Vicious Spirits

by Kat Cho

  A spirit floated by, and Somin jerked back, a gasp escaping her. “Maybe we should get going. I feel like there are more of them now.”

  “We could go,” Junu said, but realized he was reluctant to end their time together. “Or we could go somewhere the ghosts aren’t.” His eyes moved to the air balloon ride overhead.

  Somin smiled. “Okay.”

  Junu took her hand in his, gave it a light squeeze, and waited. It took a couple of seconds, but then he felt Somin squeeze back. And he promised himself that he’d just take today. Make it a perfect memory. And then he’d let her go.

  35

  THE LINE FOR the air balloons was one of the longest, but they made small talk as they waited. Never touching on anything too serious. And neither addressing the spirits that floated through the park. Perhaps they both knew that they needed a reprieve. Somin could feel a tension in Junu that slowly sifted away as the line moved. She’d become so attuned to his moods, and now she found herself worrying about him. Wanting to comfort him. Wanting to be around him. She didn’t know what to do with that realization, so she just pocketed it to take out later.

  As they settled in their assigned balloon, Somin said, “Thank you for today.”

  “I’m glad it was helpful,” Junu said with a gentle smile. She loved the shape of this smile on him. It made his face look so different. Where Junu usually seemed so wickedly sly, now he looked young, almost sweet.

  “Can I ask you something?” Somin asked.

  “If I said no, would that even stop you?” Junu said.

  Somin laughed because he was right. “Why do you always insist on acting like you don’t care about anything but yourself when you have the ability to be so kind?”

  “Being kind doesn’t get you things in life,” Junu said.

  “That’s not true. Being kind gets you friendship, family, love.”

  “Not in my family it didn’t.”

  This piqued Somin’s interest. She’d been wanting to know more about who Junu was as a person. What made him tick. What had shaped him into the strangely complicated person who sat beside her. And this was the first time he’d ever voluntarily mentioned his family. “You never talk about them. Why is that?”

  “Because they’re not worth talking about.”

  Junu tried to turn away, but Somin stopped him even as a part of her warned her to let this go. It was obvious Junu didn’t want to talk about this. But she had to know. She had a growing need to know more of him. And she was finally admitting it was because her feelings for him had grown beyond her control. It made her desperate for any scraps about the person who was embedding himself into her heart. “But they’re who raised you.”

  “Well, that was hundreds of years ago. I’ve done a lot of living since then.”

  “I hate it when you do that.” Somin huffed.

  “What?”

  “Use your immortality as a weapon against me. Because you know I can’t argue against it, since I have no idea what it’s like to be immortal.”

  “Oh, have I finally made the great Lee Somin feel like she can’t be right about everything?”

  Frustration washed through her. “I feel like I’m constantly on unequal footing with you. Even when I’m so sure I’m right, I feel like that doesn’t make a difference with you.”

  Junu chuckled. “Because I’m immortal?”

  “That. How nothing ever fazes you. Even the way you say my name ‘Lee Somin’ like you’re just toying with me. I don’t even know your family name. I feel like I’m lacking a tool when I can’t use your full name when I’m yelling at you.”

  “Things faze me, but I’m just good at recovering. After centuries doing black-market deals with unreliable clientele, you learn how to hold your cards close.” Junu shrugged. “And despite what you might think, I don’t use a single name because I think it makes me sound cooler.”

  Somin waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, she asked, “Okay, then why do you do it? To keep up an air of mystery with your disreputable clientele?”

  Junu shook his head. “No, it’s because that name is a reminder of my family. I don’t like remembering them. My mother was indifferent, and my father was very strict. They didn’t have much patience for me, probably because I wasn’t the good studious son they wanted.”

  The raw emotion that sprinted across his face was such an unfamiliar sight that it took Somin by surprise. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. They’ve been gone a long time now. I’ve moved past it.”

  “That story you told me, about the boy who was a disappointment to his family name. Was that you?” Somin asked.

  Junu’s silence was answer enough.

  Let it go, Somin told herself. Don’t push at it. But she couldn’t help herself. “If it’s still upsetting, then maybe keeping it buried inside isn’t working.”

  Junu shrugged. “Leaving something behind means you don’t have to talk or think about it again.”

  Somin shook her head. “You should be able to talk about things. If you can’t, then doesn’t that mean the memories are still hurting you?”

  “What do you want from me?” Junu’s voice rose. Somin flinched; she’d never seen Junu lose his temper, he was always so poised, so controlled. “Do you want me to bare my soul to you? To fix all the broken pieces of my heart so I can realize I just want to be a normal boy who can fall in love with a normal girl?” He shook his head. “If that’s what you want, then you’re wasting your time.”

  “What? No, I don’t want . . . I mean, I don’t know what I want.” Somin remembered what Miyoung had said once. What’s the point of worrying who we’ll be in a year? Right now, he is what’s right for me. Could she say that Junu was right for her now? Or were they fooling themselves to think they could make anything of this . . . whatever this was. “What do you want?”

  Junu’s brows drew together, as if the question stumped him.

  “What? No smart reply?” She couldn’t help herself; the sarcasm was like a defense mechanism that spilled out of her. Because the truth was, she was scared. Scared that after a day of realizing how much she wanted to be around Junu, she’d inadvertently pushed him away.

  “I know I like being with you.” The words could have calmed her nerves if not for the silent “but” hanging at the end of the sentence.

  “And?” she asked despite her trepidation.

  “And I also know that you ask a lot of me just by being who you are. I’ve always lived exactly how I pleased. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never change myself to be what another wanted. But being around you makes me need to be different. I can’t tell if it’s what I want or what I think you want.”

  “I told you I don’t know what I want,” Somin whispered. She felt like she was losing hold of something here, like sand sifting through her fingers.

  “But that’s a lie,” Junu said, running his hands up her arms. His smile was almost sad, like he was already saying goodbye.

  It made Somin feel edgy. “I can’t stop myself from wanting to help you. It’s what happens when I care about someone.”

  That stopped Junu, his face pinched.

  “Is it really that bad?” she asked. “To have someone care about you?”

  “Yes,” Junu breathed, and Somin closed her eyes, embarrassed at the easy rejection.

  She tried to pull away, but his hands tightened.

  “It’s bad because I don’t deserve it,” Junu continued. “I don’t deserve you. Why do you always insist on giving everything of yourself to people?”

  “As opposed to you?” Somin asked. “Who gives nothing and tries to convince himself he can live alone because he’s scared to let go of any part of himself?”

  “I’m not scared. I just know who and what I am,” Junu said. “I should never have started thi
s. I’ll only ruin you like I ruin everything I touch.”

  “What?” Fire rose up in her now, anger fed by this drawn-out game of hot and cold Junu was playing. She jerked away. “Ruin me?” she said. “Like I am just this innocent little flower that you’re going to crush in your dangerous dokkaebi hand?”

  Junu stared at her, his mouth agape. “No,” he stammered. “I just meant—”

  “I don’t need to hear what you think you meant. You spent so long teasing me, pursuing me. And now that I’m here, now that I care, you’re trying to pull away because you think you know what’s best for me? I can make my own choices. I’m not a weak, delicate thing that needs your protection.”

  Junu shook his head. “I’ve never thought that.”

  “Well, you could have fooled me. You know, for someone who insists we leave the past behind us, you’re still stuck there.”

  “You’re one to talk,” Junu said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Somin asked.

  “What’s today?”

  Somin couldn’t answer. No, Somin didn’t want to answer.

  “Come on, I’m not completely oblivious. You were upset this morning. And you said Jihoon forgot today. Which means it’s important. You say I’m stuck in the past, but today seems to have some kind of past significance for you.”

  “It’s my abeoji’s birthday,” Somin murmured.

  “Ah,” Junu said, drawing out the syllable. “And because he was good to you, you miss him.”

  His words rubbed at an old wound. “You say that like it’s wrong for me to mourn him.”

  “No, of course you should. I’m sorry that today causes you pain.” But Junu’s voice was wooden, his body stiff. Despite herself, it made Somin feel embarrassed that she’d shared something so personal with him when he seemed almost bored by it.

  “I didn’t tell you to get your sympathy,” Somin snapped. “And I didn’t force you to come here. I’m only here with you because—” She broke off and snapped her lips closed, but it was too late.

  “And you’d never be caught dead out with me, right? Except, you didn’t want to be alone and I just happened to be there.”

  “That’s not true,” Somin said.

  “Then if I hadn’t come when I did, would you have sought me out? Would you have called me and trusted me to be there for you?”

  “I don’t know.” Somin couldn’t quite look him in the eye, because he was right. She’d never have gone to him first. She’d never have trusted him to be the one to comfort her, but she was wrong. He was what she needed today. Why couldn’t she say that? Why couldn’t she make herself say the words?

  “It’s wrong to latch on to the closest person just because you’re afraid of being alone. People don’t realize that loneliness isn’t just about being alone,” Junu said quietly. Words spoken so casually that it took a moment for her to recognize the sorrow in them.

  “Junu, I never meant—” Somin broke off as the ride came to a stop and the door opened.

  “Hope you enjoyed your ride,” the attendant chirped.

  Junu got up without a word and exited. Somin followed him, giving a small cursory bow of thanks to the attendant.

  “Junu,” Somin started to say, but she stopped short as a scream pierced the air.

  A woman dropped to her knees, her hands folding like she was praying. “My mother! It’s my mother. She’s come back from the dead.” She was staring at the ghost of an old woman who stood before her. The old ghost’s eyes were blank and uncaring, like it couldn’t recognize its own flesh and blood.

  Many looked confused and concerned for the woman and her hysterics. But some seemed to finally notice the ghosts among them. Like her cries were a switch.

  A woman ushered her children toward the exit, eyeing a spectral form that floated beside an ice cream stand, her youngest child crying as he clung to his mother.

  “Do you see them?” a little boy asked his parents, who were pulling him toward the information center. “Gwishin, Eomma! Do you see them?”

  An older man was gathering his granddaughter close as she hid her eyes in his collar. “Don’t worry, Harabeoji is here. No one can hurt you.”

  Suddenly a voice came on the speaker. “We apologize, but Lotte World is closing for the day. Please make your way to the exits, and if you have any questions, then you can call our customer service line. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

  “Junu,” Somin said, fear heavy in her voice. “What do we do?”

  “I need to find Miyoung,” Junu said.

  “But what should I—?” Somin was interrupted by the ring of her phone. She picked it up. “Mom? Already? Oh, okay, yeah, I can come back now.” She hung up, staring at the screen instead of looking at Junu. “My mom got off work early. She said she has something important to tell me.”

  “We should get going,” Junu said, walking toward the exit.

  “Okay,” Somin said, and cursed her voice for wobbling as she hurried after him.

  36

  HE SHOULDN’T HAVE overreacted the way he did, Junu thought as he walked up the path to his apartment. Should he just turn around and find Somin? Tell her he was sorry and a jerk and sorry for being a jerk. She’d told him today was her father’s birthday, and instead of comforting her, he’d blown up at her. He was more than a jerk. But he was too caught up in his guilt to think of a good expletive to call himself right now.

  No, he had to find Miyoung first. The tear was obviously growing, and he didn’t know how the reapers would react to that. He had to make sure she was safe. His fight with Somin would have to wait.

  Junu almost didn’t notice the person sitting in the living room as he walked through the apartment. But it rose and spoke his name.

  Junu jumped back. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?” he asked, flipping on a switch.

  “I was waiting for you.” Jihoon stepped around the table until he was uncomfortably close to Junu.

  “Okay,” Junu said, drawing out the word and taking a step back. “Well, I had a really bad day, so maybe this can wait until morning?”

  “Oh, I’m done waiting.”

  “Well, sorry I wasn’t around today. Maybe you should give Lee Somin a call?” he said, hoping perhaps this might be the first step in making things up to her. Reminding her absentee best friend that she needed him.

  “Why would I call her?” Jihoon asked, sincere puzzlement wrinkling his brow.

  “What?” Junu hesitated at the disinterest on Jihoon’s face. “Because she’s hurting.”

  “Ah, and of course you want to save her from that. I see you still have that foolhardy notion that you can be someone’s savior. Are you going to save her from her lonely life as well?”

  “What are you talking about?” Something about Jihoon’s tone, more than his confusing words, rang an alarm. “What’s going on here? Where’s Miyoung?”

  “She went to the market. I think she wants to take care of me, since I haven’t been sleeping well and all.” But despite Jihoon’s claim, he looked fine. His skin was bright, and his eyes were wide and watchful. Had they always been this dark? Like endless black pits?

  “Jihoon-ah, if this is some kind of game, can you just tell me? I’m not in the mood for any surprises.”

  “Ah yes, I remember you hate surprises. Though I tried to prepare one for you. You see, I knew you’d never accept me for what I really was. You were far too simple. Far too cowardly.” Jihoon ran his finger behind his ear. A motion that was too familiar. A motion that sparked an unnerving recognition. He could see that same motion in his memories, pushing long strands of dark hair behind a pale ear. A small, clever smile quirking rosebud lips, a smile like Jihoon had right now.

  “Sinhye,” he breathed with grim certainty. “This isn’t possible.”

  “Oh, Junu-ya, you of all people should bel
ieve in the impossible by now. Didn’t I teach you that?” There was a spark of light in Jihoon’s eyes before he leapt forward, pushing Junu so hard his head slammed into the wall. He heard a sharp crack resonate through his skull as lights exploded behind his eyes.

  “I’ve waited so long for this. I’m going to enjoy destroying your world.” The shape of Jihoon’s face became warped as Junu’s vision wavered. He tried to reply, but his words were swallowed by a nauseating darkness that overtook him.

  37

  WHEN JUNU OPENED his eyes, Hyuk stood over him.

  His head ached and his limbs felt shaky and Jihoon was nowhere to be seen. “Ugh, please tell me I’m dead.”

  “Is that truly something you wish for?” the jeoseung saja asked, his head tilting curiously to the side.

  “You’ve been away from the mortal world too long. You used to be better at reading sarcasm,” Junu said, pushing himself up.

  “You told me sarcasm was a form of humor. Were you trying to be funny just now?” Hyuk asked.

  Junu shook his head, and the movement made him dizzy all over again. “Never mind. I guess you’re here because of Sinhye.”

  Hyuk’s brows lifted. “No, but I am surprised it took you this long to identify her threat.”

  “Sorry that I don’t live in an immortal realm where the spirits tell me all I wish to know.”

  Hyuk laughed. “That one was meant as a joke, right?”

  Junu closed his eyes in frustration.

  “Sinhye is dangerous,” Hyuk said.

  “I know that.”

  “Spirits are not meant to possess human bodies this long. It goes against the command of King Yeomra. If a spirit is lucky enough to find a host vessel, their energy is expelled within twenty-four hours.”

  Junu opened his eyes at that. “But we went to the cave two days ago. How can she hold on to Jihoon this long?”

  “Something about that human makes him the perfect vessel.”

  “What? He’s just a normal kid,” Junu said.