Loving the Heartland

by Marjorie Jones

  Michelle moved away from the counter to stand by the window, taking Kendra’s hand in hers as she passed. She stared out of the glass silently for a moment before slipping her arms around Kendra’s waist and pulling her close. It felt good. Normal. Deserved.

  Michelle whispered, her face turned up to look into Kendra’s eyes deeply. “You don’t always have to take care of everyone else, you know. Sometimes, you need to take care of yourself.”

  What was that supposed to mean? She shook her head. “I won’t use the money to bribe officials, Michelle. Not even to save this ranch.”

  

  “How’s he doing?” Michelle stepped onto the bottom rung of the old, clap-board fence that surrounded the shoots at the rodeo grounds. A few feet away, Brad paced in the loose dirt. One gloved hand clenched and unclenched over and over again as he seemingly tried to memorize every speck of dust on the ground.

  “He’ll be fine. He’s just a little nervous. If he makes this ride, he qualifies for his PRCA card.” Brent climbed onto the fence beside her. “How’re you?”

  “I’m fine.”

  He nudged her shoulder with his. “Liar.”

  She forced a smile and glanced into the stands. Lacey and Kendra sat about half-way up the center. Kendra had barely spoken to her for three days. She’d even spent the last two nights sleeping on the range with the herd – something she hadn’t done for weeks. She sighed and looked at Brent. “I really screwed up.”

  “No, you didn’t. Hell, you would’ve found out about the money at some point, right? It wasn’t even a secret. Not really. She’ll get over it.”

  “I don’t know, Brent. I’ve never seen her that angry before. Why doesn’t she use the money? I just don’t get it.”

  “It’s the settlement money. See, after Mom and Dad died, the state agreed to let her have us kids. On one condition. That she pursue every possible means to gain compensation for the accident. In other words, they wanted to make sure she’d have the money to raise us, without state assistance.”

  “That’s bullshit!”

  “Yeah, well, that was the deal. They figured if she was going to be broke and living off the state, they’d just as soon adopt us out.”

  “Go on.”

  “So, she agreed with the terms. It was the only way they’d turn four kids over to a twenty-year-old girl whose only life experience was riding the rodeo circuit and a couple of years in the Navy.”

  “And?”

  “Well, she hired one of the local lawyers and told him to do what he could, but that she didn’t care if she got any money or anything. To just go through the motions or get enough to pay himself, right? The lawyer made some calls, and even hired an investigator. That’s when we found out the pilot was drunk.”

  “I thought it was your parent’s private plane? Did they know their pilot had a drinking problem?”

  “He wasn’t their regular pilot. So, no, they didn’t know. Anyway, this pilot owned a fairly large charter company. Came highly recommended, for all the good that had done. The whole thing went to court eventually. The lawyer cleaned out the estate, since the pilot was killed in the crash along with our folks, and in the end the case shut down his entire operation. Now, that had really pissed Kendra off. The jury had wanted to make an example out of the company for letting something like this happen. They gave us something like twelve million, after the attorney took his cut.”

  “And she never touched it?”

  “Well, I don’t know about never. I mean, we’ve always had enough to eat. And we’ve never been without something that we really needed. There’s no mortgage on the Heartland, and her truck might be a POS, but it’s paid for. Kendra’s not a real luxurious kinda girl, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know,” Michelle mumbled.

  Lenise waved at her over Brent’s shoulder as she crossed behind him. Michelle smiled and waved back. “They really are a cute couple, aren’t they?”

  Brent looked over his shoulder and frowned. “Most of the time.”

  Michelle followed the direction of his gaze. Brad took Lenise by her upper arm and led her further away from the chutes. “What’s going on there?” she asked.

  “Don’t know.” Brent pushed off the fence and landed in a dusty cloud. “I’ll be right back.”

  Brad and Lenise were arguing. Michelle glanced toward the stands. Kendra must have seen what was happening. She took the bleacher steps two at a time and then made her way toward where Michelle waited.

  Shouts brought her attention back to the kids.

  “I don’t care, Lenise! You’ll do it because I said so!”

  “No, Brad. I won’t!”

  A moment later, Lenise rushed past Michelle and left the grounds. Michelle turned back toward Brent and Brad to find them in a heated discussion of their own. Brent put his hand on Brad’s shoulder and Brad shrugged it off before heading toward his assigned chute.

  “What the hell was that about?” Kendra stood beside her.

  “I don’t know. A lover’s spat, I guess. Brad’s nervous about his ride.”

  “He’s never been that nervous. No. Something’s wrong.”

  Brent reached them and put his thumbs through his belt loops. “That boy has a screw loose.”

  “What’s his problem? He’s been meaner than a rattlesnake all week.”

  “Something about how infernal women don’t listen. That’s all I could get out of him.”

  Michelle smiled. “See? Just a little spat. C’mon. Let’s watch him ride.”

  The chute pulled open and eight seconds later Brad jumped to the ground after a near-perfect ride. At least, Michelle thought it looked as perfect as she’d ever seen. The judges agreed and scored ninety-seven points. That put Brad in the lead for the day, as well as giving him his pro status. If that didn’t cheer him up, she didn’t know what would.

  Inside the arena, Brad lifted his hat from the dirt and gave a half-hearted wave to the crowd. The expression on his face, on the other hand, seemed less excited that she’d have expected. His brow was furrowed, creating deep lines in a forehead far too young for them.

  Kendra watched her little brother through a furrowed brow of her own. They looked so much alike. “You’re worried about him, aren’t you?”

  She didn’t answer, but leveled her eyes directly into Michelle’s. Heat stabbed her midsection and sent a tremor up her spine. She whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  “Kendra, I—”

  “No. Listen. I over-reacted. Like I always do.”

  “You’re under a lot of stress right now, Kendra. It’s okay.”

  “It won’t happen again.” She pulled Michelle into her arms, gently, almost tentatively, as though she might balk like a skittish horse.

  Eyes closed, Michelle let Kendra hold her. She’d missed her touch and now allowed her warmth to encompass her. “Are we okay, now?”

  “Yeah,” Kendra answered. “Let’s go watch the rest of the show from the stands.”

  Euphoric. It was the only way to describe how she felt when Kendra looked at her like she did in that moment.

  She followed Kendra back to the grandstand, her arm guiding Michelle like a beacon on a dark night, steering ships to safe harbor. By the time they reached the stands, it was as though they’d never fought at all.

  The second show proved as exciting as the first. Brad’s second go-round for the day earned him a score nearly as high as the first, only because his second bull didn’t score as well. His hometown crowd went crazy when he won first place for the day. He was officially the high school rodeo bull riding champion.

  Michelle glanced around for any sign of Lenise, but apparently she hadn’t come back to watch him ride. Or win.

  Kids, she sighed. They’d find their way. She forced her concerns out of her mind and concentrated on having a good time. Relaxing for the first time in far too long, she allowed the festival atmosphere to consume her.

  Just as the sun moved behind the grandstand to cast long s
hadows over the arena, Kendra stood and pulled Michelle up with her. “Well, that’s it. You ready to go home?”

  Home.

  Michelle’s heart raced. She wished she were going home. But the old house filled with generations of love wasn’t her home, as much as she wanted it to be. A slice of regret cut away at her insides. Would it ever be?

  Kendra’s arm rested around her waist as she led her toward the parking lot. They both turned to the sound of immense applause.

  “That sonofabitch,” Kendra muttered under her breath.

  Harold Mason stood in the bed of a pickup truck in the center of the arena with the rodeo chairman.

  The loudspeaker blared to life. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to the man responsible for today’s festivities and a great friend of our community. Harold Mason has been more than generous with his time and his wallet over the past year, and tonight is no different.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. It is with a great love of Randall County and the wonderful, wholesome and family oriented sport of rodeo that I present the Randall High School Rodeo Club with this check for ten thousand dollars!”

  Kendra’s muscles tensed against Michelle’s back. “Look at him. He’s like their damn hero, or something.”

  “You can fight him, Kendra.”

  Brent sighed. “I know what you’re thinking. Match it. Beat it. She already did. She donated twenty-five thousand at the beginning of the school year; anonymously.”

  “Shut up, Brent.”

  “It’s true! If you would just take some credit, the whole town would be on your side, and you know it.”

  “I won’t buy people’s loyalty.”

  “Then I hope the website turns out to be the miracle we’re all hoping for. ‘Cause in another few months, I’ll be surprised if we have a ranch left.”

  

  The sun set over the western edge of the ranch just as Kendra pulled the truck in front of the house. She glanced at Michelle, who sat in the middle of the bench seat with Brent on her far side. For twenty or so miles Michelle’s thigh had rubbed against hers. About five miles back Michelle’s left hand had found its way between Kendra’s thighs and she’d been hard pressed to keep quiet, much less stay between the lines on the road.

  There must be something very wrong in her brain to have kept herself away from Michelle for days over... nothing, really. Her good heart was one of the things that made Kendra adore her so much, yet she’d held against her something she’d done out of...

  Not love.

  Kindness, maybe.

  Appreciation?

  But no. Not love.

  Kendra’s neck grew rigid as she slipped from beneath Michelle’s hand and out of the truck. The gorgeous woman on the bench seat next to her had made it very clear to Lacey that she was not in love, which was rather understandable. There was very little about Kendra to love and she would die before she’d let herself believe anything else. As proven by the fact that she, rather selfishly, made up with Michelle for one reason, and one reason only. Because she couldn’t stand not being with her for one more minute.

  “Is anyone hungry?” Brent pushed his door open with his shoulder.

  “Not me. I’m stuffed. Just how many different kinds of barbeque are there around here?” Michelle replied.

  Kendra smiled and helped Michelle to the ground. “Several. And if I’m not mistaken, you tried them all. And the cotton candy. And the corn dogs, and how many trips did you make to the beer wagon?”

  Glancing up at her with glazed eyes, Michelle answered, “One too many, I think.” She practically hummed.

  That would explain the hand.

  “Take her on inside, Kendra. I’ll check on the stock and be inside shortly,” Brent offered.

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m fine. Just a little tipsy, that’s all.”

  “Should I take advantage of the situation?”

  She’d meant the words to be a joke. The smile that seemed so at home on Michelle’s face faded. Passion flared in her lover’s eyes. Michelle’s bottom lip quivered just enough to make her take it between her teeth. Then Michelle leaned into her; whether from desire or drink, Kendra couldn’t tell. And she didn’t care.

  She hadn’t kissed her, really kissed her, in too many hours to count. A soft breeze touched her but did nothing to cool the fire in her jeans.

  No wonder Kendra had been impossible to live with all week. At least, that’s what the boys on the range told her last night. Tonight, she would sleep in Michelle’s arms. No doubt about it.

  Kendra lowered her head and brushed her lips against Michelle’s fuller, pouting lips. She sighed and Kendra caught the whisper of a sound on her tongue. Michelle tasted of cotton candy and lite beer.

  “Kendra!”

  She groaned, unwilling to break off the thrill of growing passion too quickly. She raised one hand and waved Brent away without looking.

  “Seriously, Sis. You need to see this.”

  Kendra grumbled even as she pulled away from Michelle’s sweet smile. “Hold that thought,” she stated emphatically.

  Michelle grinned like a cat might while lying in a sun spot. “What thought? Who can think? I can only feel when you hold me like that.”

  Kendra grew moist and her insides began to beg for just a few minutes alone with her. Now. Right this minute.

  “Kendra. Get your ass in here.”

  “I’m coming,” she yelled toward the barn.

  “Soon, dear.” Michelle practically hummed the words.

  She laughed at Michelle’s play on words. Yeah, she’d had a few too many at the rodeo. She shook her head, touched the tip of her nose where it suddenly itched and jogged to the barn.

  Inside, she glared at Brent. “What now?”

  “That.”

  Kendra followed the direction indicated by Brent’s nod. Apache’s stall stood wide open. Apache lay on the straw-covered, earthen floor.

  Dead.

  “What the hell happened to him?” Kendra raced into the stall and stepped over the horse’s lifeless head to reach the back of the rectangular enclosure.

  “I can’t find a single mark on him. Poison, maybe? Colic? Twisted gut?”

  He was right. Kendra stood up when she couldn’t find any signs of injury. Ever careful with feed and care for the livestock, she suspected someone else had had a hand in the gelding’s death.

  And she knew of only one person who would have any motive to do such a thing. “Mason.”

  “I don’t know about that, Kennie. What would he have to gain? This isn’t even really our horse. Lenise is going to be a wreck when she finds out.”

  “Terror. Fear. Intimidation. All reasons why that asshat would do this. Call Doc Granger. I want a full autopsy. I want to know exactly what was in his stomach, and his blood, and for how long. I want to know what killed him.”

  The barn door swung open and Brad stepped through. “What the hell happened to Lennie’s horse?”

  Her youngest brother’s face suddenly looked younger than it had in years. He wore the same expression he’d had when his dog died a few years ago. Helpless. Injured. Pale.

  “We don’t know yet.” Brent took a step toward Brad.

  Brad skirted past him and knelt beside his girlfriend’s horse. Kendra put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

  With what seemed to Kendra like icy deliberation, Brad stood. “It don’t matter none. It’s just a damn horse.”

  Kendra glanced at Brent, whose eyebrows narrowed in a confused scowl. She suspected that her own face bore the same expression. “You alright, there, kid? Something you want to talk about?”

  “No.” Brad stared at the horse for a moment, then adjusted his hat and left the barn.

  “What’s gotten into him?”

  Kendra shook her head. She had no idea, but she was damn sure going to find out.

  

  Michelle ran the brush through her hair with quick strokes and
winced when it came into contact with a particularly rough knot. When she finished, she rummaged through her make-up bag and found her soft rose blush and brown mascara. It was all she’d have time for before Kendra found her way into their bedroom. She applied just enough of the make-up to be presentable and then stripped off all of her clothes. Then she slipped into a nightgown she’d picked up in town last week. Light lavender satin, almost white, it set off her eyes and gave a soft blush to her skin. At least, she hoped it did. She turned left, and then right, studying her reflection in the full-length mirror. The hemline caught her mid-thigh. She smiled with confidence.

  How many times had she looked at herself like this and despised her reflection? Her thighs were too big. Her breasts had left perky behind ten years ago. Her skin was too pale, and her tummy was far from flat. But none of that mattered. Not anymore.

  Her confidence had been born from Kendra’s admiring glances and heated touch. The feeling that she was beautiful came so naturally now that she could barely remember having felt not good enough.

  She hurried to the bed.

  Should she lie on her back? Or her side? She bit her lip and tried both positions.

  On her back.

  With her hair spread over her shoulders and curling over the cleavage revealed by the low-cut neckline of her negligee.

  It had been far too long since they’d made love. She giggled as she tried to force herself to relax.

  A deep breath.

  A sigh.

  Another giggle.

  The front door slammed downstairs. Michelle took another deep breath and waited for Kendra’s boots to stomp up the stairs. A minute later, footsteps raced up the staircase, but they turned into another room and a second door slammed.

  Brad?

  Something heavy crashed in Brad’s room.

  Any thoughts Michelle had toward giddy laughter, lovemaking or make-up tips for the about-to-get-laid died. She threw on her bathrobe and rushed into the hall. Another loud bang came from behind Brad’s bedroom door.

  “Brad, honey, are you okay?”

  “Go away.”

  “What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”