Suddenly Beck: (A Hot & Sweet MM Romance Series) (Belong to Me Book 1)

by Vawn Cassidy

  ‘Pia,’ he breathes, and the look on his face is almost painful to witness. Hopeless love and longing.

  She takes a hesitate half step toward him and smiles, and he must see something in that smile because he rushes toward her and wraps her in his arms tightly. It’s not a hey, happy to see you hug, it’s a tight, lung crushing, oh my god, you’ve just come back from war alive kind of hug, and I feel almost like a voyeur for intruding on such a private moment between them.

  The air is heavy with so much unsaid between them, but even I can feel the love they have for each other. I can see it in Pia’s face, in the way she tilted her head up against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ he whispers hoarsely.

  ‘You disappeared without a trace.’ She pulls back to gaze at him, her serious blue eyes searching his. ‘I know that we’ve drifted apart these last few years, but did you really think I wouldn’t come looking for you? That I wouldn’t worry?’

  ‘I didn’t think...’ His voice breaks slightly.

  ‘Nat.’ She frowns. ‘I know things between us haven’t been great but that wasn’t your fault, it was mine.’

  ‘No, it was both of us.’ He strokes her cheek gently, the way he has with me so many times.

  Pia wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, and as she glances over to me, her eyes no longer polite and distant but curious.

  ‘Pia,’ Nat says shyly as he pulls her closer to me. ‘I want you to meet my…’ He pauses as he looks at me, biting his lip, not quite sure what label to attach to a casual summer fling that’s turning out to be not so casual. I know the word boyfriend is hovering on his lips, but before I can say anything, he gives me the most beautiful smile. ‘Beck,’ he finishes. ‘This is my Beck.’

  Then he leans in and kisses me full on the mouth so Pia can be in no doubt whatsoever as to the nature of our relationship. Something lovely and warm in my chest unfurls and rolls over, and my stomach trembles.

  He’s just claimed me right there in front of his sister, the one person in the world, other than their old cook Carmella, that he loves. No embarrassment or shame. He just announced it as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him, and just like that, I dive headfirst off that cliff.

  Bloody hell, I’m in love with Nathan Elliott.

  Chapter Twenty

  Nat

  Family reunions are quite often overrated and overdue, but sometimes they can surprise the hell out of you.

  I dart up the stairs quickly to get dressed while Beck takes Pia into the kitchen. My mind rushing a mile a minute. I have so many questions. How did she find me? Does our father know where I am? Why did she come here? Does she still love me?’ What’s going on with her and her husband?’

  My head’s still pounding from the hangover, but I grab some of Beck’s clothes and dress quickly. I really am going to have to stop stealing all his clothes, that or offer to do some laundry for him. I can’t really leave my own clothes over here; we’ve only just progressed to me spending the whole night here, and that was mostly because I was too drunk to go anywhere. I also can’t put my clothes back on from yesterday as they’re my chef whites and they stink of food.

  I hurry down the stairs to find Pia sat comfortably at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in one hand and Ursula sat at her feet, pressed against her legs and staring up at my sister adoringly as Pia strokes her slowly.

  ‘I’m afraid you’ve been replaced.’ Beck hands me a glass of water and some pills, which I take gratefully before he switches the glass of water out of my hand and hands me a coffee. God, this man. I’ve never had anyone take care of me the way Beck does, and it’s almost an afterthought with him. He’s not even consciously aware of it, or how much it means to me.

  I give him a warm smile and glance down at Ursula, traitor, I mouth to her, and she just bangs her tails happily on the floor.

  ‘She just knows us girls have to stick together.’ Pia smiles as she continues to stroke Ursula’s ears.

  I sip the coffee and groan, ‘Oh, this is good.’ I glance around the kitchen suspiciously and sure enough there is an expensive, brand new coffee machine tucked in the corner, and looking woefully out of place in the mishmash of varying decades of decor.

  ‘You got a coffee machine?’ I say in surprise.

  ‘Yeah, well.’ Beck shrugs. ‘I know how grouchy you get when you don’t have decent coffee.’

  ‘You got it for me?’ I smile softly.

  He shrugs again. ‘It’s not a big deal.’

  I know that brand of coffee maker because I have one back in London, and I know it sure as hell is a big deal.

  ‘Thank you.’ I lean over and kiss him.

  I look up to find my sister watching me curiously.

  ‘Yeah, so um.’ I clear my throat and sip my coffee. ‘I’m gay, by the way.’

  She laughs softly, and it warms my stomach. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anything but distance and numbness on her face.

  ‘Oh, Nat,’ she says gently. ‘I’m glad you’ve finally admitted it but I’ve always known you were.’

  I pause with my mug halfway to my lips. ‘You have?’

  ‘Of course,’ she replies. ‘Putting aside your weird obsession with Harry Styles, it always astounded me that what was so obvious to me was incomprehensible to the rest of the family. But then again, I always saw the real you, they only saw the version of you that they wanted.’

  My heart is being squeezed in my chest and my stomach is rolling over uncomfortably with too many messy emotions to sort through when I think about the rest of our family.

  ‘I went to an Aquarium,’ I blurt out not knowing what else to say.

  ‘Oh.’ Her brows go up, and her mouth forms a little elegant ‘o’. ‘Did you see an octopus?’

  ‘Yeah.’ I smile fondly at her. She always had a thing about Octopi. She said they were woefully misunderstood creatures. ‘I saw baby turtles too.’

  ‘Aww.’ She pouts wistfully. ‘The closest I’ve got to turtles were the ones stamped on the napkins at a Save the Oceans charity luncheon last year, and it was boring as hell. It’s a good job they weren’t serving soup, or I might have put my head in the bowl and drowned myself.’

  I look over as Beck starts chuckling into his mug.

  ‘What?’ I ask.

  ‘Nothing.’ He grins. ‘It’s that, she really is just the girl version of you.’

  I shoot him a smile and turn back to my sister. ‘How did you find me?’ I ask curiously.

  She reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone, scrolling through the screens, she holds it up and shows me a picture. It was taken in the restaurant a few weeks back after the big re-opening. I’m standing behind the grill turning lobsters with Sully’s Seafood Bar & Grill emblazoned across the breast of my chef whites. Juni took the picture and posted it to all the restaurant social media accounts, but she also tagged me in it, so it automatically linked it to my old Facebook account, which I’d forgotten about as I haven’t used it since Uni.

  ‘I was keeping an eye on your social media,’ she admits as she looks up at me with those massive blue eyes. ‘I was worried about you. No one knew where you were, and you hadn’t contacted anyone. I would’ve gone to the police straightaway if it hadn’t been for the email you sent saying you were leaving of your own free will. Thanks for that by the way.’ She scowls. ‘Didn’t I deserve at least a phone call? If it hadn’t had been for that photo popping up on Facebook, I was about to hire a private investigator.’

  ‘I’m sorry Pia.’ My gaze softens when I see how concerned she is. ‘I didn’t think that…’

  ‘What?’ she snaps. ‘Didn’t think I cared? Or just didn’t think?’

  ‘Both?’ I reply with a wince.

  ‘Did you think I wouldn’t understand?’ She frowns; her eyes filled with hurt. ‘I know why you left, Nat.’

  I stiffen slightly, wondering just how much she’ll reveal in front of Beck.

&
nbsp; ‘Do they know where I am?’ I swallow tightly, feeling the slightly sick and panicky feeling churning in my belly and sitting heavily on top of the sheer amount of whiskey I drank last night.

  ‘No.’ Pia shakes her head. ‘Mother is in Monte Carlo or somewhere, I don’t know I lose track sometimes. You know what she’s like, she probably hasn’t even noticed you’re gone. She never checks her emails.’

  ‘What about Father?’

  She shakes her head. ‘He’s a dinosaur and doesn’t do social media. I can’t guarantee someone else isn’t going to spot it and tell him, but for now, he doesn’t know where you are.’

  I exhale the breath I didn’t realise I was holding and glance at Beck to find him watching me with an unreadable expression.

  ‘I’m sorry, Pia,’ I tell her genuinely. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you; it wasn’t because I didn’t want to.’

  ‘Then why?’

  ‘I don’t know. I guess we just grew apart, and I didn’t know how to bridge the gap.’

  We sit staring at each other until I hear the clank as Beck puts his mug into the sink.

  ‘I’m going to take a shower and get dressed.’ He runs his hand down my arm comfortingly, and I know he’s trying to give me time alone with my sister. ‘Why don’t you take Pia for a walk along the beach and get some fresh air. I’ll come and find you guys in a while.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I mutter as he gives Pia a smile and disappears.

  ‘He’s gorgeous,’ Pia remarks.

  ‘Yes, he is,’ I mumble, my cheeks flushing with pleasure at the thought that he’s all mine, at least for now. ‘Would you like to take a walk with me?’ I ask hopefully.

  ‘I’d like that.’ She nods.

  I place the mugs in the sink and glance at the new coffee machine again, feeling a warm glow settle somewhere behind my ribs.

  We head outside, and Pia pauses for a moment to stare out across the headland.

  ‘It’s really beautiful here, Nat,’ she murmurs, her eyes lost in thought before turning to look at me. ‘Why here?’

  ‘It was an accident believe it or not.’ I offer her my arm as we walk out the little white gate and head down the trail along the bluffs. There’s no way Pia will be able to take the cliff path down to the beach in those heels, so we may as well detour past the B&B and down to the dunes.

  ‘An accident?’

  ‘I didn’t want to get on a plane, I didn’t want to go abroad,’ I tell her as we walk comfortably along the bluffs. ‘I ended up at Paddington, but when I got there, I didn’t know where I wanted to go. I tossed a coin and decided to head South. The next train leaving was for Penzance, so I got on it, but the weather was awful that day, it brought down a tree on the tracks outside of Truro. They put on a replacement bus service, but I got on the wrong bus and ended up here.’

  ‘How did you meet Beck?’

  ‘How did I meet Beck.’ I grin in remembrance. ‘He saved my life.’

  ‘He… wait, what?’ She frowns.

  ‘The day I arrived there was a storm, and I went down to the beach and got too close to the water’s edge. A wave caught me and dragged me under. Beck was walking Ursula on the beach. He also happens to be a volunteer lifeguard. He dived in and pulled me out.’

  ‘Oh my god, Nat, only you.’ She rolls her eyes.

  ‘Tell me about it, but Mel says everything happens for a reason.’

  ‘Mel?’

  ‘Beck’s mum, she owns the restaurant where I work. It was her and her husband Sully’s until he passed away unexpectedly last year.’

  ‘That’s sad,’ she mutters. ‘You’re a chef now?’

  I nod smiling widely. ‘Yep, best seafood tacos in the bay apparently.’

  ‘I’m not surprised.’ Pia shakes her head. ‘You were always surgically attached to Carmella, and not just because she was our mother substitute. You always loved cooking.’

  ‘I do,’ I say contemplatively. ‘I hated working at Elliott, Fenton & Hartley.’

  ‘I know.’ She stares at me. ‘You look happy.’

  ‘I am happy.’ I gaze down at her. ‘There’s something about this place.’ I sigh in contentment. ‘I can’t explain it.’

  ‘Maybe it’s the people?’

  ‘I think it’s both.’ I nod as I see the B&B come into view and spy two familiar figures.

  ‘Molly!’ I call out and wave as they approach. Beside her is a large man in khaki shorts, a checked, short-sleeve shirt, and socks and sandals, bless him. ‘Bernard!’ I grin glancing down at his suitcase, which he’s wheeling along behind him. ‘Oh my god, Molly, please tell me this isn’t a prison break?’

  ‘Damn well is, lad,’ Bernard chortles loudly. ‘My daughter wanted me to wear a cardigan for heaven’s sake. Because, and I quote, ‘my skin is getting very thin these days,’ well, so is my bloody patience, it’s thirty degrees! So, I’ve taken a room at the delectable Ms Molly’s.’

  ‘Molly.’ I turn to her in mock seriousness. ‘You were supposed to give him some pointers not actively participate in his rebellion.’

  ‘You know me, Nat, Viva La revolution! I won’t stop until all my people are free from their over-bearing offspring.’ She laughs delightedly as her gaze drops on Pia, ‘And who do we have here?’

  ‘Molly, Bernard, this is my sister Pia,’ I introduce her with a wide smile.

  ‘How lovely,’ Molly coos reaching out and hugging my sister, who looks rather startled. ‘Well, aren’t you pretty?’ She pats her cheeks in a very grandmotherly way. ‘Just like your brother. Why you could be twins.’

  ‘Uh, thank you,’ Pia replies.

  ‘Come on, Bernard.’ Molly pats his arm mischievously. ‘Let’s get you settled, and then there’s a game of senior’s bingo on at the community hall.’

  They stare at each other for a second and then burst out laughing uproariously before waving and heading toward the B&B.

  ‘I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Nat.’ Bea moves along the fence as she waters her petunias, glancing at her mother’s retreating back with a small indulgent smile. ‘That’s all your fault.’

  ‘Sorry.’ I grin.

  ‘I wonder why I don’t believe you.’ She shakes her head.

  ‘This is my sister, Pia, by the way.’

  ‘Lovely to meet you, dear.’ Bea smiles at her warmly. ‘Do you need a room?’

  ’Oh, no.’ Pia shakes her head. ‘I’m not staying, just visiting Nat.’

  ‘Well, then.’ Bea nods. ‘Make sure you stop by the cupcake shop. Colin’s cupcakes are to die for, and they’re worth the trip to the bay alone. Oh and, Nat, I stopped by Sully’s last night, the Grilled Bream was a delight.’

  ‘Thanks, Bea.’ I beam, waving goodbye to her as we start down the hill.

  ‘Hey, Nat.’ Lila rushes past. ‘Tell Juni I’ll meet her at eight.’

  ‘Tell her yourself,’ I yell. ‘I’m not your messenger.’

  ‘Great tacos by the way!’ she calls over her shoulder as she rushes off.

  ‘Do you know everyone here?’ Pia asks curiously as a couple of regulars from the restaurant wave a friendly greeting on their way past.

  ‘Not everyone.’ I shrug. ‘But the bay’s a bit like that. I was really freaked out the first time I went out for a walk and everyone kept smiling and wishing me a good morning.’

  ‘Wishing you a good morning? My god, Nat,’ she laughs. ‘Whatever next?’

  ‘I know, right?’ I chuckle, glancing down at her happily. ‘I’m really glad you’re here.’

  ‘Me too.’ She sighs. ‘I was so worried about you, Nat.’

  ‘Well, you don’t need to worry anymore, I’m okay, and I’m happy,’ I tell her as we reach the edge of the grassy dunes.

  ‘Are you though?’ She stops and looks at me.

  ‘Yes,’ I tell her sincerely, and I realise I really am. ‘I love the bay as much as I love the people. It’s beautiful here, and I have my dream job, real friends, I’m part of a community and I have a…’

>   ‘Beck,’ she supplies helpfully.

  ‘Yeah.’ I nod with a smile.

  ‘Nat, does he know about Grace?’ she says seriously.

  I stare at her quietly.

  ‘Nat.’ She sighs as she shakes her head. ‘If you’re serious about building a life here with him, he needs to know the truth about what really happened the day you left.’

  ‘I’m not building a life with him,’ I say, but it sounds hollow to my ears. ‘It’s not like that.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ she replies pointedly.

  ‘No, I… he, he doesn’t want a relationship,’ I tell her quietly.

  ‘Nat.’ Her eyes soften as she looks at me.

  ‘What?’ I frown.

  ‘Sweetie, the man isn’t going to drop two grand on a coffee machine if he’s just dicking around with you.’

  ‘But…’ I break off not really sure what to say.

  ‘Look, he probably doesn’t have things any more figured out than you do, just be honest with him.’

  ‘I will tell him.’ I sigh. ‘I just… when the time is right.’

  ‘Don’t leave it too long, Nat,’ she warns. ‘Sometimes secrets have a way of coming back to bite.’

  ‘Okay, fine,’ I tell her. ‘Now lose the shoes or you’ll break your ankle on the sand.’

  I watch as she pulls them off one by one and holds them by the skinny heels as we walk hand in hand down to the beach.

  ‘Hey, Nat!’ Georgie waves from the surf school.

  ‘Hey, Georgie.’ We walk over to her as she leans over the wooden railing.

  ‘This your sister? She looks like you.’

  ‘Pia, Georgie,’ I introduce them.

  ‘I like your hair.’ Pia smiles up at her, staring at the vibrant blue and green locks.

  ‘Thanks.’ She grins. ‘Nat, we got a new board in for you to try. I know Beck’s progressed you up to a nine six, but this one’s better than the one you were using.’

  ‘Thanks, Georgie.’ I nod.

  ‘You surf?’ Pia blinks incredulously.