Adapt Or Be Crushed (The Exceptional S. Beaufont Book 9)

by Sarah Noffke

  He glanced up as he refilled the tea kettle as if listening for outside noises. “I thought I heard some mice in the basement. Does that count?”

  Liv shook her head, still looking out the window. “So you didn’t notice the storm clouds of doom building over the top of your house?”

  He shook his head, put the kettle on the stove, and started the flame. “To be honest, I don’t pay much attention to things, and I have a soundproof spell on the house because I was getting disturbed by a strange talking cat.”

  Liv turned away from the window and frowned. “Now it all makes sense why we were recruited.”

  “Huh?” Paul asked good-naturedly while putting some crackers and other nibbles on the table.

  “You won’t answer the door for a talking cat, but two girls show up, and you open it?” Liv questioned.

  “Well, I figured you were lost,” he reasoned and set out a full tea service, making Sophia nervous as she realized the volcano could only be getting worse. “I was told long ago never to trust anything that’s not human that speaks.”

  “Good advice, for the most part,” Liv stated. “Unless it’s Plato.”

  “The philosopher!” Paul chirped.

  Liv shook her head. “No, the cat that the philosopher was named for.”

  Paul scratched his head. “I don’t know that history.”

  “Most don’t.” Liv casually sat at the table. “Paul, we’re here because we have a job for you and it’s a killer opportunity. Like, if you don’t take it, you’ll be in hot lava.”

  Chapter One Hundred Forty-Nine

  “This sounds serious.” Paul poured the tea after the sisters had explained the situation to him. “So I’m being offered a job I didn’t apply for? Are you certain that this Plato got my correct credentials?”

  “Completely.” Liv took a biscuit and popped it into her mouth. “He’s good about getting details right.”

  “But he’s a cat,” Paul said, a question in his voice.

  “Sort of,” Liv imparted. “Think of Plato as a cat, like you would Mother Nature as a woman.”

  “Well, I never would,” Paul argued. “She’s a supreme being who is holier than thou!”

  “You’d be surprised.” Sophia sipped her tea but found the warmth off-putting. Although it was the right temperature, if she never had anything hot for the rest of her life, she might be okay with that after her lava bath earlier.

  “I’m flattered that you two came all this way to offer me this job of sorts,” Paul began. “I was put off by that cat at my door. I was grateful I paid for the extra burglar insurance and security systems when he tried getting in.”

  “No wonder Plato sent us,” Liv commented to Sophia dryly. “He couldn’t get in. Modern technology has outsmarted the lynx.”

  “Figures.” Sophia took a bite of a wafer that Paul had set out, thinking it would be good to reload her reserves in case there were more battles on the way down. They did have to extinguish the volcano after all.

  “Well, and of course I had no problem opening for you two,” Paul went on. “I figured you were lost hikers. I get those from time to time.”

  Liv looked around at the middle of nowhere that the cottage occupied. “You’ll excuse me for being surprised.”

  “Anyway,” Paul continued, apparently not paying attention to Liv, like most. “I’ll need a few weeks to think about this offer. Then if I take it I’ll need time to pack and think about a relocation package…there will be a relocation package right?”

  “Yeah,” Liv chirped. “It’s a killer deal. You take it, or you’ll regret it. I promise.”

  Sophia set down her teacup after deciding it was her time to take over. “The thing is, Paul, we’re asking you to be the librarian for the greatest library in all the world.”

  “For which I’m very grateful and honored,” he stated proudly.

  “That’s nice.” Liv didn’t sound like she meant it.

  “And this type of position comes with some….” Sophia paused while thinking of the right word, “incentives.”

  “Incentives?” he questioned. “Like paid holidays and such?”

  “More like if you don’t take the job now, then the top will explode off this volcano,” Liv stated in a rush. “Well, I think even if you do accept, the top will blow off. It’s an incentive to get you to take the job.”

  Paul stood suddenly. “Are you serious? This volcano? It’s real?”

  “I’m afraid so,” Sophia stated. “We battled it coming up here to get you. And I fear we don’t have much time. You see, Plato wanted to encourage you to take the job. I’m sorry if that’s wrong, but—”

  “Oh no,” Paul said dismissively. “I was inevitably going to take the job. It’s perfect for me. But I’d probably pretend to deliberate on it for a while, then finally come around.”

  Liv lowered her chin and glanced at Sophia. “Clever Plato knows how to cut corners with dawdlers.”

  “But now you say that my place…” Paul glanced around frantically at his belongings all around the neat cottage.

  “But at the Great Library, you’ll have everything you’ll ever want,” Sophia explained in a rush. “And every book known to man, or elf, or centaur. You’ll have visitors, too.”

  “But not too many,” Liv cut in and added, “since I’m guessing that living at the top of Mount Castiglione, you’re not the visitor type.”

  He nodded. “You guessed right. And this sounds like my perfect job. When do I start?”

  Liv pulled the envelope that Plato had given her for the Great Librarian from her cloak, having also protected it with a “stay dry” spell. “As soon as you open this.”

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty

  Sophia didn’t know what to expect when Paul opened the envelope from Plato. Part of her hoped that the all-powerful lynx made it so that the spell transported all three of them to the Great Library’s new location, healed the volcano, and spread a huge feast out in front of them to celebrate all the victories.

  Wow, was she disappointed when Paul tore into the sealed envelope.

  The new Great Librarian’s eyes widened. He held up his hand since it started to sparkle and disappear.

  “Something is happening.” Paul sounded nervous and excited.

  “You’re being portaled to the Great Library’s new location,” Liv informed him with a smile.

  “Do I have time to grab anything?” He looked around his place as he faded.

  Liv and Sophia shook their heads in unison.

  “I’m afraid not,” Sophia stated. “But we’ll visit you soon. You’ll be in good hands until then.”

  “Well, paws,” Liv corrected and waved as the man faded away completely.

  When he was gone, Liv looked at her sister. “So, I’m guessing we don’t get to fade away to a new location then?”

  Sophia showed her hand to display that she wasn’t fading. “I’m afraid not.”

  Loud bangs rumbled the floorboards under their boots.

  Both women tensed.

  “What are the odds that’s just the pipes in Paul’s place?” Liv asked.

  Sophia stood up. “Probably zero percent.”

  Liv stood too. “Well, looks like Paul got to take the easy way out but we’ve got to go down with the mountain.”

  “Or rather,” Sophia put her back to her sister’s and looked out the window that was filling with an orange molten glow, “we get to keep the mountain from going down.”

  Liv nodded. “Yeah, I like the way you think. Then we’re buying Plato a muzzle.”

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-One

  Sophia and Liv busted out of Paul’s cabin in unison, both brandishing their swords like they were going to fight the volcano.

  Although after the fight with Herbert, it wasn’t such an odd idea, Sophia thought. They were in a location on the Hidden Places map, so it was likely that whatever came at them next was deranged and weird.

  “Any ideas about how we’re going to co
ntain this volcano?” Sophia asked her sister while looking out at the eruption that had started on one peak and spilled lava all down the mountain, and made the ground tremble.

  “Do you happen to have a big plug?” Liv joked.

  Sophia blinked at her sister like she was crazy, but the notion sparked something in the recesses of her mind.

  Before she could focus on that, thundering noises caught their attention. Sophia would have thought it was the lava trying to surface below them. Or clouds throwing lightning at them from above. However, when she looked out at the distant hills and saw giant figures approaching, she realized it was way, way worse.

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Two

  “Are those giants made of stone and fire?” Liv asked.

  “To be very specific,” Sophia stated, “I think they are fiery giants made of stone.”

  “Oh, yay,” Liv said with sarcasm. “Glad I brought you along.”

  The giants were shining hot with embers from the inside out, much like the molten rock. They moved like robots and seemed to have a grievance for the cabin—or the sisters peeking out of it as they thundered in that direction, heads above the tallest trees, which they knocked over like toothpicks.

  “So it isn’t enough that we’ve got to figure out how to stop that volcano?” Liv pointed at the erupting liquid magma below them on the middle peak. “Now we’ve got to deal with the deranged stone men who seem to have a problem with Human Resources and think we’re it.”

  Sophia slapped her sister’s arm after having a sudden idea.

  “Wow.” Liv glanced down in astonishment. “So you want me to take you out first, is that right?”

  Sophia laughed in response. “No, but I think I know how we can stop these stone men barreling in our direction and also the volcano at the same time. You know, kill one volcano with a bunch of stones.”

  “That’s not how that phrase goes, but we’ll work on your knowledge of clichés later.” Liv tilted her head. “I’m for once in my life speechless at this current situation and out of ideas. Please tell me everything.”

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Three

  Liv pulled away as if the idea that Sophia had told her wasn’t digestible, but then nodded. “Okay. It’s worth a try.”

  “Are you serious?” Sophia suddenly felt like a small child. “You’re going to try my idea?”

  Liv shrugged. “Well, only because if you’ve noticed, I’m on the top of an erupting volcano with stone giants like twenty feet away and no other options and no way to escape. But I also love your idea Soph, simply because I can’t think of a better one. Gold star.”

  Sophia lowered her chin and regarded her sister with hooded eyes. “I’m canceling the nacho-making station for your birthday this year.”

  “You wouldn’t,” Liv fired back.

  “I would,” Sophia replied. “But onto more important matters.” She pointed at the approaching giants. “You take the ones on the left. I’ll encourage the ones over to the right. Remember what to do?”

  Liv nodded. “I’ll use water and wind. You use ice. And remember the jokes I taught you. They’ll at least buy you time.”

  Sophia nodded. “Okay, let’s hope this works. If not, I love you, Liv.”

  Her sister nodded. “I love you. It will work though. Familia est sempiternum.”

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Four

  “Your momma is so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye to her,” Liv fired at the first giant while holding her hand in the air. The thing was massive, and its stone face contorted with anger. Just the insult seemed to give the stone weirdo pause if not the tiny magician on the ground who dared to fight the monster with her hand raised as if politely asking it to stop.

  It tilted its head and grunted.

  “That’s right, Dumb-Face,” Liv continued, encouraged by the reaction. “Your momma is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a paycheck.”

  That’s when Liv’s luck ran out. The stone and fire creature opened its mouth to build up some energy, about to blow a flame at the one who had insulted it. That’s when Liv gathered her wits about her and held up her hand, harnessed the magic of the elves she’d inherited, and sprayed water at the stone giant.

  The blast hit the fiery creature and made steam shoot out from various places. It created awful crunching sounds, like asphalt being ripped apart by a jackhammer. The stone giant opened its mouth as if attempting to blow fire at Liv again, but nothing came out except a puff of smoke. Then its eyes closed like a robot had powered off.

  The stone giant resembled blocks of boulders arranged to create a very rudimentary man. However, to Liv and Sophia’s relief, it didn’t take much to subdue the ordinary-looking block man and turn him to stone after extinguishing the fire within with the cold blast of water. When the smoke and steam cleared, it was evident that the monster had frozen after turning gray, all the fire within it gone. Then the giant suddenly crumbled into a pile of rocks.

  “Next one is yours, Miss Beaufont.” Liv bowed in her sister’s direction as another giant advanced on them.

  Sophia swallowed. The monster quickly approached. Its long strides carried it across Paul’s yard as it closed the distance between it and the two magicians. Sophia gripped her resolve and tightened the expression on her face. She faced off with the stone giant burning from within with embers and lava and wondered if she had the same brazen nature as her sister.

  No, Lunis told her in her head. You have yours. It’s different and just as good. Better in some ways. Use it to take these oversized stone men down.

  Sophia nodded and felt the victory before it came, which was the best sign of things to come.

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Five

  “Your momma is so ugly, she makes blind children cry,” Sophia fired at the stone man that she’d named Teddy. All the giants were named Teddy to keep it easy—all four of them.

  Because they’re so cuddly? Lunis asked in her head.

  Because I can crush them like they’re a teddy bear. Sophia pooled the energy in her being, preparing to shoot the ice blast at the monster.

  You’ve never had a stuffed bear, have you? Lunis observed.

  Shush. I’m fighting a monster, Sophia admonished.

  Must be nice, Lunis replied. Since you asked, I’m counting the cracks on the Cave ceiling. There are one hundred and six so far.

  Seems like a great use of your time. Sophia realized she didn’t have too much longer until the beast was upon her, but she wanted to ensure she’d charged up the cold blast enough to be effective. Unlike Liv’s water blast, Sophia didn’t think the cold and ice would be as effective.

  It is a good use of my time, Lunis replied. I’ve got lots and lots of it while you’re gallivanting in beautiful Italy.

  Sophia almost laughed. I’m currently hanging out on a volcano that’s threatening to erupt.

  Sounds so exotic. Lunis sighed. Bring me a souvenir.

  How about some molten lava? Sophia offered.

  I was thinking a nice bottle of wine, Lunis stated. An expensive chianti. Only the best will do.

  At this point, I’m going to be bringing you some burn wounds.

  Gross, Lunis complained. You’re horrible at picking out souvenirs. Never mind.

  As usual, Lunis’ timing during a high-octane moment was perfect. It kept Sophia calm, which meant that she was able to better channel her energy. She felt Liv getting anxious beside her, but Sophia knew timing was everything. The stone monster was only a few yards away and moving faster, but Sophia didn’t rush. Proximity would help with her attack.

  Don’t worry, she said to the dragon in her head, soon enough there will be a battle and you can stretch your legs and test your skills.

  I hope so, Lunis stated. I’m looking forward to meeting this mysterious villain or villains and sporting my shiny new armor.

  I’m sure you’ll look quite dapper.

  When Liv opened her mouth, probably to question Sophia’s sanity for wai
ting so long, she released the ice spell and sent a blast of freezing air mixed with frost at the fiery giant.

  The spell hit it straight in the chest and made the creature halt suddenly. It rocked forward and back. For a moment, Sophia didn’t think it had worked. She worried that she hadn’t charged up enough and the fire was too hot to extinguish, but then the spray of frostbite that had hit the monster’s chest spread out like a spider’s web and wrapped around the stone, taking over the fire.

  It was much slower to work than Liv’s water blast, as Sophia had suspected. The stone man lumbered forward, and Sophia worried it would grab for them with its massive hands as it reached out. However, she held her ground and defiantly looked up at the strange angry beast.

  The crunching sound of the magma coursing through it as the lava solidified was ear-splitting. Thankfully, it didn’t last for long as the monster turned into a statue reaching forward with a hostile expression covering its face like it was going to crush them, if only it hadn’t been stopped first.

  Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Six

  “Your momma is so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone,” Liv said to the stone monster before blasting it with water. Then she turned to Sophia. “Which is impressive because I’ve met that witch and she doesn’t bow to anyone. She nearly took out Papa Creola.”

  “Sounds like a great story for later,” Sophia urged and pointed at the last remaining stone man striding in their direction.

  “Over nachos!” Liv agreed and spun to take out the final monster.

  They had made the impromptu decision that Liv would take the monsters down using the water spell since that seemed to be more effective and quicker—hopefully keeping them from getting pummeled.

  That left Sophia free to work on freezing the rock that once composed the stone men. She wasn’t certain that her theory would work for stopping the volcano. Although her knowledge of natural disasters was limited, Sophia knew that there was no way to stop a volcano…well, not without magic.