by Lauren Wood
All of that was to say that the dinner was not all bad and it wasn't all good. It was a mix and as we were leaving, I was thankful that it was over. He thought it went well, but he probably would because my parents were nicer to him than they were to me. I would suppose that they were just happy that I was finally with someone. It had always been something that they worried about.
I knew that there was going to be questions asked later and I wasn't looking forward to them, but at least I could put them up for now. For now, I could pretend like I didn't just have one of the most awkward evenings of my life.
Nick really didn't get it. He was happy to have met my father and that everything went well. I asked him why he cared so much, and he told me that it would be easier later if they liked him.
“Easier later? What do you mean? Easier for what?”
He shrugged. “Just what I said. It will just be easier.”
He kept talking about the future, like we really had one together. I didn't know if we did or not. It was too soon to tell. I know that I felt good when I was around him. He made me feel like everything that had gone wrong was for a reason and every day that I waited for the perfect guy to come, I hadn’t wasted my time. It was all because of him.
I really don't know if it was true feelings or not, but it came over me and it was hard to ignore it. I wanted to think that the butterflies in my stomach were mirrored in his own, but that would have been ridiculous to think. I had known for a long time that guys and girls were different. I was new to men and love, so I probably felt more than I should. I talked myself out of even dreaming of him feeling the way that I did. It would be too perfect, too much what I wanted. I learned that no one ever got everything. It was just greedy to assume that it was obtainable.
“You're being really quiet. I thought that everything went pretty well. Was I completely misreading the situation and it was a disaster?”
“No, it's nothing like that. I guess it went okay. My dad seemed to like you and I knew that he would.”
“So then, what has you looking like that?”
I shrugged and looked out the passenger window. “I don't know, they were just acting so weird. I think they would have married me off right then and there.”
I should have been happy. I wanted them to like him, but the way that they had gushed over him was too much to bear. It was more a problem that I had with my own parents. It didn't really have much to do with him at all. He was just the realization of it all.
“So, where do you want to go? We can go back to my place. I know it's not going far, but we would be alone.”
The way he said the last bit, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He was trying to be cute and sexy and he really was. My mind immediately went back to what we had done before going over to the bar. It had been amazing, felt amazing, and of course, I wanted to do it again. The only problem was, I was afraid of what it was going to turn into. Just because my parents were ready to marry me off and Nick was kind of perfect, that didn't mean that I was ready to give up everything that I had waited so long for. There was still a big part of me that wasn't sure.
When I said it was probably not a good idea for me to go over to his place, he kind of chuckled.
“It probably isn’t a good thing. I don't know if I would be able to keep my wits about me. You do have me feeling like I would lose my cool.”
“Got it, no alone time.”
He said that it was for my benefit and I honestly believed him. There was definitely a fear inside of me. I don't know what would happen if he touched me and kissed me the way that he had before. I had a very good feeling that I would not be able to stop him. I'm still a bit surprised that I was able to before. It must have been superhuman strength or something.
“How about we just go for a drive? You can show me some of the places that you like, and you can drive a little fast. I think we both need some speed after that evening.”
He had a twinkle in his eyes, and it didn't take much to agree with him. If he wasn't going to get lucky, apparently taking some of the frustration and relief out on his driving, was just as well. I knew then that one day soon, I was going to have to make a decision. Would it be enough for me to finally give in to the temptation that was becoming harder and harder to ignore?
I didn't even have to question if it would be Nick. For some reason, I already knew. But when I was questioning everything and why I was waiting, I was finding it harder to answer that question.
Suddenly, I was the one that didn't want to wait any longer. Not much longer anyway.
16
Nick
I was feeling weird after my night with Betty. It was not at all what I had anticipated. There had been a few moments when it first started, where I had been able to get my hands on her rather quickly.
I knew that Betty had the same urge inside of her that I had. It was obvious that she wanted me. It was also clear, though, that she wasn't ready for it. Her reasoning behind it was still unclear to me. I had questions, but I’d learned to wait. I was convinced that there was a good explanation. It wasn't from lack of desire and want either. It had been dripping off of her. Why she insisted on making it difficult, I had no idea.
So, I went home with a full spectrum of emotions. I had fun and that obviously was a good thing. It had been refreshing to be around her and she even got along with my bandmates. Maybe she was even a bit too perfect; however, it didn't change anything. We talked about going out the next day and even though I had other things planned, I knew that I would obviously have a way better time with her. It hadn't taken me long at all to figure that out.
I still wasn't sure how I felt about all of it. By this time in any other relationship, I would be balls deep inside of the girl. I wasn't used to delaying gratification and even though I knew a lot guys were into that sort of thing, I was not. I wanted gratification and I couldn’t go without it much longer.
Deciding that I couldn’t wait, I came up with a plan to go see her. I went back and forth with it for at least an hour or two. I knew which room she was staying in and I couldn't stay away any longer. I tried the age-old method of throwing rocks at her window to get her attention, but that didn't work. All it did was make a horrible sound that made me paranoid as hell and I was convinced that everyone was going to hear it. When she didn't come to the window, I started to lose hope that my plan was going to have a happy ending. What had I been thinking?
When I was about to give up, I saw a shadow behind the window, and I knew immediately that it was Betty. She opened the window and it took her a minute to realize who it was. She wasn't ecstatic to see me, but she wasn't upset about it either. I guess I'm just going to have to take it.
“What are you doing here?”
“I can't stop thinking about you.”
“Well, you could have called me, you know.”
“Yeah, I guess I could have. I wanted to see you. Can you come out for a little bit? Are you sleeping?”
She agreed that she wasn't sleeping, and I wanted to take that as she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about me. That's what I had been doing, so it was a lot easier to imagine her doing the same thing. It made me feel a little bit better to know that I wasn't the only one that was completely losing their shit.
“No, I was sleeping. I was actually sleeping pretty well. Why don't you just meet me out there in a minute? I think it would be better than you coming in here.”
I wasn't going to argue with her. Whatever way I could see her was all that mattered. She said that she would be down in a few minutes and I was to wait for her. I didn't want to wait for her, though. I wanted to go up into her bedroom and talk her out of the one thing that I couldn't get out of my mind. I would be the first to admit that was exactly what I was thinking about. I don't know if it was going to do me any good, of course, but it was certainly on my mind.
She wanted me to meet her down here, so I didn't have a choice, though. I was going to go along with anything I had
to. I knew what I wanted, and she was it. If I had to jump through a few hoops, I was okay with that. I was pretty much okay with anything at this point, as long as it gave me more time with her. That was certainly a strange feeling to have, considering that I had never felt that way about someone before. I had a feeling that these feelings that I had for her, were not going to stop. They were only going to get worse and I'm not even sure why she was playing hard to get. I only knew that it was time for it to end. Even though I hadn't waited long, it was certainly longer than I'd ever had to wait before.
It didn't take long for Betty to get downstairs and she looked like she didn't put much into getting dressed. She just threw on some kind of robe. Her hair was down and the dark mass was soft-looking to the touch. Why did I want to touch it so badly?
“You look great.”
She scoffed and waved me off. “You really are full of yourself. I just threw something on.”
“I know. That should tell you something. You don't even have to get ready like other girls. You're just naturally beautiful.”
She told me then that I was naturally full of crap and I can't say that she was completely off. It wasn't like I didn't mean it though. I meant every word of it, even if it did sound cheesy. This girl, this woman. She was doing things to me. Things that I didn't understand, but I certainly didn't want it to stop.
“You can say what you want to, Betty, but I stand by my words.”
“So, what has you up so late at night? Were you not able to sleep?”
I told her that I wasn't and then she asked why. When I mentioned something about us being together, I don't really know what I expected her to do, but I didn't expect her to get all wide-eyed and look at me like I was physically causing her pain.
“I feel bad because you took care of me and made me feel so good. I was sleeping so well when you woke me up.”
I told her that it wasn't doing me any good to hear that and she looked even more stricken.
“I didn't mean for that to happen.”
“For what to happen?”
“You know, for you to be in pain.”
I told her that it wasn't anything that I couldn't live without. I wondered then if I could guilt her into having sex with me. I felt ashamed almost immediately from having the thought, but it certainly had run through my head. That was just how badly I wanted her. I was willing to do, say, about anything that I had to. I wasn't proud of it, but I knew it was the truth.
I asked her if she wanted to take a ride and it looked like she was going to tell me no. She had a good reason of course, because she wasn't even dressed, but instead she agreed, and I wasn't going to try to talk her out of it. I really just wanted to spend time with her.
“Where are we going?”
I told her that I didn't know. “Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?”
“I really want to go swimming. I know that sounds silly, but I'm really going to miss the water and California.”
“Well, how about an inground pool? It's quite big and heated. It would be nice and refreshing.”
She liked the sound of that, and I liked the idea of seeing her in her skivvies. When she wanted to know why we were still leaving in the car, I told her that I had a friend who had a better pool and I thought it would be better for us. The truth was, that I wanted to get her away from her house and away from anything that was going into making her feel like we shouldn't be together. I wanted to get her out of her comfort zone and make her see what I could already see myself. There was something going on between the two of us and we owed it to ourselves to see what it was. I firmly believed that.
She agreed and it was one of the things that I liked about her. She was just so laid back about everything. Most girls would want to know everything, down to the most miniscule detail, but not Betty. She just went along with it like she believed that everything was going to be okay.
I don't even know if it was going to turn out that way, but I knew that any time that we spent together, would be worthwhile in my mind.
When we got to my friend Jeffrey's house, I knew that there wouldn't be any lights on at the house. He was on vacation with his parents and they wouldn't be back for several more days. That meant that we had the house and the pool to ourselves. Nobody around to sidetrack us and no one around to make her overthink anything. I didn't want Betty to decide that the two of us being together wasn’t a possibility.
Betty was impressed with the pool and she only hesitated for a moment before she started taking off her clothes.
I must have given her a certain kind of look because she asked me if I was going to do the same thing.
I started to take my shirt off and I could feel her eyes on me. It wasn't the first time a girl had checked me out obviously, but she was really checking me out, and it made me a little self-conscious, something I never saw myself feeling before.
When I got the rest of my clothes off besides my underwear, I was able to look at her again and see that she was down to just a bra and panties. They were sheer, letting me see a little sneak peek and I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but it certainly felt like it. She was making it impossible to focus on what was going on. I was focused on her jiggling tits and long legs. It felt like what I was supposed to be looking at.
“Wow.”
“You really got to tone it down a little bit. You go a bit overboard.”
“That's because you still think that I'm joking around. I'm not. I don't think I've found anybody as beautiful as you in a very long time. You're a rare gem here in Montana. I have a feeling that you're a rare gem no matter where you are.”
“I have a feeling that you have gotten into a lot of girl’s panties by talking that way.”
I really was being serious, but things that she said and the way that she said them, made me laugh. It was like she didn't know how pretty she was. How was that even possible? How could she go even a day without knowing the desire that people had for her? To me, it was pretty basic. Any woman like her was going to attract all men. Right or wrong, good or bad. Betty was a universally beautiful woman and I couldn’t stop saying it.
We got into the water and although it was a little cold at first, I changed the temperature and made us both a little bit more comfortable. She didn't immediately come toward me. She was a little skittish, actually, and I finally had to say something, because it looked like she was ready to run off.
After awhile though, she came a little closer and there was a playful smile on her face. “You like swimming, don't you?”
“Well, I am a cancer. I just do better in water. When I was little, you'd have to basically drag me out of the lake. Anytime I got a chance, I was there.”
“You should get one. There isn’t too many lakes around here that are going to be the same. Definitely not any ocean.”
“I do need one of these.”
“I know a guy when you're ready.”
“I bet you know a lot of guys. Everyone at the bar seemed to know who you were.”
I agreed and I was still wondering to myself how in the world this was going to work.
She was now so close to me that I couldn't help but pull her into my embrace. She felt so good in my arms and it was one of those feelings where I knew that this was what I was supposed to be doing. This was how I was supposed to feel. It felt like home when she was in my arms.
I leaned down for a kiss and she immediately responded, telling me that I was not completely off my rocker to think that she would want to have more of a relationship that we had at the moment.
After a minute, though, she pulled me away and I heard myself growling at her. I just wanted her so badly and I knew that no matter what, I would play it out as long as I had to. I wasn't above doing what had to be done, even if that meant I would have to wait until my balls were blue.
“You know you're killing me, right?”
Again, she took it so seriously and her eyes got big. “I am really not trying to do anything. I
certainly don't want to make you feel like that.”
“I doubt that you would be able to change it if you wanted to. You're a beautiful woman and I can see how you could get into a guy’s head. You certainly got into mine.”
“I wasn't trying to get in your head.”
“I know you weren't.”
Now I was frustrated, and I blew out my breath, pushing my hair back. She said something about leaving because I was mad, and I told her that I wasn't. The truth was I really wasn't mad at her, I was mad at myself for pushing something that I knew was too soon. I knew I was going to have to have patience.
Before it could go completely downhill, I told her that I wanted her to stay. I was having a good time, we both were, until I had to push my luck. Obviously, it was better just to wait her out. She wouldn't want to hold back forever. I could get her into a situation where satisfaction would be all that she was thinking about. I just wasn't quite there yet.
She stayed and thankfully we got over the initial awkwardness of the moment and we were able to enjoy ourselves. A huge part of me wanted to know why she was so against us being together, but then again, it really didn’t matter what her reasoning was. All that mattered was the fact that she did want to be with me, eventually.
When we got to her house, Betty was quick to get out of the vehicle and again it was like she was practically running away from me. I didn't want to believe it was true, but I could see no other reason for her to act this way. Why was everything so complicated with her?
17
Betty
I was not able to sleep when I got back to my room. I wanted to, I really did. It had been a long evening and now it was early in the morning. I had a job thing early that I had to go to. Father had set it up, and it wouldn’t be acceptable for me to miss it or be late for it. It would not only be rude to the guy that was taking the time to meet with me, but it would also waste father's time and embarrass him. That would be the worst part, so I knew that I had to make sure that I was present.