Taming The Ringmaster

by Erin O'Kane

  Jessie kisses my cheek before hopping up and racing away. Rex cups my face and lays a soft kiss on my lips before getting to his feet, leaving just Blain and me. He hauls me to my feet gently and turns me to face his chest, his hands going to my hair. He works through the knots and tangles there, meticulously taking his time until he can wash it, and then he baths my body, making sure to get rid of all the evidence of today.

  I let him, just leaning against his strength, and when he flicks off the shower, I shiver from the cold, finally noticing it. He rips off his shirt, drying me with it before pulling me to the middle of the room, where him and Rex dress me. Rex kneels at my feet and I lean my hand on his shoulder as he picks up my foot and places it in my trousers before lifting the other, laying gentle kisses on my ankles as he goes. He pulls them up and smooths them over my hips before kissing my belly. Blain pulls my top over my head and rights it before wringing out my hair and twisting it onto my head so it is out of my face.

  When they are done, I feel more human. “Thank you,” I whisper.

  “Don’t get all sappy on me, Harpy,” Blain jokes, and I crack a smile at him. Relief flits through his eyes at that. “You can thank me with a kiss though, gotta say I missed this mouth.” He winks and I know he is just trying to distract me and it works. He kisses me hard for a moment before Rex nudges him out of the way.

  “You handsy prick, I missed her mouth too,” Rex states before kissing me softly, brushing butterfly pecks on my lips before pulling back and wiggling his eyebrows at me, making me giggle.

  Their shoulders relax a fraction, and it’s only then I realise how worried they were about me, so I make the effort. I reach across and grab both of their hands and squeeze. “Let’s eat.”

  Blain leads the way as Nix and Xavier fall behind us, my hands still held in Rex’s and Blain’s as we head into the eating area. Jessie is at our table with all the trays there, so I head over and plop into a spot, picking up the spoon and just playing with the gruel, but when Xavier glares from me to the food, I take a mouthful and swallow as if to say, see? His lips curl up a fraction before it disappears, and I force myself to eat. The others do the same, but they are quieter, madness hanging in the air and worry in their eyes.

  “I’m fine, I promise,” I finally say, and they nod, believing me, and once I say it, it’s true. I do think I lost a part of myself today in the arena, and I will always have to live with their deaths, but I survived it and I can survive this.

  Sometimes you need to break in order to put yourself back together again, stronger and sturdier than before. There might be some cracks along the surface, but it will only highlight the battles you have won.

  Once we have finished eating, I let my gaze wander around the slaves, and it catches on Jacob. He nods at me and then stands, purposely passing me as he goes to take his tray back. “We won’t let it stand, we will fight back,” he whispers.

  What does he mean?

  I turn to ask him, but he is gone. I spin back to the others to see if they heard him, but they are lost in their food. Fight back? Like…like a rebellion of sorts? Where does that leave me?

  I’m no fighter, but I won’t lie down and die, so if joining a rebellion is what it takes, then sign me up. It’s time to put a stop to this and save my family before there is nothing left of us to save.

  I don’t get time to corner Jacob before we are led back to our cells again, informed there won’t be any fighting today. I wait on my mat, hoping Chester will come and get me. I need information about Alcide and he’s the only one I can get it from.

  I wait for hours in the same spot and just as I start to give up hope, Tobias heads my way and unlocks my cell.

  “You have a visitor,” is all he says, and I get to my feet, throwing Nixon a smile on the way to let him know I’m okay. I feel his and Xavier’s eyes burning a hole into my back as I am led past the cells and to our usual meeting room at the back. He is waiting with the chess board set up when Tobias shuts the door behind me, and I slip into my seat and wait.

  It feels like so long ago since I was first brought in here. I thought the worst then, but now? Now I feel in charge. Chester needs me and that works to my advantage. I don’t speak straight away, I lull him into a sense of security. Instead, I make my move and watch as he considers the board before making his. He sits back, finally raising his eyes and looking me over.

  “Are you okay?” he inquires, making me jump at the suddenness of his question.

  “Would it matter if I wasn’t?” I counter bitterly, but seeing him flinch makes me sigh. Truthfully, I’m not okay, but I need to keep Chester on my side and make him think I’m playing his game. “I’m not, but I will be. It wasn’t easy killing that man and I know it will haunt me.”

  “You gave him a mercy. They would have left him there in the heat to bake to death or bleed out,” he informs me sadly, watching me. “You won’t forget his face, you will see it every night in your dreams, but you will come to terms with it, everyone always does.”

  “Like you? Did you come to terms with losing her?” I ask out of the blue, and he drops his gaze again.

  “No, I guess I haven’t. When you lose someone you love, there is no healing from that. All you can do is keep moving, the pain a constant reminder until one day, you start to remember the good and the beginning, not just the bad and the way it ended.”

  “You miss her,” I whisper, softening.

  “Every minute of every day. I still turn to share things with her or tell her of the sights I have seen before I remember she isn’t there. It’s just a split second, but in that second I feel whole again until it comes crashing down around me,” he admits.

  I move my chess piece and then cover his hand on the board. “I’m sorry that you lost her. How did it happen?” I query, pushing for details. He looks at my hand and I slowly withdraw it, and he blinks before seeming to shake it off.

  “I shouldn’t—” He cuts off, staring at me.

  “Just like I shouldn’t be sitting here playing, but I am. Like you said, I’m safe in here. So are your secrets, who would I tell? Entertain me, distract me from my own morality issues for a while. Please,” I add, begging slightly, and I do mean it. I need to focus on something else, and with his pain and compassion, Chester just might be that. When I understand him, I can control him.

  “I guess you’re right, there is no harm in telling you.” He sits back then, crossing his legs as he looks at me. “You might not believe me, Rhea, but she was like you.”

  “Like me?” I repeat with a frown.

  “A freak, her mother wasn’t, we don’t know how it happened. It was just her, it didn’t even start at birth, so we had no idea until it was too late. She was growing so quickly and so were her powers. They manifested and we instructed her to hide them, to protect her, since we knew what kind of people we lived with, and the games here had just started, but like anything...hiding doesn’t work. That control broke, and when it did...there was no putting it back. She was out shopping with a friend, she saw someone get hurt. She just wanted to save them, Rhea, that’s all she ever wanted, to help people.” His eyes mist then. “She could seal wounds and heal people, and without thought she healed that man, only for him to turn around and turn her over to the guards. When the others found out, I was punished for lying to them, for withholding information. They used her to remind me of their control. They threw her in the ring.” He looks right into my eyes. “She wasn’t like you, she couldn’t survive it, she couldn’t even protect herself. Didn’t even try. She saw the brutality and the horror, and she became a shell. She sat there and died before my eyes. It was my punishment, to watch her be killed for entertainment, of course, not before they had their fun—” He chokes off then, sucking in a deep breath.

  “It was a lesson I will never forget, Rhea. They control everyone and everything. No one escapes them, ever. I fell into line, I became the perfect puppet. Did everything and anything they wanted to protect the rest of my family
, but my wife, she couldn’t forgive me or live with the guilt. She killed herself. My son is all I have left, and they know it. They brought him into this, made him like them. I see it every day, the way he’s changing. He doesn’t know what they did to his sister or maybe he doesn’t care, I don’t know anymore. I’m alone, Rhea, I had everything a man could want and then it was taken from me just like that.”

  I find tears in my own eyes, not for him, but for that poor girl. She was tortured and killed simply for wanting to help someone, for being born the way she was. This world is wrong when the very body you were born into is used against you. They couldn’t fight this anymore than they could fight nature, yet we are punished for being who we truly are. None of it should matter.

  Not the colour of skin, sexuality, or the powers we are born with...yet it does. It’s time that changed.

  “I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what to say,” I murmur, watching him as he falls apart. He wipes his eyes and clears his throat, looking away, his eyes seeing into the distance.

  “You see now, don’t you? Why you will never be free? Why I can’t help you?” His eyes focus on me again and I nod. I do. He can’t help us, not physically, but he will without even realising it.

  We carry on the game in silence until I break it. “Can I ask you something?”

  He inclines his head.

  “My friend, Alcide...is he okay?”

  He glances up at me, ignoring the board, obviously trying to see through my expression. “He’s safe, if that is what you mean.”

  “I haven’t seen him,” I remark, still trying to dig for information. After seeing him in the Masters’ box and hearing the other guys’ comments, I don’t know what to feel. He’s our ringmaster, our family, he wouldn’t leave us. He has to be playing an angle, using his charm...but what for? To get us free? Why couldn’t he tell us that?

  “I believe he is assisting the Masters with some matters, nothing for you to worry about. He is becoming quite invaluable to them,” he says distractedly, moving his next piece. “Checkmate.” He grins up at me.

  I swallow, nodding with a fake smile. “Good move,” I praise, but my heart is racing and my mind whirling...invaluable to them?

  It begs the question, how well do I really know Alcide?

  I was escorted back to my cell after that and locked back in by Tobias. As he was turning to leave, I caught his hand on the bars. “Tobias?” I whisper.

  He looks around before narrowing his eyes on me. “Sorry, I just wanted to know if my animals were okay.” When I don’t think he’s going to answer, I grip his hand desperately. “Please, I just want to know, they are my family,” I murmur brokenly. It’s killing me that I can’t be there to protect them.

  He sighs, his gaze darting around again before he lowers his head slightly. “They are okay, they can’t make them fight so they are just in holding, but that won’t last forever. If they can’t use them, they will kill them. I’m sorry,” he offers and walks away, leaving me staring after him. I won’t let that happen. I don’t have long. I need to do something. But what? How do I get us free?

  Sighing, I slump against the back wall, my head leaning against the stone as I think through our options. The main issue is the shackles we have. If we could get rid of them, we could overwhelm the guards. Then I remember the other day, and how I managed a trickle of power even through the shackles. Sitting upright, I turn so my back is to the cell bars and I am facing the wall, shielding what I’m trying.

  I see Nixon watching me, and Xavier turns his head and stares as well, but I focus on my power. Holding my hands out in front of me, the light of the torches only just reaching where I’m huddled, I gaze at the brassy shackles before closing my eyes and reaching deep within myself, searching for that spark of power.

  It seems to elude me, like smoke trickling through my hands. As soon as I think I have it, it drifts away again, blocked from me by the power of the shackles. I wonder how they made them. How do they keep my powers from me? I need to remember to ask Chester. As if he can hear my thoughts, Xavier’s voice comes from the cell next to mine.

  “It won’t work, the men have tried everything. Breaking them, burning them, snapping them. They are indestructible, and even when your hands are cut off, they stay on your skin, I’ve seen it happen,” he rumbles.

  I turn my head to see him and frown. “What else do you know about them?”

  He eyes me again and I let him. If he thought I had given up on trying to escape then he is a fool. I will never accept these bars and cells. I will be free no matter what it takes. He nods like he can see my determination. “Just what I have pieced together over the years,” he starts, then looks around when we hear boots. When they fade, he slides closer and lowers his voice so even I can barely hear him.

  I scoot closer, his breath wafting over my face and his dark eyes locked on mine, making me shiver before I focus on his words. “It isn’t magic or shielding, it’s a power,” he continues, and for some reason my eyes keep dropping to his plump lips. He goes quiet so I drag my gaze back up and it clashes with his. We both freeze, just staring into each other’s eyes before I look away.

  “A power?” I prompt, my voice rougher than I intended.

  “Yes,” he rasps, his voice deep like rocks crashing together, and if I didn’t know better, I swear I see his lips curl up as he glances down at my own. “A freak, one with nullifying powers, was found. He could drain anyone else’s powers away, make them nothing but a dud, a norm. They found a way to harness that, a tailor or crafter in the city. The only freak they allow to be free so he can work for them.”

  “How do you know this?” I ask, curious.

  “Secrets, Rhea, people’s lips are loose after they get what they want. They trade in flesh down here. I had no choice, so I made the most of it,” is all he says, and I see the anger vibrating his body. “So you can’t break them.”

  “What about not trying to break them off but to work around them?” I mumble, closing my eyes and focusing again, blocking it all out.

  I did it before, my emotions were heightened, maybe that’s what I need. So I recall it all, all my fear, anger. I picture Nixon fighting, my animals being hurt. Recall the terror when I was dragged from my cage. I feel it moving under my skin, but I don’t open my eyes, not wanting to break that connection. I add more and more, every slight against us, letting the emotions rush through me until I hear a sharp breath, then I blink open my eyes, staring at my hands. I grin, noting they have changed to stone like the wall I face.

  Xavier seems to perk up then, watching me intently. “Impossible,” he whispers.

  “Nothing is impossible if you try hard enough and come from the right angle. You said this is a power, a nullifying power, but a power nonetheless. Every power has a weakness and a way around it. I just need to find that.”

  I close my eyes again, pushing through that barrier. It seems emotions heightened my power, which I already knew, but if they are strong enough, I can bypass the nullifying effects of the shackles. They have to be strong though, I can’t fake them, and it is draining as I gather all the bad memories and things that have happened in my life and push them through my body, dragging my power from it. When I open my eyes again, the stone has traced all the way up my arms and I’m exhausted.

  Letting out a shaky breath, I turn and lean against the wall, gathering my strength. “I’ll keep trying, there has to be a way,” I whisper, and Nixon reaches through the bars and strokes my hair, making me close my eyes in bliss.

  I must fall asleep, because when I wake up, my neck is aching from leaning against the wall in an awkward position. The cells are dark and snores sound through the air, so I sigh and lay down on my bed, curling around Nixon’s hand he still has through the bars, and close my eyes again.

  “Wake the fuck up, slaves! Chow time!” comes a yell, which jerks me from a deep sleep. Sitting upright, I forget where I am for a second until Trent bangs his baton on my cell, making me jump and he
laughs and walks away. Rubbing my eyes, I stretch as I stand up, sharing a soft look with Nixon as our cells are opened and we head to the bathrooms, falling into our routines.

  I pee quickly and then so does Nixon. I spot Xavier already in the shower and my eyes catch on his peachy arse before I drag my gaze away and stare at the floor. What is wrong with me? As soon as Nixon is done, I rush from the bathrooms to escape a naked Xavier and head to our table where Jessie, Blain, and Rex are waiting.

  They already have our bowls and cups there, so I slump down between Jessie and Rex, leaning my head on Rex’s shoulder. He kisses my forehead as Jessie twines our fingers under the table while he eats. “Anyone seen Alcide?” I ask.

  “Nope,” Blain says around a yawn, and Rex sighs against me.

  “I’m sure he’s okay, Wildcat,” he whispers, and I nod and perk up, forcing myself to eat. I’m still lethargic, whether from the fight or all the emotions and pushing yesterday, I don’t know.

  Once we are done eating, we all sit around, our muscles tense, knowing they will soon announce who is fighting today. It seems we wait with bated breath, and a bad feeling balls in the bottom of my stomach until Trent stands up in front of us.

  “Fighting today—Pretzel boy, Ray, and Hatchet,” he calls, and my eyes swing to Jessie, fear roaring to life as I grip his hand tighter.

  He sits up straighter, grinning at me. “Don’t look so worried, Firecracker, I’ll kick their ass and be back in time for wet shower cuddles.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I crack a smile, but my heart isn’t in it. It’s clenching in my chest at the thought of him getting hurt.

  Unlike Blain and Rex, Jessie isn’t a fighter. He’s powerful in his own way and he only seems to be getting stronger, but these other fighters are brutal and bloodthirsty, they seem to thrive on hurting others. His teasing, flexible body, and showmanship won’t help him here. “Promise me you’ll fight with everything in you? Don’t hold back,” I beg, searching his eyes.