The Case of the Klutzy King Charles

by B R Snow

  “No, she didn’t,” he said, shaking his head. “After we spoke about it on Christmas Day, I had the staff take another look. We probably should have pressed her for more details about her identity, but she was totally coherent when we discharged her, and she paid her bill in cash. The staff didn’t think it was that important. And since it was Christmas and she made it very clear she needed to get somewhere, they did everything they could to accommodate her.”

  “Okay,” I said, exhaling loudly. “I guess I’ll just have to keep looking.”

  “I wish I could help you, Suzy,” he said, again staring out at the ocean. “So, my son was completely stoned?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. But I have to say that it didn’t seem to affect his gaming skills,” I said, laughing.

  “What a waste of a life,” he said, managing a sad shake of his head.

  “Has he always had an interest in, what do I call it, the plight of the workers?” I said, placing my elbows on the table and leaning forward.

  “No, of course not,” he said, frowning. “That particular scam came to him later in life.”

  “Scam?”

  “He figured out that having money and posing as a radical was a great way to pick up women,” he said. “Frederick memorized and began reciting famous revolutionary quotes to impressionable young girls who were down here on vacation. And the fact that he was able to afford a lot of good drugs made his job that much easier. Then he got the idea to start publishing that rag sheet to give himself some additional street-cred. The fact that it drives me crazy and is a constant source of embarrassment to many of my friends was just icing on the cake for him.”

  “Frederick mentioned that you made your fortune in real estate,” I said.

  “He was in a chatty mood, wasn’t he?” Dr. Couch said, grinning at me. “Yes, I’ve been very fortunate. Years ago, I was looking for some investment opportunities, and I happened to meet Gerald and your mother along with a few other investors.”

  “I take it this was before Gerald got into politics?”

  “Oh, way before. Back then, Gerald was just another entrepreneur looking to hit it big,” he said. “And he did. Fortunately, he brought a lot of us along with him for the ride.”

  “I see,” I said, trying to juggle several thoughts. “Are you still active in that world?”

  “Actually, I’ve been looking for a way to cut back,” he said, shrugging. “I’m dealing with some health issues at the moment, and my doctor wants me to eliminate as much stress as possible.”

  “Your doctor,” I said, smiling. “That’s funny. It’s sort of like lawyers trying to represent themselves, right?”

  “Exactly,” he said, nodding. “And there’s a word for doctors who try to perform self-diagnosis.”

  “Dead?”

  “Your mother was right,” he said with a booming laugh. “Nothing gets past you.”

  “What sort of health problems are you dealing with?”

  “I have a bad heart,” he said, shrugging.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Does Frederick know?”

  “No, and there’s no point telling him. I’m afraid he doesn’t believe I even have one.”

  “I can’t imagine what that must be like,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t know what I’d do without my mother.”

  “I’ve gotten used to the idea,” he said, again staring out at the ocean.

  “Do you have any other family members around?”

  “No, just Frederick. My plan has always been to leave everything to him when I’m gone.”

  “And that’s changed?”

  He grabbed his beer off the table and stood.

  “Let’s say that it remains to be seen how much I’ll be leaving him and leave it at that.” He glanced over at the table where my mother was holding court. “I should head over there and say hello.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear the news about your health, Dr. Couch,” I said, getting up from my chair. “I hope it all eventually works out.”

  “Thank you, Suzy. You’re very kind,” he said, waving as he headed off.

  For some reason, my neurons continued to fire as I watched him sit back down and join the conversation at the table. Given everything he’d just told me, I couldn’t imagine what remained to be seen when it came to his son’s inheritance.

  Maybe he was still holding out hope that he and his son might be able to reconcile before his bad ticker finally gave out.

  Maybe he was considering the possibility of leaving everything to charity.

  Then a lightbulb popped, and I visibly flinched.

  Or maybe he didn’t have nearly as much money as everyone assumed he did.

  Chapter 22

  “I understand you’d like to see the list of registered marriages.”

  “Yes.”

  “How far back are we talking about? Six months? Maybe a year?”

  “Well, I was originally thinking 1975, but just to be sure maybe we should go back to 1970.”

  The clerk who worked at the General Registry, the official public records office of the Cayman Islands, blinked and gave me an open-mouth stare. I couldn’t blame her. Even for me, the thought that I might be able to make some progress by identifying marriages that had taken place on Owen Island bordered on insanity. Eventually, she found her voice.

  “You want to see every registered marriage since 1970?”

  “Yes.” I smiled and nodded then remembered my mother’s admonition, instilled in me from a very young age, to always use the magic word. “Please.”

  “You do realize that many of those records pre-date the installment of our computer records system,” the clerk said, cocking her head at me.

  “I did not know that,” I said, shrugging. “But surely they’re all written down somewhere. You must have copies of the marriage certificates, right?”

  “We do,” the clerk, still managing to maintain her cool. “But the really old records are only entered into the computer on an individual basis.”

  “You lost me,” I said with a frown.

  “When we put the computer records system in, we decided to only bring over summary totals of some items. Permits, business licenses, things like that. Old marriage certificates were one of those items. I can tell you how many people got married each year, and I might be able to tell you how many couples each registered Marriage Officer married. But if we need the information about a specific marriage from those days we usually have to go into our paper archives to look for it.”

  “Why would you need information about a specific marriage?”

  “Sometimes it’s needed for a divorce proceeding or a death notice. Occasionally we’ll get a request from overseas when a copy is needed to verify the marriage,” the clerk said. “It could be for any number of reasons.”

  “I see. And why didn’t you just enter them all into the new system when you put it in?” I said.

  “Because we were incredibly busy, often frantic, just trying to get the new system in, and back then, it seemed like a major waste of time,” she said, giving me a tight-lipped smile. “But if I had known all those years ago that you’d be coming in today, I might have decided differently.”

  “There’s no need to get snarky,” I said, frowning.

  “You don’t know the year of the marriage you’re looking for?”

  “No.”

  “Do you know the name of the Marriage Officer who performed the ceremony?”

  “Not a clue,” I said, shaking my head. “What’s a Marriage Officer?”

  “They’re individuals who are registered with the government and approved to perform marriages. Usually, they’re clergy members of local churches, but we do have a handful who aren’t attached to any specific denomination.”

  “I see,” I said with a frown. “It’s a bit more complicated than I imagined.”

  “Yes, and the one you’re looking for is probably on paper and stored in a cardboard box,” she said with a coy smile. “If the marriage
took place after we installed the computer system.”

  “When was that?”

  “I’d have to check to get the actual date, but it was sometime in the early 90’s.”

  “My guess is that the wedding I’m looking for took place before that. But I really can’t be sure,” I said.

  “This wedding?” she said. “Family, friend, friend of the family?”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Nothing like that. It’s pretty much a wild-goose chase at the moment. You know, grasping at straws.”

  “I see.”

  “How long will it take you to go through your archives?”

  “Well, if I got started straight away and dropped everything else I’m supposed to be doing, I could probably get it done in about a week.”

  “But you’re not going to drop everything else, are you?” I said, forcing a small smile.

  “No, I’m not,” she said, shaking her head. “And if the Finance Minister hadn’t called me personally requesting that I speak with you, our conversation would have ended soon after it began.”

  “Sure, sure.”

  “Can I ask you why the Finance Minister made that call?”

  “Well, Gerald sort of owes me a favor,” I said, deciding to go with a small white lie.

  “I see,” she said, studying my face closely. Then her eyes grew wide, and she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. “You’re the woman who got caught in his office with her pants down, aren’t you?”

  My face flushed deep red, and it brought back all sorts of sunburn memories, especially the humiliating experience I’d had in Gerald’s office. I took a deep breath, managed to make eye contact with her, and gave her a small nod.

  “I’m not sure caught is the correct term,” I whispered.

  “Well, from what I’ve heard,” she said with a giggle. “He certainly does owe you a favor.”

  “Funny,” I said, glaring at her. “Okay, you’ve made your point.”

  “How did you manage to find the nerve to do that in his office?” she said with genuine interest. “I could never do that. I’d be scared to death of getting caught. Are you one of those people who enjoys doing things like that in public places?”

  “I think we’re done here,” I said, getting up from my chair.

  “We’ll get started reviewing the archives as soon as we can,” she said, still grinning. “Should I call you when it’s ready or just leave a message with Ger-ald?”

  “You’re enjoying this way too much,” I said, beaten. “Where did you hear about it?”

  “It’s a small island,” she said, shrugging. “Wait until I tell everyone I’ve met Gerald’s mystery woman.”

  “Oh, I really wish you wouldn’t,” I said, heading toward the door. Then I stopped when another thought popped into my head. “Is the location of the wedding listed on your marriage certificates?”

  “These days, most certainly,” she said. “But back then, the location could have either specifically mentioned the island it took place on, or it might have only referenced the Cayman Islands. Things were a little looser back then, and I imagine each Marriage Officer had their own system for how they recorded things like that.”

  “So, there could have been weddings on Little Cayman that weren’t identified as having taken place on the island?”

  “I’m sure there were,” she said, nodding. “The wedding you’re looking for took place on Little Cayman?”

  “Yes. At least that’s my thinking at the moment,” I said.

  “Then you might want to speak with the Marriage Officer on the island,” she said, leaning back in her chair.

  “There’s one on Little Cayman?”

  “I’m pretty sure the pastor of the church on Little Cayman is a registered Marriage Officer. There’s only one on the island.”

  “You know, that’s a pretty good idea,” I said, nodding at her.

  “Better than digging through thirty years of paper archives?”

  “Well, let’s call that our backup plan. Sort of an insurance policy to make sure we find it,” I said, giving her a snarky grin. “We’d hate to disappoint the Finance Minister, right?”

  “Yes, we certainly would,” she said, glaring at me. “But I imagine you’d know more about how to disappoint him than I would.”

  “Funny. And for the record, that whole thing in the office was an accident,” I said, brushing my hair back from my face. “My shorts fell down, and when I bent down to pull them up, I tripped over them and fell.”

  “I see,” she said, not believing a word coming out of my mouth. “If I’m ever caught in a compromising situation, I’ll have to try to remember that one. It’s much better than I just slipped on a banana peel.”

  “I’m going to leave now,” I said, making a face at her. “The archives await. Happy hunting.”

  “You, too.”

  I left the office before I gave in to the urge to knock the goofy grin she was giving me off her face. On my way toward the front door, I crossed paths with a woman who was entering the building and talking on her phone. When I drew near, she stared at me and gave me the once-over.

  “She’s right here,” the woman whispered into her phone. “Yeah, white blouse, tan shorts. It’s her.” She shot me a quick glance as I walked past her. “Yeah, she is attractive. He’s doing well for being such an old dog, isn’t he?”

  Her laughter followed me out the door. Apparently, the story of my encounter with Gerald in his office was about to spread further across the island like an out of control wildfire. I suppose I could have obsessed about being identified and subsequently judged as one of the Finance Minister’s girlfriends, dalliances, or worse.

  But my neurons were preoccupied with another obsession at the moment. I believed I was getting close to uncovering at least part of the mystery I’d had no luck solving. And I knew I still needed some help. As well as a bit of luck.

  I also needed one more thing.

  I needed a ride.

  Chapter 23

  “You’re on Captain Jack’s boat?” Josie said into the phone.

  “Yeah, I’m heading back to Little Cayman,” I said, having to speak loudly over the noise of the engine.

  “Should I even ask why?” she said, also trying to make herself heard over the background noise she was dealing with.

  “No, I’ll tell you all about it later. Where the heck are you?”

  “I’m at the shelter helping Teresa get ready for the opening. We just got a bunch of dogs and cats delivered, and Dr. Seltzer’s flight was delayed again. Apparently, there’s bad weather in Florida, and the airlines are really backed up. So Teresa asked me to come over and do some exams and shots. You wouldn’t believe the adorable litter of puppies that was just brought in. They can’t be more than eight weeks old.”

  “Wish I could be there,” I shouted. “I said, I wish I could be there…Never mind. I’ll talk with you later.”

  I ended the call and slipped my phone back into my shorts. I sat down on the seat next to Captain Jack.

  “What’s Josie up to?”

  “She’s spending the day surrounded by animals,” I said, glancing over at him.

  “So, she’s in heaven, right?” he said, laughing.

  “Pretty much,” I said, adjusting my sunglasses as I settled into my seat and stared out at the magnificent stretch of ocean surrounding me. “But being out here comes pretty close, too. Thanks for fitting me in on short notice.”

  “It’s not a problem. This was supposed to be my day off, but since I usually spend it out on the water, I might as well get paid to do it.”

  Unable to argue with his logic, I stretched out and pulled my hat down low to protect my face from the sun. The constant drone of the engine coupled with the breeze soon lulled me to sleep, and when I woke up, I could see Little Cayman on the horizon.

  “You were out,” Captain Jack said.

  “I know,” I said, yawning. “You sure this church is easy to find?”

 
; “You’re joking, right?” he said, laughing. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’ll find it. I’ll wait for you at the Hungry Iguana.”

  “Okay. Are you sure I’ll be able to walk it?” I said, glancing out at the rapidly approaching shoreline.

  “Well, I certainly hope so,” he said chuckling as he pulled the throttle back until the boat was in neutral. “If you don’t mind, can you handle the bow line?”

  “That I can do,” I said, getting up from my seat and arching my back.

  When we had docked, I hopped out, tied off the bow and stern, then stared out at Owen Island while I waited for Captain Jack. We walked down the dock then waved as we headed off in different directions. I walked toward a section of town called Blossom Village, which was apparently the spot where the original inhabitants had taken up residence. A small number of buildings dotted the area along with several wooden houses I assumed were historical. A handful of tourist resorts were located nearby as were what appeared to be a couple of condo complexes. All in all, it was a pretty idyllic setting, and I soon came upon a small church.

  A large lizard was sitting on the front steps staring up at me. On my way to the church, I’d passed a road sign that told me in no uncertain terms that iguanas had the right of way. Even though I wasn’t driving, I veered to my right and kept my distance from the Blue Iguana that must have been four feet long.

  I entered, gave my eyes time to adjust to the change in light, then glanced around the empty space. I slowly walked toward the front of the church and heard a noise off to my right. I cleared my throat, and a man turned around, saw me standing there and beamed at me.

  “Welcome,” he said, heading toward me.

  “Am I in the right place?” I said.

  “Are you seeking the comfort and solace of a house of worship?” he said, his smile etched on.

  “Well, no, not per se,” I said, frowning. “But I am looking for a church. And the comfort and solace part would be a nice bonus.” I gave him a weak smile.

  “Then you are definitely in the right place. We’re the only game in town,” he said, laughing.