Joke

by Mia Malone

  Thinking about the things I wanted to do with Joke made heat run through me, and I couldn’t hold a soft moan back. Would he be a little rough? A little dirty? I made it last while I made up fantasies about how it would feel to have him push me up against a wall, fucking me hard and fast. I came with another soft moan, and my orgasm pushed me quickly toward sleep.

  That night I didn’t dream about a man with hard fists and an angry face. I dreamt about a tall, blonde man with calm eyes and a grin that made my insides quiver.

  Chapter Four

  Sissy

  “Why here?”

  I looked at Lee and wondered if I should share just how stupid my reason for being in Wilhelmine was. Then I decided that I probably should tell her and the reason I decided this was that I was slightly inebriated.

  I wasn’t drunk, and neither were the two women sitting next to me in the spacious living room, but we had a soft, sweet buzz going and it felt good. They’d offered me a beer and laughed loudly when I shared that I hated the taste with a vengeance. Then we’d had a tiny tequila shot, after which we’d switched to white wine topped up with sparkling water.

  “I was headed for the west coast,” I said and nodded toward the fantastic view in front of me. “I grew up with mountains around me. Figured I’d stop somewhere for a day or two and…” I turned to face Jenny. “My grandmother was called Jenny. I saw the sign, decided I liked the look of the town so I’d stop. Started chatting with Lee, she said to go ask for a job. And I did.”

  “You stopped because of my name?”

  “Yup.” I nodded sagely and looked at the mountains again. “And the look of the town.”

  “I’m gonna have to tell my brother. You get that right?”

  “Why?” I mumbled.

  “He owes me, and he rarely does which makes me a very happy woman.”

  I glanced over at her and raised my brows in a silent question.

  “He’s looking at you,” Lee said slowly. “Didn’t you know?”

  “Looking at me?” I asked, stalling for time because it felt as if most of the air had suddenly been pushed out of my lungs.

  “Looking,” Jenny said and reached for the bottle of wine standing in a cooler on the small wooden table next to her.

  “That’s a fantastic piece of furniture,” I squeaked, hoping they’d politely accept my attempt at changing the topic.

  They didn’t.

  “Gib made it,” Lee said. “And, yeah. Joke it totally checking you out.”

  I realized that I wasn’t the only one who had planned to do some snooping.

  “Gib made it?” I echoed in another attempt at not discussing Joke’s potential interest in me.

  Until then, talk had been mostly casual, and I had relaxed into the evening. We’d talked about my leg and how I knew Day. I’d shared how much I missed my daughters, and how I hoped to see them for Easter break. Neither of the women had children of their own, but Jenny had explained the family dynamics, and it had shocked me to find out that the two of them hadn’t known each other even a year. They seemed like sisters, and when I told them so, they shared a glance and a smile so sweet I had to swallow. Lee had told hilarious stories about Gibson’s three sons and how Paddy had behaved like a ridiculous fool when one of them got involved with his daughter.

  “Yeah. So, what about Joke? He’s looking. Are you?”

  I was, but I wasn’t sure if I should tell them. He was my boss, and Jenny was his sister.

  “I don’t do men.”

  I could have slapped myself repeatedly on my forehead when I heard myself blurt this out, but settled for putting one hand in front of my face. Mimi had told me with all the condescending confidence of a fourteen-year-old girl that this was called to facepalm and I’d looked at her while I smiled and nodded, wondering what planet she thought I lived on.

  “Really?” they squeaked in unison.

  Well, shit. I’d have to explain, and in a way which wasn’t too embarrassing.

  “Uh,” I mumbled.

  Yeah. That should explain it, Sissy, I thought. Idiot.

  “Here,” Lee said calmly and handed me another tequila shot. “Sounds like we’ll need a few of these.”

  We did, and the burn down my throat felt good.

  “I like sex,” I said, and added quietly, “A lot.” Then I winced and looked apologetically at them. “Don’t particularly like to do it with men.”

  “We got that,” Lee said calmly and put her glass down on the table. “We don’t mind, Sissy. Be as gay as you like.”

  I blinked.

  “I’m not gay.”

  They blinked too, and Jenny added a hoarse, “Huh.”

  After a brief silence, Lee leaned forward, holding out the tequila bottle and waving her hand, indicating that I should hold my glass out. I did, and she poured some more, but to my relief, just half the glass.

  “You like sex but not with women… or men?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “I’m almost afraid to ask. With what?” Jenny drawled.

  “God,” I said with a chuckle. “I’m not gay, and I don’t mind men exactly.”

  “You don’t mind men exactly,” Jenny echoed.

  “But you were married,” Lee said slowly and looked at me with wide eyes.

  “Yes,” I confirmed.

  Their stories weren’t the same as mine, but they were both divorced. We’d talked about Dante, and they had understood exactly how much of a failure it had made me feel when something I thought would be good enough to last a lifetime had faded away into something that was only a dull pace and nothing to talk about.

  “Sissy we don’t get it. Can’t you just spell it out?” Jenny asked.

  Well, shit. Okay. I’d have to explain my stupid comment which was mostly an embarrassing piece of information which I had not planned to share with two women whom I liked but didn’t exactly know. Or with anyone, ever, if I was perfectly honest. I downed the shot, and they watched me in silence.

  “Not much to spell out,” I said finally. “I faked orgasms for more than five years, and then we got divorced. Not doing that again, so it’s me and my fingers.”

  My voice had gone up, and I felt defensive because both their men seemed like the kind of men who would produce an astonishing number of orgasms on a regular basis, which was further confirmed by the identical looks on their faces. I didn’t like the pity in their eyes so I tried to make it all into something we could laugh about.

  “So, ladies, that’s why I don’t do men.” I raised my right hand and wiggled the fingers in a small wave, to indicate that I was making light of the whole situation, and added breezily, “And if I get desperate, I guess me and my fingers can always spend an evening watching some porn to spice things up.”

  A sudden, unwelcome and hoarse sound behind me made me close my eyes. I hoped it wasn’t Gibson coming home unexpectedly, but I couldn’t see who else it would be, so I turned slowly to face him.

  The man of the house was indeed standing there, but it was worse than that. All four of his friends were with him, Paddy was holding two tubs of what looked like ice cream, and they were all trying unsuccessfully to hide that they were grinning.

  “You –” I closed my mouth with a snap and turned to Lee. “Please tell me I didn’t just tell my boss I would watch movies with adult content,” I whimpered.

  “Bet he watches it too,” Lee said calmly.

  I laughed, but it sounded mostly as if someone had kicked me in the stomach and this was mostly because that’s how it felt.

  “Can I have a word with you?” I asked Joke quietly.

  “Sure.”

  His face was blank, but his eyes were full of laughter.

  “In private,” I added and got up, indicating the back porch with my hand.

  “Okay.”

  We walked outside, and I avoided looking at the rest of the men. They had the decency to remain silent, which I thought was nice of them considering what they’d just heard.
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  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled when Joke had closed the door.

  “It’s okay, Sissy,” he said calmly.

  There was some snow on the porch, and the wind brushed over my cheeks. The cold air would hopefully reduce my blush from stop sign red to something which would be a little bit more attractive.

  “It’s not like I’d watch porn-porn,” I tried to explain.

  “Okay.”

  “I flipped through the channels, and I thought it was kind of gross. A lot of close-ups,” I murmured and kept my eyes firmly on the fantastic view.

  “Bet it was.”

  “So, if I would watch it, which I won’t, it wouldn’t be that kind of porn,” I concluded.

  “What kind would it be?” he asked curiously.

  “I’m not entirely sure,” I admitted.

  “Okay.”

  His voice sounded strangled, and I glanced over at him. The tips of his mouth twitched, and I could tell that he was valiantly trying to push back amusement, which I could understand. I was behaving like an idiot.

  “Are you laughing at me?” I asked, trying to sound blasé and failing miserably.

  “Yeah, babe, but just a little,” he said, and his lips twitched again.

  “I –”

  Something that looked like annoyance flashed over his face suddenly, and he made a small, impatient gesture with his hand.

  “Sissy, shut it,” he said. “I get it. You had a shit marriage, and you got burned. You still like to come, and everyone needs sex, so you just go ahead and do what you gotta do.”

  “It wasn’t a shit marriage,” I protested.

  “Honey, we heard you. Faking orgasms for five fucking years is not a good marriage.”

  “He didn’t know.”

  “He knew,” Joke declared.

  “He didn’t,” I insisted.

  “He knew.”

  The tone of his voice didn’t encourage further arguments from my side, and I didn’t have anything else to say anyway so I glared at him instead.

  “Babe,” he said patiently. “Next time you come, put two fingers inside and feel what’s happening. If your pussy wasn’t doing that to his dick when you faked it, he knew. Might not have said anything and certainly didn’t do something about it, which is why it was a shit marriage. But he knew.”

  Well, crap. Had Dante known? I suddenly felt like an even bigger fool than the porn-comment had made me out to be.

  “You’re my employer. I shouldn’t have said that in front of you…” I said, trailed off and wasn’t sure what else I should do.

  He grinned suddenly.

  “You take this boss thing way too seriously.”

  “You are my boss.”

  “When you’re behind the bar, you do what I tell you to do. When you’re not, you’re the boss of you.”

  The thought of him telling me to do all kind of things behind the bar made a soft shiver run down my spine, but I pushed it back and nodded. Then I turned and walked back inside to face four men and two women who were studiously trying to look mature and reasonable but mostly achieving silly.

  “So, porn,” Day said when we’d sat down, and the silence stretched out into an awkward void.

  “Day!” Lee squealed.

  “Just making conversation,” he said and winked at me.

  I exhaled because he’d taken the edge of my embarrassment with his comment.

  “What can I say. That’s all they have in the motel,” I shared breezily. Joke made a wheezing sound, and I turned to him. “I asked, and the man in the office said –”

  “For fuck’s sake,” he interrupted. “He said that?”

  “Yes,” I confirmed and nodded for added emphasis.

  “He’s such a sleazebag,” Lee murmured.

  “Hugely,” Jenny said, and she sounded angry, so I turned to her but my head whipped around when Joke suddenly moved.

  “Right. You’re not staying there,” he said, took hold of my hand and pulled me out of the couch.

  “What?” I asked weakly.

  There were a few chuckles in the room, and I thought I heard Lee murmur the word rabbit-hole, but I was too stunned to look at anyone other than Joke.

  “Get your purse, babe. Let’s go.”

  “Where?” I asked, scrambling to grab my bag and trying to keep up with his long steps.

  “Sissy.”

  I decided that the look on his face was a clear indication that he wouldn’t be receptive to further inquiries as to our destination and followed him meekly to his car. I also stayed silent during the drive to the motel, mostly because when I tried to ask him what was going on, he rudely told me to shut it. Then he took my hand and pulled me toward the offices. I stopped and glared at him, not sure what was going on and not entirely comfortable with the situation which had exploded on me.

  “Go pack your bags,” he said, and I could tell that he was trying to calm down.

  “What?” I wheezed.

  “There’s a small apartment above Oak. It has some drawbacks, but you can’t stay here. I’ll talk to Jones while you get your things.”

  “Who?”

  “The douche in the office.”

  I swallowed and held his gaze while I made my mind up. What would he do if I refused? Did I really want to refuse?

  “Bags, babe,” he insisted.

  “Is it… Will I be safe there?” I asked.

  His face softened immediately.

  “Oh, Sissy,” he sighed. “Yeah, you’ll be safe. A lot safer than here. Second floor, good locks, and a deadbolt. I live next door.”

  Oh.

  “Go.”

  “Okay,” I said and went upstairs to pack my bag.

  I was feeling a little dazed, which could be either from the tequila, the faking orgasms and watching porn discussion, or the fact that I was suddenly more or less moving into Joke’s home. It didn’t take long to shove my few things into the bags, and when I came back, I saw Joke standing in the office, glaring at the rather unpleasant man who had informed me that porn was the only thing to watch on the TV. One of his eyes was a little red, and it looked like it was swelling.

  Had Joke hit him? Because of the porn? Wow.

  “Sorry,” the man muttered sourly.

  “Jones,” Joke said calmly.

  “Okay, okay. I shouldn’t have told you the only thing we had on the TV was, uh, adult movies.”

  “Okay,” I said quietly.

  “As compensation for this idiocy, you will…” Joke prompted, calmly watching the man in a way I found more frightening than any explosion of anger.

  “Joke,” he whined.

  “You will…” Joke pushed.

  The man scowled, but he muttered in my direction, although without looking directly at me, “I’ll give you a discount on your stay.”

  “Jones.”

  It was clear from the way Joke straightened that he’d had enough and I braced. Jones apparently understood too because he raised both his hands in an impatient gesture.

  “Fuck it,” he said sourly and looked straight at me. “You don’t have to pay for the stay.”

  I stared at him as this penetrated, and then I quickly calculated what half my bill would be which really wasn’t a lot.

  “This is for the lady cleaning my room,” I said and put the bills on the counter in front of Jones.

  “Make sure Marisol gets it. I’ll know if you don’t,” Joke said quietly.

  “Yeah, okay,” Jones grunted.

  Then we were moving again, but I sidestepped and turned back toward Jones. My surprise had faded, and I was angry. As in, really angry. Sure, they had a clientele who might want to watch the disgusting movies I’d seen on the screen, but it should have been clear to the man that I wasn’t exactly part of that category. This meant he’d made fun of me, and I did not like it.

  “One more thing,” I snapped. “Those things you thought I’d want to watch? If I wanted to see a closeup of a vagina… Didn’t it occur to you that I cou
ld just push a mirror up between my legs and look at my own?”

  Without another look at the man, I turned and stomped out of there.

  Joke laughed all the way back to Oak.

  ***

  Joke

  She was amazing. Pissed off, a little embarrassed and a lot confused but she’d snarled at Jones and stalked out to stand by the car, waiting impatiently for him to unlock the door. He laughed because of her words but even more because of the way she looked. A little tipsy still and with her hair loose around her shoulders in a way which made him want to wrap it around his hand. Or any part of his body.

  She speared him with a glare which made his cock twitch, and he grinned at her.

  Then he took her home. Or, almost home, at least. The apartment next to his was furnished, but sparsely and not very nicely since he didn’t use it. Paddy had rented it before his father died and left him his house, and it had been empty since then. Joke had used the living room as a home gym, but he liked the large open space in Gib’s barn better, so the equipment was gone.

  “Bedroom, extra room, really fucking small living space and the kitchenette sucks, but you can use mine if you want to go crazy. And…” he hesitated and decided there wasn’t any way around it, so he told her. “We’ll share the bathroom.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, drawback. Doors from both places, deadbolts on both of them. It’s big, but there’s only one bathroom.”

  She looked into the bathroom and the door at the other end of the room, leading into his space. Then she turned back to look at him. Something was going on behind her eyes, and he waited to see if the one bathroom situation would be an issue.

  “Okay,” she said quietly. “Not a problem.”

  “I work out at Gib’s place most days, and he’s got a couple of showers there. I’m using them more than this one.”

  “Okay,” she repeated.

  “The house is old. Meant to rebuild but my place works fine for me, so I never got around to it.”

  Why the hell did it sound as if he was making excuses all of a sudden?

  “Joke. It’s okay.”

  Was she laughing at him?

  “Huh,” he grunted.

  Yeah. Now she was totally laughing at him.

  “You work out at Gibson’s place? I’ve meant to ask; is there a gym in town?”