Rocks Fall Everyone Dies

by Eddie Skelson

  Corbett thought this a somewhat back-handed compliment, but it definitely had merit if it meant saving his skin.

  ‘Alright, yeah. Nice one.’ He said. Not wanting to taint this moment with anything like ethics.

  He prepared to cast his spell. He would teleport to the back of the Demon. He could see Felicity held in some sort of trance over there. That would be his first landing point, from there would aim for the…

  He saw a figure moving unsteadily towards the Sorceress. It had to be Donalt. Short. All in black.

  ‘Wow. Fair play to him. He’s going to try and snatch the girl away. How about the big balls on Donalt.’

  He threw some blinding flash spells up to eyes of Moloch to keep the Demon bamboozled, just for a few seconds and he drew in what Essence he could to cast his spell.

  And then Daisy crawled by him. She couldn’t look up. She was so battered and beaten by Moloch’s supernatural assault that even raising her head was too much effort. And yet she crawled towards the Demon with her sword in her hand.

  He looked over to Valeran. The old priest was producing layer upon layer of magical resistance to try and hold back the Demon’s attacks, and at the same time casting healing spells upon Andreton when the Warrior took a blow from the monster’s kicks.

  ‘The daft old bastard is going to stay here to allow me time to teleport away. Even the fucking cow is trying to help.’

  He stared in amazement at Francis. The Steppe-beast kept running at Moloch’s legs. Attempting to send him tumbling to the ground.

  ‘Even the cow…’ Corbett thought. And he suddenly felt very, very ashamed of his entire life.

  ‘Ah fuck it.’ He said. ‘Come on Valeran. You’re the thinker. I’m more of a doer. You’ve got to have a better plan than that.’

  ‘No Corbett. I don’t.’ Valeran shook his head. ‘Go dear boy. Save yourself.’

  ‘Nah.’ Corbett said, shaking his head. You know what? I came here to go on a quest, and the quest is just past that massive bastard and through that Gate and I’m going through that Gate even if I have to hitch a lift on the back of Andreton’s cow.’

  At this Valeran’s eyes grew wide. He couldn’t be sure if it was Boldoff at work, supplying his divinity through the words of the Wizard, but he suddenly realised that the answer to Felicity’s prophecy puzzle was with them all along.

  ‘Good God.’ Valeran said. ‘That’s it. The cow is the answer!’

  Before Corbett could ask the Cleric what the fuck he was talking about and why everyone seemed obsessed with the huge hairy cow he felt a cold sensation run down his spine.

  ‘Oh shit.’ He said.

  ‘All your power into him Wizard! He’s going to try and tear the dimension.’ Valeran shouted.

  Corbett was already way ahead. He had never witnessed this first hand, but it was something all Wizards knew of. Very powerful Demons could rend the fabric of time and space to access energy from other worlds.

  It was incredibly dangerous, even for the Demon, because things even more evil than they were could break through. The plus was that this meant that Moloch was running low on fuel. His link to Felicity would mean nothing if she had been drained of her power.

  They would both be dragged into the Abyss, forever joined by the magical chains that bound them. But if he succeeded and was able to draw on more energy before the rend repaired itself, he would be completely unstoppable.

  ‘The problem here,’ Corbett thought, ‘is that I don’t have enough magical energy in me to light a birthday candle.’

  He was done. This was it. For all his new-found bravado he saw how futile he really was in the face of such power.

  ‘Jeremy.’

  It was Kezra. He hadn’t realised that she was inside his consciousness.

  ‘Ah. Kez. Listen, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve got some bad news...’ Corbett started. He hoped he could break this to her gently.

  ‘You have to release me Jeremy.’ Kezra said, and Corbett could sense the sadness in her ethereal voice.

  ‘Release you? I can’t release you. It’s against the rules. Besides I’ve already got one Demon on the loose to deal with thank you.’

  He realised that Kezra had done the same time thing that Carl often did. She had spun up his mind so it could think at a speed that defied time. Their conversation was taking place in the gap between seconds.

  ‘You can’t defeat Moloch in a fight. None of you can. He is far too powerful. But if you can get through the Gate you won’t have too.’

  ‘I don’t think we can. We can’t get past him. I’m all out of energy and the Cleric is running on steam… Why do you sound… weird?’

  ‘That is why you must release me Jeremy. I will hold back Moloch for you while you go through.’

  ‘That’s insane Kez. You’ll die. You can’t be outside of my head with no energy to support you.’

  He didn’t like this, it felt uncomfortable. Kezra was mad, and happy and zany and really annoying at times, and yet… always incredibly sweet.

  ‘I have to save you Jeremy. Not just you, Carl also. If you die, Carl dies as well. If I stop Moloch I save you both. The two beings I love most in the world. Please don’t simply die and make us all fade away into the Abyss. I will tell you my True Name and you can release me. Then you have to get to the Gate. All of you.’

  ‘Well… I can’t. I mean...’ Corbett struggled with a Demon using the word love. ‘I think Dorian’s dead. Donalt’s probably dying, Felicty is mind-fucked and me and the Cleric are about to have a Demonic enema. Besides, Demons don’t tell you their True Name, no Demon has ever willingly told someone their…

  ‘My True Name is Astoreth of the Five Stars, I am Daes and Vishnar. I am Ishtar and Saturn. My name is Anath.’ Kezra’s voice sheered through his synapses as their truth caused him to physically shake. He mentally gulped.

  ‘All of those are your True Name?’ He said.

  ‘Release me Jeremy. Please. Save Carl. Save yourself and your friends. Don’t you think it’s about time you had some?’

  Corbett felt time suddenly catch up. Now his seconds were genuine measures of time. He felt very old, and very adult.

  ‘Astoreth of the Five Stars. Daes and Vishnar. Ishtar and Saturn. Anath. I release you.’ He said.

  He closed his eyes as he felt his mind open and Kezra step out.

  She formed outside of the shielding supplied by Valeran, with her back to Corbett and the Cleric. At first, she was only a shimmer in the arid air which had been heated between the two magic-users and Moloch. Then her form began to take shape. She was huge, almost the size once again of Moloch. Her body was that of a powerfully built individual, her skin as black as night, no trace of sex about her, if indeed a Demon truly had a gender. What surprised Corbett the most was that Kezra had long, thick hair haging in spirals down her back. Her face was smooth and had high cheekbones. Her eyes were red though. As red as rubies it by the fires of a volcano.

  And yet, for all her great size he knew that Kezra was handicapped by the lack of magical Essence about them. He had none to offer her and there was very little to pull in from around them.

  Moloch stared up at the Demon before him. Higher in rank than himself, more powerful in Hell. He had not seen this coming at all.

  Kezra turned and looked down at Corbett. She smiled.

  ‘Goodbye Jeremy.’ She said, although the voice still seemed to be inside his head. She brought up both her hands to Moloch’s throat and gripped it.

  ‘Oh. Ok. I’d say that’s my cue.’ Corbett said, he then turned and shouted to the mesmerised Cleric. ‘Oy. Grandad. Get a fucking wiggle on. Go and grab Dorian. Dead or not.’

  ‘Oh… Yes, uhm.’ Valeran then pointed up to Kezra as though he was worried that Corbett hadn’t noticed her.

  ‘Don’t worry about that. Get the Ranger.’ Corbett insisted.

  ‘Oh! The cow!’ Valeran said, ungently. ‘We have to go through on Francis. Do you see? All together! On the cow.’

>   Corbett shook his head in admiration. ‘Genius mate. I knew you’d crack it. Ok. I’ll need you to drag Andreton off before he starts hitting Kezra as well, and then he can do the driving. Get Daisy. Then come to me. I’m going to Dorian’

  ‘Right.’ Valeran said, although he wasn’t entirely sure they weren’t all already dead, and that this was some kind of purgatory they were all in.

  Beyond them the two Demons began to fight.

  Valeran rushed to Andreton. The Warrior looked tired.

  ‘Cleric.’ He said, brushing the Demon’s toxic spit off his chest. ‘You vill vake up Andreton so he fight better yes? Two Demons now. Getting busy here.’

  ‘Ah old bean. No. New plan. We need you to get a hold of the … to get Francis so she can give us all a lift into the Gate.’

  Anderton frowned.

  ‘We need lift.’ Valeran said. ‘Got to round everyone up and uhm… you know… leave.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Andreton said. ‘Francis might not like so many on her.’

  ‘For Daive’s sake man!’ Valeran snapped. ‘If she can carry a bloody ton of muscle around on her back as if he’s no heavier than a dicky bird, she can probably handle a malnourished Wizard, two women straight out of a teenager’s wet dream, a Ranger who could probably play a tune on his abs and me, a man whose robes are heavier than he is. Right?’

  Andreton’s eyes seemed to work independently as he tried to do the maths with pictures in his head. Clearly the solution worked out, as he nodded.

  ‘Ya. Ok.’ He said.

  Francis had backed away from the Demons as they struggled, each trying to unbalance the other. Andreton ran up to her and slid Dennis into her harness.

  ‘Ve go on Quest Francis!’ He said, leaping up to her neck. He tugged on her ear to turn her towards Valeran. ‘Then ve milk you.’

  As though telepathically linked Francis began to run as Andreton wished, towards the Cleric first. Valeran held up a hand and Andreton grabbed it and swung him on to the back of the cow as though he was no heavier than a chunky-knit scarf.

  ‘Get Daisy.’ Valeran said.

  Andreton turned Francis slightly so they could draw up alongside the fighter. Daisy had ceased her crawling but still could not raise her head. Andreton reached down and carefully eased her up to the back of the cow.

  Valeran placed his hand upon her cheek. It was cold and clammy. He allowed a little of his healing energy to flow into her, but he saved what more he had for a greater task.

  ‘Donalt is with Dorian. You must hurry to them. Dorian is very badly hurt.’ Valeran told the Warrior.

  ‘Francis, ve must move quickly!’ Andreton said and the cow rumbled on to where Corbett cradled the Ranger in his arms. Around them were the smoking bodies of six Orcs. Corbett had clearly found some reserves with which to protect the Ranger.

  ‘He is absolutely fucked.’ Corbett said. ‘But somehow he’s still alive. Is that your doing?’

  ‘No.’ Valeran said as he slid down from Francis and ran over to Dorian. He knelt at the Ranger’s side. ‘He must have some charm or talisman about him.’

  Corbett looked up. The Ranger’s bird circled above, cawing.

  ‘Yeah, he has a talisman.’ He thought. ‘Can you sort him Doc?’

  ‘I can help, I think. Assist whatever is keeping him stable. I’ll cast a Blessing upon him. It’s a good one but it won’t last long. I don’t have enough power for anything more long term.’

  Corbett moved back a little. ‘Knock yourself out.’

  Valeran called upon his Blessing of Xavier. He could detect that the Ranger’s body had been put into a kind of stasis, certainly magically induced. The Blessing of Xavier would begin to work upon his injuries while the stasis effect kept him alive but, whether it would be enough to save him he couldn’t be certain.

  ‘We have to get him onto Francis.’ Donalt said. ‘But I don’t think we can move him. Manhandling him might cause greater harm.’

  Suddenly Andreton was at his side. His huge hands, with fingers splayed, were almost the length of a dining table. The Warrior gently eased them under the injured Ranger then lifted with exquisite care and raised Dorian over the back of Francis, as though the man was as light as rice paper.

  He lowered Dorian down onto the Steppe-beast’s thick hair, next to a now unconscious Daisy.

  ‘Errgh.’ Corbett’s cry issued as Andreton then lifted him by the robes at the scruff of his neck and dropped him next to the injured party members.

  ‘You vill hold them Vizard. While Cleric make them better. Yes? Andreton said.

  ‘Uh. Yeah. Sure.’ Corbett replied.

  He wanted to be indignant but understood that this was definitely not the time or the place.

  Andreton then leapt back on to Francis as Valeran climbed up as quickly as he could. The Warrior turned his mount and pressed her to move forwards, past the grappling Demons.

  Francis moved with the same size defying speed that she had used when ploughing through the Town. The odd stunned Orc still wandered about the battlefield, some were crushed by the stamping feet of Moloch and Kezra, others were tossed aside by a sweep of Francis’s head, her horns gouging their sides away.

  Corbett looked ahead and saw where Andreton planned to steer the charging beast.

  ‘Er… Andreton, you aren’t thinking of going between their legs, are you?

  ‘Yah.’ Anderton replied. ‘Quickest route is allveys as ze crow is flying.’

  ‘Crows don’t fly between the legs of Demons trying to strangle each other mate. I’m willing to bet money on that.’

  ‘Vill be fine.’ Andreton said, he then urged Francis to go even faster.

  ‘Oh shit.’ Corbett said quietly.

  He had now lost count of how many different ways had been presented to him do die today. It was as though he had been presented with a buffet of horrible demises and he simply had to pick one. He definitely wasn’t going to choose ‘flattened by a brawling Demon.’

  As he ran through the solutions of how to get out of this new predicament, he sighted Felicity through the legs of the Demons. She was clearly out of it, slumped yet upright. Some spell held her in place.

  ‘Demonic link.’ He thought. ‘Cleric stuff.’

  Then he saw Donalt. The Rogue lay almost at her feet. A dagger stuck out from his back and he was lying in a sizable pool of blood.

  ‘Ah fuck. He’s gone too.’ Corbett thought sadly.

  The Rogue had been all right really. Sure, he had threatened his life, but most people he met did that at some point. ‘Dagger in his back as well. That’s some serious irony right there.’

  Then he saw the Donalt move a little.

  ‘Wow. Still going. What a trooper.’ Corbett prodded Valeran who had been attending to Daisy, attempting to bring her back to consciousness.

  ‘Oy. Valeran. Over there. The Rogue. He’s alive. Moving. Can you fix him like you did Dorian?’

  Valeran looked ahead as the Demons drew nearer. ‘No. Not from here. I don’t have the energy or any blessings.’

  ‘Well pray to someone then’ Corbett exclaimed. ‘Call in a favour.’

  ‘What do you think I’ve been doing for this entire journey?’ Valeran snapped. ‘No one is listening, or if they are no one is answering.’

  ‘Ah crap.’ Corbett said. Resigned.

  He knew that this was one of those moments. The time when some poor jerk had to lay his own life on the line to save others. The key was the girl. He didn’t know how demonic links worked. He had only ever had Carl and Kezra inside his head, until now. And Kezra wasn’t linked to him, she was free. And, because of that, dying. Moloch still had Felicity to feed his energy and from the looks of it he was gaining the upper hand over Kez. They were punching each other, goliaths duking it out over his head.

  He looked at Donalt. He was very close to Felicity but also moving very, very slowly. He looked at the girl, she wasn’t moving at all. He gauged the speed of Francis to be somewhere in the region of ‘bloody fas
t’ and then worked out the maths from there.

  ‘Valeran.’ He said holding a finger up to make sure that the Cleric understood that he was about to make a very important and sincere point.

  ‘Yes?’ Valeran said, raising his eyebrows at the burning sincerity in the Wizards eyes.

  ‘I just want you to know that this whole farce has been no fucking fun whatsoever.’ Corbett then turned to face the Demons and vanished.

  ‘Shocker.’ Valeran said, entirely unsurprised that the Wizard had once more left the party.

  Then he saw where Corbett had teleported to.

  Corbett appeared at the side of Donalt and tugged the dagger out of his back.

  The Rogue issued a weak ‘Ugh’ then continued trying to crawl towards Felicity.

  ‘Never mind all the hero stuff.’ Corbett said and lifted the Rogues arm around his own shoulders and heaved him up from the floor.

  ‘Bloody hell. You’re a bit of a weight for a small bloke.’

  He then began to walk towards Felicity, dragging Donalt along with him.

  ‘No that’s fine.’ Corbett grumbled. ‘You just do fuck all, I’ll manage.’

  He reached Felicity and wrapped his free arm around her waist. It was as close to a woman as he had been in as long as he could remember and it stirred memories deep inside him, firing up long forgotten reserves of magical energy stored up in seldom used areas.

  He took a breath. He had teleported more today than he had been able to do in years. But he had never ever teleported to the same horizontal, but not vertical space before.

  ‘It’s all about relative speed and spatial location.’ He thought. ‘I just have to move fast. Then up. Then down. What could be easier? And if I fail well, I guess the Gods have had enough of our bullshit and its Rocks Fall. Everyone Dies, because no one is getting through that Gate alive.

  He watched with awe as Andreton guided Francis at full tilt through the legs of the Demons. And Francis, by sheer chance or selection no one would ever know, managed to jab one of her horns into the calf of Moloch, tearing a great chunk of his Demonic flesh away from it.

  The Prince of Hell screamed in agony, dropping to one knee as the cow and its passengers emerged from under him.