Cursed With Power

by Lindsey Richardson

  “Alaire, what is this?” I mumbled, wincing at the question. I was afraid of what his answer might be, but I had waited too long for this.

  He tilted his head toward me, and I knew my words had not been audible. I sighed and tried again.

  “Is this… love?” As silly as the question sounded, I couldn’t read his thoughts.

  Lowering his head against my neck, he breathed onto my skin. “All my life I thought I had figured out what love was. Now I realize I’ve never understood it. I want to tell you; let’s go somewhere we can be alone.”

  Once more, he offered his free hand to me. I accepted and couldn’t resist smiling, though a frightening thought crossed my mind. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, and that thought alone was much scarier than the kiss. If he didn’t love me, would we lose our friendship because of it? With pleasure there is always a sacrifice to be made. Was either of us ready to sacrifice something for the other?

  Alaire squeezed my hand, and I nodded for him to lead the way. I walked alongside him, though half of me was distracted by the intentions he might have.

  How could someone like him ever love me? I thought. In the back of my mind I considered the numerous times we had been this close, and now that he had finally kissed me the world seemed to be spinning. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t fall for another man unless he could prove he would stand by me loyally. As we continued through the street, I glanced at Alaire when he was looking away and knew in my heart that he had always been by my side.

  Abruptly Alaire stopped and limped over to the window of a bakery. The baker pulled out a fresh loaf of bread while Alaire stood helplessly drooling from the appeasing smells. Meanwhile, I released his hand and noticed the thin alley between the bakery and the next shop.

  “I’ve found a place,” I called out.

  Wobbling over, Alaire stepped into the alley as I followed close behind. The roofs of the two stores shaded the area so that most locals wouldn’t be able to see through, and if they did we were nothing but mere strangers. I didn’t want to imagine the reasons behind Alaire requesting that we be alone.

  I stood against the wall of one building, and his body leaned in close to mine. His hand stroked the side of my neck, shaking as if I was a fragile doll.

  Stepping back, he said, “Do you recall what I told you last night?”

  “Yes, the visions,” I said in a murmur.

  His eyes lowered and for a moment it seemed his body had frozen. I brushed my hand against his to regain his attention, and his stare returned to me. A faint smile filled his face, as if for the first time he was seeing me. I attempted a wide smile, but I feared this talk about visions was a distraction from where our relationship currently stood.

  “There was a vision I had several months ago.” Alaire tilted his head as a couple walked past the alley, holding onto each other’s arms. When they were out of sight his focus returned.

  “For nearly two months I foresaw the same future night after night. You were in that vision, Celestria,” he said.

  I remained still like a statue.

  “What are not you telling me?” I asked, swallowing the little confidence I had left.

  “I’m not sure how to tell you.”

  I whispered, “I want to be that person you can come to about anything. You can tell me your true feelings; there’s no one else here.”

  Alaire’s eyes suddenly widened. He looked like a deer that had been struck down in the forest.

  “Do you smell that? It’s like… something’s burning,” he said.

  Before I could answer him, he was staggering out of the alley. I caught up to him, though now I could smell the horrid scent of smoke in the air. As soon as we stood outside of the alley there was a church behind the two hovels by the bakery. There was a white cross on the building, but above it there was smoke rising from the church. The scent of burning wood lifted into the air. I watched in horror, and then I turned to Alaire to ask what we should do. He was already ahead of me, striding toward the fire like nothing would stop him. His limp looked painful; he must have been forcing a lot of pressure on it with how fast he was trying to walk.

  I pursued after him, though locals were coming out of their houses to see what the commotion was about. They shouted and cried out for help, but none of them attempted to stop the fire. I lost Alaire in the crowd as more people gathered around in a circle outside. I pushed past all of them, hoping I wouldn’t lose sight of my companion. After a few minutes, I stood at the front of the crowd and gawked at the four men who were throwing water on the flames.

  They grabbed buckets and filled them with water from barrels and a well in the middle of the street. Searching to the left and right, it appeared Alaire was nowhere in sight. I noticed one man limped with a cane, and then I cursed that Alaire was by the church with the others. There weren’t any other thoughts that crossed my mind; I fetched a bucket and ran to the church, listening as the water slapped against the old building.

  Tugging the collar of Alaire’s tunic as he passed by me, I said, “Are you insane? This is too dangerous, and you’ve already been hurt.”

  Alaire shook his head at me and returned in pursuing more water.

  Glass shattered and fell from the windows while flames hissed out from every corner of the church. I stood motionless with my bucket, and the men around me had stopped as well. It was only Alaire who continued retrieving water from the well, throwing it at the building, and repeating the process again. Though I tried calling out to him, he limped past me each time with more determination in his face. All I could think of was Daciana’s warnings.

  “If anything happens to him, the fault falls on you,” she had said.

  Those words rang through my head like bells. Alaire’s health was on the line, but if I attempted to touch him during this fragile time he might do something he would later regret. I knew nothing about his state of mind for the time being, but as the fire continued to roar I feared the sparks would hit him.

  He saved your life; it’s time for you to save his, I thought.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Something Left to Save

  Whether he loved me or not, whether we were truly inseparable or I was simply falling for him faster than he could catch me, I would risk taking the first sacrifice.

  Carefully, I approached him from behind and tapped his shoulder. When he turned around I understood why no one else had stopped him. There were tears streaming down his dirty face; they washed away the soot. He wrapped his arms around my waist and embraced me, but instantly he pulled away and glared at the people around us.

  “Who has done this? What cruel human being could dare do this to something sacred?” Alaire shouted.

  The locals shuddered and backed away, realizing his temper. Even I noticed, though I did not keep my distance from him. My heart reasoned that no matter what he would not do something foolish. Yet even as I tried to reassure myself, he ripped a woman out from the crowd and screamed in her face.

  “Did you do this? Are you accountable?” He shook her with whatever strength he had in his left arm.

  I stepped back; my jaw hung open at his booming voice and firm hold. Taking a second glance at the victim, I recognized her to be the one who had taken me to Grefin’s house.

  “No, sir,” she quivered. She pleaded to be released, but Alaire led her closer to the church.

  I followed behind them, though the confidence I had in Alaire’s ability to remain calm was slowly dissolving. A man approached him as the woman hollered that she was being harassed.

  “Please don’t harm me. My son went into the church; he needs me. Let me go to my child, sir,” she cried.

  Alaire released her, and then I approached him and grasped his hand. I held him close to me, whispering into his ear that everything would turn out all right.

  His cheeks dissolved of color as he said, “It was a church.”

  “I know,” I answered, since I could not understand his state of mind. I
rubbed his back with my hand, trying to comfort him in whatever way I could.

  “Celestria, it was a church,” his head dropped. In a whisper that only I could hear, he murmured, “The one good place in this world, and now it’s gone. I have never imagined anyone could be soulless enough to do this.”

  I stood in front of him and brushed my hand through his hair. “Neither did I, but we can change this, Alaire. This is only the beginning.”

  The mother was pulled back into the crowd by the priest. He rested his hand on her shoulder, but he spoke no words of comfort. As the sparks rushed out of the church building, I could not take my eyes away from the horrid sight. Noises faded into the background; my attention was on the frail building. Soon the flames would be too overwhelming, and with a glance at Alaire I knew he was in no condition to help. If the constable couldn’t arrive in time, the child would die. I remembered the boy’s joy, and he reminded me of myself as a child. The children did not have to worry about war or love or faith; they were our society’s innocence.

  Embracing Alaire one last time, I turned away from him and ran into the burning church. He called out my name, but it was already too late.

  Heat rose from the floorboards the moment I entered. Everywhere I looked the fire had spread. Even by wrapping the scarf around my mouth, some of the smoke still flew up my nostrils. Struggling against a board to remain balanced, I yelped when the board unexpectedly snapped in half.

  Within minutes Alaire toppled over me, and I argued with him over why he didn’t belong in the building. Surprisingly, his leg wasn’t further injured by the fall. He would have been safe among the locals; they were just as concerned as he was about the fire.

  “I need to do this!” I yelled at Alaire.

  He surrendered, and then I caught a glimpse of the boy in the corner. Alaire led me over to him, pushing away rubble with his cane. The boy was huddled, shaking with sweat and soot covering his entire body. His arm showed the marks of a burn that might permanently scorch him.

  Gathering him up in my arms, I stood up and began carrying him out. All the while Alaire kept a firm grip on my hand while he used his cane as a guide. His palm was sweaty against mine, but once we reached the door he released me and pushed me out of the building.

  The moment I was safely away from the flames, I placed the boy in the care of his mother. I turned around to praise Alaire, since he deserved acknowledgment, but he was gone. Somehow he had been caught up in the church, and within moments the entire roof would collapse. I was certain he had been behind me, but an unsettling amount of guilt clouded my thoughts for not having held his hand so that we would have stayed together.

  I was determined to rescue Alaire before the building was engulfed in flames. However, the constable held me back, making it impossible for me to approach the church. I knew Alaire was inside, but I couldn’t understand why the constable would not release me from his iron grip. I swarmed in his arms, kicking and twisting my body in any way that might help my escape.

  “Alaire!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, but there was no answer.

  My knees crumbled to the ground, and then the crowd made an audible hum. I glanced up with the slightest of hope, and without a doubt there was the faintest figure of a man emerging from the smoke. Everyone froze while I gasped in disbelief.

  Alaire staggered out of the rubble with his hand covering his chest. I swarmed in my captor’s arms until at last he released me. Standing up, I raced to Alaire and embraced him as emotions overwhelmed me. Alaire dropped his head while I wiped away a tear from my eye. He groaned, and I took a step back from him to notice the blood soaking his hand.

  The hiss of the fire grew louder, and the cross fell through the ceiling as more flames erupted. I forced him to look away for both our sakes. Neither of us would be able to see anymore, and I was certain if we did then there would be a lost sense of hope. Already enough had been lost in the past days; I could not bear for him to suffer furthermore from our experience.

  “Hey,” the constable said, approaching close to us.

  I wrapped my arm around Alaire, but I did not want him to separate us. They had no right to bother us when we did nothing wrong.

  “The fire might spread; we need to clear the area,” he said. Taking another glance at Alaire, he asked, “Are you in need of a doctor?”

  “No, she will help me,” Alaire answered, tilting his head toward me.

  The chevalier turned his back and ordered the locals to return home.

  I held onto Alaire and hoped no more harm would fall upon him. Daciana had warned me to watch Alaire, but the wound in his chest added to his injuries. My thoughts relied solely on returning to Grefin. I pushed through the locals as they moved away from the scene. Placing my hand on Alaire’s chest, I felt his rapid heartbeat and the thickness of his blood.

  “What happened to you?” I asked.

  Alaire’s other hand still held onto his cane, though it shook like his balance wasn’t stable.

  “I realized the ceiling would collapse, and I feared there wasn’t enough time. I pushed you and the boy out of harm’s way, and that’s when the building started to cave in. When I used my magic it saved me from the fire, but it must have backfired somehow. Good god, what’s wrong with me?” he replied.

  I urged him to continue on, seeing as I had no explanation, but the same question pondered through my thoughts. It was uncommon for a magician’s spell to backfire on them, and I had only heard of cases in which it happened because the magician was inexperienced with the spell. Might the poison from earlier have affected Alaire’s magic as well?

  All I desired was to return home again. Ironically, I thought of Grefin’s manor as my “home” now. Alaire required persistent medical attention, which meant Grefin had been right. I would need to return to his manor again, no matter what happened in Belsgar.

  Minutes later I led Alaire into Grefin's house, shouting Daciana's name. She came down the stairs, then immediately sprinted toward us when she saw Alaire. Ignoring my explanations, she complained about how careless I had been.

  We both helped to carry him back to his bedroom, since he was growing weaker by the second. Daciana closed all the curtains, and all that remained was a single candle to light the room. I didn’t know why she needed the darkness, but I knew better than to ask.

  Daciana picked up a needle from the bureau and then squinted at a piece of thread she attempted to weave through it. She ordered me to remove Alaire’s shirt so that she could treat him. All the while, he remained silent and motionless.

  “Why would you risk his life for a stranger’s child?” Daciana grumbled with her focus on the work in front of her.

  “No one would have saved the boy if I hadn’t. Alaire was hurt because he came after me,” I said.

  She shook her head, though I noticed how she only seemed concerned for Alaire. Both our lives had been at risk when we pursued the boy in the fire.

  “Yes, and this is the second time he has been hurt on your watch. Show him some respect; he’s done everything for you.”

  Staring at Alaire’s wound, I nodded in agreement. He was ill because of a fight I had involved myself in, and now he was bleeding because of a child I chose to pursue.

  When at last Daciana was successful, I watched in dismay as she threaded the needle through Alaire's skin. He winced once the needle went through, but in a second it came out through the other side of his skin and Daciana continued with her work. The procedure was gruesome, yet he did not complain or ask for anything to ease the pain. The wound was close to his shoulder wound, which had only begun to heal. I felt uneasy standing near the bed, and seeing him ill once again was no comfort.

  “What were you thinking? You’re a Dark magician; there’s no deed that can change that,” Daciana said while pressing her free hand against Alaire’s skin.

  Looking away from the sight, I answered, “We are as human as you. I cannot change what our magic has formed us into, but there must be goo
d in us. After all, you chose to heal Alaire.”

  Before I could contemplate on anything else, the wound was stitched together. She thanked me for my assistance, but my words had left her otherwise speechless. Daciana left to find her master while I remained in the room with Alaire. Approaching closer, I listened to Alaire’s faint breaths and my dress as it brushed against the floorboards.

  I stood a step away from the bed, yet I dared not to sit next to him. I didn’t want to bother him with questions about love when he was in this condition. The timing would be wrong.

  “Alaire,” I began, staring down at his hand. When I looked up our eyes met, and for a moment I stared into his eyes and let the possibilities take control of my thoughts. Then I blinked, and I reconsidered how to tell him about Emeria’s proposal from earlier. Apparently she recognized him from the last time he visited Grefin, so perhaps he knew more about her.

  “I need to travel to Belsgar before Aldemund leaves, and Emeria reasons she must come in order for me to sneak past the guards.”

  He shook his head. “No one sneaks past anything there. Emeria is Grefin’s best student and the youngest Light magician I’ve ever known to have such great wisdom. If there is anyone who will be accepted in, it is her.”

  My jaw hung. “I don’t care who she is. She is a child and you said so yourself, she is a Light magician. We’ve killed Light magicians before.”

  “We killed one Light magician together. You can have your reasons to hate her, but she has just as many to hate you. Listen to me, you need her in order to survive. I know magicians who made the mistake of trying to enter on their own, and they never returned to tell the story,” he said.

  I looked down at my own hands, which were folded together. “Maybe you did not realize, but I’ve been doing a lot on my own for quite some time now. I can manage without anybody. ”

  We need each other… There are dark parts of this world you have not seen before, Léal’s voice repeated in my head.

  “I never saved you,” I said out loud, though I had not intended to.