The Reality of Wright and Wrong

by Leddy Harper

  Arguing with him would be futile. He’d never let it go until he got what he wanted, and right now, he wanted answers, even if they’d hurt him. He was right—it wasn’t my place to spare him the pain after causing so much already.

  As difficult as it was to look at him, I refused to turn away while giving him what he’d asked for. “You’re right, Jordan…it took me six months to say I love you because I wanted to make sure I meant it first. The reason it took so long is because anytime you uttered those words to me, it freaked me out. And after a while, I felt like you were getting irritated that I still hadn’t said it back.”

  “So you told me you love me because you assumed I was irritated?”

  I’d gotten this far; no point in turning back now. “A person can only profess their love to another for so long without hearing it back before they start to question it. You used those words on our one-month anniversary. So for five months, you told me you loved me, and I hadn’t returned the sentiment. Admit it, Jordan. You were growing impatient.”

  “There’s a difference between wanting to know I wasn’t alone in my feelings and needing validation so badly I’d resort to pressuring you into it. Are you telling me that you said it just because you thought I was getting pissed?”

  “Not pissed, no. But impatient, yes.”

  “So you didn’t mean it at all?”

  My throat closed, and my chest tightened. Tears stung the backs of my eyes as I formed the words on my tongue—the words I’d only ever thought to myself with no intention of lending them a voice. “I remember lying in bed one night after getting off the phone with you and staring at the ceiling for, like, an hour. I didn’t understand why it freaked me out so much when I’d hear you tell me you love me. I assumed that because I didn’t get butterflies when I heard it, that meant I didn’t feel the same. I never got excited. I never got the urge to call up everyone in my contacts to tell them you love me. But I knew I didn’t want to lose you. I knew I cared about you, so while I stared at the ceiling, I convinced myself that I did love you, and the reason I didn’t feel all those other things was because this love was different. The real kind. The next day was the first time I repeated it.”

  “Did you ever love me?”

  “Of course I love you, Jordan.” A large part of me wanted to reach out and touch him, though I refrained, knowing it wouldn’t comfort him the way I would’ve intended. “I don’t believe you can be with someone as long as we were together without love being a part of it.”

  His gaze shifted all around, occasionally landing on me for only a split second before darting off to something else. It made me a little uneasy. Then again, everything about this situation was uncomfortable and awkward.

  The only way to end it was to keep going. Get it over with. “I told Stella that I didn’t want you to propose because I needed to focus on school and get my degree. I truly believed that was my hang-up. It made sense to me—get through school, and then worry about the future. I never saw it as hesitation, but more of a responsible decision.”

  “Let me guess…since you’d already graduated, you didn’t have a problem saying yes to him?”

  My hands fisted at my sides. It became increasingly more difficult to control my anger, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could put up with his digs before I lost my temper. “You really want to know why I married him? Why I didn’t think twice about it or get it annulled after I came back?”

  “Yes, Mercy. I would like you to tell me why.”

  “Because when he asked, I felt something. And the entire time I was with you, I felt nothing. Is that what you want to hear? Do you feel better now?”

  Jordan took a step back, his jaw ticcing as if I’d slapped him. “What did you feel? Butterflies? You married a complete stranger, chose him over the guy you’ve been with for years, all because of a nervous stomach?”

  As much as I wanted to yell, I had to keep my composure. So I released a steady breath and waited a couple of seconds before responding. “No. My chest ached, like my heart had grown too big to fit in my ribcage. I became lightheaded; not dizzy, though. And my entire body grew so warm it felt like I stood beneath the sun on the hottest day of the year. I had this insane urge to cry, and for the life of me, I couldn’t fathom why. I wasn’t sad—quite the opposite, really. It also wasn’t a happy cry…at least, not the kind most people are used to. The tears never came, never burned my eyes, never even moistened them.”

  “Wow, Mercy.” He shook his head, exasperation glittering in his rolling eyes. “We had something solid, real, and safe. Too bad I didn’t know all of this before. If I had, I could’ve given you panic attacks all the time. Maybe if I’d done that, you would’ve married me instead.”

  Nothing I could say would change his mind. He was angry, and he had every right to be. I’d broken his heart. I’d stolen his dreams and his future, and the only explanation I had to offer was that I had never been in love with him. I had no right to strip him of his feelings over what I’d done to him.

  “While I get why you don’t like him, your issue should really be with me. You went after the wrong person last night, Jordan. He didn’t make me marry him. He never forced me to move into his house, nor did he pressure me into staying. I chose to do all of those things. Yet you went after him instead.”

  His disposition changed again, shifting from ire to sorrow to guilt in the blink of an eye. “Like I said…I wasn’t thinking. In my head, he had to have something over you. There had to be a reason you wanted him instead of me. I needed to see with my own eyes what he has that I don’t.”

  “Did you find what you were looking for? Did destroying everything make you feel better?”

  “No. Not at all. It made me feel worse. Once the blinding hatred wore off, I realized what I had done, and I ran. I wouldn’t blame him for pressing charges, but if you can convince him to let me pay him back…” Jordan shook his head without finishing his sentence. It almost sounded as if he wanted to say I owed him that much yet stopped himself.

  In all honesty, I did owe him. I’d caused him so much pain, and if this would make it up to him, prove to him how sorry I was, then I had to do it. “I’ll talk to him. But you have to promise to pay it all back by the time you say you will. Screwing him over won’t hurt me, so it won’t do you any good to make this agreement and then back out after he calls off the guards.”

  “I have no intention of screwing him over.”

  “Okay. I’ll see what I can do. Go back to work and stop worrying. I’ll text you later.”

  With a curt nod, he took a few steps backward, and then turned to head inside. Meanwhile, I needed a couple of extra minutes to collect my emotions off the ground. I’d expected his anger. His hurt. His accusations and insults. However, in all the scenarios I’d played out in my head on the drive to his office, I never assumed I’d be leaving here to defend him to Brogan.

  I really began to miss my uncomplicated life.

  18

  Brogan

  “I have entirely too much going on right now to continue this conversation.” I opened the door, and then leaned against the glass with my arms crossed over my chest. “If you have any hope of keeping your job, I suggest you leave and let me cool off. Trust me…you don’t want me making a decision about your employment anytime soon.”

  “I understand,” Kickstand mumbled with his hands in his pockets.

  I didn’t bother to move as he shuffled past me, squeezing between my body and the doorframe. “And if I find out you had any part in this—planned it, agreed to it, got paid for it—then I hope for your sake you can afford a good attorney.”

  Kickstand glanced over his shoulder and met my stare with wide eyes, fear burning bright in their depths. “I swear, boss. I didn’t know anything about it. It was a mistake.”

  “A rather costly mistake, if you ask me.” Honestly, I believed the kid. I felt I’d known him long enough to see through his bullshit, but I wasn’t about to let him off the hook that ea
sily. I was still too pissed off for that. Not to mention, a little fear might do him good—it was the only way to ensure he’d learned his lesson. However, I had no intention of giving him the keys to close up the shop again.

  Without moving from my position in the doorway, I grabbed my cell from my pocket and checked the screen. Mercy had called almost two hours ago, asking if I wanted her help, yet she hadn’t shown up. While that wasn’t overly concerning in and of itself, considering I assumed it would’ve taken her and Stella time to get dressed and drive into town, she also hadn’t answered any of my calls or texts.

  I pulled up our message thread to see if she’d even read the last one I had sent, but before I could do anything else, I caught a glimpse of her car out of my peripheral vision. Instantly, my posture softened, and my lungs returned to normal working order. I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop worrying so much about her wellbeing. And while I realized that wasn’t a bad thing, the potential heart attack begged to differ.

  “Where have you been? I’ve called and texted. Why didn’t you answer?” I asked while she approached me, Stella following close behind.

  Mercy tilted her head back and met my lips with hers. It was a quick kiss—we’d learned a while ago that if our lips touched for too long, clothes came off—followed by her sliding her hand into mine. “Let’s go talk.”

  “That’s never good.” It was meant to be a joke, except her somber expression killed the humor. I followed her to my studio room, which was mostly cleaned up by now, and closed the door behind me. “What’s going on, babe? You’re worrying me.”

  Without anywhere to sit—boxes of trash occupied the table she normally sat on when in here—she leaned against the side wall with her shoulder and glanced around the room. “Do you know who did this?”

  “We have his face on video.”

  She nodded slowly, as if mulling over my answer in her head. “Are you planning to press charges?”

  I tensed against the door at the notion she knew more than she was letting on. “Why wouldn’t I? Not only am I out the money for all the supplies that are destroyed, which need to be replaced, but I’m also losing out on at least two days’ worth of business until I can get the shop up and running again. This asshole has cost me a lot of money, time, and grief.”

  “What if he’s willing to pay you back?”

  “It doesn’t matter because I’ll press charges, and then he’ll be forced to pay me back.”

  Her eyes closed and head fell forward. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I was looking at the culprit. A guilt-ridden sigh escaped her downturned lips, and when she lifted her gaze, my heart stopped.

  “What aren’t you telling me, Mercy?”

  “When I saw Jordan, he told me what he did.”

  On top of my heart not beating properly, my lungs decided to shrink, making full breaths nearly impossible. “Where did you see him?”

  “I went to his office before coming here. I told you that’s what I was doing.”

  My mouth opened and closed while I replayed our earlier conversation in my head. There was a large piece missing, which coincided with Indi handing me her phone, so there was no telling if she had or hadn’t told me. “Sorry, I must not have heard that part. Anyway…what did he say?”

  “I don’t know how to tell you this, Brogan, but Jordan’s the one who broke in last night. He must’ve thought you knew and told me, and that’s why I was there. I’m not sure. But he confessed immediately, and I truly believe he’s remorseful.” Her throat dipped with her harsh swallow right before she added, “I don’t think you should press charges.”

  I saw red, though not at her. At the bastard who put her in the middle of his war. “And why do you think that?”

  “Because he said he’ll pay you back. And he realizes he fucked up. Listen, I get it. He’s my ex, and he hasn’t made things easy for either of us over the past month. Taking the high road isn’t the easiest choice to make, but please do it for me?”

  “I don’t understand why you’d want me to after what he’s done.”

  She shuffled her feet along the floor until she stood directly in front of me. With her hands on my chest, calming my erratic heart rate, she lifted her chin and looked me in the eyes. “I feel like I have some blame in this, too. He’s hurt and angry, and after seeing him today, I can honestly say he’s lost. I did that to him.”

  As much as I wanted to give in and let her have her way, I couldn’t. Not yet. “I don’t care how he feels about us, that doesn’t give him the right to fuck my shit up. He’s got a broken heart; so what? Can he not control himself? Does he not take responsibility for his own actions, or does he have the mentality that it’s always someone else’s fault because they hurt his feelings? Hell no, Mercy. I’m sorry, but I can’t condone vandalizing someone’s property—their business—simply because the woman he cheated on married someone else. That’s his own problem.”

  “He didn’t cheat on me,” she said, resignation heavy in her soft tone.

  From the moment Mercy first told me that he had denied being in that club with another woman, I didn’t buy it. He might’ve been convincing enough to make her question what she saw, but I never contemplated the possibility that she’d actually doubt it. At the end of the day, she slept in my bed, so it shouldn’t have mattered what she believed. However, hearing her defend him sent my pulse racing and my blood pressure through the roof.

  She fisted the front of my shirt and relaxed against me. “Everything happened the way it was supposed to. I trust that. Except it doesn’t ease the guilt I feel for what I put him through. Can’t you take a day or two and think about it before making a decision?”

  “He clearly didn’t take the time to think through his before ransacking my shop.”

  “No, but here’s your chance to be the bigger person. We can’t continue playing the eye-for-an-eye game. Someone will get seriously hurt.” She was right, and the thought of that someone being her made me sick to my stomach. “You have the chance to put an end to it now. There’s really no point in keeping this war going.”

  “I won’t wave the white flag.”

  “You have me, so you’re already the winner. Want to know what he has? A broken heart. Guilty conscience. Regret that probably won’t go away anytime soon, especially if he has to make payments to you—the one who’s sleeping next to the woman he wants. If anyone’s surrendering, it’s him. He’s at your mercy, groveling at your feet, begging for leniency. Can’t you at least give him that?”

  Damn…in less than ten minutes, Mercy proved she could get whatever she wanted from me. I only hoped she wouldn’t ask for the world. Because I’d die trying to give it to her.

  “Okay, fine. I won’t press charges. But if he fucks up again, don’t bother asking me to take the high road, because I won’t. This is his first and last chance. I’ll do this for you, this one time, but if he even thinks of acting out again, he’ll wish he decided to play in traffic instead.”

  A slow smile of approval curled her lips while pride glistened in her eyes. “Thank you, baby. I know this isn’t what you want, and you’re only doing it to please me. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. And if he messes this up, he’s all yours. After this, my debt to him will be paid in full.”

  I cradled her face in my hands and brought her mouth to mine.

  Mercy Wright had a way of making me a better man.

  And for that, my debt to her could never be paid off.

  It took close to a week to get the shop back in order. Luckily, Mercy had Stella to keep her entertained while I spent long days dealing with the aftermath of her ex’s childish tantrum.

  Even though it wouldn’t have been my choice to take it easy on him, I had to admit that I felt a certain amount of satisfaction at the thought of handing him a bill for all the damage he’d caused. I also looked forward to witnessing the pain in his eyes when I gave him the legal document detailing the stipulations of our agreement.

  Now
, Stella had gone home, and the shop was back in business.

  Just in time for the camera crew to arrive and create yet another headache.

  There were still three more days before filming began, and after that, Mercy would start her new job at the small private school in town. In two and a half weeks, our schedules would become chaotic. Between her early mornings and my late nights, I worried we wouldn’t have much time together. Mercy didn’t seem concerned. As she so eloquently put it…there’s always the middle of the night.

  The thought of having her naked body next to mine made me impatient to get home.

  My knee bobbed as I sat in the lobby of Jordan’s office building, waiting for him to acknowledge I was there. Granted, I didn’t blame the idiot for taking his time. This wasn’t the kind of meeting that would leave him with a smile on his face. But if he kept me much longer, I’d make sure he understood the reason for my impatience. And no man wanted to imagine the woman he loved being loved by someone else—especially if that image was as detailed as I’d make it.

  “Mr. Daniels,” the receptionist called as she made her way toward me. “Mr. Hamilton is ready for you. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to him.” Fucker couldn’t even get off his ass to come get me. Shouldn’t have surprised me, yet it did.

  I kept one step behind the blonde, who made it a point to dramatically swing her hips with every step. It very well might’ve been her normal gait, though I doubted it. I’d seen women completely change their entire demeanor—and tone—in front of me. But if she thought I’d pay attention to it, it was a waste of her time and energy.

  Halfway down a long hallway, she turned toward me with a smile and said, “Here you are.” She knocked once and, without waiting for a reply, opened the solid door. “Have a nice day, Mr. Daniels.”

  “You too.” I had no idea what her name was, and I didn’t really care.