The Case of the Klutzy King Charles

by B R Snow

  I typed the girl’s name into the box designated for Czech words, then frowned when I saw the English equivalent.

  “Did anything come back?” my mother said.

  “Yeah, it did. This is too weird.”

  “What’s the English translation?”

  “Mother Earth.”

  Chapter 25

  Like most of the others, New Year’s Eve had started off full of promise but ended with a whimper. To be more accurate, it ended with the three of us and the dogs stretched out on recliners at the edge of the pool sound asleep and snoring into a gentle onshore breeze just after eleven o’clock. We’d eaten a wonderful dinner at the restaurant, waited until Chef Claire had finished helping Finn out in the kitchen, then excused ourselves around ten just as the hats and noisemakers were being passed out. We headed home determined to stay awake at least until the stroke of midnight. One glass of champagne later, after we had watched the dogs take a late-night swim in the pool, shared the day’s highlights with each other, and discussed the grand opening of the animal shelter scheduled for noon tomorrow the recliners had simply looked too comfortable to pass up.

  I’ve never quite understood the whole make it to midnight thing. It’s not like it still won’t be the new year when you wake-up the next morning. And don’t get me wrong; I enjoy a party as much as the next person. But New Year’s Eve, for me, has always seemed like a forced, almost mandatory, ritual dictating that everyone with a calendar and a clock have a good time. I much prefer to be surprised and delighted by unexpected revelry instead of bored and disappointed with over-hyped and rigidly timed get-togethers where I’m forced to wear a silly hat and fend off the advances of drunk strangers who consider the stroke of midnight license to lock lips and let their hands roam. And as far as the need for noisemakers goes, I’ve already got Josie and the dogs to handle that.

  I’d come to the realization that I was no fan of the pseudo-festive New Year’s Eve several years ago. At first, I chastised myself for being what my mother called an anti-social fuddy-duddy. Then Josie, another outspoken critic of the forced-fun society, suggested that I merely needed to start looking at the issue differently. And since I love to get a good night’s sleep, I eventually decided that being fresh and reinvigorated when the calendar turned was an important step in getting the year off to a good start.

  Now, being well-rested on the morning of January 1st permanently occupies the top spot on my annual list of New Year’s resolutions.

  And it’s always nice to be able to cross one off the list right out of the gate.

  For the record, spending more time at the gym did make its way onto my list of resolutions. But it’s way down at the bottom at number thirty-one, and since I’m going to be pretty busy with the top thirty, I’m not sure I’ll be able to get to it before Thanksgiving.

  I left Josie and Chef Claire still sound asleep on their recliners and headed inside to the kitchen. My first priority was to get a huge pot of coffee brewing. Then I gave all four dogs their morning snack, laid out way too many strips of bacon on a tray and slid it into the oven, then beat several eggs in a bowl. I added a healthy splash of cream, salt and pepper along with a touch of fresh nutmeg, and a handful of cheddar cheese. I poured the mixture into a pan then began cutting thick slices of the Italian bread we served at the restaurant.

  The dogs quickly finished their snack and sat in a semi-circle around the oven as the smell of bacon began to fill the kitchen. I ushered them toward the door.

  “Why don’t you guys go wake those two up?” I said, holding the door open for them. “Maybe go for a swim?”

  Chloe cocked her head at me, and Captain dropped a tennis ball at my feet. I grabbed the ball, along with three others, and fired them across the patio into the pool. I watched them charge off and dive into the water then slid the screen door shut and went back to the kitchen. As I closely monitored the progress of the bacon and scrambled eggs, I turned my neurons loose and waited for them to coalesce around this morning’s top-of-mind concerns.

  High on the list was the need to get some clarification about what the heck John Smith was up to. Gerald had made it perfectly clear that it was also a top priority for him as well. While he didn’t come right out and say it, I was certain Gerald was concerned that someone he’d done business with and considered a friend was about to put him in a very difficult position.

  Another concern of mine was the genuine fear that something bad had happened to his daughter, the bizarrely-named Matkazeme. Even though it was clear that the woman was a committed environmentalist and probably very much at odds with her father, I couldn’t believe Smith had been part of any plan to harm his daughter. As such, I considered it a very real possibility that he wasn’t even aware that she had been on Grand Cayman and written the infamous article.

  But the fact that she had disappeared without a trace continued to nag at me.

  I grudgingly conceded the point that after writing the article she had considered her work done and left the islands to head to the next target in her crusade to slow down what she considered the inexorable onslaught of concrete and condos making their way across the planet. But that would have entailed leaving her beloved Earl behind. Perhaps her next destination prevented her from bringing the King Charles along, but no dog lover would ever leave without making sure their four-legged companion would be well-cared for. And there was no way she could have known that Earl was safe and sound with my mother. That fact alone convinced me that Matkazeme was either dead or being held somewhere against her will.

  I removed and drained the bacon then slid it back into the oven to keep it warm. I finished cooking the eggs, removed them from the heat, and focused on the toast. When I had built a buttered stack, I headed for the door and saw Chef Claire and Josie on their feet watching the dogs splashing around in the pool. I waved for them to come inside then set out plates and utensils.

  “Good morning,” Josie said, coming through the screen door. “Happy New Year.”

  “Right back atcha,” I said. “Hungry?”

  “A little early in the day for rhetorical questions, wouldn’t you say?” she said, grinning at me as she grabbed a plate.

  “Morning,” Chef Claire said, picking at her soaked tee shirt. “Where do those guys get all that energy in the morning?”

  “Probably from me,” I deadpanned as I handed her a plate.

  “Good one,” Josie said, rolling her eyes at me. “We should try to get to the shelter by eleven just in case Teresa needs any help.”

  “Sure, that works,” I said, sitting down on one of the stools surrounding the kitchen island.

  “Good eggs,” Chef Claire said through a mouthful. “Nutmeg, right?”

  “Yeah, you taught us well,” I said. “What time do you need to be at the restaurant?”

  Chef Claire laughed and munched a strip of bacon.

  “I don’t think I need to be there at all,” she said, shaking her head. “Finn has the place humming. He’s amazing.”

  “Well, he was the executive chef at a major resort down here before my mother convinced him to join us,” I said, stacking some of my scrambled eggs on a piece of toast.

  “I think we might want to make some adjustments to the ownership structure,” Chef Claire said. “I’d like to give him a piece of the action and lock him up so he doesn’t go anywhere.”

  “I was thinking we might want to do the same thing with Rocco,” Josie said. “Between the two of them, we wouldn’t have to worry about the restaurant at all. I’ll take peace of mind over a bit more money any day.”

  “Okay, that works for me,” I said, shrugging. “We pretty much opened the place just so you wouldn’t get bored while we’re down here all winter.”

  “I think I’m getting used to it,” Chef Claire said, laughing. “This lifestyle gives me a lot more time to sit back and think about what I want to do next.”

  I looked over at Josie who frowned back at me. Every time Chef Claire started talking
about doing something else, we both got nervous that she might decide to leave.

  “Oh, relax,” she said, shaking her head when she caught the look on our faces. “I’m not going anywhere. Where on earth could I do any better than being with you two?”

  “It must be a day for rhetorical questions,” Josie deadpanned. “So, what’s been on your mind?”

  “Two things primarily,” Chef Claire said, taking a sip of coffee. “I’ve been thinking about developing a line of dog food.”

  “Really? That’s interesting,” I said, nodding. “Have you gotten anywhere with it yet?”

  “Not really,” she said, reaching for another piece of toast. “But I think there’s a sweet spot we could hit in the market. A lot of the dog food out there is pretty crappy, but there are some really healthy brands as well. The problem is that the dog food that’s good for them is so expensive. And a lot of dog owners just can’t afford to spend that much money on feeding them. If we can come up with a with a high-quality product and keep the price point down, I think we could do very well.”

  “Not to mention keeping a lot of dogs healthier in the process,” Josie said. “I like it.”

  “Me too,” I said, sliding my plate away. “And it would be a good fit with the dog toy business. That reminds me, the search firm wants us to meet with a CEO candidate.”

  We’d recently accidentally stumbled into a new business opportunity manufacturing dog toys, and we were currently in the process of getting it off the ground. But our initial CEO had been charged with accessory to murder and was awaiting trial in Ottawa. Given that, we were taking our time and doing our best to make sure we found the right person for the job.

  “Who’s the candidate?” Josie said.

  “She’s currently a senior VP with Cat and Canine Couture,” I said.

  “The pet clothing company?” Josie said, frowning. “Oh, I hate that place. Dressing animals up in some of those outfits is just cruel. Captain would probably run away from home if I tried to put him in one of those plaid sweater vests.”

  “She doesn’t like the place either,” I said, laughing. “And she’s looking for a change and a chance to run a company. The search firm is wondering if we’re okay flying her down here for an interview.”

  “She’s a dog lover, right?” Chef Claire said.

  “She has two Springer Spaniels that go everywhere with her, including work.”

  “Okay, that’s a very good start. The why don’t we get her down here?” Josie said. “We’re starting to get a lot of questions about the business we can’t answer. I’m completely out of my depth when it comes to things like operational capacity and run rates. What the heck is a run rate anyway?”

  “You’re asking me?” I said, shrugging. “But I could probably come up with a leisurely stroll rate.”

  They both laughed. Chef Claire topped off all our coffee cups.

  “I’ll see if we can get something set up for next week,” I said. “Well, I must say that this has turned into a very productive morning. The new year is off to a great start.”

  “Wait a sec. You mentioned you’d been thinking about two things,” Josie said, turning to Chef Claire. “What’s the other one?”

  “Oh, nothing major,” Chef Claire said, giving us a coy smile. “I just decided it’s about time for me to start thinking about settling down and having a kid. Maybe two.”

  “And I thought adding learning Spanish to my list of resolutions was a stretch goal,” I said, shaking my head. “Wow. You’re not messing around this year.”

  “Thanks to you guys, I’ve got everything I ever dreamed possible. Except for the family thing,” Chef Claire said. “I live in two of the most beautiful spots in the world, we’ve got the dogs, and with you guys around, my best friends in the whole world, it’s like having two of the most special aunties any kid could ever hope for.”

  “That’s so sweet,” I said, hugging her.

  “Aahhh,” Josie said, tearing up. “I’d be honored to spoil your kid rotten.”

  “I’m serious,” Chef Claire said. “I remember I had a ton of extended family around when I was growing up, but my favorite was this woman who used to babysit me. She also helped my mom out around the house taking care of the place. And she would do anything for us. She became such a part of the family that my mom and dad helped her out when she decided she wanted to start her own business. For some reason, you guys remind me of her.”

  “That’s really very kind of you, Chef Claire,” Josie said, placing a hand on her forearm. “Isn’t it, Suzy? Suzy?”

  “Uh-oh,” Chef Claire said. “She’s got that look.”

  “Yeah, she’s a goner,” Josie said, munching on a slice of bacon. “Let’s give her a minute.”

  I eventually refocused on my immediate surroundings. I glanced back and forth at them and blinked several times. I shook my head to clear it and exhaled loudly.

  “What is it, Snoopmeister?” Josie said.

  “I think I know where Matkazeme is.”

  Chapter 26

  Teresa had done an amazing job getting ready for the grand opening of the shelter. I wasn’t exactly sure where all the cats and dogs had come from, but it appeared that we were already nearing capacity. We were also now the official home of a mule, a handful of goats, and a collection of beautiful parrots that were either injured or no longer capable of fending for themselves in the wild.

  The outside of the building was adorned with streamers and helium balloons on long strings that were floating high above the ground and being buffeted by a strong breeze. Inside were more streamers and balloons and several dozen people were wandering in and out of the reception area. A lot of them were moving slowly and speaking in hushed voices, victims, I assumed, of their own New Year’s Eve revelries. A few of them were still dressed to the nines, their outfits, like themselves, a bit worse for wear. I didn’t know most of them and assumed they must have been invited by my mother.

  “Well, what do you think?” Teresa said as she approached holding Rocco’s hand.

  “The place looks great,” I said. “Hey, Rocco.”

  “Hi, Suzy,” he said, beaming as he looked around. “Teresa and the kids did a great job, huh?”

  “They certainly did,” I said. “Who are all these people?”

  “I think a lot of them are friends of your mother,” Teresa said, glancing around. “A few minutes ago, she told me to get ready for a big day of fundraising. I think she’s going to put the bite on all of them for a donation.”

  “I have no doubt,” I said, laughing.

  “Excuse me for a sec,” Teresa said. “I need to check in with the caterers.”

  We watched her depart, and the look on Rocco’s face was impossible to miss.

  “Life is good, huh?” I said, grinning at him.

  “Life is amazing. She’s amazing,” he said. “Are you guys sure you’re okay with me moving down here year-round?”

  “Absolutely. We need somebody down here to manage the restaurant and keep an eye on things. And we’ll find somebody to handle the bar back home.”

  “I really appreciate everything you guys have done for us.”

  “The feeling is mutual, Rocco,” I said, then noticed Detective Renfro entering reception from the dog area. “What is he doing here?”

  “Detective Renfro?” Rocco said, glancing over his shoulder. “My new best buddy? It’s like he thinks he’s my shadow. Everywhere I go, there he is.”

  “He still thinks you were the one who shot Gavin?”

  “I don’t think so,” Rocco said, waving at the detective. “But until he has another suspect, I think he feels the need to keep a close eye on me.”

  “Good afternoon,” Detective Renfro said, extending his hand toward me. “And Happy New Year.”

  “Same to you, Detective,” I said, returning the handshake. “Are you thinking about adopting a pet?”

  “You know, I wasn’t,” he said. “But then I saw the most adorable calico
cat out there. Given my job and how much my schedule is at the mercy of other people, a dog is out of the question. But a cat just might work.”

  “Good for you,” I said, nodding. “I’m glad I ran into you. Would you have a few minutes to spare? I’d really like to speak with you.”

  “Sure,” he said, nodding.

  “I’ll take that as my cue to leave,” Rocco said, flashing a smile at both of us then walking off to join Teresa.

  “He’s a good man,” Detective Renfro said as he watched him depart.

  “He is. Does that mean he’s no longer a suspect?” I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

  “Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “So, what would you like to talk about?”

  I glanced around to make sure we were out of earshot of the other guests then gave him a summary of what I believed I’d uncovered. He listened closely as I outlined the details and a few of my conclusions caused him to frown and scowl. When I finished, I couldn’t tell if he was giving my theories serious consideration or whether he was simply annoyed.

  “What do you think?” I said, rocking back and forth on my heels.

  “I think you might be jumping to a few too many conclusions,” he said, scratching his head as he stared off into the distance.

  “Well, like Josie says, if I didn’t, I’d never get any exercise,” I said, laughing.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Forget it,” I said, waving it off. “Where do you think I went off the rails?”

  “I’m not sure you did,” he said. “But the whole abduction thing sounds like a bit of a stretch. I know her. She’s one of the sweetest people on the island. Why on earth would she get involved in something like that?”

  “To keep someone she loves safe and out of the way. And to help her former employer out.”

  “Former employer?” Detective Renfro said. “Where did that come from?”

  “That one is sort of a leap of faith,” I said, shrugging. “But I’m almost positive I’m right.”