by Ko Hiratori
“But I only did it because your body language said you wanted me to kiss you!”
“It did not!”
Kizuha’s cackling made me feel a bit sick.
But my secret hangout in the unwholesome shed with the girl, Dick, and the drugs continued. I felt like I was doing something I could never tell Mama Lupe about.
But it was summer.
In a world with no air conditioners, the mix of strange pleasure and guilt felt a bit like a cool breeze. I never had any friends in my old world to do bad stuff like this with. So I thought,It’s summer.
“Dick got bigger, huh?”
I still couldn’t help reacting as if she was talking about my crotch, but spending time in the brothel’s backyard with Kizuha and Dick had become a habit.
Dick was growing up fast, like a puppy growing into a dog. Pretty soon I’d have to pixelate him out.
“Yeah, he has quite an appetite lately.”
We were using boldgrass laundry detergent as his food, but now he gobbled up a whole bag at a time. We didn’t know what Dick’s optimal weight was, so we were just letting him eat as much as he wanted.
“We’re getting to the point where it’s going to be hard to hide him, don’t you think? Let’s take him to my house.”
“Huh? No. We’re keeping him here. I’m his mommy.”
“I’m sure Dick doesn’t like being locked up in this cramped shed. You probably don’t know, but a sweaty dick is so annoying; it’s like having a steamed frog in your pan—”
“You’re way more annoying!”
“Oww!”
She bit my hand. Damned ogre princess.
“Then should we let him out?” She said something crazy as she licked the teeth marks she left on my right hand.
“We can’t possibly do that. What if someone found him?”
“We can just say it’s a dick. Yours. Okay, that’s settled. Let’s get up really early tomorrow and meet here.”
“Whaaat? Are you even listening to what I said?”
“It’s settled! We decided!”
Pushy Kizuha’s plan was to go to the lake.
I was worried someone would see us, but the only people there were fishing or doing laundry, so if we kept our distance we would just look like a couple who had brought our pet out. Thus, Kizuha, Dick, and I played by the edge of the lake.
Dick was all excited to be outside and exposed to the shining sun. And Kizuha was enchanted by him.
She rubbed him as he lounged, and she said to me, “You’re kinda weird, huh?”
“Well, weird, or people often call me eccentric, or a genius. That said, I feel like I only point out the obvious.”
“But you think animals are cute even though you’re a man. And you don’t hit me.”
“Isn’t that pretty normal? Anyone who hits a girl is the lowest of the low. I would never raise my hand against a woman, a kid, or a cute animal.”
“Weird. Then you don’t need to hit men either.”
“Huh? But then I’d lose my job...or like, the cool thing about me.”
“Is the reason you don’t hit kids because you like them...?”
“Do I...like them? I mean, cute kids are cute. If they listen, I like them.”
I had played with kids of relatives before. We gamed together.
I wasn’t opposed to that sort of thing. Maybe in this world I could find a promising youngster and teach them fencing. I already hit my level cap, so maybe being the one to cultivate a hero would be a happy ending for me.
“I kinda get what you mean. When I look at Dick, it makes me think I might want kids.”
“Nah, you should emphatically not. There’s no way you could raise kids.”
“I’d make Lupe do it. I’ll specialize in pampering.”
“I’m serious—don’t do it.”
“Shall I have one for you?”
“What?”
“A baby, of course. Yours.” When I froze up, she laughed. “I’m just kidding. Don’t take that seriously, stupid.”
I exhaled intending to laugh, but ended up choking.
No, no. I’m not flustered. Why would I be? That was a dumb joke. My face isn’t hot or anything, and my heart isn’t pounding. On the contrary, it’s not making a sound.
“Mww.”
“Mmwwww?!”
She stole another kiss.Crap, more poppybat blood?
Braced for suspended animation, I protected the back of my head with an arm so I wouldn’t hit it when I fell down. But I didn’t.
It was just a kiss.
“...I guess we should head back.”
She abruptly left, carrying Dick.
I moved my arm from the back of my head to my lips, but then decided not to wipe them off. Being kissed didn’t weird me out—although I didn’t know why that was.
But while we were having those sappy TV drama moments, the one enjoying himself the most was Dick. He started wanting to go out all the time.
“There’s nothing to do but let him play in the backyard early in the morning and whatnot.”
“But I’m telling you, we’ll be in trouble if anyone sees him!”
“I’m making sure no one sees him, so we’re fine!”
It washersaying it was fine, so it was definitely not fine.
Dick’s appetite and growth knew no bounds. He ate his morning and evening meals, but then even started nibbling on the panties the girls were drying outside while he was playing. It was the boldgrass. They leave the boldgrass until their items are done drying and then brush it off, which made them Dick’s favorite snack.
I learned about that after it became a whole issue, but apparently Kizuha had been letting him do as he liked because,A pair or two here and there won’t matter.
Dick’s spit is white and sticky. Apparently she would just throw them out when she found any covered in it. Neglecting my responsibility as a pet owner had come back to bite me.
“What should I do? I blinked and he spooged all over every single pair!”
“Don’t say ‘spooge.’ And why did you leave him alone long enough for that to happen? Training is the owner’s job!”
There was no way to gloss over that many pairs, so I told her to wash them. But Kizuha has rocks for brains, so she said she had never done laundry before. She even told me to ask Mama Lupe. As if I could do that!
Since I had no other choice, I decided to wash them myself. I took the whole bunch to my house and scrubbed each pair one by one, but it took a while because I kept thinking stuff like,Whoa, this is so lewd, and,Holy crap, this is what Haru and Mama Lupe wear?
And then after confirming no one was around, I was going to put them near the drying pole when I got caught in that most classic of traps, a pitfall.
“Oh, it’s you? You walking sexual curiosity.”
Why are you some kind of violent Showa-era heroine? I’m begging you—please read contemporary manga and light novels. Update your image of a powerful woman!
And I got treated like a panty-thief, which was totally bewildering. I would never do that! I’m not even interested in panties! They’re just scraps of the best fabric ever.
But when the commotion started drawing the other employees, I saw Kizuha among them and gave up.Dammit, I’ll let you handle this. Hide Dick somewhere. He might get agitated from all the hubbub and go wild.
I never thought eye contact would work, but Kizuha nodded and disappeared off somewhere. Haru shocked me with her turtle shell-style bondage skills and then threw me straight into the shed where Dick used to be.Good thing we moved him.
Now all I need to do is rip apart this rope....huh?
Why do I feel so weak?
She had wrapped me up perfectly. It wasn’t too tight, but she had all the important points under pressure. I couldn’t move my joints, and it seemed like I would never be able to slip out.
Isn’t she a bit too good at bondage? Do prostitutes learn this sort of thing at work? Do they take requests? I’ll have to make
an order before heading into the shop.
I heard the back wall open, and light poured in.You finally showed up, buddy? Took you long enough! But I appreciate it.
“...” Kizuha looked crankier than I’d ever seen her before. “So, I know you spend on Lupe, but do you sleep with that sassy chick, too?”
“Mm, you mean Haru? Well, yeah. A long time ago.”
Well, I was sleeping with her, but frankly, she was my first. And we hadn’t been doing it since we had a fight that one time. I think it’s because things are going well between me and Mama.
“I can’t believe this. Ihateher, and I hate any guy who sleeps with her.” Kizuha got even more irritated and came to grab the nape of my neck.No, how about you undo these ropes instead? Whether you get along with her or not has nothing to do with me!
“She’s always palling around with Lupe. Lupe’s so nice to everyone, but she took advantage of that and is hogging her for herself—even though Lupe’s going to bemymama! She’s trying to steal her away from us! It’s so unfair!”
I don’t know what kind of lives they live normally. But I don’t think Mama Lupe and Kizuha get along.
True, Mama is kind and admirable, and though she looks like a loli, she has such strong maternal instincts that her life itself is sacred. But she nitpicks pretty harshly, and I also know that she chooses who she spends time with and isn’t so nice to just anyone.
I thought at first that Kizuha seemed like Haru. But now I know that they’re totally different.
I don’t think Mama Lupe likes Kizuha. I mean, for a new character, her personality is too intense. What is this, theDragon Quest Vremake or something?
“She probably annoys you too, right? I think we should drive her out of here already. Why does she think she’s so important even though she’s new?”
But it’s not as if Kizuha doesn’t understand other people. She just wants to think in ways that are convenient for her. That’s pretty common. There are definitely people like that. I’ve known some.
Ahh, I think I figured out why I can’t see Kizuha as a woman. Not that I would ever say it aloud.
“Yeah, Haru does annoy me. I’m always being nice to her, but she doesn’t understand me at all. She still only sees me as an otaku stereotype even though I’ve changed here. I’ve been learning and growing too.”
“Right, I totally get what you mean.”
“She just has a knack for handling stuff, so she thinks she can do anything herself. She doesn’t even know how much I contribute to her ability to lead a peaceful life. And when she was a new low-level prostitute, I’m the one who helped her learn. And she doesn’t even understand that! How would she ever get along in this other world without me?”
“Yeah... Huh?”
“But I think maybe that’s what has changed about her since coming here. I observed her every day in the classroom, so I know what I’m talking about. She’s stronger now, or maybe she’s the real Haru now? I’m not about to let her get ahead of me, but when I look at her, sometimes I wonder if I’ve developed as much as I think I have. It’s like...sometimes she seems to really shine here.”
“Umm, what are you even talking about? Say things I can understand, thanks.”
“Basically, I’m too far behind to be able to talk shit. I’m the one who knows the most about her. Haru Koyama is my friend.”
Kizuha squinted.Prostitutes are capable of showing that much emotion?
This is why you’ll never sell.
“...So you’re taking her side?”
“I’m not an enemy or an ally. I’m just more than a classmate, less than a soulmate. And that goes for you, too.”
“Huh?”
“If I heard someone bad-mouthing you, I’d probably feel sick. It’s the same. I don’t want to hear it, that’s all.”
Kizuha sighed and moved away from me. Then she took out a flask of poppybat blood and took a swig.
“Ahhhhh...” A sensual exhalation.That’s great and all, but could you untie me?
“You’re so weird. ‘Don’t bad-mouth people.’ What are you, a little kid?”
“Shut up, you’ll make me blush.”
“About the only girl who doesn’t talk shit is Lupe. I can’t be as strong as her. It’s impossible for me.”
Mama Lupe is an angel, so it’s only natural for her to be like that. A normal girl doesn’t have a soul that pure, so yeah, it’s impossible.
But Kizuha said, “I know.” When I looked up, she had come closer. “If you don’t like it, then fine, I’ll stop. But in return, you can’t talk about her anymore. Only talk about me with me.”
She took a sip of poppybat blood and leaned in.
“Mngh...”
Her tongue went in, and I blacked out.
Still turtle-tied.
*
{T minus 00:00:05 to being transported to another world}
“Koyama!”
It’s weird to think,Been a while since I’ve been in this dream, but I hadn’t been force-fed any blood in a bit.
The nostalgic scenery of my old world... I sort of wanted to show Haru. But this is a secret I can’t tell her. And I have to get through the gamble of suspended animation. I mean, I had no choice in the matter, but still.
I dodged Baseball Mob when he came from behind.How many times have I done this now? Gimme a break.
{T minus 00:00:04 to being transported to another world}
And after this, Sekiguchi and Baseball Mob collide. That far is fine.What I wanted to know was the outcome of the what-if after this.
If I didn’t save Haru, which one of us would the truck send to the other world?
Even if it’s just a dream, I want to be sure. I want to know that I was the one summoned to another world, that becoming a hero in another world isn’t just a fantasy.
The cola bottle rolled across the asphalt.Is this really a dream? Even the smells are so realistic.
I got scared. Because if this was reality, I knew it would let me down.
{T minus 00:00:03 to being transported to another world}
With its wheels still audibly slipping, the truck headed right for us without slowing down at all.
Behind me, someone screamed. But I didn’t run. Not until the truck decided which of us it was aiming for.
Even in the dream, I remembered that other world. I knew it was the worst, so I definitely wanted to be confident and go to the next. Because I was the chosen one.
But then—shit!
I took off running. Desperately, because I got a late start.
Haru was the chosen one.
With its skidding tires, the tilting truck was headed straight for her.
It was trying to take Haru Koyama, the number one kid in our class, the Miss JK rep, the girl with the studly boyfriend; she was even popular with kids from other schools.
It was trying to take her to the other world she hated so much—and all by herself.
{T minus 00:00:02 to being transported to another world}
“God dammiiiiiiit!”
I didn’t want to know. I shouldn’t have tested it. I wasn’t the chosen one. It was just an accident.
Even though God gave me cheat skills. Even though he said I could be a candidate for hero. He didn’t give Haru anything! Or was it because I’m weak? Did he take pity on me?
This is all wrong. The other world should have picked me. It should have left Haru in the old one. That world is awful for women.What do you think she’ll have to do when she gets there to survive?Turtle-bondage.
Don’t go. You can’t. Stop.
Take me. Take me to the other world, too. I’m begging you...
{T minus 00:00:01 to being transported to another world}
Who’s this guy, again?
The world turned gray, and I tasted iron.
That flavor was a miserable relief.
*
When I opened my eyes, feeling like utter crap, I was on a dusty floor.
This is the other world
and thatotherworld was a dream. When I first got here, I used to wake up every morning shouting,This other world rocks! I’m winning at life!
But I felt like I would never have a morning like that ever again. I was about to cry.
“That was a little scary, maybe...”
I heard something swaying as well as the voice. I hadn’t realized it, but there was someone else there.
When I looked up, I saw panties.
The other world is the best.
My emotions were splintering after the weird dream, but this healed them right back up. I remembered my situation. Those panties and that butt had to belong to Mama Lupe. I was inside the shed.
Apparently Mama had found Kizuha’s secret entrance; she was leaving through it.
Wait, did she see me in suspended animation? Did she find out I was a social poppybat blood drinker?If that were the case, Kizuha, Dick, and everything might come out, too... That would be all kinds of awful.
I could hear Dick’s little insect-like cry. When I turned just my head to look, the tip of Dick and Kizuha’s hand were waving from the pitfall I had gotten trapped in earlier.
Thankfully, my lower body wasn’t tied up. I zoomed out of the shed and dove into the pit. It was a good hiding place.
Holding Dick, Kizuha gazed at me with upturned eyes. I thought I should complain about how whenever she got emotional she made me drink blood, but I decided to just thank her for pointing out this spot to me for the time being.
“Thanks.”
“Mm.” She squeezed Dick and buried her face in him.Mydick twitched.
More importantly though, what’s going on? The blood and Dick and everything is still a secret, right?
“Whaaaaaaat?!”
I heard two girls scream in the shed.What? What’s going on?
I tried to poke my head out, but Kizuha pulled me back down. “What’ll you do if they find you? Please just stay hidden.”
“But what’s even going on? Is it really okay for us to hide here like this?”
“There’s no time, so I’ll explain later. For now, no one knows about Dick or the poppybat blood. But next they might look in my room, so put Dick back in the shed. If I don’t get back there, we could have issues.”