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Your Love Is Mine

Page 17

by Bella Andre


  She couldn’t stay quiet anymore. “You weren’t. And don’t say that I didn’t know you back then, so my opinion doesn’t count. Because no matter how many times you’ve said that your past was worthless, I know it can’t be true. People don’t change from bad to good in four weeks. You’ve always been good, Flynn. Just as you’ve always had so much love inside you.”

  “I want to live up to the man you think you see,” he said in a voice made raw with emotion. “I just don’t know if I can.”

  “I do.” She leaned forward to kiss him softly. “Every time I see you with Ruby, you prove it to me. Which isn’t to say that I’m expecting you to be perfect either. You’re not the only one feeling your way forward here. Heck, I’m the one who was yelling this morning. Even Ruby was stunned.”

  “Your version of yelling and everyone else’s are drastically different. Trust me, I have plenty of experience with yelling, and you most definitely weren’t.”

  She leaned her forehead against his. “I wish you didn’t have so much experience with that. I wish I could have been there to protect you when you were a child. It’s taking everything inside of me to accept that I can’t go back and change the past.” She prayed he would let himself hear her when she added, “You can’t change the past either, Flynn. No matter how much you want to.”

  “I dream about my sister,” he told her in a low voice. “Every night since she died, I’ve dreamed that she’s taken my hand and has finally agreed to leave it all behind—the drugs, the drink, the abuse. But every time, she slips away and I can’t get her back. Until she’s gone, just another statistic. And my heart is broken.” His chest shook as he inhaled a ragged breath. “Last night was the first night I didn’t have the nightmare. Because you were there.”

  “See?” She drew back so that she could look into his eyes. “We’re already helping each other.”

  “You’re helping me. I can’t see how I’m helping you.”

  “You really can’t?” She couldn’t stop her voice from rising again. “Do you think I always glow like this?” She held out her arms so that he could get a good look at her. “Do you think I’m always this inspired?” She gestured to the half-built candy art piece on her worktable that was coming together faster, and better, than anything she’d ever made. “Do you think I haven’t been longing for someone to look at me the way you do, to really see me and absolutely love what he sees? Do you think that when I’m with you and Ruby, I’m not happier than I’ve ever been before? That I’m not more in love than I even knew was possible?”

  It wasn’t until she heard her voice echoing off the walls that she realized how loud it had become. “I’m sorry, I’m doing it again. Yelling when what I really want to do is make everything better for you.”

  Thankfully, Flynn didn’t seem to mind, because he was pulling her back into his arms. “It still doesn’t count as yelling, you know.” He lowered his mouth to hers, and when he was only a breath away, he said, “And you do make everything better. Every single second we’re together—and even when we’re not—you’re changing everything for the better.”

  Though he’d said he couldn’t make her any promises, his kiss said differently. She didn’t need to hear three little words fall from his lips to know that he had promised her his heart.

  They were halfway to needing that second condom when the front door buzzed. Cassie was breathless as she lifted her mouth from Flynn’s. “I’m expecting a delivery.”

  They were both trying to right each other’s hair and clothes when the visitor stepped into her workshop.

  “Cassie, honey…what the hell?”

  Oh God. It wasn’t a delivery after all.

  Though it was impossible to hide the evidence that they were together, Flynn jumped away from her. “Mr. Sullivan, sir.” He looked like he was on the verge of saluting, or bowing, or something else equally ridiculous, given that neither of them had anything to apologize for.

  “Hi, Dad.” Cassie gave her father a kiss on the cheek. “This is a nice surprise. I didn’t know you were going to come by today.”

  Ethan Sullivan was so busy glowering at Flynn that it didn’t look like he was going to respond anytime soon. At which point Cassie decided, In for a penny, in for a pound. Her father was going to have to get over this ridiculous wariness with Flynn. Otherwise, the two of them were going to have some serious words. And he’d better watch out, because she had been working on her yelling.

  Deliberately, she went to Flynn’s side and slid her hand into his. She didn’t want her dad to feel she was choosing sides, but she needed him to understand that she was serious about Flynn—and that she wouldn’t let anyone hurt the man she loved.

  Flynn was stiff as a board beside her, obviously waiting for her father to rip their hands apart. And probably lock her in an ivory tower while he was at it.

  But he didn’t pull away. Another spark of happiness lit inside of her. Instead, he stood by her side the same way she was standing by his.

  “Was there something you wanted to talk with me about, Dad?”

  “I came to wish you luck this weekend.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “And to give you this for good luck.” He handed her a locket with a four-leaf clover inside.

  “Oh, this is lovely.” She let go of Flynn’s hand to hug her father. And whispered into his ear, “You don’t have to worry about me. Flynn is a good man, just like you.”

  Her father’s arms tightened around her before he let her go, then headed out the door without another word. She was about to go after him when Flynn beat her to it.

  “Your father and I need to have a talk.” A beat later, he was gone.

  She was tempted to follow him, but she’d lived with four brothers long enough to know that neither Flynn nor her dad would thank her for getting in the middle of what they needed to work out.

  Good thing she trusted them both enough to know that even if things got worse before they got better, neither of them would wound the other out of anything but concern for her.

  They were two of the most hardheaded men she’d ever met.

  It was no wonder she loved them both so much.

  * * *

  “Mr. Sullivan!”

  One moment, Flynn had been vowing to stay away from Cassie, the next he’d been making love with her against the wall, and now he was chasing her father down the street to beg for his permission to be with her.

  He had no doubt that Ethan was going to say no. Why would he do anything else?

  Nonetheless, Flynn knew he couldn’t fail this first huge test. It was long past time to buck up and fight for something that really mattered.

  Even if he came out battered and bruised on the other side, Cassie was worth fighting any battle for.

  Deep in his heart, Flynn had known it from the moment he’d first seen her smile and reach for Ruby so sweetly.

  “Please,” he called when the other man didn’t slow his pace. “I need to speak with you about Cassie.”

  At last, her father stopped in his tracks. He didn’t turn around right away, and Flynn got the sense he was girding himself for battle. When Ethan finally turned, Flynn knew by the glint in his eyes that he’d been right: Ethan Sullivan was hell-bent on fighting for his daughter’s heart.

  That made two of them.

  “My family has opened up our homes to you. My wife is at this very moment watching your little girl, and this is how you repay us? By dragging Cassie into a sordid fling?”

  Flynn had to work to keep his voice even. “With all due respect, nothing Cassie and I have done is sordid.” On the contrary, every moment with her had been made of wonder and awe, at least on his part. “I understand that you’re furious with me, but don’t take it out on your daughter, or let me come between the two of you, when she has done nothing whatsoever to deserve your scorn.”

  “You’re damned right she hasn’t done anything wrong.” Her father’s glare was as hot as a thousand suns. “And
I’d never turn my back on her. Even if you’re intent on dragging her into your mess. I knew the first time I set eyes on you—”

  “That I’m not good enough for her.” Flynn had no problem whatsoever finishing Ethan’s sentence. “You’re one hundred percent right. I’m nowhere near good enough. I agree wholeheartedly that she deserves the best man in the world to stand by her side and support her through thick and thin, better or worse, good times and bad. And if I were you, I would want me out of the picture too. But…”

  Jesus, was he really about to say this to her father? Lay out his deepest wishes and insecurities, so that the other man could shred them to pieces?

  “Everything she thinks I am,” Flynn said in a voice made strong by love, “everything she thinks I can be, everything she sees when she looks at me—I want to be all those things. I want to be the man she deserves. I want to give her everything she’s ever dreamed of and more.”

  Ethan stared at him in silence before finally responding. “There’s one hell of a big difference between wanting to do something and actually sticking to your goal when times get tough and giving up is easier. I’m not at all surprised that you care for my daughter. You’d be a fool not to. But you haven’t told me one damned thing about what you’re planning to do to prove to all of us that you’re worthy of her.”

  Flynn’s back was entirely against the wall. Deservedly so. But he wasn’t angry with her father for pointing out his deficiencies. On the contrary, he respected Ethan Sullivan more than ever. One day, if he needed to confront one of Ruby’s boyfriends, he was going to remember this moment, when he’d learned what a real father did to keep his children safe.

  “I may never be able to prove it.” Flynn’s voice was low, but determination thrummed in every word. “But you have my guarantee that I’m done backing down. I’m done running. And I’m done lying. Not only to Cassie, but to you and your family.” He looked her father square in the eye and laid himself bare for the second time in his life. “My real name isn’t Flynn Stewart. It’s Joe Miller. I’m from a dead-end town in Illinois. I left when I was seventeen and have told a thousand lies to erase my past and get the things I felt I was owed as reparation for my childhood, for growing up as the kid of violent addicts. I tried to get my sister out, but I wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t determined enough, to convince her to leave behind the only life she knew. By the time she died and I learned about Ruby, I hadn’t spoken to Sarah in over a year.” He felt drained dry by his confession, but he wasn’t done yet. “I’ve vowed to give Ruby everything I couldn’t give my sister. Not just money and opportunity, but love. The same soul-deep, boundless love I feel for your daughter. The same love I still can’t believe she feels for me. And even though I know everything I just told you only proves what a bad bet I am for Cassie, I’m still going to ask you to give our relationship a chance.”

  “And if I say no?”

  “Then I’ll be back tomorrow to ask again. And the day after that. Until you see that when it comes to your daughter, not even her terrifying father is enough to make me run again.”

  Flynn had spent his whole adult life putting words together. Which was how he knew there was nothing more to be said today, nothing he could do to convince Ethan Sullivan to give him a chance. But by tomorrow, he’d make damn sure he had another argument ready. As many as it took.

  “So you’re not going back to Los Angeles?”

  “Ruby loves it here, and so do I.” Ruby was going to do so well growing up in this tight-knit community rather than in one of the overcrowded, often dangerous schools in Los Angeles. “You’re stuck with me in Bar Harbor for the duration.”

  “I see.” Flynn couldn’t read Ethan’s expression. “In that case, let me make one thing clear to you: While I’m sorry that you’ve had a tough life, if you use your past as an excuse to hurt so much as one single hair on my daughter’s head, and if you treat her with anything other than the deepest love and respect, I will personally tear you limb from limb.”

  “If I hurt her, I would do it for you, sir.”

  “I’m happy to hear we’re in perfect agreement.” With that, Ethan reached out, gave Flynn’s hand a quick shake, then turned to walk away. He’d gone only a few feet when he turned back. “Hiding from your past never works. Take it from someone who knows firsthand—it will always come back to bite you. When I met Beth, I knew her family wouldn’t accept a divorced man, so I didn’t tell any of them until it was almost too late. I nearly lost the love of my life.” Before Flynn could respond to the surprising admission, Ethan added, “Beth will be thrilled when she hears that the little girl she’s fallen so in love with isn’t going anywhere. So am I.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Through sheer force of will, Cassie went back to work on building her candy Town Hall, even though she could barely concentrate when she had no idea how things were going between her father and Flynn.

  Ethan Sullivan had always been protective of his daughters. And after Ashley got pregnant in high school, he’d taken it to new extremes.

  Flynn was a million times stronger than the other guys she’d dated. But they’d only just agreed to give their relationship a chance…

  At last, she heard the outside door open. She met Flynn halfway down the hall and was about to ask him how things had gone when his arms went around her and he was kissing her.

  She could get used to this kind of greeting. Only, she still didn’t know what his kiss meant. Was it good-bye? Or—

  For several long moments, he kissed all thoughts out of her head, kissing her again and again and again.

  Finally, he let her lips go for long enough that she was able to ask, “What happened out there?”

  “I told your dad everything. That my real name is Joe Miller. That I grew up in Centertown. That I left when I was seventeen and invented Flynn Stewart out of thin air.”

  “Oh my God, I can’t believe you did that. You really do love me.” She didn’t realize what she’d said until it was too late. “I mean, I hoped that you did, but—”

  “I love you, Cassie. So damned much.” He kissed her again. “I should have said it to you before I told your dad.”

  Her head and heart were spinning faster and faster with every word from Flynn’s beautiful mouth. “You told my dad you love me?”

  “I might have taken a page out of your book and yelled it at him, actually.”

  Though Cassie had told him she loved him many times, it had never been to get him to say the words back. She simply needed him to know how she felt. But now that she knew he loved her too?

  Cassie felt like she was standing beneath a beautiful rainbow while fireworks shot off and her favorite band played only for them.

  Flynn stroked her cheek. “I also told your father that I’m not going to let him, or anyone else, get in the way of my loving you.”

  She didn’t want to spoil the beautiful moment, but she had to ask. “What about your past?”

  He closed his eyes for a moment, clearly fighting the pull his past had over him. “I don’t want to screw this up, Cassie. Not any of it. Not with you. Not with Ruby. Not with your family. But I won’t lie to you either and say that I’m going to be able to change a lifetime of thinking, and behaviors, overnight.”

  “I’m not expecting you to do that, Flynn.”

  “You should. You shouldn’t have to wait for me to catch up.”

  “Catch up?” She put her hand over his heart so that she could feel it beating strong and steady against her palm. “I’d say we’re on pretty even ground right here, where it counts.”

  He went to kiss her again, but she beat him to it. It was tempting to get right to using the second little foil packet, but there was something she didn’t want to forget to ask him first.

  “I know you’ve been intent on keeping your anonymity here in Maine, but would you consider being my date for the awards ceremony in Portland tomorrow night?”

  “I meant it when I told your father I’m no
t going to keep running. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to come clean with everyone, or how many details I want to give about my past, but the one thing I do know is that I’d love to come to Portland to support you. Although I’m guessing babies aren’t on the guest list.”

  Emotion swamped her at the knowledge that Flynn was willing to risk dealing with the press—and their potentially intrusive questions about Ruby and her parentage—to support her. “I already asked Mom and my sisters if they could watch Ruby overnight. Just in case you were up for it.” She squeezed his hand. “But I don’t want you to come if you’re not comfortable being away from Ruby for that long.”

  “If it were anyone but your mom and sisters, I wouldn’t be. But Beth is already like the grandmother Ruby never had.”

  “Oh, she’ll love hearing that.”

  “I still can’t figure out what I’ve done to deserve you. Your family too.”

  “You don’t have to do anything. Just be you.”

  “I’m trying to wrap my heart around the thought that life isn’t one big bartering system. In Hollywood, that’s how the game is played—you’ve got to give something to get something. And when I was a kid…” He shook his head. “It didn’t matter what I tried to barter, nothing ever got any better. But when I’m with you—you’re all my dreams, every fantasy I never thought could come true, all rolled into one.”

  Cupping her face in his hands, he gave her a kiss that was heartbreakingly gentle.

  “Your love,” he whispered, “is mine.”

  She smiled against his lips. “And your love is all mine.”

 

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