Suddenly Beck: (A Hot & Sweet MM Romance Series) (Belong to Me Book 1)

by Vawn Cassidy

  ‘I wish it was because I was experimenting,’ he replies quietly. ‘But the truth is I didn’t really want a girlfriend at all, and I had no interest in sleeping with her. People were starting to talk, and I felt pressured into being normal, whatever that is. So, I ended up kind of dating, and for a while I managed to avoid anything physical, but eventually, I came to a point where I couldn’t stall any longer. The group of friends I was caught up in were already starting to speculate, so I decided to just do it.’

  ‘And?’ I prompt, knowing he needed to get it all out. It was clearly bothering him and most likely had for a long time.

  ‘And.’ He closes his eyes, a red flush of shame high on his cheek bones. ‘I couldn’t…’

  ‘You couldn’t get hard, could you?’ I say quietly.

  He shakes his head in embarrassment.

  ‘Nat.’ I reach out again and lay my hand on his arm to stop him from nervously playing with the discarded cutlery. ‘I’m not surprised, not with all the pressure you were under, and if you’re not attracted to women…’

  ‘I’m not, at all,’ he sighs. ‘It would’ve been easier, I think, if I’d been bi, but I’m not. The only way I could get hard enough to actually have sex with her was to close my eyes and just…’ he breaks off, shaking his head.

  ‘Think of guys.’ I finish for him.

  ‘Yeah,’ he mutters. ‘The whole thing was a bit of a disaster. It was messy and just plain embarrassing.’

  ‘Nat, look at me.’ He stares at his plate a moment longer before finally lifting those gorgeous blue eyes to me.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ I tell him firmly. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong. You tried it and discovered you’re not sexually attracted to women, you’re attracted to men. There’s no shame in that.’

  ‘You must think I’m really pathetic.’

  ‘I don’t,’ I say angrily. ‘Don’t say that about yourself either. Nat, you may have grown up with wealth and privilege, but you didn’t have the same advantages I did. You didn’t have a safe, loving, and supportive environment to figure it all out. You grew up in a restrictive, patriarchal home, where everything you did was scrutinised. You were told, from a young age I’m guessing, that being gay was wrong, which made you feel as though you had to hide or repress who you are.’

  ‘It was like slowly suffocating,’ he admits. ‘I couldn’t take it anymore, and I reached my breaking point and walked away from everyone and everything. That wasn’t how I wanted to live my life anymore. I walked away from a cold and sterile flat that my mother had hired a designer to decorate over my express objections. I walked away from a job that my father had insisted I take and that I hated. I walked away from friends, who weren’t friends at all and had no idea who I really was.’

  ‘Takes a strong person to make a change like that.’ I smile as I lift my hand and cup his jaw gently, running the pad of my thumb along the delicious day-old beard beginning to bloom along his jaw. ‘I’m really proud of you, Nat.’

  His eyes shoot up to lock on mine, widening as his lips part on a small, unconscious exhale, and I’m willing to bet he’s never heard the words I’m proud of you before and my heart aches for him. My mum and dad said it to us all the time, to the point we shrugged it off and took it for granted but that was something Nat never had, and if he’s never heard the words, I’m proud, I have the uncomfortable feeling he’s probably never heard the words I love you from his parents either. The realisation sits like lead in my stomach, and a weight settles on my shoulders that wasn’t there before.

  ‘Nat.’ My hand drops from his face. ‘This thing between us.’ I shake my head trying to collect my thoughts. ‘I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I don’t know if I’m what you’re looking for.’

  ‘I don’t know what I’m looking for,’ Nat whispers with a small, unconscious frown.

  ‘I don’t want to be in a relationship,’ I tell him honestly.

  ‘Neither do I.’ He looks up at me consideringly. ‘Beck, I’ve just left everything I’ve ever known. I’ve got a lot of things I need to figure out. Where I want to live, where I want to work, who I want to be. The last thing I need right now is the added complication of a relationship. That being said, part of figuring all this out is being able to explore my sexuality openly.’

  ‘I can understand that.’ I nod.

  ‘Look, I think we can both agree we’ve got insane chemistry going on, would that be fair to say?’

  ‘Understatement.’ My mouth curves slowly.

  ‘We want each other, that much is clear, and we’re both on the same wavelength when it comes to not wanting the complication of a relationship right now.’

  ‘What are you suggesting?’ I ask, my stomach tightening with possibilities. ‘A hook-up agreement? Friends with benefits?’

  ‘A little more than that,’ Nat muses thoughtfully. ‘Like I said before, I could go to any club and have no strings sex, but I want the connection.’

  I can’t help the small flare of jealousy at the thought of another man touching him.

  ‘Then what?’ I frown not entirely sure what he’s proposing.

  ‘A fling.’

  ‘A fling?’ I repeat.

  ‘Yeah.’ Nat smiles. ‘A summer fling. I don’t know what I want yet. I don’t know where I’m going or where I’ll end up, but I know I’ll stay here in the bay until the end of summer. I promised I’d help your mum get the restaurant back up and running, and I keep my promises. While I’m here, we have a fling. We get to act on this crazy attraction between us with no expectations or promises, and I get to explore my sexuality with someone that I not only like and trust but enjoy spending time with.’

  ‘And when the summer is over?’ I query.

  ‘We walk away satisfied and most importantly as friends,’ he says earnestly.

  A whole summer of Nat, naked beneath me with no strings attached, and at the end of it all, we walk away satisfied and still friends, what could possibly go wrong?

  I stare at him in silence as he shifts awkwardly.

  ‘Or not,’ he says quickly, his cheeks flushing in that adorable way they do when he’s embarrassed or unsure of himself. He gathers up the empty plates and sets them in the sink, turning the tap on. ‘I know you prefer it to be sex only. If you don’t want to, it’s fine we can still be friends. I’m sure I can find someone else to…’

  ‘No.’ I move closer, my back pressing against his as I reach down and turn the tap off, rumbling against his ear, ‘No one else gets to touch you. If we do this, you’re mine and mine only.’

  I can’t help the primal satisfaction that shoots straight to the pit of my belly as he shivers against me, his breath catching in his throat. I reach up slowly, sliding my hands underneath the t-shirt of mine he’s wearing and skimming along his warm skin. I love seeing him wearing something of mine and having him smell like me. There’s something so primitive and sexy about my scent over his skin mingling with his.

  ‘Say it,’ I breathe against his ear, gliding my hands up his torso and feeling his nipples tighten beneath my fingertips.

  ‘Only yours,’ he gasps. ‘I’m only yours.’

  My dick hardens instantly at his breathy words, and I yank my hands free turning him around abruptly and crashing my lips to his.

  He groans into my mouth, and I’m hit with a fierce need. No matter what happens at the end of the summer, right now, he’s mine. Every first of his will be with me, and it fills me with an intense satisfaction. I want him to feel nothing but pleasure. I want to drive him out of his mind, but right now, there’s only one thing I want more than anything else. I want to make him come so hard he sees not just stars but entire fucking galaxies.

  ‘Beck,’ he pants against my mouth, his lips swollen and eyes glazed. ‘I need… I need…’

  ‘I know, baby,’ I hum against his mouth. ‘I know what you need.’

  I step back, taking his hand and drawing him with me, leadi
ng him across the kitchen and through the doorway into my studio. My personal space, where I never let anyone else, but I want him in there, naked beneath me on my ridiculously comfy sofa.

  I close the door behind us as we step inside.

  ‘Wow,’ Nat breathes softly as he looks around at the large space, taking in the incredible view out across the storm-tossed ocean as the rain beats against the window, leaving the room bathed in rippling patterns. ‘This is your studio?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say simply as he turns to face me, walking backwards as I stalk him slowly.

  ‘Ah, the inner sanctum.’ His mouth curls. ‘How many people have been allowed in here?’

  ‘No one,’ I reply. ‘Only you.’

  His gaze heats, and his breathing speeds up. He likes me claiming him, and I can see how turned on he is. My gaze briefly drops to the huge, steely bulge at the front of his jeans, and my stomach tightens in anticipation as my mouth waters.

  I want him so bad.

  His gaze flicks to the side, and he sees the huge floor length, ornately gilded mirror I have propped against the wall.

  ‘Why do you have a mirror in here?’ he asks breathlessly.

  ‘You never know when it might come in handy,’ I murmur as I watch his vivid blue gaze drop to my hands.

  I grip the edge of my t-shirt, peeling it up and over my head, tossing it casually aside and continue my slow, inexorable advance toward him. His hot gaze trailing over my chest and abs, and I know I’m cut. The surfing keeps me in shape, but Ryan’s also got a gym set up at his place, so I work out fairly frequently.

  I stop in front of him, and he reaches up tentatively, his hand hovering above my chest, his eyes flicking to mine as if seeking permission.

  ‘Touch me, Nat,’ I whisper.

  His fingers are soft and inquisitive as he traces the curves and contours of my body starting at my collarbone, and his fingers skim along the ridge of the bone, up and over my broad shoulders and down the length of my arms as if he’s mapping every millimeter of my skin in fascination. He splays his fingers and presses his palms to my pecs, trailing down my chest, his fingers curling at the last minute, and his short fingernails scrape over my sensitive nipples causing me to hiss before he lowers his hands down the ripples of my abs.

  His maddening touches blaze a trail of fire across my skin wherever they touch, heightening my awareness of him and quickening his breath as he enjoys touching my body.

  I cup my hand over his, stopping his exploration. I’m so close to the edge already, and I don’t want to end up coming in my pants like an inexperienced fourteen-year-old.

  I take his hand and draw him over to the mirror, turning him to face his reflection with me standing pressed against his back. I’m slightly taller and broader than him, making me feel oddly protective as I surround him. Those gorgeous eyes rise to meet mine in the mirror as he watches me, his expression so trusting, and I find myself desperately wanting to be worthy of that trust.

  I reach for the edge of his t-shirt and skim it up his body. He lifts his arms without hesitation, and I toss it across the room not caring where it lands. My hands skim over his shoulders and slowly down the length of his arms until my fingers tangle with his. Lifting his hands, I wrap them around the back of my neck, so his body arches into a sexy curve as I press my lips into the crook of his neck and kiss him softly.

  ‘Beck,’ he whispers as his head falls back against my shoulder in surrender, and the throaty sound of my name gasped from his lips makes my balls tighten.

  I trail my hands down the sinuous curve of his body, my fingertips skimming his warm skin and mapping the topography of his body as if I was sculpting him reverently from clay. He’s so beautiful. His body is lean and taut, slim and graceful almost like a dancer. I want to paint him and sketch him, committing every line and curve of his body to every single medium there is.

  I watch our reflections in the mirror, seeing the flush of pleasure bloom across his skin as I stroke the length of his torso, tracing the ‘V’ of his hips above the low ride of his jeans before skimming back up to tease his nipples into hard peaks.

  ‘Beck, please,’ he groans as he turns his head searching blindly for my lips.

  I kiss him slowly and lazily, sucking on his tongue, his arms still wrapped around the back of my neck as he grips my hair. Unable to help myself, I grind my cock against his arse, and he releases my mouth with a hiss of need.

  ‘Nat,’ I breathe, my breath hot against his ear. ‘Look...’ I stare at our reflections. ‘I want you to watch what I’m going to do to you.’

  He stares into the mirror as I slide my hands down his sleek skin to the buttons on his jeans. I pop the first one and pause, then the second, his breathing speeding up and his pupils dilating. The third button pops, and the sound is loud in the silence of the room eclipsed only by the clatter of rain and our heavy breathing. Finally, I pop the last button, opening his fly fully as his stiff dick bulges through the gap, restrained by the taut fabric of his boxer briefs.

  I slide my fingers slowly under the waistband and hook the material over his cock, revealing the thick wet blushing head. I can feel myself pant harshly, my own dick throbbing as I peel his jeans and boxers over his slim hips, but I don’t push them down completely, instead I leave them nestled just below his heavy weeping cock and tight balls. Displaying him intimately for both of our pleasure.

  Nat’s cheeks flush darkly as he bites his lip, his eyes downcast, and I realise this is the first time he’s allowed anyone to stare so blatantly at his naked cock.

  ‘Look at you,’ I mutter, my voice low and hoarse. ‘Such a fucking gorgeous cock.’ I swallow hard. ‘Jesus, Nat, you’re hung.’

  I skim one solitary fingertip down the length of his dick, barely grazing the hot tight skin. Nat’s panting loudly now, and he draws in a sharp breath as his cock twitches, and I grasp his balls, giving a firm tug, before wrapping my fist around the base of his cock squeezing tightly to stop him from coming. He cries out sharply and falls forward, bracing his palms against the mirror, his breath steaming the cool glass as it puffs out in desperate gasps.

  ‘No,’ I rumble against his ear. ‘You’re not coming until I say so. You’ve waited too long for this for me to cheat you out of a single second of pleasure.’

  He doesn’t speak, but his fevered body shudders against me, his forehead pressed to the glass as he takes deep measured breaths. I skim soft, tender kisses across his shoulders as he takes a moment to calm his body, but I’m not in a much better state. My cock is hard and throbbing, and he only needs to look at me the wrong way and I’m going come all over the swell of his arse cheeks peeking above his slack jeans.

  ‘Nat,’ I whisper as he stares at my large fist wrapped around his cock, and a bead of moisture gathers at the tip.

  I stroke him slowly, gliding leisurely along the length of his beautiful cock, feeling the hot silky skin against my palm, twisting teasingly at the crown until he moans loudly, his gaze fixed on my hand.

  ‘Do you like watching?’ I whisper hotly against his temple, noting the flags of colour across his cheekbones. ‘Do you like watching my hand wrapped around your dick?’

  ‘Yes,’ he pants. ‘God, it’s so fucking hot.’

  I trace my finger across the flared, swollen head gathering up the precum, letting him watch as I lift my finger to my mouth and taste him.

  ‘Mmm.’ I smile slowly. ‘You taste delicious.’

  His lip’s part, and his eyes darken. Taking his hand, I guide him over to the sofa, pushing him down onto his back before leaning in and taking his mouth, letting him sample the flavour of himself on my tongue. I trail my lips down his throat, feeling the burn of the coarse hair against my tender lips. Skimming over his Adam’s apple, I suck gently as he moans and helplessly thrusts his hips at me.

  I continue my journey down, licking his nipples and nipping at them as he grinds his leaking cock against my abs in a wet glide. Unable to stand it any longer, I slide down, my
breath hot and panting against his cock. I glance up at him, and our eyes lock, he bites his lower lip and gives the barest imperceivable nod of his head. Pressing my face into the crease of his groin, I inhale the delicious scent of him, nuzzling my face into his dark nest of pubes before taking the length of him in my mouth, swallowing him down as far as I can take him.

  He cries out at the tight suction of my mouth, thrusting deeper into my throat as his hands tangle in my hair and grip tightly. I hum around his cock in encouragement, urging him on as he fucks deeply into my mouth. Fuck, I’ve never been so turned on in my life. I fucking love him pulling my hair and shoving his massive cock into my throat. I want to taste him, I want to taste his hot cum as it shoots across my tongue and hits the back of my throat, so I suck harder, plunging my swollen lips up and down the length of him.

  ‘No, wait,’ he gasps out, pulling my mouth free as I release his wet cock with a thin trail of spit still glistening from my lips.

  ‘What, baby?’ I pant. ‘Tell me what you want.’

  ‘I want to touch you,’ he breathes heavily. ‘I want us to come together.’

  My eyes flare as I pull away from him abruptly, ripping his jeans and boxers down his legs, leaving him completely naked and splayed out on the sofa. I stand, my cock jutting out, tenting my light grey sweatpants, which already have a damp patch from my wet cock. I shove them down my legs and climb onto the sofa as he spreads his legs, allowing me to settle between them. He reaches down, and we both groan when his hand wraps around my aching cock and strokes firmly, swirling around the sensitive head.

  ‘Fuck, Nat,’ I pant. ‘I’m not going to last.’

  ‘Me either,’ he hisses as I pump his cock roughly.

  ‘Beck,’ he groans.

  I grab his hand from my dick and spit into his palm before wrapping his fist around both of our cocks. I keep my hand wrapped firmly around his to guide him as we set a desperate pace. Our dicks rubbing together, lubricated by my spit and our mingled precum. Our hips hump and grind against each other, and our cries loud and frantic. I let go first, coming in huge hot slick spurts between his fingers, coating his cock in my semen.