Loving the Heartland

by Marjorie Jones

  Hopeless.

  “Okay, Michelle. I scanned the pictures and put them into the webpage where you said. I think we’re all done.”

  Lenise hovered over her shoulder.

  “Good job. Let’s take a look and then send her off to the cyber-gods.”

  “That was a really pretty song you were playing.”

  Michelle smiled, slightly embarrassed. She hadn’t played since that first night at the Heartland. Had it been a month already? “Thanks. I’m a bit rusty.” She went back to the dining room table and Lenise followed.

  “No, really. It was very good.”

  “So, do you want to do the honors?”

  “Really?” The young girl’s eyes lit up.

  “Sure. Sit down here. You’re going to upload through the protocol software, right there,” she explained, pointing to the button on the screen. “Just click right here.”

  “Shouldn’t we call Kendra, or something?”

  “I’m right here,” Kendra replied, her voice soft. She moved behind Michelle and hooked her arms around her waist, pulling Michelle flush against her. She leaned over her shoulder to peer at the screen. Her leathery scent enveloped Michelle and the heat of Kendra’s body surrounded her. So close, Michelle could feel the beat of Kendra’s heart; every pore of her body was aware of her. “What are we doing?” she asked.

  Michelle cleared her throat. There were so many answers to that question that she didn’t know where to start. So many replies came crashing into her mind, and none of them were good enough. But Kendra was only talking about the website. Not their entire lives...

  “We’re uploading the final site,” Michelle answered, her voice cracking slightly. She swallowed hard against the lump that formed in her throat. “We’re done.”

  A ripple of muscle moved across her back. “Good.”

  Kendra’s voice sounded clipped. Almost...

  Sad?

  Would she be sad to see her leave?

  As much as she wanted to feel that way, she could only deny the suspicion. She probably couldn’t wait for her to get out of her way, as she’d been so inclined to tell her when she’d first arrived.

  So much had happened in the time since. Michelle didn’t want to leave her, but staying meant sharing parts of herself she wasn’t ready to share. Not to mention that Kendra seemed less than willing to share anything with her.

  No. Better to leave now and avoid any embarrassing displays of emotion later. If she left now, or soon, she’d only leave half of her heart with Kendra. She’d take the other half home. Half of her heart was better than none.

  “What does that mean?” Lenise’s voice slipped into her mind with the subtlety of a wedge.

  “What?”

  “That graphic, there.” She pointed to the screen.

  Michelle shrugged. “That means you did it right. We’re done.”

  

  Kendra’s heart sank. “Well, not really done, right? Don’t you still have to send all those emails? And what about the video?”

  “Right. Well, we’re done with the website, anyway.”

  “So, how much longer will you be here?” Lenise asked. “Will you be here for the rodeo?”

  “I’ll be here for another day or two. Vincent is wrapping the shoot soon and I’ll be heading back with them.”

  “I don’t think so.” The muscles in Kendra’s arms twitched and she hoped Michelle didn’t notice as she lowered them to her sides.

  Michelle spun to face her and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re not going anywhere. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Kendra... I have a business to run in Las Vegas. I never said I’d stay indefinitely.” No matter how much I want to.

  Hands on her hips, she directed her gaze at Lenise, who obviously knew her well enough to know when she wasn’t happy. The young girl levitated out of the chair, skirted the table and fled into the kitchen. Michelle followed her movements before returning her attention to Kendra.

  “Michelle, don’t look at me like that. You know I’m right.”

  “No. I don’t know you’re right.”

  “If it’s not safe for Lacey to be in Las Vegas right now, it’s not safe for you either. Especially when this site makes the rounds.”

  “What could possibly happen?”

  She didn’t even want to think about it. “Probably nothing. But I’m not willing to take that risk.”

  Kendra reached for her hat on the coat rack but felt Michelle’s eyes on her back like so many needles. She paused for a moment, and then grabbed her Stetson and placed it on her head. “What?” she asked, firmly.

  When she turned around, Michelle was leaning against the table; her firm ass propped on the edge and her rounded hips calling out an invitation she couldn’t possibly ignore. Her crossed arms pushed her breasts upward, accentuating the cleavage visible in the v-neck of her lightweight sweater. Kendra’s body responded with sudden, undeniable intensity.

  “I don’t see how any of this is your decision,” she declared.

  “Because, you’re my responsibility.”

  She scoffed at her. “Since when?”

  Ah, hell!

  Did she have to be so damn ornery all the time? She could argue a saint into a bottle of bourbon without batting an eyelash. And Kendra was no saint. “Doesn’t matter. You’re staying here until this whole thing is over and done with. End of story.”

  “But that could take months!”

  Years. If Kendra was lucky. A lifetime, maybe? “Then, I guess you’re stuck here.”

  “But that’s crazy, Kendra. I have a life. I have responsibilities. I need some things from my apartment. My equipment? Hell. I’ve got clients in Vegas who are expecting me to come home. Soon!”

  “They can wait a bit longer. I’m not going to let you go running back someplace where I can’t protect you.”

  “They cannot wait. And you don’t ‘let’ me do anything, Kendra Williams. The last time I checked, you don’t have any say in what I can or cannot do.”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “I agree.”

  “Then you’ll stay?”

  “No.” Michelle paused and took a breath. “Not until you admit that you want me to. Danger or no danger, you don’t want me to leave.”

  Kendra couldn’t take her eyes off of Michelle’s lips. When she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, which she noticed happened when her confidence faltered ever so slightly, Kendra stifled a groan. “Obviously, I want you to. It was my idea. You are safer—”

  “No, Kendra. Admit that you don’t want me to leave.”

  “We’ve established that.” Why couldn’t she breathe? Her mouth was so dry...

  “It has nothing to do with any threats, or anything else. You just don’t want me to go.”

  She took a step away from the table, closing the distance between them. Her eyes glowed with liquid fire. Her arms dropped to her side. No more defenses. No more pretenses. By the time Michelle reached her, Kendra thought she would burst. Such innocence wrapped in a package made to tempt and tease. It wasn’t fair. Michelle had her outnumbered in so many ways. She was smarter. Stonger. More trusting. More honest. What was she supposed to do? How could she possibly fight her?

  A part of her didn’t want to fight it anymore. What was so wrong with letting her inside, letting her take care of her and love her?

  Michelle stepped into Kendra’s offered embrace and leaned her cheek against her shoulder. Kendra hadn’t even realized she’d opened her arms. It was as though she were completely out of control of everything around her... especially those elements she’d never been able to control. Light. Air. Wind. Aching...

  “I can’t.”

  Michelle’s heartbeat seared a path between them, straight to Kendra’s own beating heart. She consumed her with her pulse and the rhythm of her breath.

  Her whisper filled the room from corner to corner, floor to ceiling. “Then I have to l
eave.”

  She might as well have cold-cocked Kendra with a rifle butt. The pain was the same. She tightened her hold on Michelle. “I don’t know what you want.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  She was right. But Kendra couldn’t say it. Not out loud. Michelle represented a part of her life that was better than anything Kendra had ever experienced. Kendra had drawn her into the white noise of her existence enough, already. She should let her go. But she couldn’t.

  She should keep her here, forever. But she wouldn’t.

  Michelle deserved better than her, even if she didn’t know it yet. She’d said she would stay if Kendra admitted to her why she should. So, what if she did? How long would it be before Michelle grew restless for everything she’d left behind? She already wanted to leave, didn’t she? Back to her lights. Back to her world. If Kendra really forced her to stay, what then?

  All she had to do was say the words that Michelle wanted to hear, and she’d stay with her, at least for the time being.

  Emotional blackmail. She deserved it, of course. A Chuckle escaped her throat.

  Never argue with a woman...

  “Michelle.” Kendra eased her shoulders back so she could look into Michelle’s eyes.

  That was a mistake.

  One look into the blue depths and she foundered against the jagged rocks of her own soul. She closed her eyes by way of self-defense and steeled herself against the pain.

  “What, Kendra? What can’t you do?”

  She gulped a breath which did little to feed her lungs. “I can’t make you any promises. I can’t...”

  “I don’t want promises. But if you want me to risk everything by staying here, you need to put something on the line, too, damn it.”

  “You’re not risking anything by staying here. If you go back, you’re risking your life.”

  Michelle shook her head. “I doubt that.”

  “Well, I don’t. Harold Mason is perfectly capable of murder. He’s already killed once.”

  “No, he startled the cattle.”

  “A man died. Same difference. You agreed with me when it was time to bring Lacey home. Nothing has changed.”

  Michelle huffed and growled. “Quit changing the subject!” She took a deep breath that raised her breasts and sent shockwaves into Kendra’s hollow insides. “Listen. Here it is, Kendra. I want to stay. I shouldn’t, but I do. And I need to know that what I’m doing isn’t a waste of time and energy. I need to know if I mean anything to you. Do I? Is this just some game? Or is it real? Does it have a chance of being real? I’m perfectly capable of walking out right now. If it’s not real, if we’re just... if... we are only...”

  Michelle’s voice quivered on the edge of something raw. Kendra could hear it in the strained chords of her voice; in the way the pitch rose and fell as though she was on the crest of an enormous wave.

  The world’s biggest jerk. That’s what Kendra felt like when Michelle looked at her like that. As if she’d just pulled her heart from her chest and stomped on it. “Just what? Using each other?” Her voice cracked, disappearing before she could make all of the sounds that made words.

  Michelle nodded.

  Kendra shook her head and somehow managed to find her voice. “Please, don’t go.”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  Only a couple of feet separated them. If she stretched her arm, she could touch her; feel that soft, translucent skin beneath her rough fingertips. But it felt like miles. “That’s all I can give you right now.”

  

  Harold Mason studied the lowlife standing on the opposite side of his desk. Charlie Lassiter seemed to always be the spokesman for the shabby group, and not that it said much at all, the most intelligent. Behind him, one man shifted nervously and another stood as still as a statue. The smallest of the three looked like he was going to crawl out of his skin at any moment. His face was marked with sores at various stages of healing, or not healing. His eyes darted around the room as though he expected something horrible to seep out of the woodwork. When he opened his mouth, which wasn’t often, what remained of his teeth turned Harold’s stomach.

  The largest of the men stood easily six inches taller than Harold. He was beefy and obviously spent many hours at the gym lifting weights, although that was probably the only healthy aspect to the man’s lifestyle. From earlier conversations, Harold had learned that Marcus Miller had taken up the hobby while serving a sentence at the state prison in Draper, Utah. He’d been released just that morning, according to Charlie, and was looking for work. He seemed like he’d be good to have in a crisis, so long as he wasn’t required to think on his feet.

  Charlie asked, “You sure about this?”

  “What do you care? I’m paying you. That’s all you need to know.”

  “Whatever,” he replied, removing the red cap from his forehead, and then scratching his hairline before replacing it. “Fifteen bills each.”

  Harold reached into the breast pocket of his sport coat and withdrew three envelopes. He rested them on the edge of the desk. “Cash.”

  Charlie took all three envelopes and then handed one to each of his companions. They didn’t bother to count the contents before they tucked them away into the pockets of their jeans.

  He had no doubt the money would be gone in a matter of days. Charlie would likely drink his away. The little guy’s share would go into a vein or a pipe. Miller would spend his on women, liquor and making a larger-than-life impression on whomever was lucky enough to share his time when he did. So long as they earned it, Harold couldn’t care less. “I want it done tonight. And follow through this time. Why I’m giving you another chance, I have no idea.”

  “Don’t you worry, Mr. Mason. No more foul-ups. We’ll take care of it,” Charlie replied as he ushered the smallest man out the door.

  Harold stood and crossed to the bar against the far wall. He placed three pieces of ice into a crystal tumbler and then splashed two fingers of bourbon over them. The ice cubes cracked under the warmth of the booze. The report reminded him of how close he was to getting everything he wanted; everything he needed. He lifted the glass to eye level and examined the cracked cubes. Kendra would crack too, under pressure. It was only a matter of time. He tossed half the contents of the glass down his throat and relished the burn of the expensive liquor.

  Harold glanced at the picture of his father and frowned.

  Soon, he’d cost Kendra Williams and her pathetic little family as much as they’d cost him.

  In spades.

  

  Kendra listened to the steady rhythm of Michelle’s quiet snore and shifted to her right side to watch her sleep. The early streaks of dawn filtered beneath the shades, casting the curves of her cheeks and eyelids in soft shadow. Her full lips parted a fraction, tempting Kendra to kiss her lover awake.

  What was it about Michelle that made her just plain feel better? No matter what happened. Last night, as she’d held Michelle in her arms, she’d felt... powerful. Like she could take on a thousand Harold Mason’s and never bat an eye.

  Mostly, because Michelle had agreed to stay. Kendra knew she’d won that round. But what about the next time Michelle asked something of her that she couldn’t give?

  As much as she wanted to commit to her, she knew better. The minute she opened herself up to Michelle, Michelle would hold all the cards. Better she just play it close to the vest for now.

  Someone knocked on the bedroom door, waking Michelle with a sudden start.

  “Kendra? You up yet?” Brent asked, his voice muffled.

  Michelle’s sleepy eyes focused on Kendra and she smiled like a vixen with one thing on her mind.

  Oh yeah, she was up alright.

  “Go away,” Kendra called to Brent. She leaned closer to Michelle, captured her lips and slid her body next to hers beneath the cool sheets. Michelle wrapped one leg over her hip and pulled her closer. Nothing separated them but the morning.

  “I think
you’re going to want to see this.”

  Her blood froze in her veins at the tone in her brother’s voice. Michelle’s brow narrowed and she pulled away from Kendra’s kiss. She whispered, “It sounds serious. Maybe you should go check it out?”

  “Don’t want to,” Kendra mumbled.

  Michelle’s quiet laugh washed over her.

  Kendra liked the little cocoon she wrapped her in. But, she was probably right. It did sound serious. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

  With a heave and a groan of protest, she left the bed and wrapped a bath towel around her breast. Then she opened the door. “What?”

  “Somebody broke into the barn last night.”

  Kendra squeezed the doorknob until she thought her fingers would break. “Show me.”

  “I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes.”

  Brent left and Kendra turned back to the bed. Michelle stretched her arms above her head and the sheet fell below one rounded breast. Hair mussed about her face, lips still swollen from the night before, she looked like the well-loved woman she was. “Come back to bed,” she purred.

  Whatever anger Brent’s news had awakened died at that sound. She could spend the rest of her life lost in those blue eyes, wrapped in those loving, tender arms.

  As always, her responsibilities took her away from something wonderful. She cursed under her breath and pulled on a pair of faded blue jeans and a black, sleeveless undershirt. “No can do. Something happened last night and I have to check it out.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not sure. Could be nothing. Stay here. Get some rest. Save my place.”

  “I want to come with you.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t get much sleep last night, lover. It’s barely dawn. Go back to sleep.”

  Michelle snorted in that way she had that told Kendra something, anything, was her fault. Kendra smiled. Maybe it was her fault she didn’t sleep much, but if she weren’t such a wanton, Kendra wouldn’t have been forced to satisfy her most of the night.

  Over and over, again and again...

  Michelle rolled to her side and stared up at her from the soft folds of the rumpled bedclothes. “If you insist,” she whispered on a sigh.