by Tijan
I had to stop this conversation.
I didn’t want Nate alarmed. I didn’t want him calling our parents.
“You’re going to be alone the day Owen would’ve graduated, aren’t you?”
It was too late. He was going to call them.
“Don’t say anything. Please.”
“Aspen.”
I could hear his disapproval, but even worse, I heard his pity.
I couldn’t stand his pity.
“Please. If you call Mom and Dad, they’ll come back. I don’t want them to do that. It’s fine.”
“No, they won’t. They’ll understand.”
He truly didn’t know. That was okay, though. That was better.
“You don’t get it, Nate. I can’t go there.” I couldn’t sit in those chairs. “I can’t wait for the moment when they would’ve called his name.” When instead they’ll call mine.
He was quiet for a long, long time.
I waited, scarcely able to breathe.
“Okay,” he finally said.
My hands shook. My arms trembled. My knees were boneless.
“Thank you.”
“What are you going to do instead? You shouldn’t be alone, Aspen. I get not wanting Mom and Dad there, but what about your older brother? I can fly back. I can come early. It’s no problem. I have a buddy I can see in LA during the week too.”
I opened my mouth to tell him no, but then I thought about it. Blaise would be graduating that day. Blaise was popular. There’d be parties galore for him.
If Nate were here with me, Blaise could go without me, and he could party. He could come to me that night.
So, why not? “That actually sounds good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I felt tears on my cheeks. “I’ll see you on Sunday?”
“I’ll book a flight and let you know when I’m arriving. We’ll do brother-sister stuff all day. Sounds good?”
“Sounds great.”
“Okay. Love you, Aspen. I mean that.” Another beat. “We should do these calls more.”
“Agreed.” I smiled, and we hung up not long after that.
Well, go me. This was progress.
I think…
26
Blaise
It was the end of the day, and I’d just turned in my last project.
Tomorrow was a skip day for all seniors, so we were done. I never kept anything in my locker except what I needed for class, and all those notebooks had been tossed. I could grab a pen and not come back till Sunday for graduation.
“Heard about your showdown with Daniels.” Zeke fell against the locker next to mine.
I frowned at it, realizing someone must’ve used it, but I’d never seen them. Then a guy stopped, looked at Zeke, and turned to go.
“Hey,” I called after him.
I didn’t know the guy. He was smaller, and wearing the old uniform, though it wasn’t mandatory anymore. He looked at me, but didn’t come over.
I gestured to Zeke. “That your locker?”
The guy swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Yeah.”
“You need in there?”
“Uh...” He tugged at his collar. “Yeah.”
I smacked Zeke on the shoulder. “Move. The guy needs to get into his locker.”
Zeke’s eyebrows rose, but he moved to my other side. He leaned around me as the guy cautiously came forward to open his locker.
“Sorry. I didn’t know.”
The guy stared a moment before stammering, “Yeah. Cool. Yeah.” Then he ducked inside his locker. He grabbed two things and dropped one of them. He scooped to grab it, stuffing it into his pocket before I could see what it was, and slammed his locker shut.
He started off, but stepped back. “Hey. Nice knowing you. You’re going to Cain next year?”
I frowned. “What? No. I’m going to Columbia.”
He seemed confused by that. “Really?”
“Uh. Yeah?”
He shrugged. “Okay. Well, have a good one then.”
Zeke and I watched him go. He glanced back over his shoulder a time or two, his eyes getting big until he put on a burst of speed and turned the corner.
“That’s the first time you’ve seen him all semester, isn’t it?” Zeke said.
“Yep.”
He barked out a laugh. “Classic.” He punched me in the arm. “Columbia? For real? Fucking come to Cain. Everyone’s going to be there.”
“Everyone? If you’re hoping to entice me, you’re falling short.”
“Oh.” He fell silent. “Well, I’ll be there. Why Columbia, though? Who’s there?”
Well, shit. I hadn’t thought about it until now, but that could be the reason Griffith was in town. “Non-bio dad has roots there. I was accepted last year. I’m a legacy for his fraternity too.”
Columbia was one of the best schools in the nation, but Cain wasn’t bad either. It was a D1 school like Georgetown.
“I thought you were going to Grant West.”
“Nah. Cain all the way.” Zeke ducked his head a little, glancing away.
If my best friend had ever been self-conscious, I was thinking this was it. He looked five.
He shrugged, shifting on his feet. “You know my mancrush on Mason Kade. Gotta follow in his footsteps.” His head jerked up and he yelled, “Strandling! What the fuck, man?”
Brian passed our hall, talking to a girl. He looked up and gave us a nod. Saying something to the girl, he motioned toward us, and they both raised a hand, separating.
“Who was that?” Zeke asked as Brian approached. “You going to bring her to the party tonight?” He turned to me. “Party tonight. That’s why I came over. It’s not at my house. We’re trying out a new place. You going to bring your woman?”
I ignored his question, eyeing Brian. “Hey, man.”
Brian had steered clear of me since our throw-down, but he nodded back. “Hey. Uh, about the—”
Zeke was all smiles, grabbing Brian’s shoulder and squeezing it. He started to do the same to me, got a look, and lowered his hand. “It’s all good. Water under the bridge.”
Brian looked at him. “What I was going to say, is yeah. It’s all good. Sorry I was a dick. Sorry I’ve been a dick, like, all year.”
Zeke’s head inched back. “Whoa. What’s got into you? That’s a different tune than you were singing last week.”
Brian looked down before rolling his shoulders up and back. “What do you want me to say? I was pissed, but it’s the last day. Things are different.”
He was out of Zeke’s shadow.
“You and Branston are heading to Seattle, right?” I asked.
“Yeah. Our grandfather donates heavily, so we got two spots easy. There’s an Alpha Mu chapter up there. We had a call from them. They dropped your name, said you were joining their chapter in New York?”
I felt a strangled laugh come up my throat.
“Why’d they bring my name up?”
He seemed nervous, grabbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know. He knows one of the guys in your house. They were having a conversation and got to talking about legacies.”
“But why’d my name come up?”
Brian avoided my gaze.
“Dude, just say it.”
Zeke pointed at me with his thumb. “He really is all about the honesty. Be as blunt as you can, and he’ll probably want to hump you.”
I laughed. “Just say it.”
He exhaled. “Okay. There’s talk about your dad—”
Zeke coughed. “Non-bio dad. Or Daddy Dickhead. Either term works.”
“—your non-bio dad and how he’s got some controversy heading his way. Rumor is that twelve women are coming forward in a lawsuit against him.”
“You serious?” I wasn’t surprised. Note that.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, man.”
Zeke frowned at him. “Lawsuit about what?”
“Sexual shit.” Brian’s eyes darted to me. “I guess
it’s bad, and they’re considering dropping you.”
I could follow the bouncing ball. “Shit.” I shook my head. “They’re trying to push me off on another house, aren’t they?”
Brian shrugged again. “I don’t know. They asked me about you. I told them you’re not like that. I vouched for you, if you wanted—”
No. I knew. I so knew.
I turned to Zeke. “Start looking for a house.”
He stared at me. One blink. Then he smiled. “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “No fucking way am I dealing with that asshole’s problems.”
“I was going to pledge. You?”
I saw all the plans Zeke was making. We’d be fraternity brothers, roommates, the whole nine yards. “No.”
“What?” His smile fell.
“That was my plan last year, but not now. I’m not going the fraternity way.”
“But…” Zeke swallowed. “We can’t be roommates then.”
“Dude.”
He looked like he was about to cry.
I patted him on the shoulder, holding it there a second. “It’ll be fine. I can get my own place.”
“Yeah, but…”
“You gotta make sure you can get in the school,” Brian said.
I gave him a cocky smirk. I wasn’t valedictorian or salutatorian, but I was in the top seven. Plus, Cain had already reached out, offering a soccer scholarship. I’d just said no because of my non-bio dad’s history with Columbia. Those plans had all been made before the divorce, before everything, and I hadn’t thought to change any of it.
I hadn’t thought much about next year.
I liked Cain. I felt good about the decision.
“Wait. Where’s your girl going next year?” Zeke asked.
Oh.
Maybe not?
I was driving to Aspen’s after school when my phone rang.
The ring came through my sound system, and I glanced down.
Marie calling.
I hadn’t been looking forward to this call, but I’d assumed it was coming. I’d been dodging the house all week while non-bio was there, and graduation was in three days.
I hit accept. “Hey, Mom.”
“I want your ass home now. Enough of this. I’m done, Blaise. Do you hear me? Done!”
“Did he tell you about the lawsuit coming against him?”
She was silent.
A full five seconds, and then a sniffle. “What are you talking about?”
I gritted my teeth. “Is he there right now?”
She was silent again.
“Am I on speaker?” I turned the wheel, heading north.
“No,” she said tightly.
“Then walk away from him. Pretend to hang up and go to the bathroom.”
It sucked that we had to lie like this. He’d helped raise me all my life. She said he’d always known about me, that I wasn’t his son, but he’d chosen to marry her anyway. He chose to adopt me. Then he used her money, invested it well, and hit it big with a product. He moved east, taking us with him, and after that, our lives blurred.
I grew up.
Sports. Parties. Privilege. Everything that life entailed.
Until he derailed it. Until he got caught. It wasn’t even that he cheated, because I knew he’d cheated long before she caught him. She knew too. I was the one who told her, but she hadn’t believed me. She hadn’t wanted to believe me, and I knew she felt guilty about that. It was the reason I got away with so much shit, but my mom wasn’t a bad mom. She was just caught up in her own guilt, her own shame, an ex that had crushed her spirit, and the potential for a new family, because Stephen was a good guy.
He was also a fucking patient guy, but then again, I’d not been around. I didn’t know how he’d been handling having Griffith at the house all week.
I heard her saying, “Okay. See you soon. Love you, honey.” A shuffling sound.
Static.
Her voice from a distance. “I have to pee.”
He said something.
I gripped the steering wheel, hearing his tone. I couldn’t make out the words, but he was griping about something.
“I know. I will,” my mom said. “Hold on.”
More static.
More shuffling sounds.
The sound of a door squeaking. A click, then a buzzing.
Her voice came back, hushed, but clearer. “What lawsuit?”
I told her about my conversation with Brian. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
She hadn’t interrupted, not once. She’d always been good like that. She’d listened through the whole spiel, and now there was silence, only sniffling coming from her end.
God. I couldn’t— I saw a gas station and swung in, parking at the far end and turning the engine off. I hit the lights and slumped back in my seat.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” It was worth repeating.
“Twelve women?” Her voice sounded so tiny, strangled.
“That’s what he said.” I pulled the keys out and held them in my hand.
She cursed softly into the phone. “You know if that many women are coming out at once, there are so many more who haven’t come forward. This is going to be—”
“No, Mom.” A knot was in my throat. I shoved it down. “We don’t live out there anymore. We don’t run in those circles. You are not to blame for his mistakes.”
“He asked about money. Jesus Christ! Money, Blaise. That’s why he’s here.”
Yeah…
“I’m going to—I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I hate him. I shouldn’t be saying this to you. You’re our son—” More sniffles. “I’m so sorry, Blaise. I kept you for myself all these years.”
I sucked in my breath.
Jesus. Now she said this?
“I lied—“
I couldn’t. One confrontation at a time.
“Mom!” I stopped playing with my keys. “I am not his son. I am your son. I’m not his. I know you see the good in him and always have, but you need to see him clearly. Once and for all, Mom. Please.”
I waited.
More sniffling, but she was listening.
I wanted to break him, bone by bone. I wanted to mop the floor with him, using his body to push all of his blood to the drain, and then I wanted to drag him outside and leave him there to rot. But I wanted to get through to my mom first.
It was pivotal.
“He married you for money, and he got lucky, hitting it big. But, Mom, Marie, he was never a good husband or a good father to me. Ever. He’s cheated on you since I can remember. My friends told stories about their moms having fights with their dads because of him. That was in fifth grade! He’s never come to any of my games. He only cares when I don’t have straight As. He gave me one talk when I was younger, and that was to keep my dick clean, always use condoms, and ask their ages. That’s the only fathering he’s ever done with me, and I know it’s because you made him. I heard you arguing.”
“You did?”
I closed my eyes. She was hurting. That meant I was hurting.
I lowered my head. “Yeah, Mom. I always heard you guys fighting.”
“Oh, Blaise. Honey.”
“Mom…” I had to ask. I couldn’t tell her what to do. She was my mother, but Marie always did what she thought was best, whether it was the right thing or not. “What do you want to do?”
Her answer came back swift and heated. “I want him out! Now! I want to march back there, take a shovel, and make my kitchen red.”
I was almost proud, my chest swelling. I also knew where I’d inherited the violent streak from. “Mom, let me call Stephen.”
“No, Blaise! Sweetie, this isn’t for you to handle. I’ll handle your fath—I’ll handle my ex-husband.”
I paused, debating, and then I lied. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. You said you’ll handle it. I trust you.”
Totally lying.
“Oh. Um...okay?” She was silent a moment. “Wait. Y
ou’re done with school, aren’t you? Wasn’t it your last day today?”
“My last project, yeah.”
“Are you celebrating with Zeke tonight?”
I hadn’t told her about Aspen. Now was a good time to do so, but it didn’t feel right. She couldn’t afford to be distracted from dealing with Griffith and getting him out of the house, out of her life.
“Yeah, I’m heading to his house now.”
“Okay. Can we, uh, I’d like to celebrate the graduations—all three of you kids. Your brother and sister, and yours. Do you think we could, maybe, have a family dinner?”
I hesitated. “Let’s talk this weekend about it.”
“Okay. Yeah. Okay.” She sounded a bit more upbeat. “I love you, honey. So much.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
She took another moment, and I knew she was gathering her strength. Once she hung up, I dialed my real father for the first time ever.
He answered right away. “Blaise! Hi. Is everything okay?”
I heard voices where he was, and I knew he wasn’t at my mom’s house.
“The asshole who adopted me has been at our house all week.”
“What?”
Good, and not good. He didn’t sound like he knew. That meant my mom hadn’t told him, or told him the whole truth.
She was good at that.
I was blowing her up, but I didn’t care. “He’s claiming to be there about me, but he’s not. I’m not going to tell you the real reason, that’s for her to tell you, but my mom needs help. I can’t go there. I go there, and I will put him in the hospital. I’ll give him a reason to sue us or arrest me.” I really wanted to do that. I wanted it so bad. “He needs to get out of that house and away from her permanently. He needs—”
“Blaise.”
Fuck. He sounded calm. Why was he calm?
“I’m already on my way. Don’t worry. I will take care of this.”
Then he hung up, and I sat there wondering if I’d done the right thing or not.
A second later, my phone rang again. It was an unknown number.
I hit accept. “Yeah?”
Cross’ voice came over the speaker. “My dad just took a call from you and tore out of the restaurant. What’s going on?”
I was silent.
Tell him? He’d go there, and fuck, but I didn’t want him to deal with it. That was my family, not his. I didn’t go to his house. I didn’t get involved with his mom.