Rocks Fall Everyone Dies

by Eddie Skelson

  ‘Can we use it to send him back to Hell, get it from Felicity?’

  Daisy asked.

  ‘No.’ Valeran answered. ‘We need his name from the Plane of Hell to do that.’

  ‘Mortals.’

  Moloch, The Ice Prince of Hell walked forward, his mighty, thick legs knocking his followers into each other. The snow beneath his feet melted and steamed from the heat of them, for even an Ice Demon is imbued with the fires of Hell. He continued to grow as he neared, ten feet, twelve feet, fifteen feet. He was a mass of sculpted muscle, his eyes as blue as the sky above and great moose-horns extended either side of his head.

  ‘I am Moloch! Arch-Demon of the Abyss, and today I will take from you the future of this place.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ Corbett asked of Valeran.

  ‘Buggered if I know old boy.’ Valeran said. ‘Prophecy was never really my thing.’

  ‘Oh wonderful.’ Corbett said.

  ‘Wait, that’s something.’ Daisy said. ‘The Prophecy.’

  ‘What about it? It’s all bollocks isn’t it? He fed that to the girl so she wouldn’t realise he was just a massive evil fucker, didn’t he? Corbett said.

  ‘Maybe.’ Daisy said, recalling the conversation regarding the threat of fire and brimstone. ‘But perhaps he showed her all he needed too so she would fall for it. Maybe she saw more, but he just didn’t tell her what she was seeing.’

  ‘I don’t follow.’ Corbett said.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. All we have to go on is what Felicity told us and that perhaps some of it is true. There’s the Gate. We know it exists because Donalt had the map. She took it, copied it and then Moloch transmitted the information to his minions.’

  ‘So?’ Corbett said. Lost.

  ‘So, he must also need the Gate. And the odds are that he doesn’t want us to go through it. It’s the exact opposite of what Felicity told us. She saw us go through the Gate, all of us, and that stopped the… whatever, the end of the world most likely. You see? Moloch convinced her to lose Donalt and Dorian, and now all he has to do is stop us reaching the Gate.’

  ‘Well that’s not going to be very difficult is it. There is no Gate!’ Corbett said. His fear was coming to the surface now. ‘We are soooo fucked.’

  ‘So, we Chop Chop then.’ Andreton said. ‘It is a good day to die.’

  ‘No its not!’ Corbett said violently. ‘A Sunday is a good day to die. When I’m a hundred and eighty-five years old because I drank some elixir that keeps me both alive and virile. And I need to be balls deep in one of my fifteen or so attractive, eternally submissive concubines who also happen to be wonderful cooks.’

  Daisy rounded on him ‘Is that as much as you think of women Corbett? As slaves. As sexual conveniences?’

  ‘In the absence of a future lasting more than five minutes. Yes.’ He said. ‘But get me out of this alive and I’ll personally reassess that opinion and pledge to give all women total equality with men regardless of race, creed or colour.’

  ‘You are such twat, Wizard.’ Daisy barked.

  ‘Why aren’t they attacking?’ Valeran said. ‘I just don’t get it. Even Moloch is just standing there.’

  ‘The Gate.’ Daisy said, snapping her fingers. ‘Felicity said she saw the Gate, so it must have to be here for the Prophecy.’

  ‘Well, there is no Gate, so surely this is all moot. No Gate, no Prophecy. No need to kill us all.’ Corbett said and he began to wonder if perhaps there was a chance they might escape.

  ‘Demons can’t last outside of their host for very long. If they piss about they are going to be sucked back into the Abyss as the Essence they draw from their host depleted. And if the host is killed, they are screwed. No wonder Feleicty is being hidden from us.’

  He looked about for the Sorceress. Perhaps if he could detect her location a well-placed fireball might…

  Suddenly, the ground beneath them began to shudder. Francis recommenced her frantic mooing. Each of them began to stagger and then slip as it seemed the snow their feet moved from beneath their feet.

  ‘What the!’ Daisy exclaimed.

  The Orcs also slipped, and some fell, but they still did not attack. Moloch stood, awesome and silent, with an aura of satisfaction about him.

  The snow and ice streaked around them, as though the blizzard had returned but came from below and not above. What appeared to be icy tendrils began to twist around the gathered Orcs and they finally scattered as the strange writhing anomalies tossed some of their number into the air.

  ‘Is this your doing Corbett?’ Daisy asked, watching the icy vines begin to intertwine.

  ‘Not me.’ Corbett shook his head. ‘Impressive though.’

  The Orcs and Wargs scrambled to escape from beneath the peculiar ice storm. The strange winds ceased moving and gathered closely. A cloud of freezing particles boiled beneath them.

  ‘Is it the Demon? Can he do this?’ Daisy asked of Valeran.

  ‘Yes. And I believe I know what it is he’s doing.’

  Valeran called upon the energy blessed to him, reached up to the sky, then snatched his hand down. Each member of the party felt a warm skin of magic coat them.

  ‘While they are distracted. Prepare.’ Valeran said quickly.

  He had been at the heart of enough battles to sense when an appointment on a field was reaching the point that shouting at each across battle lines was going to turn into running at each other with swords out.

  ‘Teleport, teleport, teleport.’ Corbett thought. ‘Do it now?

  ‘You must not flee Jeremy.’ Kezra called to him, although she seemed somewhere far away in his mind. ‘Your friends need you!’

  ‘They’re not my friends.’ Corbett murmured. He rolled back his sleeves and licked his lips. ‘Fire, I think. Yes. Lots of lovely hot water to turn the ground to mud. See how they like running over that.’

  Andreton turned to Daisy and looked down upon her with a solemn, determined expression. ‘Andreton must protect Francis, as she has no sword or mighty axe or magic stuff.’

  ‘Right.’ Daisy replied, not really sure what to do with that information. She instead turned to face the scene beyond them. Something was emerging from the cloud of ice. Something that was already taller than Moloch, who stood before it, his mighty fists on his hips. ‘He doesn’t give a shit about us, does he?’

  Valeran shook his head. ‘He knows we aren’t going anywhere. That thing that’s forming, it’s the Gate. He’s seen all of this. The Prophecy was being led by him all along.’

  Daisy nodded ‘And so he misled Felicity with it all. Showed her the parts that suited him so she would split us up, reduce our numbers.’

  ‘Yes. I believe so.’ Valeran said, gently placing his palm upon Daisy’s forehead. A cerise light glimmered about his fingers.

  ‘There. You will have great resistance to knocks and blows. The blessing should be sufficient to reduce most impacts, for a short while at least.’

  ‘Do you think we can fight our way out?’ She asked.

  ‘No. There are too many of them and Moloch will have incredible strength and resistance. We couldn’t match them long enough to break through.’

  ‘We’re screwed then.’ Daisy said.

  ‘Perhaps not, but somewhere in that crowd Felicity is being held. Most likely she is the anchor that is allowing the Demon to exist here and yet still draw power from his domain. If there is no anchor, his power will fade.’

  ‘We kill her?’ Daisy asked.

  Valeran made a series of strange finger movements in the air, then pointed at Andreton, then Corbett. ‘Hmm.’ He grunted, approvingly at his work then looked back to Daisy.

  ‘We have to break the connection. If the only way to do that is too kill her, then yes, that is what we must do.’

  ‘I don’t know if I could do that.’ Daisy said.

  ‘No problem for me.’ Corbett said.

  Valeran and Daisy turned to the Wizard as Corbett shook his wrists and performed a couple of exerc
ises to loosen up.

  ‘I’ll flambé the lot of you if it means that big bad bastard doesn’t get to eat my soul.’

  ‘You’re a real hero Corbett.’ Daisy said, disgusted.

  ‘Whatever.’ He replied with no indication that he was offended. ‘I’ll bet Gladys there has played fast and loose with his moral compass to reach ninety.’

  ‘I’m seventy-six you cheeky bastard.’ Valeran said, amply supplying the offence that Corbett hadn’t bothered with.

  ‘Who cares?’ Corbett said. He tightened the belt of his robes. ‘You may want to stop looking at me and look at the real bad guys. Because I think our Demon friend is finished with his ice sculpture.’

  They all looked from the wizard and up to the towering structure which had risen in front of Moloch. It was breath-takingly beautiful. Tall pillars that reached up to the sky for some forty feet stood either side of a crystalline circle. Within in the circle, a nebulous cloud of scintillating colour slowly wheeled at its centre. Steps lead up to it, perfectly cut as though they had just been chiselled into the solid ice. The weak sun reflected through exciting, and geometry defying angles, producing spectacular flares of light and giving the whole edifice a shimmering halo.

  Moloch turned to face them. A huge smile opened across his face. His colossal black figure appeared to suck in the spectacular light from the Gate.

  ‘And now the prophecy can be fulfilled.’ The Demon roared.

  As one, every Orc and Warg returned their attention to the party.

  Corbett pushed Valeran and Daisy out the way and stepped up to the front, facing the horde as it began to move towards them.

  ‘Come on then you horrible twats. Let’s have it.’ He shouted at the top of his voice.

  Daisy was amazed at the Wizard’s incredible change in attitude, at his brave defiance of all the odds stacked against him. For a moment she thought that this might be the defining moment of her story. Of how, against impossible odds, a lone Wizard, a maverick who had at first appeared to be nothing more than a selfish opportunist had stepped up and led them on to a great and epic victory.

  Then, she realised that Corbett was just going to fuck off.

  Which he did.

  Critical Tumble

  ‘Holy shit that guy’s big!’ Donalt said as the Demon grew to its towering thirty-foot height.

  ‘It has to be Moloch.’ Dorian said.

  ‘Definitely not one of the Wizard’s? He’s always banging on that he’s got a couple inside his head.’ Donalt asked, not believing it himself but feeling the question should be broached.

  Dorian shook his head. ‘No. At least I don’t think so. That has to be Felicity’s work.’

  ‘Wow. She really is a nasty cow.’ Donalt said.

  Dorian didn’t reply. He didn’t want to believe he had been so taken in by her. He also could still not accept that, despite everything that had occurred, the Sorceress had planned all of this. That she wanted this.

  They were perched atop a large outcrop of snow-covered rocks. There were trees here. They were completely devoid of foliage, the wood frozen solid but the black branches were sufficient to offer at least some camouflage. When the storm had begun to drop and revealed the horde of Orcs and Wargs massed around the party they had decided that wisdom lay in observation rather than valorous but almost certainly pointless action.

  ‘Something’s happening.’ Donalt said.

  They were now relying on his eyesight because Dorian was struggling with his. The Bazzle was keeping his pain at bay but the stress on his body and mind was becoming too much. His vision was blurry and his breathing becoming hard.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I don’t know. There’s… a cloud. On the floor, like a fog. Its building up.’

  ‘Gods, I feel useless.’ Dorian said.

  ‘Yup.’ Donalt replied.

  ‘Thanks.’ Dorian replied.

  He wasn’t used to being around a person had absolutely no consideration for someone’s feelings. He wondered if the Rogue and the Wizard might be related.

  ‘Something is growing. Near to the Demon. I can see what look like spires or… I don’t know. I think it’s the ice though. Magic is turning the ice into a construction.’

  ‘The Gate.’ Dorian said with certainty

  ‘’Ya think?’

  ‘Yes. When we stepped over the snowline, the layout of the mountains altered. The magic did that. From outside there’s nothing of interest, nothing to make it worth the journey, unless you had a map to follow of course.’

  ‘So the Gate was the ice itself. Incredible.’

  ‘Yes. Something triggered its reconstruction. Perhaps it’s the Demons magic, although that’s unlikely, I think. It’s the party, or one of them at least.’

  ‘Shit. The thing is enormous.’

  Dorian could vaguely make out the Gate as it gained in substance. The way it glistened from this distance and with his poor vision made him think that it must be utterly beautiful close-up.

  ‘You know what’s going to happen when that things finished being created don’t you? Donalt said, grim acceptance in his tone.

  ‘The Orcs will attack. They are going to be overwhelmed.’ Dorian replied.

  ‘Rhetorical question, but yes. That’s right. What do we do?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just don’t.’ Dorian leaned back against the frozen trunk of their perch.

  The Ranger was done for, the Rogue knew this to be true. Donalt had always felt he was at his best when the odds were against him. Despite his constant moaning about things not going his way his mood lifted, his thinking became sharper, faster, when under pressure.

  ‘Can I do anything, alone?’ He thought. ‘There must be something. Some scheme. Some plan I can…’

  There was nothing. He knew it. Even if Dorian was on top form there would be no breaking through the horde quickly enough.

  The Gate was there now. Surely that meant something? Felicity had talked to them about prophecy, about them all going through that thing together. Then she had done everything she could to prevent that happening. She had copied the map, got the details to the Orcs, believed she had lost him and Dorian, and now released a Demon into the material world. And perhaps there was the solution. If everything she had done was to make the prophecy fail, the answer was to make sure it didn’t. After all, they were all here. Despite the Sorceress’s best efforts, and the Gate was found. If only they could force a way through the massed Orcs and then, as a single unit, battle their way into the Gate’s portal.

  ‘You know what would be handy right now.’ He said.

  ‘A Wizard.’ Dorian replied. ‘Apologies if that was meant to be rhetorical.

  On cue. Because if the Gods have one thing, it’s a taste for dramatic irony, in a flash of vivid blue light Corbett appeared below them.

  Having covered, in an instant, the distance from the edge of the group to the patch of skeletal trees which he had spotted as all eyes had been upon the formation of the Ice Gate, Corbett took a moment to orient himself. He couldn’t teleport again unless the horde got close. He had to be immediately under threat to do it in this plane if he was to follow the rules of his profession. He needed to get a wiggle on.

  He didn’t look back, not wanting to see the demise of his former companions no matter what a bunch of twats they had been. This was unfortunate, as had he done so he might have spotted Donalt drop silently down behind him.

  ‘Where ya going Corbett?’ Donalt asked.

  ‘Eeeerrryyarrrrgggh!’ Corbett screamed, almost leaping up and into the arms of Dorian who was suddenly in front of him.

  ‘Oh my God. You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack.’

  ‘What are you doing over here.’ Dorian asked. ‘Your party is over there.’

  Corbett took a few deep breaths, then went onto the offensive. A very good option when caught bang to rights.

  ‘I might ask you the same fucking thing. Where the hell have you pair been?

  ‘The
Great Stupendo,’ Donalt nodded towards Dorian, ‘managed to break his leg. By the time we managed to get back you lot had gone.’

  ‘And you switched routes.’ Dorian added.

  ‘Yeah well, that was her wasn’t it. Little Miss Night Chills.’ Corbett said. ‘We’ve been utterly suckered.’

  ‘So, again, why are you here?’ Dorian asked.

  Corbett painted a surprised and hurt expression across his face. ‘Huh… well, obviously I saw… movement over here. Probably hopalong there.’ He pointed at Dorians crutch. ‘And I thought that perhaps it might be help coming, y’know… allies.’

  ‘What bollocks.’ Donalt said. ‘You just…’

  ‘Guys! It’s happening.’ Dorian said.

  He pointed to the horde as it moved in a seething mass towards the centre.

  ‘Corbett. You have to get us there. You can do that, right?’

  ‘No! Teleportation is heavily legislated. I can’t perform the spell unless my life is under immediate threat.’

  Donalt whipped a dagger out from his jacket and had its blade under Corbett’s chin before the wizard could take a breath.

  ‘Do you feel sufficiently threatened Wizard?’ The Rogue asked.

  Corbett gulped and felt the tip of Donalt’s blade upon his Adams apple. He carefully nodded.

  ‘Right.’ Donalt said. ‘Get us to the far edge of the horde. Nearest the Gate. Then you need to light them up.’

  Donalt didn’t drop his blade. His eyes seemed to take on the aspect of coal and his expression spoke of a man with a very particular set of skills, one who would track you, find you and kill you if you were to cross him in some way.

  ‘Absolutely.’ Corbett said. ‘I can do that. Not a problem.’

  Daisy almost didn’t see the Orcs begin to charge, such was her surprise at the sudden disappearance of the Wizard. She looked about her, hoping beyond hope that Corbett had performed some amazing spell that would vaporise the Orcs, and so he needed to move further away, or perhaps up. She even looked up, desperate to see the misanthropic bastard levitating and preparing to toss balls of magical fire into the enemy.