Blue

by Lisa Glass

  ‘No? That sucks.’

  ‘Oh, we wouldn’t have dreamed of going out and competing with the men.’

  Garrett butted in. ‘Nanna, tell Iris about the tandem.’

  ‘We didn’t surf, but we girls used to ride on the men’s shoulders.’

  ‘How the heck did you get up there?’ I asked.

  ‘They pulled us up, dear. The best girls would do handstands up there. But I used to stand up straight, with my arms out to either side. It was such fun. We all did it then. Because of Marilyn, you know. She started it.’

  Zeke looked at Garrett and shrugged. ‘Was she one of your friends, Nanna?’

  Nanna laughed so hard that she had to wipe a tear away from her eye with a hanky.

  ‘Monroe, of course! When she was Norma Jeane Baker she used to compete at tandem-surfing in California with a handsome surfer called Tommy Zahn. She was supposed to be very good in the water. Very athletic and robust. Never complained about the cold. And it did get cold, you know. Because you’re in the water and out of it so much, you get cold in a flash. But once we knew Marilyn did it, we had to try it too. If it was good enough for Marilyn, it was good enough for us.’

  ‘What was it like?’ I asked.

  ‘Wonderful. Water all around. And you really had to concentrate, else you’d fall off. But of course, Newquay was so different then.’

  ‘Quieter, I guess?’ I said.

  ‘Oh no, dear. It was wild. All of these young men who had dropped out of society and were flipping the bird to the squares. None of your designer labels — no, the boards were like tree trunks, and the wetsuits were so awful back then that they wore woolly jumpers underneath them. None of the money either, just lots of young men living their lives the best way they knew how.’

  Nanna smiled at some far-off memory. Then she said, ‘It’s been so wonderful to have you here this last week, Zeke, my beauty. I was so worried I wouldn’t see you before this dicky heart did me in. And to see you in love too. Well, it’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.’

  I squirmed, and Zeke went very rigid in his seat.

  ‘You know, I fell in love with a surfer once,’ she went on. ‘He had the widest shoulders I ever did see.’ She sat there smiling, and then said, ‘What I’d give to go tandem-surfing again. Just one last time.’

  Sephy looked at Zeke. ‘Will you take Nanna out surfing on your shoulders?’

  Nanna squealed with delight and said, ‘Goodness me, that would be wonderful!’

  Zeke looked totally shocked. ‘You’re kidding me, right?’

  ‘What about you, Garrett?’

  ‘Um, that is kind of crazy. Are you high, Mom?’

  ‘So,’ Sephy said, ‘I’ll take her. I work out.’

  ‘Mom! No.’ Zeke looked horrified at this idea.

  Dave said, ‘Come on, Sephy, you can’t be serious. Mum is seventy-five years old.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘If anyone’s taking her, it’s me.’

  ‘With your sciatica?’ Sephy said. ‘I don’t think so. No, I’ll do it.’

  ‘What if you wipe out? Can Nanna even swim?’ I said.

  Nanna, who’d been wide-eyed and giggling, suddenly said, ‘Of course I can swim.’

  Dave leaned over and asked me to see if I could round up Wes.

  ‘No problem,’ I replied. It had been fab to sit there, listening to the mix of their lovely accents and laughter, but it felt like they deserved some time together, as a family. So I went for a wander through the rest of the house, dodging the milling crowds of partygoers, and tried to find Wes. It was silly for him and Zeke to fall out over a stupid game of Spin the Bottle. After a few laps of the downstairs rooms, I made my way upstairs.

  It was partly nosiness. I thought I would just take a look at Zeke’s bedroom. Not to snoop exactly, but just to see what it looked like. I didn’t even know if he shared a room with his brothers. All the doors were open, though admittedly the last of them was only slightly ajar. The first room was incredibly tidy, painted lilac and turquoise and had all sorts of incense sticks, candles and tarot cards around. This had to be where Dave slept, and it had probably been decorated by his ex, Daisy. The second room had a double bed, which judging by the grotmags and bumper supply of condoms in a massive jar on the nightstand, had to belong to Garrett. At least I hoped so. When I looked in the third bedroom, I saw it was lit only by a single tea light. Two tall figures were standing by the window, the moonlight streaming through and making them a single silhouette. They were tangled together, hands in hair and jeans, kissing. I inhaled so loudly that I thought they would hear. They didn’t. Wrapped up in their own world, they didn’t know they were watched. One of them had fluffy pale hair loose around his face. The other one was … Wes.

  Wes was kissing a GUY?

  I closed the door and bumped into Zeke, who was racing up the stairs.

  ‘You didn’t tell me Wes was …’ I said, and then I came to my senses and shut my mouth.

  Zeke shot me this intense stare. ‘Wes was what?’

  He stood there waiting for me to answer, not moving, hardly breathing; a rabbit in the headlights.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘What were you gonna say?’

  ‘Forget it.’

  ‘He came on to you again?’

  ‘No.’

  If Zeke had known Wes was into guys, he wouldn’t have been so annoyed with him for kissing me during Spin the Bottle. But, in this family that seemed so close, how was it possible that Zeke didn’t know his own brother was gay? Or maybe Wes was just experimenting or something? Maybe that’s why he’d kissed me? To figure something out? Or, in that awkward Spin-the-Bottle moment, had I been his cover?

  ‘You’re really pale, Iris. What happened? Just tell me already.’

  What could I say? I couldn’t tell the truth. If I told him what I saw, it would leave no room for Wes to deny it if he wanted to.

  ‘Oh, is that Kelly?’ I said, ‘I’m just gonna go get my lipgloss back off her.’

  I intercepted her at the buffet table and grabbed her by the wrist. ‘Kelly, we’ve gotta get out of here.’

  ‘No way! This is the best party ever! There’s so much talent in here. Zeke’s brother is a total hottie, by the way. He’s been giving me flirty eyes all night. I’m so in there.’

  ‘Which brother?’

  ‘Garrett, obviously.’

  ‘Why obviously? What’s wrong with Wes?’

  ‘Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with him.’

  ‘You don’t sound very sure about that.’

  ‘Well, you know, I obviously wouldn’t want to be going out with a gay guy, would I?’

  ‘You know he’s gay?’

  ‘Yeah, course.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘It’s none of my business really.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  ‘His boyfriend’s in our yoga class. Elijah. He was the blond guy I was chatting to, the night you met Zeke. I’m getting quite friendly with him now. Course, I didn’t connect Elijah with Wes until I saw the two of them together tonight.’

  ‘Zeke doesn’t know.’

  ‘Well, whatever you do, don’t tell him. It’s up to Wes to tell his family whenever he’s ready. And, you know, he might never be ready to step out of that closet.’

  ‘I literally almost just told Zeke. I am the worst.’

  ‘Iris Fox, what are you like?’

  ‘I know, I know. I made a right mess of covering. Zeke knows something’s up. Come on — we have to leave before this gets any worse.’

  I looked across the room and locked eyes with Zeke. His face was really tense. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Wes approaching, with a couple of giggly girls behind him. Garrett also picked that moment for a stop and chat with his brothers.

  ‘Seriously, Kelly, let’s go.’

  I gave Zeke a hurried wave and made for the door, which was when Zeke’s mother cornered me.

  ‘Iris, I just want
to tell you how happy I am that Zeke has you. He’s always been such a quiet boy, such a raw soul.’

  Yeah, right. I was starting to wonder how well any of this family actually knew each other.

  She had some orange cocktail clutched in her hand, and as she was talking, she was spilling it on to the cream carpet. I didn’t like to say anything so I just watched the falling droplets.

  ‘Sex on the Beach,’ she said suddenly.

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘My drink. Haven’t you tried it? It is fiiiiine. I highly recommend it.’

  ‘I’m underage.’

  ‘I wasn’t talking about the alcohol, honey.’

  There wasn’t much I could say to that, because I was definitely not going to talk about anything sex-related with my sort-of-boyfriend’s mother. With a drink or two inside her, Sephy had turned into Ben Stiller’s mum from Meet the Fockers. Horrifying.

  She dragged me back inside the house, where I saw Kelly had slipped by me and found Garrett again. They were dancing like lunatics on the huge kitchen table with about five other people. It was only a matter of time before one of them lost their balance and fell into the fridge.

  Still, most of them were surfers, which meant they had to have decent balance. And Kelly had at least taken off her stilettos. Headbanging away to Stevie Nicks’s Edge of Seventeen, which was her all-time favourite vintage song, I could see how happy she was. I watched as Garrett smiled at her. Maybe in some alternate universe Kelly would marry Garrett, I’d marry Zeke and we’d be sisters for real.

  Crap. I really was hammered if I was thinking corny stuff like that.

  Zeke’s mum staggered off to the bathroom and I took the chance to leave before Zeke saw me and started cross-examining me again. I ditched the chaos of the party and cleared my head by walking across the dark beach back to my house.

  My mum took one look at me, scowled, but said nothing. She took off my shoes, helped me up the stairs and into a nightshirt and then brought me a glass of water and some aspirin.

  ‘Thanks, Mum. You’re the best,’ I murmured, before swallowing the tablets and passing out.

  chapter seventeen

  The next day I had a shift at Billabong, but thankfully I didn’t have to start until eleven, and even then I managed to be five minutes late as I just couldn’t face running to work when my head was throbbing and my mouth was parched. Late nights, I was starting to think, were just not worth the hassle. But, every half-hour or so, I let myself think about the party: the one second of Zeke’s lips on mine; the shock of seeing Wes kiss Elijah; the sight of Kelly dancing with Garrett; Sephy telling me to be gentle with Zeke; Nanna wowing everyone with her total coolness. And Zeke, again; always back to Zeke. How much did he like me? Did he want me to be his actual girlfriend? Was that possible, or was I just being pathetically optimistic? It seemed crazy on paper, but when we hung out together, Zeke made me feel like he was into me.

  Luckily work was mental, which helped limit my obsessing. The ‘King of the Groms’ contest for surfers under ten years old was being held at the north end of the beach, so there were a lot of people about and tons of families coming into the shop, dropping big bucks on the new line of T-shirts and trainers for their wonder kids.

  I had just bagged up some clothes for one family and charged the dad’s Visa to the tune of £320, which seemed ridiculous to me, when I saw that the next person waiting in line was Wes.

  He had a nice blue-and-yellow beaded necklace in his hand that I’d been eyeing up for weeks.

  ‘Hi, Iris,’ he said.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘I didn’t think you’d be so busy.’

  ‘Neither did I. Forgot about the grom contest. That always gets a bit manic.’

  I scanned the necklace and said, ‘That’s eighteen pounds, please.’

  He stuck his card into the reader, entered his pin and I said, ‘I bet Sephy will love that.’

  ‘It’s not for my mom.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said, handing him the bag.

  He handed it back to me. ‘It’s for you. I’m super-sorry about what happened last night. I don’t know what I was thinking. Peace offering?’

  ‘Don’t be silly. You don’t have to get me a present. No peace offering required. It was just a stupid game.’

  ‘I’ve paid for it now, so you gotta take it.’

  ‘You sure? I can refund it for you.’

  ‘It’s yours.’

  ‘That’s really sweet. Thanks.’

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘Have you seen Zeke today?’

  ‘Yeah, he was pissy with me over breakfast, but Pa took us all for a round of golf and after Zeke broke the course junior record, and I’d come in last, he seemed to buck up.’

  I laughed and then caught the eye of my boss. Billy was gesturing to the queue of restless people behind Wes. Wes turned and saw Billy’s stressfest.

  ‘I should bounce before I get you in trouble. See ya later, Iris.’

  ‘Thanks again, and have a nice day.’

  I told Billy that one of the customers had bought me a gift, and although he raised his eyebrows as if there was something deeply dodgy about that, he let me take off the tags and wear the necklace over my Billabong T-shirt.

  I didn’t get home until eight, as my mum had texted me a long shopping list of groceries to pick up from Sainsbury’s. By the time I had lugged it all home and packed everything into the kitchen cupboards, I could barely keep my eyes open.

  I stretched out on my bed and replied to a few ‘Hope ur OK’-type texts from Kelly, and a really apologetic one from Zeke saying Anders had sprung some last-minute Ireland trip on him, but that he’d be back in a day or two.

  Zeke being out of town for a little while maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing, as it would give me a chance to work out how I was going to deal with the Wes situation.

  Yawning every three seconds, I put down my phone and watched a bit of the local news. A blonde chick was reporting from Fistral on the contest, which was apparently won by a five-year-old boy from Perranporth. A future Zeke there.

  I pulled my dressing gown over my cold legs and figured I’d just close my eyes for five minutes before having a shower, brushing my teeth and changing into my pyjamas.

  I woke up, ten hours later, to Kelly tickling my nose with a gull feather.

  chapter eighteen

  ‘Take me surfing,’ she said.

  ‘Aaargh.’

  ‘Do you have plans with Zeke or something?’

  ‘Nah, he’s away for a couple of days at some big wave spot in Ireland for a Billabong party.’

  ‘Come on then! I wanna stand up on a real surfboard.’

  Kelly liked to kayak and bodyboard, but I’d been gagging to get her on to a proper surfboard for years.

  I sat up and looked at my alarm clock: six thirty.

  ‘Right this second?’

  She gave me a big hopeful grin.

  ‘Well, I s’pose you do have the same first name as the greatest surfer ever.’

  ‘Do I? Who’s she then?’

  ‘You are joking? He is eleven-time World Surfing Champion, Mr Kelly Slater.’

  ‘Oh yeah, I forgot him. To be fair, that is a proper girls’ name.’

  ‘No, it’s not, and anyway that’s his middle name. His actual first name is Robert, but Kelly’s cooler.’

  ‘Wow, I totally have a classic surfer name. Come on, let’s go get wet.’

  ‘Is this so you can go surfing with Garrett?’

  ‘Yep. So you have to teach me,’ she said, grinning and pulling me out of bed.

  ‘All right, all right. So, what have you two been up to anyway?’

  ‘We’ve hung out, and that’s all I’m saying,’ she said, zipping her lips. I knew she’d tell me more when she was ready, but she was superstitious about new relationships and wouldn’t say much until she was sure.

  The beach was busy, and one of the lifeguards was bombing about on a jet ski, really close to shore and cau
sing huge wakes. Seemed like he was playing more than lifeguarding, bouncing the jet ski over the breakers and only just missing kids, dogs and tourists by the skin of his teeth.

  A swell was due in, but the surf was still pretty small. Nice waist-high crumbling waves that were perfect to learn on. I got Kelly a foam swell board, which she couldn’t hurt herself on, and I tried to explain to her about good paddling, the importance of arching your back and keeping your shoulders still while relaxing the muscles. Getting a nice plane through the water was the main thing. Paddling was a skill that took years to master properly, but I figured I could give her a decent head start by pointing out her errors.

  ‘You need to move back a bit,’ I said. ‘You’re too far up on the board and the nose is going to dig into the sea and send you arse over tit.’ She shuffled down the board and the tail began to drag, slowing her down. ‘Up a notch,’ I said.

  Eventually she centred her weight so that the board was floating nicely.

  ‘OK, you need to make your hands into cups, dig deep and pull back to your waist. You want the board to maintain a nice steady speed as it glides over the water.’

  Since she was a total beginner, there was no way I was taking her out into the line-up. That was the sort of crazy that I’d leave for clueless kooks.

  ‘I wanna go out with the hot surfer dudes!’ she moaned.

  ‘Firstly, if you’re not good at moving your board around in the blink of an eye, which you’re not as you’re just starting out, you’ll get in somebody’s way. A surfer who is up and riding always has the right of way, and if a beginner can’t, or won’t, get out of the way, and the surfer riding the wave isn’t able to bail quickly enough, then that beginner could be dead. Surfboards are a major hazard. Even experienced surfers get hurt. And those fins on the bottom of the board are razor sharp. I’ve cut my hands and feet more times than I can remember. You will only be riding the whitewater.’

  ‘OK, the whitewater is my friend, got it.’

  ‘When a nice little wave that you like the look of is coming, you turn your board onshore, and then when the wave is ten yards away you start paddling.’

  ‘How will I know when to jump up?’

  ‘You might not be able to pop up properly yet, so when your board’s caught the momentum of the wave, you’ll feel the bite, and then you’ll straighten your arms in the push-up position, scoot your knees forward, get on one knee, and stand. You want both feet in line, back foot near the tail of the board, front foot halfway up. You’ll ride that wave straight to shore, and repeat. OK?’