eyes and snuggled into Declan for warmth.

  A million questions raced through my mind, but I couldn’t seem to force myself to say any of them. Like opening my mouth would completely ruin the magic of the moment.

  “I thought you were going to take me inside and…” I yawned and then returned my cheek to Declan’s chest. “Make me too sore to walk or whatever.”

  His laughter rumbled in his chest. “There will be time for that. I think, right now, I’ll let you rest.”

  “I’m just…so relaxed.”

  He ran his hand over my hair. “Then relax. We have nowhere else we need to be.”

  After another moment, he asked, “Did you get to finish your tour?”

  “I did. Your place is beautiful. And it looks like you actually work in your office, which is funny.”

  He curled my hair around one of his fingers. “Why is that funny?”

  “Because I have no idea how you’d get any work done, with a view like that outside your window. I’d be hopeless. “

  “I do have days like that. I get distracted by the view. And in the past, I’d get distracted by thoughts of you too. If you were here all the time, between that and the view, I would definitely not ever get any work done.”

  He said it as a joke, but I couldn’t find it in me to smile. I wanted to be here all the time. I wanted more with Declan. But now my doubts were kicking in overtime, and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Every moment we weren’t intimate, the real world kicked in. And in the real world, there were truths I didn’t know.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  I sighed. And then, after debating another long moment, I opened my eyes and flashed him a small smile. “Everything is fine.”

  I knew I’d kick myself for it later. That had been my go-to way of dealing with the situation in the past as well. Smile and pretend that everything was fine. I promised myself I’d never do that again with a man, but there was a small part of me that knew it wasn’t realistic anymore. Sometimes certain conversations weren’t worth the fight. And ruining my memory of this weekend wasn’t worth it either.

  I’d get the information out of Declan tomorrow, and if he didn’t want to open up to me, then I didn’t know if this relationship had legs to stand on.

  Chapter 32

  The next morning, I woke when I heard buzzing and felt Declan getting out of bed. It was dim when I opened my eyes, but I saw him grab his cell phone off the end table and vanish from the room, closing the door softly behind him.

  Now what? Curious, and trying not to give in to that feeling of dread in my gut, I sat up and grabbed the robe at the end of the bed. When I stood and put it on, I reminded myself that it might just be someone calling from work. And him leaving the room was just a considerate gesture not to wake me up.

  A glance at the clock told me it was almost eight. Eight am on a Sunday could still be work, I rationalized. Declan seemed to work at all hours of the day no matter what day of the week it was.

  I didn’t pull on socks this time, just walked to the door and eased it open as quietly as possible. There was silence. I didn’t even know where Declan went.

  But I still crept down the hall, hoping he didn’t hear me. Or hoping, rather that I’d catch some information to know exactly what he was up to. Which was horrible. I was trying to catch him in a lie, and it made me feel guilty. But not too guilty to stop.

  I moved through the living room, to the kitchen, and then passed the dining room and walked to the whole other side of the house. And then I heard it, just the low murmur of a voice.

  His office. He’d gone far enough away that I wouldn’t have heard him if I hadn’t woken up and seen him leave.

  “This isn’t a good time,” Declan said in a growl.

  It was quiet for another minute and I walked few feet closer. When the floor creaked under me, I winced. Then gasped when Declan appeared in the doorway.

  He was in boxer briefs, and the phone was nowhere to be seen.

  “Royal,” he said, surprised. “Did I wake you?”

  “I heard you leave. And I heard you talking to someone.”

  “Talking to someone? It’s just me here.”

  He evaded the question, but the brief moment of hesitation before that told me the truth. I walked to the door of the room, brushing past him to peer inside.

  And there it was—his phone, sitting on the edge of the desk where he’d probably set it after he’d hung up quickly.

  “Who were you talking to?” I asked, trying to stay calm.

  Declan folded his arms, getting that closed
off look again. “No one. I was just checking my messages.”

  “And the night before last? When you were supposedly talking to yourself in the bathroom? You had your phone with you then too.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Royal,” he started.

  I shoved my hands into my hair and then forced myself to stay calm. I wasn’t going to break down in front of him. That was another thing I promised myself. I wouldn’t completely lose myself and breakdown in front of a man again. But that didn’t mean my heart didn’t take a sharp dive.

  “Forget it,” I said and turned back to the door. I’d barely made it two steps before Declan’s arms were around me. I gritted my teeth. “Let go.”

  “Royal,” he murmured in my ear. “You know I do business at all hours of the day.”

  “So that’s what you’re telling me? That was business? Because you’re being awfully secretive for something that has an easy explanation.”

  “Royal,” he tried again instead of answering the question.

  “No!” I jerked out of his grasp and held up my hands. “You don’t get to touch me like that. I think it’s time to go.”

  I strode in the opposite direction, going to find my clothes from Friday. I hadn’t cared before, but now I was irritated that I didn’t have anything else to wear. A comfortable pair of jeans to slide into and a T-shirt so I could head to my dad’s house. I told him I’d stop by today and I wasn’t going to break my promise.

  Declan kept up with me easily, his long strides eating up the floor. He kept trying to talk to me along the way, but I kept shaking my head. “It’s fine,” I told him. “You obviously have business to do, and I’m clearly in the way. I’m going to get dressed and go.”

  “Dammit, Royal, stop. You can’t just race off—”

  “Seriously?” I threw him a scathing glare. “You’re not trying to tell me what to do right now.”

  “No, I’m trying to keep you safe. And you’re getting upset for no reason.”

  I stopped at the bed in the master bedroom, incredulous. “No reason? So now you make the guidelines on what should make me upset? You told me we were going to be honest with each other—”