Keeper of the Heart

by Johanna Lindsey

  Stars, had she really thought this wouldn’t matter? As she followed Falon into the house and up the stairs to their rooms, Shanelle knew damn well it did matter.

  He’d said not another word to her. He didn’t even look back to make sure she was following. She was. The thought of trying to run the other way did cross her mind, but she scratched it, not about to make things even worse. Who was she kidding? It couldn’t get any worse.

  When he opened the door to their rooms, then stood there waiting for her to enter, she said hesitantly, “Can we talk about this first?”

  “No.” And he grabbed her hand and yanked her toward the bedroom.

  “Shouldn’t you at least wait until you aren’t so angry?” she asked, desperate now.

  “No.”

  “Falon!”

  No answer at all this time—except the kind she didn’t want. He simply pulled her to the bed, sat on it, and down she went across his thighs.

  The first smack was merely a hot sting. Shanelle had time to wonder whether, if she screamed loud enough, he might at least cut her punishment short. Five more whacks and she had no control over her screams. They came without any added help on her part, in full volume, and they made not the least bit of difference to the strength behind each whack or the duration of them he’d already determined. And the damn bracs, so tight across her bottom, seemed to make it hurt even more. They certainly made each strike sound louder.

  Shanelle lost count of how many times Falon’s hand descended. But there was no doubt about it. She’d definitely think twice before she ever disobeyed him again. But that was the point of the whole thing, to make sure she didn’t want to disobey him again, for any reason. But what was the most galling, perhaps even the most humiliating, was that when he was done, that beast lay back on the bed and held her in his arms until she stopped crying—and she let him.

  It took a good long while, however, because Shanelle made no effort to try and stop the tears. Now that it was over and her backside merely on fire, she hoped like hell Falon was suffering as he’d claimed he would be if he ever had to punish her. And she didn’t give a damn that she’d already figured out that maybe she deserved it. He still hadn’t had to be so damn vigorous in his lesson-giving. She didn’t think she was going to forgive him for that.

  When she finally squirmed out of his arms and sat up, it was to wince and lean quickly on one hip. Just great. It was bad enough that the punishment hurt like hell while it was happening, but obviously it was going to hurt like hell for some time to come.

  “Shanelle?”

  She stiffened, refusing to turn his way. “Don’t talk to me, warrior. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, don’t talk to me.”

  “Perhaps I will not, for I am still too angry with you.”

  “Good,” she retorted. But no more than a second passed before she turned and began to shout, “I knew what I was doing out there! My father taught me to use a sword. I disarmed your sister in less than ten seconds!”

  His brows drew together to give testimony to the anger that was there. “I care not what level of expertise you have reached, woman. You were forbidden to accept her challenge.”

  “She wouldn’t leave me alone, damn it! She was insulting me every time I turned around, and my mother, and I’d heard enough of it. But instead of showing her she’s nothing but hot air, I should have just hauled off and socked her one. Would you like it better if I broke her farden nose?”

  “I would like it better was there no reason for you to fight with her at all.”

  “Then why the hell didn’t you keep her away from me? Some protection you were offering,” she added bitterly. “I was being harassed and you didn’t do a thing about it!”

  He drew in a sharp breath, his complexion lightening a notch. “Was I told this?”

  Did he have to look so hurt by her accusation? “All right, so maybe that was unfair. But she’s your sister. You know her better than I, so you should have known she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

  “You should have said something, Shanelle. Why did you not?”

  “I was supposed to complain, after you asked me to be understanding? You just joined your life to mine, and I’m supposed to start that off by whining about your family? Well, I chose not to. I thought I could take it. And that just goes to show I’ve got a lot less control than you do. She called me a coward once too often, Falon. She slandered my mother once too often. But if you want to know what really set me off, I saw for the first time how she treats Drevan, and it made me sick to think he’s lived with that all his life.”

  “I had already spoken with Deamon, Shanelle. He is taking Aurelet to live with his own family. Drevan will stay here.”

  Her eyes flared wide. “Why couldn’t you have told me that sooner?”

  “Perhaps I should have.”

  “There is no perhaps about it. I could have withstood anything she dished out if I’d known it would be ending soon. That’s the only reason I accepted her challenge, to get it to end. It’s your fault, Falon!”

  “Woman, I did not place that sword in your hand. Nor did I send you out there to risk your life.”

  “You might as well have, when you could have prevented it with a few words,” she said stubbornly, then wished to Stars she hadn’t.

  He grabbed her to him and shook her, then set her straight down on her inflamed bottom and shook her again. “I did prevent it, by forbidding it! Such was all that should have been necessary to keep you out of danger. You willfully disobeyed me, woman. If this is not clear to you, then perhaps I did not punish you enough!”

  She paled even as she shouted, “The hell you didn’t! I already need a meditech.”

  “Which you will not have the use of. The effects of your punishment are to remain with you until they are eased naturally, thus will you better remember to avoid such punishment in future.”

  “How clever of you,” she sneered sarcastically. “I was sure to forget otherwise.”

  “Woman—”

  “Oh, leave me alone, Falon. Just go away and leave me to suffer in peace.”

  She rolled over and curled into a ball on her side of the bed, giving him her back. She waited to feel his weight leave the bed, but he didn’t move. She waited to hear some sound from him, but there was none for a long while. Then there was a sigh.

  “I do not care to leave you with these angry words between us, Shanelle. I hated causing you hurt—”

  “You could have fooled me.”

  “—but I hated more the thought of losing you because of your foolishness. You knew you would be punished for what you did. You had been fairly warned never to place yourself in danger, or such would be the result. So do not resent me now that you have reaped that result. It is done. Now do we go on as before.”

  Wanna bet? she said, but as usual, only to herself.

  Chapter 41

  “If you ask me, he quit too soon. You don’t look properly repentant, and you sure as hell didn’t sound it just now.”

  Shanelle turned over on the bed with an incredulous look. “Mother!”

  “Don’t ‘mother’ me,” Tedra replied angrily. “You’re damn lucky Martha didn’t tell me what you were doing until after it was over.”

  Shanelle quickly adjusted to the fact that her mother had Transferred into her bedroom, but obviously to do no more than scold her. “You mean Martha’s been monitoring me all along?”

  “Of course she has. You don’t think I’d let you go off to a country we know so little about without keeping tabs on you, do you?”

  “What I think is that you’ve kept Martha in the Rover too long. You ought to move her back into her own housing, where she isn’t so powerful.”

  “I heard that, kiddo. What are you complaining for, when I’m not?”

  Shanelle ignored the computer to accuse her mother, “So you knew he was punishing me? You could have got me out of it?”

  “Not on your life, baby. If he hadn’t punished you this time, I
would have seen to it that your father did.”

  “Mother!”

  “I told you not to do that,” Tedra said impatiently. “And I’ll have you know I’m in jeopardy of some punishment myself just for being here, since your father flatly refused to allow me a visit until I’m invited by your lifemate.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  “That’s what I figured.”

  “And you might as well go home before you’re missed,” Shanelle added. “I don’t need any more lectures right now.”

  “The hell you don’t. Where was your sense, Shani? You could have fought that woman without weapons and saved yourself a sore bottom.”

  “That wouldn’t have gotten her off my back. She’d still think she could beat me with swords and keep on challenging me.”

  “You were going to teach the boy, weren’t you? She would have seen then that you’re better than she is.”

  “For Stars’ sake, has Martha told you verbatim every farden thing that has happened around here?”

  “ ‘Course I have, doll.” Martha’s voice purred out of the phazor-combo unit attached to Tedra’s belt. “At least what she hasn’t been listening to herself.”

  “Mother!”

  “Cut it out, Shani. What was I supposed to do when Falon wouldn’t let you come home even to say hello? Your instincts might trust him enough to let you love him already—”

  “Put that in the past tense.”

  Tedra gave that remark no more than a snort, then continued. “But mine don’t. Which reminds me—why didn’t you call home? Martha said she left you a computer link.”

  “You mean she didn’t tell you that Falon forbade me to use it?” Shanelle replied dryly. “Actually, I was forbidden to talk to her—which is the same thing.”

  “I guess she forgot to mention that.” Tedra frowned down at her waist.

  “I would have—after he changed his mind about it,” Martha grumbled back. “I was waiting for Shani to work on him some more.”

  “Well, I got him down from ‘forever’ to only ‘for a time,’ didn’t I?” Shanelle replied. “I wasn’t pressing my luck any further than that, when you were the one who got him mad enough to say it in the first place.”

  “I like that,” Martha complained. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

  “Fal—” Shanelle began, then did some scowling at the computer link herself. “Real cute, Martha, but try practicing your back-assed psychology on someone else for a change. I don’t love Falon right now. I don’t even like him. And if you’re reading me on your monitors, then you know I’m not lying.”

  “All I read is a bunch of bruised emotions. Perfectly understandable.” Martha chuckled then, which should have warned Shanelle what was coming. “And a perfect match for that bruised bottom of yours.”

  “That’s right, rub it into the ground, why don’t you? I don’t—”

  “That’s enough, you two,” Tedra cut in curtly. “I don’t have much time here, so I don’t intend to spend it listening to both of you squabble.”

  “I don’t squabble,” Martha insisted in an indignant tone. “I enlighten. And Shani got my point, or she wouldn’t be so hot to deny it.”

  Shanelle said nothing to that, but her expression said a lot. Tedra sighed and came over to sit next to her on the bed.

  “We’re going ‘round the block here, when the simple fact is that you were wrong, Shani, and your lifemate was right to point that out to you. Besides, it does absolutely no good to hold a grudge over that, for the simple reason that warriors don’t let their lifemates hold grudges—not for long, anyway.”

  Shanelle still said nothing, so her mother took a different tack, albeit with difficulty. “I couldn’t bear to listen, but Martha said you made a horrible racket. Was it really that bad, Shani, or were you just overreacting?”

  “Both.”

  Tedra winced, but suggested, “I think you probably frightened the hell out of him, Shani. You really should have let him know that you’re handy with a sword. Then he might not have been quite so—upset.”

  “The word is ‘merciless,’ not ‘upset.’”

  Tedra grinned at the tone that had turned to a mere grumble. “I doubt that. But even so, I think you’ve already figured out that you deserved what you got, so there’s really no point in resenting it, is there?”

  In a small voice Shanelle said, “He won’t even let me use a meditech, mother.”

  Tedra put her arm around Shanelle’s shoulders and squeezed. “I hate to say it, but I understand his motive, baby. As long as you already had the punishment, he wants you to have that little extra incentive that will hopefully make sure you don’t have to have it again. I, on the other hand, don’t think that’s necessary. Do you want Martha to take you to a meditech? It wouldn’t take more than a few minutes.”

  “No, thanks. If Falon found out, he’d no doubt think he has to start all over again.”

  “A good point. Feeling better?”

  Shanelle had been choking on resentment and hadn’t even known it. “Yes. But you should have let me stay mad at him a little longer. I don’t want him wondering if he might have stopped too soon.”

  “I’m sure you have no intention of letting him think that,” Tedra said with a half grin.

  “Now that you mention it, I don’t think I will.” Shanelle grinned back.

  “You’re teaching her bad habits,” Martha interjected at that point to warn Tedra.

  Tedra snorted. “She’s joined to a warrior, which means she needs all the help she can get. Speaking of help, where’s that old teaching console you dug up for her new nephew?”

  “Coming right up,” Martha replied, and the machine appeared on the floor at their feet.

  Shanelle smiled widely. “Why, that’s perfect to get Drevan started on.”

  “Sublims would be easier on the kid,” Tedra said, “but Martha tells me your lifemate has an aversion to them, so we didn’t bother looking for your old teachers. But are you sure you want to try educating him on a wider sphere than what these warriors are used to?”

  “If he’s willing. Falon is already breaking ground on dealing with visitors again, so who knows what will happen in a few years. It won’t hurt to have a warrior here who will feel comfortable with visitors and can be of assistance in an advisory capacity.”

  “I didn’t think of that,” Tedra said.

  “I did.” Martha gloated.

  Shanelle managed to keep from chuckling at the scowl the phazor combo got again. “Besides,” she said, drawing her mother’s attention back, “if I can do anything for that boy, I want to give him a feeling of worth, which his mother has tried her damnedest to take from him.”

  “Let’s not mention that female, or I’m liable to seek her out while I’m here and challenge her myself.”

  Martha chuckled. “Your mother appreciated your coming to her defense a number of times, Shani, but she was dying to pin that female to the floor herself.”

  Tedra waved a dismissive hand. “She got hers by getting defeated so fast. I couldn’t have done it any better. Now let’s have a look at you before I go.” Tedra pulled Shanelle to her feet, then grinned as she took in her outfit. “Maybe I should move to Ba-Har-an. Who would have thought these warriors would allow a woman so many freedoms? I’m positively envious.” And then she frowned. “No wonder Challen didn’t want me coming here.”

  Martha pulled out her impatience tone. “If he knows how things are here, I’ll turn my voice off for a month. You know very well he didn’t want you stirring up trouble for Shani by putting Falon in a bad mood. Or have you forgotten you’re on that young warrior’s blacklist as far as mothers-in-law go?”

  “I’ll wager he’s forgotten all about that silly challenge, now that he’s won what he wanted.”

  “Wanna bet?” came out in two different voices, though in perfect sync.

  Tedra scowled. “Well, he farden well better get over it real quick. I’m not going to come snea
king in here every time I want to see my daughter.”

  “I’m working on it, mother,” Shanelle assured her. “But maybe you better go back now, before you get yourself in more trouble.” And then she grimaced at that reminder. “I’m sorry you ended up with a challenge loss to father because of me.”

  “Don’t be silly, baby. Challenge losses are no more than fun and games with my barbarian these days.”

  “Then you didn’t get punished, too?”

  “She sure as hell did,” Martha couldn’t resist saying. “And she’s still not talking to that warrior because of it.”

  “Mother!” Shanelle exclaimed incredulously.

  Tedra gritted her teeth before she snarled at the computer, “I’m not going to be talking to you anymore either, Martha, if you don’t learn when to keep your mouth shut.”

  Shanelle shook her head. “I thought you said warriors don’t let their lifemates hold grudges.”

  “Some warriors have no choice in the matter.”

  “That’s just great. Now I feel even more guilty than I did.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Tedra scoffed. “Your father and I haven’t had a good fight in a long time. I happen to be enjoying myself with this one.”

  “Well, for Stars’ sake, find some other way to enjoy yourself,” Shanelle complained. “And get rid of that phazor unit while you’re at it, before it gets you punished again. What are you doing with it anyway, instead of a regular unit?”

  “I’m in a country I’ve never been in before. I decided not to take any chances. And a phazor is a perfect weapon, since it doesn’t actually look like one in its rectangular box, and stuns its target into immobility instead of killing them.”

  “But if father sees that—”

  “He won’t.”

  But he would, for a moment later he arrived just as Tedra had, and Challen’s expression was about as furious as Shanelle had ever seen it. Stars, what next? It would be just her luck for Falon to return now.

  He did.

  Chapter 42

  Shanelle didn’t know what to say first—“Hello, father,” or “I can explain, Falon.” Her lifemate stood in the doorway frowning at the uninvited crowd in his bedroom. Her father stood there frowning at her mother. Her mother was wearing an I’m-not-budging expression. Shanelle gave up and kept silent, not wanting to instigate what was sure to be a big blowup.