Queen of the Wolves

by Tanith Lee

  She hadn’t been asleep. She was sitting in a tall chair, and when I jumped down into the room, she got to her feet. She looked – terrified.

  Then she controlled that and was all smiles, all Twilight-Star-smiles.

  ‘Good morning, Claidi – I’m so glad to see you.’

  My landing had knocked snow off the sill on to her carpet. She glanced at that and gave a little wry frown, sort of, Oh, dear, such a welcome guest, mustn’t mention her clumsiness.

  ‘I’ve come to tell you something,’ I said.

  ‘My dear, of course. Please do sit.’

  ‘It won’t take long. By the way, don’t bother calling your guards – I imagine your turquoise can do that, it’s quite strong, isn’t it?’

  Her face, empty now. ‘Yes,’ she said.

  ‘But you know, I think I’m stronger.’

  I looked in her eyes. Even now, it wasn’t that easy.

  ‘Ustareth’s diamond,’ she said. ‘Yes, her ring is very powerful. How lucky that he knew, and that now it works for you. What are you going to do, kill me?’

  That shocked me. That she’d think it, say it. But they would think like that, Tower people.

  ‘No, thanks. This is just a warning.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘Do you? I hope you do.’ I could hear myself. I’ve heard myself sound like that before, now and then. I hope it’s not me, merely an act I can put on. I said, impatient with myself, ‘If it was so dodgy, me being near the raven in Hall Four, you shouldn’t have got us to marry there.’

  She looked affronted. She said, ‘Marriages always take place in Hall Four. It would be unthinkable anywhere else. A tradition of the Tower.’

  ‘A tradition?’ I said. ‘You mean a rule?’ She didn’t like my saying that. ‘Look, Twilight Star,’ I went on, ‘I don’t belong to you, nor does Argul. We won’t ever do what you want or be what you’d like – or follow any of your rules. But if you leave us alone from now on, we’ll give no grief to you.’

  ‘What a Hulta phrase!’ she cried, so amused.

  ‘They say something like it in Peshamba, too. And Ustareth was responsible for Peshamba, wasn’t she? So it’s also an Ustareth phrase.’

  ‘Very well. You’ve put me in my place.’

  ‘Stay there then. Stay in your place.’

  ‘As you did, Claidi?’

  She’d caught me off guard after all. I blinked at her, and in that moment—

  I saw a white spinning shoot away from her. It came off the turquoise hanging at her throat. Right for me. And the air blazed up as if it caught on fire.

  And then all the fragments of burnt air fell down like black petals. I watched them. I hadn’t felt a thing but silly surprise. The ring – had protected me, saved my life I truly believe. If I hadn’t had the ring, I too might have fallen everywhere, in fine black petals.

  ‘You should be careful with that,’ I said, ‘it could go off and hurt someone.’

  But I was shaking.

  I could see that she was, too. Her honey-dark skin was sickly. Her eyes drooped.

  ‘I was unwise,’ she said. ‘But at least, now I see what I’d be up against. Excuse me, Claidi. I won’t try again.’

  ‘No, don’t ever try again. That’s all I came to say. Keep away from me and mine.’

  Then she did the final most disgusting thing of all, worse than merely trying to scorch me to cinders. She dropped on her knees in front of me, the way some people do before their God or gods.

  ‘Oh – you are She,’ she said. ‘You – it’s you – only second generation – You are the Wolf Queen, the daughter of power who is power. You. And we didn’t even make you. You’re a common slave—’

  ‘Yup,’ I said, ‘that’s me. A common slave. So long.’ I rose up lazily, and rested in the air. Her wet carpet now had a large burn in it. Serve her right, the cow.

  The window, which had shut, opened again to let me out.

  I sailed round the side of it. The air was icy and I needed that to steady me, so the ring let me stay cold.

  But as I floated past the raven’s white head, I reached the beak. Up there was Winter Raven.

  She looked over at me.

  ‘Hey, Claidi. Been giving mother some more trouble?’

  ‘A social call,’ I said.

  I could see she had been playing on the beak, to which she had flown, stamping patterns of footprints in the softer snow.

  ‘Don’t rush off,’ she said, ‘without saying good-bye.’

  She wore her feather cloak. She looked forlorn, like a beautiful old child that can’t remember properly how to be childish.

  I found myself sitting on the raven’s beak. She sat beside me. We dangled our legs over the vast gulf beneath, knowing that neither of us need ever fear to fall.

  Does she realize her mother is a monster, who a short while ago, tried to kill me? Probably. Does she then think I’ve killed Twilight? To Winter, all that would be normal? Normal, after all, is only what you’re used to.

  ‘She’s all right,’ I said.

  ‘Mother? Oh, yes.’ Silence. ‘You’re soft,’ she said. Then, ‘I’ll look after your graff. He’s nice. They always are. I might mate him to my graff.’ I must have pulled a face. She said, ‘He won’t mind, Claidi.’

  ‘No, I suppose not.’

  ‘And – Argul’s horse – I’ll take care of that, too.’

  From the corner of my eye – she’s blushing? Winter?

  ‘Winter, look – Ustareth used this ring to cross the sea. Would your necklace be strong enough to let you do that?’

  She stared at me.

  I said, ‘You know how to find Venn. You sent him a letter there. So, couldn’t you just go and meet him? He is gorgeous,’ I added temptingly, and generously. ‘Why don’t you talk to Heepo – Hedee Poran, at the Guest House. He knew Venn when Venn was a child. He could fill you in a bit on the situation. I don’t see that she – your mother – will stop you. She wants you to team up with Venn. Only, I think you have to do it your way, not hers.’

  Winter said nothing, only looked away suddenly. We both did.

  We stared down and down into the gulf that had no fear for either of us. No, it was just life – our futures – that were scary.

  ‘Claidi,’ she said, ‘I said I was sorry about the way I went on. And that letter, full of lies. Well, there’s something else.’

  My heart sank and my stomach rose. They collided with a bang somewhere around my waist. ‘Really?’ I idly asked.

  ‘She – mother – wanted me to Tag your diary-book. So if you went off any time, they could keep track of you.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘The Wolf Tower did it, didn’t they, put a Tag in your diary. That yukko Nemian, or someone.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Look, let’s get this straight. I’m not afraid of my mother. She wouldn’t hurt me. But – I’ve got used to obeying her, and it takes a lot to say No.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘I don’t think, now your ring works for you, Tagging the diary would matter anyhow – the ring would just conceal you – perhaps let you know to look for the Tag. But Claidi. I would like you to know. I didn’t do it anyway.’

  ‘No?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Was that only because you couldn’t get near my book?’

  She smirked. ‘I knew you’d say that. No, Claidi, I got near it.’

  I thought how I’d kept both books close, even before I’d really become super-careful. Slept on the bag they were in, finally tied them to me.

  ‘How?’

  ‘Not saying. I have to keep a few secrets. You know about everything else about me. But get the ring to check the diaries. You’ll find I didn’t Tag either book. But I left you proof I’d got at them. I wanted you to know I behaved with – honour.’

  I stood up. ‘What’s the proof then?’

  She told me.

  I said, ‘If that’s true, then that means you read my diary.’

&nbs
p; She too rose. She confronted me. ‘No it does not. My amber necklace can do stuff too. It scanned your diary, looking for a suitable name, and then – well, what I said. I haven’t read a word. I swear, by the Raven in Hall Four.’

  ‘That isn’t a god.’

  ‘By Venn then,’ she said flamboyantly. ‘By gorgeous Prince Venarion Yllar Kaslem-Idoros, whom I’m going to meet across the sea.’

  Will you? I thought. Will you go? Just – do it.

  We shook hands, slipped, fell off the beak and floundered apart, sky-walking and laughing.

  As I turned to go, she was performing somersaults in the air, in the first blue of that clear morning. And I’d ripped my skirt again.

  The ring guided me back to the cave. I didn’t have to think about that, so I thought about what Winter had said.

  Argul was waiting, sitting in around the cave-wall, with a new fire that wasn’t visible from outside. I told him what had happened. His face – anger, then laughter. I’ll never get used to him. Never want to. Even when we have been years together, I know I will often look at him and start with startled delight.

  He said some Raven Guards had gone by, still searching for us, but not very thoroughly. Hadn’t even bothered to come near the cave.

  I took the diaries out then, from the sewn-in piece under the marriage dress. I opened the first book with care, as if it was too hot. Sat staring.

  ‘It’s true, what she said?’ he asked. ‘She got hold of them?’

  ‘It’s true.’

  My horse with the Hulta, this was what Winter had found, or the necklace had. My horse called Sirree. Later, after I was kidnapped, I mentioned Sirree now and then. Some one – Winter – has changed the spelling of Sirree’s name to Siree – one R. Very skilfully, so it really looks as if that is the way I have spelled it. Only I wouldn’t have.

  Did she really do all that and not read it – even the parts about Venn? About Venn and me?

  I’ll never know.

  I’m rather jealous anyway. How unreasonable. Can’t help it. But I’ve thought, Venn only really got interested in me for the most obvious reason. I was the first and only woman he’d seen apart from his mother, and Treacle – who was such a wild thing anyway. So, he sort of fell for me. And I felt keen on him – because he was so like Argul.

  But when Venn sees her– Winter – if she goes there – well. She’s stunning. He won’t stand a chance. Oh, Venn.

  I hope Winter isn’t going to turn out like Twilight. Maybe if Winter can only get a life of her own – she won’t.

  Argul said, ‘Your hands are like ice.’

  And right then, as he was warming my hands, this little white thing blew in over the ledge of the cave.

  ‘What’s that?’

  We bent towards it. A small snow-object – no, it was a weeny little snake. It gazed up with gentle eyes. And shook its silvery hair.

  ‘Yinyay!!! How—’

  ‘I was called,’ said Yinyay, her voice rather larger than her size, ‘by the ring.’

  ‘But Venn got you to wipe out all knowledge of Ustareth—’

  ‘The ring,’ she said, ‘is still the ring.’

  ‘But you’re so – little – all this way – from the forest where the Star came down—’

  ‘That presented no difficulty,’ she said, ‘once I had learned enough.’ And then she grew bigger, in a lovely rippling surge, and stood there on her tail, gazing at us kindly, exactly as I remembered.

  ‘So – the Star-ship’s repaired?’

  ‘The ship no longer works,’ said Yinyay. ‘But that is unimportant. Since the ring has now connected to me, I am not as I was.’

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘Now,’ said Yinyay, ‘I am the ship.’

  And she showed us.

  Argul and I stood there. For the first time ever, I saw his mouth drop open, as mine is always doing.

  For Yinyay, gliding from the cave, balanced there in the blue void between the mountains, began again to grow. And – G – R – O – W –

  Up and up went Yinyay. As this happened, her snake-like body straightened out. The white crags reflected on her own polished whiteness. She was tall, and wide. The height of several mansions piled one on another (as they say). Broad as any palace. Straight as a pale sword, but with her excellent metallic face and flowing tinsel hair still there, at the very top.

  ‘That,’ said Argul, ‘is a Tower.’

  It was true. She was. A Tower – in the air.

  Her mild voice came to us, only humanly loud, but carrying, and melodious as a song.

  ‘I am quite ready now, to receive you, and take you where you wish. Or I can become small again. As small as you find useful. Small enough to fit in a pocket.’

  For now, we’ve kept Yinyay as a Tower. She’s magnificent. She has magnets, naturally, to deal with gravity. She has seven storeys, lifts, windows that clear or close over, machines that make food and drink. Bathrooms. Furniture. A library –! Plants … All sorts of things. Everything. As she flew us away, whirling in a protective globe of force, visible – but entirely beyond any attack – we explored our new domain.

  Below, the ice-lollies of the Northern mountains melted away.

  I suppose we really are safe now. As safe as you can be, if you’re alive in this world.

  We’ve talked about what we may do. Of course there are the Hulta to consider, though Argul has said to me, ‘I can’t really go back, Claidi. It’s Hulta law. Once a leader lets go the leadership, that’s it.’ ‘Law!’ I shouted. But he only shook his head. I don’t know how this will work out, then.

  He did it for me, left them. And Blurn would be a great leader, no matter what Blurn said, otherwise, as Argul told me, the choice would have been impossible.

  But he gave up his title, his people, his power – for me.

  As Yinyay flies now, this circling Tower, the night has come. We’re on the third floor. Soft lamplight, and armchairs. Argul is sitting reading a book from Yinyay’s library. It’s in a language I certainly don’t know, all marks like arrows, and squares—

  Argul seems at home. None of this, after the first seconds, has thrown him. But he’s seen more of the world than me. And well, he’s Argul.

  I’ve been writing this up.

  What do you think?

  Is it going to be all right?

  There is a chance the Hulta might, somehow, join us, or we join them, or…

  But this – is a Tower.

  I looked up then, and said that to him, to Argul.

  He said, ‘Ustareth,’ (he never now calls her Zeera) ‘made this set-up. Your Yinyay blossoming into this, when the ring started to work again. Ustareth still thought in Towers.’

  ‘Then this is a Tower.’

  ‘The other Towers have animal emblems,’ he said, ‘Wolves, Ravens – but the top of this Tower has a human face.’

  A human face. A Human Tower?

  We’ll marry in Peshamba. Under the CLOCK. They do weddings there. Neither of us will have a single friend to celebrate with us, not a single family member. His mother and father are dead. Mine are – unknown for ever.

  Perhaps though, there is now some way I could rescue some of the girls I knew from the House – Daisy and Pattoo – Dengwi – and Blurn might just come to the wedding. And Dagger. I might even get to see Sirree, with two R’s, again.

  I’ll stop writing now. There are so many blank pages left at the end of this book. It worries me a little. Will I still write to you, my friend I’ll never meet, in the future? Or will I ever know you, or your name – your names.

  Maybe not. But you know me, better than most.

  What do you say – was Twilight right? Am I this dire thing ‘Queen of the Wolves’? No, you know I’m not. It’s what Argul said: Claidi – a Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing.

  That’s me.

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  Also by Tanith Lee

  Birthgrave

  The Birthgrave (1975)

  Vazkor, Son of Vazkor (1977) (aka Shadowfire)

  Quest for the White Witch (1978)

  Novels Of Vis

  The Storm Lord (1976)

  Anackire (1983)

  The White Serpent (1988)

  Four-BEE

  Don’t Bite the Sun (1976)

  Drinking Sapphire Wine (1977)

  Silver Metal Lover

  The Silver Metal Lover (1981)

  Metallic Love (2005)

  Tanaquil

  Black Unicorn (1989)

  Gold Unicorn (1994)

  Red Unicorn (1997)

  Blood Opera

  Dark Dance (1992)

  Personal Darkness (1993)

  Darkness, I (1994)

  Lionwolf

  Cast a Bright Shadow (2004)

  Here in Cold Hell (2005)

  No Flame But Mine (2007)

  Other Novels

  Volkhavaar (1977)

  Electric Forest (1979)

  Day by Night (1980)

  Lycanthia (1981) (aka The Children of Wolves)

  Sung in Shadow (1983)

  Days of Grass (1985)

  A Heroine of the World (1989)

  The Blood of Roses (1990)

  Heart-Beast (1992)

  Elephantasm (1993)

  Eva Fairdeath (1994)

  Vivia (1995)

  When the Lights Go Out (1995)

  Reigning Cats and Dogs (1995)

  White as Snow (2000)

  L’Amber (2006)

  Greyglass (2011)

  Collections

  Cyrion (1982)

  Tamastara (1984) (aka The Indian Nights)

  The Gorgon: And Other Beastly Tales (1985)

  Women as Demons (1985)

  Dreams of Dark and Light (1986)

  Forests of the Night (1989)

  Nightshades: Thirteen Journeys into Shadow (1993)