by Tijan
I knew what she was asking. She wanted to know why we hadn’t been having sex the last couple weeks.
I didn’t want to talk about it. I hauled a shirt over my head, yanked it down, and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I started for the door.
“Oh no.” She raced for it, getting there fast.
I glared at her, but she was cute. Hella cute.
She stuck her lip out, trying not to smile at me, her hands on her hips. In a tank top, no bra, and cute shorts with a bow on them, she was not giving me the intimidating look I knew she was trying for.
I reached down, slid my hand inside her shirt, and cupped her breast. She gasped, her eyes closing, and I leaned into her. She pushed back against the door, and I nuzzled her just under her chin. I’d learned it was the spot I liked the best. If I kissed her at just the right angle, her entire body would shiver in my arms.
I murmured over her neck. “Knowing my mom, she probably has an entire spread upstairs waiting for us—complete with homemade lattes and gourmet cappuccino, if that’s a thing.”
She shivered, just as I knew she would, but she pushed me away. “No. I want to know.”
I sighed. “Aspen.”
“Blaise.” She grabbed my chin, yanking me down to look at her.
There was a lot of glaring.
“I want to know,” she said again. “Honesty—I deserve that, and you know it.”
Damn. She was right. But I still didn’t want to.
I did anyway. “We’re moving fast, and you only told me two weeks ago how old you really are.”
My words even sounded stilted to me.
Her hand fell, and I saw the hurt flare in her eyes as she looked away.
“Hey.”
She stepped out from my arms, ducking behind me.
I whirled with her. “Hey.”
She hugged herself. “You weren’t thinking like that when you touched me last night and this morning.”
“I’m a guy, but I’m trying here. I’m trying to be honorable.”
She frowned, her eyebrows pulling together. “Honorable?”
“You’re young. I’m a really big dipshit. I just—I’m too selfish to walk from you, and I’m not going to. But I don’t want to… I don’t know.”
“What?”
Hurt her?
Harm her?
Ruin her?
I felt like I was going to do all three of those things, but I couldn’t deny her. Never that. That’d be like ripping my own heart out.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing here. For once in my life.”
Her eyes narrowed. She chewed at her lip. I hated when she did that, because then I wanted to chew at her lip. She shook her head, slowly. “Well, stop. That’s stupid.”
I laughed. “That’s stupid? Trying to do the right thing?”
“Yeah.” Her hands came to my waist and her fingers tucked into my jeans. “We’re together, right?”
“Fuck yeah.” This girl had such power over me. I cupped the back of her neck, unable to hold back the surge of possession I felt. She was mine. Mine to protect. Mine to care for. All mine.
A smug-but-happy look pulled at her mouth, and her eyes twinkled. “Then stop with this bullshit of holding back from me. I don’t like it. I actually detest it.”
I lifted my head. “You detest it?”
“I like your honesty. The problem is you think being honest is being mean. You don’t get that being honest is actually being kind. If someone else doesn’t want that truth, that’s on them. That’s not me. I respect honesty, whether it hurts or not. Be honest with me. Don’t change because you assume I can’t handle it.”
Crap. She was right.
“Okay.” But fuuuck. “Are you sure?”
“Stop.” Her fingers moved deeper in my jeans. “Got it?”
“Got it.”
She yanked me back to her, her mouth already angling up to meet mine.
It was a little longer before we went up to breakfast.
42
Aspen
Later that day, I sat in Blaise’s Wagon, waiting.
That seemed to be the theme for the day.
We went to Zeke’s, and waited.
We drove to the parking lot, and waited.
We waited even longer.
Then we went to a camping place, and waited. Or I waited. Blaise got out, going inside with Zeke and a couple of the other guys. So far eight other vehicles had joined us.
Then Blaise came over with Zeke, and both stared at me long and hard.
“Yeah?” Was the world ending, and they didn’t know how to tell me?
Blaise closed his eyes, tipping his head back.
Zeke’s grin was wide, and he clapped Blaise on the back. “So, your boy and I had a discussion inside. Guess what we decided?”
Blaise’s eyes opened and they were bleak, seriously bleak.
Zeke was loving this. “We rented another camper, for guests.”
“Guests?”
Blaise shook his head, cursing.
“The girls coming with us are bitchy,” Zeke explained. “That’s just how they are, and you’re coming with us, so I talked Blaise into getting some allies. Guess who we invited?”
I waited again. “Who?”
He nudged Blaise, who answered, “My siblings are coming, with their entourages.”
Entourages? “Who are they?”
Zeke pounded Blaise once more on the back before turning to walk away. “This should be fun,” he called over his shoulder. He whistled all the way back to his truck.
Blaise got in, and we waited once again.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“There’s a spot we can go dune buggying not far from here, but Zeke and the guys want to camp. We rented campers for everyone, and now we’re waiting for my brother to show up with his group.”
“You don’t want them to come?”
He shrugged, sighing. “I don’t know. It’s...it’ll make Taz happy, I know that much.”
What was I missing here? “Why would you need allies if these are your friends?”
“For you.”
“What?”
“You mentioned meeting my brother and his friends, remember?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, Bren still has a hard-on for you. Figured you could do to have some backup.”
“Oh.” Warmth spread through me. “You did that for me?”
“Taz and Bren are not actually bad people to hang with. I’m more worried about Cross’ two other friends starting fights. They can be dicks.”
I snorted. “Then they’ll fit right in.”
Blaise grinned at that, and that made me grin back.
We ended up waiting an hour before a large truck pulled in, with another truck beside it. Cross hopped out, heading over to Blaise’s window, and Blaise rolled it down.
Cross stopped, looking past Blaise to me and giving me a nod. “We’re here,” he said. “Bren wants to do this.”
Then four large campers and one smaller one pulled out from behind the main building. Each had its own driver.
Blaise nodded toward them. “We rented one of those for your group. The rest are for us.”
“Okay, but what’s the setup?” Cross watched the campers roll by.
Zeke’s truck started off, picking up the trail behind the last camper. He slowed, saluted us with two fingers, and proceeded forward.
“None of us has the license to drive those things, so their drivers are taking them out. They’ll get them set up. We’ll use ’em for the night or two nights, and they’ll come back to get them. You guys are here for—” Blaise motioned to me. “Thought maybe Taz and your girl wouldn’t mind a camping night with their men?”
Cross’ eyes skimmed over me, narrowing slightly.
It was eerie how similar these two were. Besides their looks, I could see both were smart, both were alphas, and I was pretty sure both were not to be messed with.
Blaise shrugged. “We’ll stop at a store somewhere.”
Cross nodded and let out a silent sigh. “You remember us?” he asked me.
“Hi! Yeah.” I waved.
Blaise’s mouth twitched, but he looked down at the steering wheel.
My greeting had come out a bit too excited. But this was Blaise’s brother, and this was a big deal. A mundo deal. And yeah, he was almost as hot as Blaise. The two together? Lethal.
“You remember my girlfriend? Bren?”
I nodded, trying to keep it cool.
Blaise’s shoulders were starting to shake, just slightly.
“Yeah. Bren. She’s nice.”
Now Cross’ lips were twitching. “Uh-huh. Yeah.”
I just smiled. That seemed the best option here.
“Okay.” Cross stepped back. “We’ll follow you guys, but I can’t guarantee Z and Jordan will play nice.”
Blaise’s eyes darkened. “Just keep to your side of the campsite, yeah?”
Cross’ face grew frosty. He didn’t answer, just walked back to the large truck. He climbed into the backseat, and I got a glimpse of his girlfriend inside.
I sucked in my breath. I’d forgotten how beautiful she was.
Blaise raised his window, eased the Wagon around, and we began to leave the lot. We were the last besides those two other vehicles. The others had followed Zeke.
“Who are Z and Jordan?” I asked.
“My brother’s moron friends.”
I jerked forward. “Wait! I remember them. The shorter one was a dick to me, asked if I had problems or something.”
“What?” Blaise turned to look at me sharply.
Oh, crap.
I felt the air in the truck roll with danger. Tension.
I swallowed, leaning back. A shiver went down my spine. “It was nothing. He just, well, he asked if I had problems socializing, and I do actually. I don’t think he meant it to be mean.” I lowered my voice, “You asked the same thing, Blaise.”
He bit out a hard laugh. “Yeah, but I give a fuck about you.”
He didn’t bring up the topic the rest of the drive, but when we stopped an hour later for provisions, he glared at the shorter guy that got out of the truck with Cross in it.
Zeke noticed too and nudged Blaise. “What’s up?”
“I’ll tell you later,” Blaise said under his breath, moving forward into the store.
Zeke glanced at me in question.
I hesitated. “The shorter one was kinda mean to me once. I might’ve mentioned it without thinking.”
Zeke’s eyes got wide. “Right on. Looks like we’re having a rumble tonight.”
Blaise had disappeared into the store, but I grabbed Zeke’s shirt, holding him back. “What do you mean?” A rumble didn’t sound good. It made my stomach churn. Really not good.
Zeke shook his head, a wry grin on his face. “Yeah, I’m sorry to break this to you, but your boy is protective. He’s going to call out Zellman, but knowing Blaise, he’ll probably try to do it a smart way.”
Oh God. “What does that mean?”
Zeke shrugged. “I don’t have a clue, but don’t worry. Blaise makes everything better. That’s what he’s like deep down. He settles things. It’ll be fine.”
That so didn’t settle me.
43
Blaise
By the time we got to the actual dune buggying site, we didn’t have time to go out.
We pulled in time to camp for the night. That meant we’d stay a second night. That was all good, but even though my brother was set up on the complete opposite side of the campsite, I still felt an itch under my skin.
Every time I saw him, it doubled in size. And it was worse now that I was actually trying to be civil.
Aspen. All this shit was for Aspen.
The dune racing was for us—but the girls, my brother, that was all for her.
As soon as we pulled up, we assigned the campers. Aspen and I got the smaller one since I didn’t want anyone perving on her while she was in bed with me. Bren and Taz came over right away. They followed Aspen toward the camper, but I had a word with Bren before she went in.
Once Taz ducked inside with Aspen, I nodded to where my brother and the other two dipshits stood. “Aspen told me what the pipsqueak said to her in the woods.”
Bren narrowed her eyes. “Pipsqueak? Really?”
I scowled. “If he says one disrespectful thing to her, all bets are off. I’m coming for his ass. You and my brother can lay down against me. I don’t care.”
Her eyes stayed narrowed. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I’m letting you know. That’s all.”
“Fine.”
Taz and Aspen came out, and Bren stepped back from me. I morphed into a nice guy, grabbing Aspen’s hand and tugging her over for a soft kiss. I flashed Bren a warning look before the three of them headed off. My eyes swept the campground and found Cross staring right at me.
I wanted to raise my middle finger.
Stomping down my inner asshole, I kept my hands in my pockets.
I needed a drink.
“Yo.” Zeke came from next door, carrying rum, a bottle of Coke, two cups, and a bag of ice thrown over his shoulder. We had set up a table just outside my camper, and he put everything down. “You look ready to tear your brother’s face off already.”
He began pouring, and I reached around, taking the bag of ice.
I filled one cup, and Zeke rotated them.
I put ice in the already poured cup and set the bag back down.
Zeke took his drink, sitting by the table, and cupped his hand around his mouth. “Conway, you and your pussy friend get to make the fire.”
Conway and Ashlome glared at us.
“What the hell?” Conway threw up a middle finger.
Zeke leaned forward, waving his own. “That’s what you get for doing what you’ve been doing the last two weeks. Like there wasn’t going to be a comeuppance? Fucking crazy if you thought that.”
I loved my best friend. A lot.
Both guys transferred their glares to me before stomping off.
Zeke leaned back, holding his cup up, and I met it with mine.
“Salud.”
Zeke nodded, taking a slurp from his. “You think cops come around with drug dogs?”
I froze. “You didn’t.”
He laughed. “No, but I kinda wish I’d brought something—something soft, you know?”
I could only shake my head. “No way.”
“You used to.”
“That was before I had Aspen.”
He let out a sigh. “Never again?”
My answer was firm. “No way. Not unless she leaves me one day.”
“Shit, B. You’re talking like you’re married.”
Married? No. But I needed her. I knew it. I leaned forward, my drink in hand. “I’m not going to go to a dark place or anything. It isn’t like that.”
“I know. If there’s anyone who could survive the worst of the worst, it’s you.”
“Yeah.” Fucking Griffith. I hated him.
“You talked to your brother at all since that night?” Zeke asked.
I glanced over, not answering.
Zeke was watching their trailer.
The girls were making Aspen laugh.
My chest loosened a little, seeing that.
“It was a good call inviting them,” he noted.
I sucked air through my teeth. Yeah. I hated admitting it, but he was right. I grunted in response.
Zeke laughed. “Yeah. This is going to be a fun night. I’m not even here for the dune racing.”
“Shut up.”
He laughed louder.
I wanted to shove his chair over, but I didn’t. See? I was growing.
After the fire was going, Zeke and Brian got the grills going.
Penny and her girls had helped get the food ready to go, and I was at the table, l
oading up a plate when I glanced back.
Daniels was right behind me.
She had her own plate, with a hot dog on it and nothing else. She never had been a big eater.
“You didn’t have to invite two watchdogs to stand guard over your girlfriend,” she said.
I picked up my drink and headed back toward my camper.
As I sat at my table, Mara followed me. She sat down where Zeke had been sitting earlier, putting her plate on the table.
She wanted to have this talk.
Fine. Let’s talk.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Air escaped her in a burst, and she rolled her eyes. “God. For you to give a damn?”
“I did, before you threatened someone I care about. It stopped then.”
She studied me, a flash of pain tightened her face before she squashed it. She lowered her head. “Yeah. I’m seeing that, but do you really blame me?”
“Yes.”
Her head snapped back up.
I knew I was cold, but she’d threatened Aspen. What’d she expect? “She’s blameless, and you know that. And I never lied to you. I never promised you anything.”
“But if I had slept with someone else, you would’ve stopped touching me.”
I inclined my head. “Yeah, and that was on you to choose. You knew I didn’t want to date you. Before Aspen, I didn’t want to date anyone. I wasn’t lying about that. How you chose to respond is on you.” I lowered my voice. “You’ve been fucking two guys thinking I’ll give a shit about it? That’s stupid and reckless, for you.”
Her face twisted, and she started to cry.
That got me. Regret sliced through me, because I did care about Mara, but I didn’t care enough. That was the problem, and she knew it. She just didn’t want to accept it. But Ashlome and Conway? Neither of those guys was going to make her his girlfriend.
“Mara.” I sighed, but I couldn’t touch her. I wouldn’t, and not just because of Aspen. It was for Mara too.
“I just didn’t—” She stopped.
We’d been friends. We’d been more than friends, but I’d said all I could. The rest was for her to figure out. There was physical cheating, and there was emotional cheating. Letting Mara lean on me now would be giving her something that should only be Aspen’s. And it would also only prolong her pain. This conversation was done, and she sensed it, looking up at me.