Adapt Or Be Crushed (The Exceptional S. Beaufont Book 9)

by Sarah Noffke

  Sophia instantly deflated, wondering why things had to be so difficult. Was it too much to ask to know which deadly magical creature they would face on a mystery date?

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Bermuda stated. “The parts on the leviathan and the simurgh were at the beginning of the conversation, and I remember somewhat, especially after the events with them came to pass. I recall a few other details, but there’s a chunk that’s missing like I blacked out.”

  “Because Nevin thought you might figure it out after he released those two and didn’t want you to give us a heads up,” Sophia guessed.

  “Which is what I was going to do,” Bermuda stated. “I have to warn you, I’ve seen many a crafty magician, but Nevin Gooseman shouldn’t be underestimated. He’s incredibly skillful, and the fact that he was able to find the leviathan and the simurgh and enhance them makes me confident that whatever else he has in store for you will be monumental.”

  Sophia nodded, already preparing herself mentally for this deadly creature or creatures. Her mind was already going wild with the possibilities. Could it be a swarm of murderous bugs or a flock of crazy birds or an oversized cat? “This is a man who singlehandedly turned the world against the Dragon Elite and sent a magitech army to destroy the most powerful place in the world—the Great Library. Believe me. I’m not at all underestimating him. However, is there anything you can offer about what we could be facing?”

  The regret was heavy on Bermuda’s face as she pushed her crumb-sprinkled empty plate away. “I’m sorry. I don’t think any of the information I remember from my conversation with him will help, but I’ll send you the details of what I do know for the purpose of elimination.”

  Sophia nodded. Nevin must have known that the element of surprise was one of his best weapons, and he was right.

  “What I can offer you that will be of use is information on your sheep problem.” Bermuda’s tone lightened.

  Managing a relieved smile, Sophia said, “That would be welcome. You know what’s wrong with them and how to fix them?”

  “I know that the water supply has been infected,” Bermuda stated. “But I don’t know how to fix the problem. Poison isn’t my specialty.”

  “So it’s something that only affects the sheep,” Sophia muttered. “So weird.”

  “Again, Nevin Gooseman is incredibly crafty,” Bermuda reminded her. “I’ve never seen anything like the tactics he employs. Whatever his reasons for going after the Dragon Elite, he’s relentless.”

  “We’ve got to fix the water supply.” Sophia thought hard but didn’t find a realistic solution.

  “I agree, but I don’t believe that a simple healing elixir like what you and Rudolf are selling will work.”

  Sophia sighed. “Maybe we give the sheep bottled water.” The visual of the sheep on the Expanse drinking Smart Water enhanced with electrolytes in sporty little bottles was quite entertaining for Sophia.

  However, Bermuda didn’t appear as amused by the idea. She scowled. “I don’t think that’s a realistic solution.”

  Sophia was about to tell her that it was sarcasm but then remembered that the giantess didn’t favor this type of joke and would probably scowl deeper at her if she did. This was chiefly the reason that Bermuda didn’t favor Liv. Well, and also because her sister apparently didn’t brush her hair often enough for the giantess’ liking.

  “Save the world, protect the innocent, and put the guilty away,” Liv often said. “And at the end of the day, all anyone cares about is how my hair looks.”

  “Although I don’t know how to fix the water supply or heal the sheep in Scotland of this problem,” Bermuda began, “I think I know someone who will.”

  Sophia brightened suddenly. “A lead would be great. Thank you.”

  The giantess’ face darkened. “Unfortunately, the person I’m aware of who has extensive knowledge of poison is not someone I favor.”

  “Oh…” Sophia drew out the word. That didn’t mean much to her since she suspected that Bermuda didn’t favor practically anyone.

  “Yes, but they have the right skill set to create an antidote for the poison if anyone will.”

  Immediately, Sophia thought of Bep, the potions expert at the Rose Apothecary on Roya Lane. It would make sense that she would know how to fix the water supply.

  “You’ll want to be careful around this person,” Bermuda continued. “Not only is she incredibly dangerous employing poisoned baked goods to assassinate people, but she also has a horrible sense of humor.”

  Sophia smiled wide as her mood unexpectedly lifted.

  This produced a disapproving expression from the magical creatures expert. “I don’t think you’re taking this seriously, based on the look on your face. I must stress the importance of not trusting this person. She is your only option, but absolutely can’t be trusted. She will save a person only to kill them later.”

  Sophia laughed. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m taking this seriously. It’s just that I’ve worked with the assassin baker many times and don’t fear her at all, although her jokes are truly, truly awful.”

  Chapter Ninety-One

  To Sophia’s surprise, she looked forward to seeing Lee. The assassin had strangely started to grow on her after their many adventures together. It made sense that she was a poison expert, having employed a lot of it in her baking.

  After stepping through the portal to Roya Lane, Sophia made her way to the Crying Cat Bakery, but she stopped before she reached it when she passed an elfin man who she didn’t recognize. However, a specific scar on his temple made her certain she did know the elf.

  “Ainsley?” Sophia grabbed the man by the arm and stopped him as he passed.

  He narrowed his blue eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Sophia studied the scar, which was curved such that it was unlikely two people could have the same shaped one in the same place. Also, Sophia had learned at the beginning of her time at the Gullington that there was one way to spot Ainsley when she shapeshifted. She could change her hair, eyes, gender, race, and her species.

  However, the one thing the elf couldn’t do was erase the scar on her temple. All shapeshifters had a mark that showed up when they changed. That was the only way to spot them for those who knew what they were looking for.

  The elfin man tried to steer around Sophia, but she kept her grip on his arm and stepped in front of him, blocking his path.

  “Nice try, but I know it’s you, Ains.”

  The man growled. “Seriously, S. Beaufont, you had to run into me here.”

  Sophia sighed, glad that she was right and not about to be assaulted by a stranger. “Why were you trying to fool me?”

  The guy sighed heavily, and a shadow of a familiar Ainsley expression flickered on his face. “I don’t want anything that reminds me of the past right now. I’m working, and it’s easier if I stay focused and not get distracted by emotions.”

  Sophia studied the man and wished she was looking at Ainsley so she could tell what was going on. Reading her nonverbal cues would be helpful. However, Sophia spied the tension that the shapeshifter couldn’t cover while still in elfin form.

  “We all miss you.” Sophia wanted to hug her friend but felt weird doing it in her current form. It would be like hugging a stranger.

  Ainsley worked to keep her expression flat. “All? I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”

  “No, I’m not,” Sophia argued. “The Castle isn’t the same without you, although Trin is doing a good job. Quiet mopes around a lot and Evan can’t find his shoes most of the time. Wilder keeps bringing up what he calls Ainslisms. They’re always fun things you’ve done or said.”

  “Oh, so not all,” Ainsley stated matter-of-factly.

  “I wasn’t done,” Sophia said at once. “Everyone misses you in their way.” Sophia knew that the previous housekeeper for the Castle at the Gullington was thinking about Hiker. Still it didn’t feel right to share any details about him
after witnessing their intimate goodbye. What was she supposed to say, that Hiker was distant and constantly distracted? That was the truth, but no one could connect it to Ainsley’s sudden absence, and what if it gave her false hope? Sophia decided it was best to stay out of the already complex situation.

  “Well, I miss you,” Ainsley admitted. “The rest of that lot, well, we spent a lot of centuries together so excuse me if I’m not pining for them yet. Although I could use a hug from Mama Jamba.”

  Sophia smiled warmly. “Those are the best hugs in the world. And she picks at her pancakes, obviously not as happy with them since you left.”

  That made the shapeshifter grin. “Trin will get there eventually, but I will admit I’m happy that I’m not easily replaced.”

  “It would be impossible to replace you.”

  The smile faded at once. “For you, that might be true, but I don’t think everyone shares that sentiment.”

  Sophia knew they were indirectly talking about Hiker, but again, she wasn’t going to get involved. It wasn’t good for her and put her in an impossible situation. So she decided to try a different approach. “Speaking of Mama Jamba, did you end up using that time ball thingy she made for you?”

  Ainsley looked away suddenly, like something at the far side of Roya Lane had stolen her attention. “Oh, that thing…yeah, I played around with it, I guess.”

  “It’s such an interesting magical object,” Sophia related. “To be able to see your life if you made different decisions. I bet it’s a head trip.”

  “Not as much as you’d think.” The elf still wouldn’t meet Sophia’s gaze.

  “So how is your work with the Elfin Council going?” Sophia tried to change the subject, sensing the stress that Ainsley tried to hide.

  She shrugged and appeared disinterested. “It’s the same old, same old.”

  Sophia couldn’t help but laugh. “Only you would say that about doing international delegate work for a governing body after being stuck at the Gullington for centuries.”

  Amusement danced in Ainsley’s eyes before she shook it away. “The Gullington during the dark ages was interesting. It seemed there was always something going on. I mean, you live around dragons, and it’s never a dull moment, but don’t tell anyone I said that. It’s better if I pretended to loathe it, even back then.”

  Sophia ran her fingers over her mouth like she was zipping her lips shut.

  “Well, tell the others that…no, don’t tell them you saw me,” Ainsley stated. “Or do and say that I looked better than ever, full of life, and richer than ever. Oh, and somehow let it slip that I’m dating an elfin warlock by the name of Gregor Flamel the Second.”

  “Oh, are you?” Sophia asked, suddenly curious.

  Ainsley shook her head. “No, but he’s a devilishly good-looking guy who everyone knows.”

  Sophia was pretty sure that by “everyone,” Ainsley meant, “Hiker.”

  “I’ll let it slip,” Sophia stated. “I’m sure the others will be happy to hear you’re doing well.”

  “Maybe,” Ainsley muttered, not at all looking convinced. “Well, I’m sure you’re busy trying to save the world. I’ll leave you to it.”

  “The Gullington, currently,” Sophia admitted, remembering her present mission.

  The look of concern on Ainsley’s face was immediate. “The Gullington? What’s wrong? Is everyone okay?”

  Sophia nodded at once. “Yes, it’s just that the sheep are exploding. It gave Lunis an awful stomachache at first, but he’s fine, and Quiet has secured a different food source for the time being. But I’m here to fix the water supply, which caused it.”

  Ainsley laughed with relief. “Oh, little bits of wool everywhere. I bet Quiet is livid.”

  “He’s muttering nonstop and definitely peeved,” Sophia admitted.

  “Well, tell him that I said hello. Then inform Evan that I said to tuck in his shirt. And tell Wilder that his hair is messed up.” She laughed. “He’ll rush off to fix it, I bet. Let Mahkah know that he’s still my favorite, and hug Mama Jamba for me.”

  Sophia waited, thinking that there was one last message that Ainsley forgot to pass along. However, the elf smiled and said, “That’s it. You take care of yourself, S. Beaufont. You hear?”

  She nodded. “I will, of course. And you too.”

  The elfin man backed away, a look of sentimentality heavy in his eyes as he disappeared into the crowd.

  Sophia waved at her friend, wishing that she’d have mentioned Hiker at least once. But again, she didn’t know where her place was in the assorted affairs between the leader of the Dragon Elite and the delegate for the Elfin Council.

  Chapter Ninety-Two

  After the reunion with Ainsley, Sophia felt heavier. It was good to see her friend, but also made her wish that nothing had changed. That always felt like the way for her. When she’d come to the Gullington, she missed her family and was torn between them and starting a new life. It was always the good with the bad—progress mixed with painful nostalgia.

  That was one of the reasons she hurried to the Crying Cat Bakery. Also, she knew that she needed to get to the exploding sheep as soon as possible and that her friend would probably take her mind off her troubles. She hoped so. Or at the very least, she could ask Lee to slap her in the face, and that would do the trick. The assassin baker would welcome such an opportunity.

  When Sophia entered the Crying Cat Bakery, she found King Rudolf Sweetwater leaning over one of the counters with a stack of pictures in his hands.

  “You should have seen it,” he gushed while sorting through the prints. “The Captains had the best time, and they all built bears that have been eating through the pantry at night, although I suspect it might be Serena since I could have sworn she had Dorito dust on her fingers this morning when we woke up. She said it was because she caught the bears in the act and had to slap them silly, but I’m not sure.”

  Lee feigned a smile and waved Sophia in as she approached the counter. “Rudolf was just showing me his triplets’ birthday celebration.”

  “It was fun,” Sophia said. “Whoever arranged it is nice.”

  “Sounds like a horrible person who would like to remain nameless,” Lee stated with deliberation in her voice, her eyes wide.

  “It was Sophia,” Rudolf stated, then put his arm around her without her permission and hugged her tightly. “She’s always doing the nicest things, like making my wife live a few extra decades—”

  “I did that for several million dollars,” Sophia argued.

  “And saving me from abduction,” Rudolf went on dreamily.

  “That was to save the Dragon Elite and bring down Nevin Gooseman,” she countered.

  “And leaving that package of recreational drugs on my doorstep,” Rudolf continued.

  “That wasn’t me,” Sophia replied.

  He smiled. “Well, still, it’s the thought that counts. Your thank-you note for the hallucinogens is in the mail, although because of the previously mentioned drugs, I might have only imagined writing a thank you note and sending it. Only time will tell.”

  “Can’t wait,” Sophia said with a fake smile.

  “Do you want to see the pictures from the Captains’ birthday?” Rudolf shoved the prints in her face.

  Sophia shook her head. “I’m good, but thanks. I was there, remember?”

  He shrugged. “Not really. That’s why I took pictures.” Rudolf glanced down at the top copy, which showed a group shot of everyone at the party. “Oh, you were there! That’s right. And you kept thinking that the Captains were the same age.”

  “It was their birthday,” Sophia reasoned. “They’re triplets.”

  Rudolf shook his head and looked at Lee. “Explaining how math works to this blonde will be the death of me. Anyway, I’m off to conduct fae business. Someone has to keep the best empire in the world afloat.”

  “And what will you do all day?” Lee asked as he progressed toward the door.

  Withou
t missing a beat, Rudolf waved and smiled over his shoulder. “I was told to stay out of the way by those I employ. They say that on the days I leave the kingdom they get the most amount of work done. So hopefully I’ve been gone long enough for them to solve our financial crisis and create solutions to the fae educational system because Papa needs a nappy nap.”

  “Fae educational system?” Sophia had to question, surprised by this. “I didn’t know there was a problem with it or that you had one.”

  “Well, I tried to create one, thinking I’d empower my people, but it didn’t turn out so well,” Rudolf related.

  Lee leaned in and whispered over Sophia’s shoulder, “You know how they say that line about give a man a fish?”

  She nodded.

  “Well, if you teach a fae to fish they all drown, so just give them some wine and don’t expect much else from them. This is the race that we’re all keeping afloat.”

  “And in exchange, we offer you all the debauchery that you can handle in Las Vegas,” Rudolf added with satisfaction.

  “Well, I applaud your ambition to teach your people,” Sophia stated. “It’s the thought that counts.”

  “Yeah, and it could have gone worse,” Lee imparted. “He could have employed common core to teach simple practices. That would have led to a lot of irate parents who took up drinking to deal with helping with homework.”

  Sophia didn’t know what Lee was going on about, but Rudolf pretended to as he opened the door and waved over his shoulder. “You gals are my absolute favorites. Never change, Susan and Pam. Never, ever change.”

  Chapter Ninety-Three

  “Do you think it’s all right if I change my name?” Lee asked Sophia when King Rudolf left. “I’ve never felt much like a Susan…or a Pam. Honestly, I’ve always wanted to be a Crystal.”

  “You’re a Lee,” Sophia argued. “Through and through.”