“Yes!” Charlotte replied. “Weren’t you going to tell us?”
“Tell you what?” I asked, my hands trembling.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Emma whispered, shaking her head. “You were seen at Gene and Georgetti’s with McDreamy last night!”
The breath left my lungs in a big whoosh. I’d been found out, but this wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected.
“Oh,” I replied. “That.”
“That?!” They cried in unison.
“Spill it, woman,” Charlotte demanded.
“It was no big deal,” I insisted. “We briefly got stuck in the elevator the other day and he asked me out for dinner. I accepted…eventually.”
“Well, that sounds like a meet-cute if I ever heard one!” Mike insisted.
“What’s a meet-cute?” I asked, wrinkling my brow.
“Oh, forget it!” he insisted. “Tell us about the date, we want to know every juicy detail and don’t leave out the good parts!”
“Okay,” I said, letting them lead me down the hallway, “we had steak and spaghetti and meatballs. It was a lovely restaurant. A little stuffy for my taste.”
“We know all about the restaurant,” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes. “Tell us what happened after dinner.”
“I drove home,” I shrugged. “Nothing happened.”
“Drove home?” Emma questioned. “You didn’t let him pick you up from your place?”
“No, I met him there. It was just easier,” I said.
They stopped, suddenly looking at me with squinted eyes.
“What?” I asked.
Finally, after a moment, Mike shook his head. “I don’t get you. He’s hotter than six shades of hell and all you can talk about is what you ate on the date? That’s it? Have you seen the man’s ass?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, Dane was hot. He had a great body, from what I could tell. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wildly attracted to him. But it wasn’t his looks, not exclusively, at least. It was his kindness. His gentleness.
“Look, it was just a casual dinner. It didn’t mean anything,” I insisted, which was the truth.
“McDreamy hasn’t been on a date in years.”
“How would you know that?”
“We know!” They insisted, again in unison.
I laughed, shaking my head.
“Wow, okay…” I turned to walk away, leaving them staring after me with their mouths dropped open and their heads full of questions I didn’t want to answer right now.
As I went on with my day, I felt the rumor mill flying around the hospital almost palpably. Heads started turning as I walked by, followed by rushed whispers that left me shaking in my shoes. By the time the day was over, I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know if people were recognizing me as Dove or if they were talking about my date with Dane.
Either way, having eyes on me at all was making me extremely anxious.
I needed to blend in, not stand out in any way whatsoever.
Relief flooded over me as I finally locked my apartment door behind me at the end of the day. Gigi’s enthusiastic welcome was just what I needed. Her butt shook while her tail wagged wildly, as she covered my face in kisses.
“Hey, girl,” I said, hugging her. “You’re the only person I can trust, you know that?” I asked, staring into her big brown eyes.
I walked to the kitchen and poured her food into her bowl, watching her eat as the events of the last few days ran through my head.
Going on that date with Dane had been a mistake and the gossip today had only proven that. As if I needed another thing to worry about. I’d been a fool to think it would be a good idea.
I shook my head, admonishing myself for not learning my lesson. How many times did I need to be hurt? It was already risky enough just trying to be someone else and be on the run from Nate.
He was definitely enough problem for me to worry about, I didn’t need to add to my plate.
“How did we get here, Gigi?” I asked, as we settled down in front of the television together for the evening. To avoid any sightings of Nate, I put on an old classic movie, but that didn’t keep him out of my head. My mind kept drifting off to the series of events that led me here, whether I wanted to think about them or not.
During his date with Crystalia, I’d stayed home with Gigi, surrounded by Nate’s glass walls. It was almost symbolic, those walls, reminding me of Nate’s public lifestyle in general.
As much as we were secluded here in his home from the prying eyes of the public, the transparency of the walls always left me feeling like I was being watched anyway.
Nate would run around naked sometimes when Rocco had retired to his own house at the end of the driveway, and yet, I couldn’t do it myself.
What if someone got past Rocco and walked up to the house? It was so easy to peer in. I wasn’t ever much of an exhibitionist and somehow the lack of privacy made me want to wear even more clothes.
Tonight, though, all I could do was stare at the front door and wonder when Nate would get home. It was already late, way past midnight, and I was beginning to think he wasn’t going to come home at all when the front door finally opened.
He stumbled in, drunk and sweaty and disheveled, a complete mess.
“You’re drunk,” I said, as he stumbled to the bedroom. I followed him, feeling like a nagging wife, but not caring one bit.
“Meeting ran late,” he slurred.
“Obviously,” I said, rolling my eyes. I sniffed the air and my stomach twisted in knots. Chanel No. 5. I’d recognize that scent anywhere, as my grandmother never left the house without dabbing a little behind her ears and on the insides of her wrists.
He sat on the bed and bent over, attempting to take off his boots, but instead he lost his balance and tumbled to the floor, laughing like a fool at the same time.
“Nate, where were you really?” I demanded, even though I knew the answer.
“What the fuck, Little Bird? I told you I went to dinner, with a movie pr-pr-producer,” he slurred.
I crossed my arms over my chest, watching as he continued trying to pull his boots off. Finally succeeding, he crawled back onto the bed and fell back on the pillows, his hair flopping over one eye. I walked over to him, staring down at him accusingly.
“Nate!”
I wanted to tell him I knew he was lying.
I wanted to tell him I’d seen his text message.
I wanted to tell him how hurt I was.
But within seconds, he’d fallen fast asleep and all I had left to do was cry.
Chapter 28
NATE
I scrolled through the endless amount of DM’s on my social media accounts, a bottle of vodka resting between my legs. The messages were half endless fawning and half potential sightings of Little Bird.
I had Rocco and Sophia assigned to sorting through them, but I liked to take a look myself every now and then. It wasn’t an easy job, I recognized that. Most of the people who contacted me were fucking insane. And unfortunately, it wasn’t easy to decipher between the crazy fucks and the people who genuinely thought they may have actually seen Dove.
So far, I’d resisted telling anyone about the money she stole from my safe. Once I found her, I’d deal with that issue personally. But I knew now, with the amount of messages I was receiving, that even if nobody had actually spotted her just yet, the moment would come and she would be in front of me again.
Reckoning.
That’s what I yearned for.
She couldn’t just take my money and disappear. After everything I’d done for her? Who did she think she was? Who did she think I was?
Whatever was going on in her pretty little head, she was sorely mistaken.
I hated the punishment I was going to have to dole out on her, but she brought it all on herself.
Sure, I loved her.
Sure, I wanted the best for her.
But I also know that what’s best for her is me. She was nothing
before she met me. What was she doing back then? Holding hands with sick kids? Seriously?
What a fucking waste.
First of all, she was fucking hot. She didn’t realize just how smoking she was, which was also a huge turn-on. I’d had many confident women in my bed — most of them stars in their own right — and I had absolutely no patience for those high maintenance bitches.
“I’m the only high maintenance bitch I have time for,” I muttered to myself, laughing maniacally, as I kept scrolling.
As much as I hated to admit it, Little Bird was good for me, too. I knew that. She’d kept me grounded. She’d kept me focused, as much as anyone could. And it was nice having someone else around that didn’t spend hours obsessing over their appearance.
I mean, yeah, with Little Bird, I had to get her cleaned up and polished before she was really ready to be seen with the few times we went out in public. She was a mess in that department. But with some money and the skills of my team, she was all shiny and new in no time. She resisted the boob job, but I was in the process of wearing her down about that before she’d left. For the most part, though, her beauty came naturally and that was attractive in itself.
It gave me more time to think about me.
And let’s face it — that’s what I needed to be thinking about.
Which is another thing that pisses me off about this whole mess. I need to be writing an album right now and focused on my shows. Instead, I’m scrolling through Instagram trying to figure out where she’s gone.
I shouldn’t have to think about her.
That’s why I need to find her sooner than later, so I can bring her back and give her the punishment she deserves, and then we can move on with our lives together. She needs to learn her lesson — and yes, it’s a big one this time — but we’ll get past this — as long as she doesn’t make me wait too long.
The longer this goes on, the angrier I’m getting. I mean, just going public with it was humiliating enough. If it kept going and she didn’t show, then I was never going to forgive her and then, well — I’d just have to kill her, I guess.
I mean, like I said — she can’t get away with this shit. I want things to end nicely, but time is ticking.
That’s when I make the decision to escalate things. Rocco and Sophia aren’t moving fast enough. If there are any real sightings of Little Bird, they’re going to get lost in the sheer volume of messages and we’ll never find her.
It’s clear now that I need a professional.
I grab my guitar sitting next to me and begin strumming softly. A tune comes to mind, and then the first spark of a new song comes to mind.
“Little Bird, flew away…Little Bird, my lovebird…how do I say I’m sorry…when you’re left so abruptly…come back, Little Bird, let me love you again…”
“Well, that’s shit, but I’ll work on it,” I mumbled to myself. Quickly, I write the lyrics down on my phone before I forget them, then stand up and stumble into the coffee table, my hand landing right into the pile of cocaine piled on the table.
“Oh, damn,” I said, sniffing the remnants from my fingers. Laughing, I grab the vodka bottle and stumble down the hallway toward my bedroom — the bedroom I shared with Little Bird.
I’m drunk, wasted, heartbroken…and very fucking determined.
I crawl into bed, pushing away the tangled limbs of the three naked, sleeping models still piled under the sheets. Last night’s party had lasted well into the morning, and the first signs of sunlight begin streaming through the windows as I passed out beside them.
Chapter 29
SAMANTHA
I was getting into the bad habit of falling asleep on my couch and my aching body was not happy about it. Gigi and I ventured off into the neighborhood for a walk after breakfast to stretch out my sore muscles.
Gigi didn’t help, though, up to her usual antics of lunging for every living things she came across. Five minutes into the walk, my shoulder was screaming from attempting to keep her under control.
Not wanting to take any chances, I’d shoved a ball cap on my head and put on a newly bought pair of sunglasses that looked nothing like the dark movie-star ones Nate had always insisted I wear. I threw on a baggy pair of jeans and a dark blue hoodie that hung loosely on my body. It had the desired effect — nobody seemed to look twice at me — but that wasn’t the same for Gigi. She drew attention wherever she went, just because of her massive size alone. If I could have, I’d have given her a makeover, too, but dyeing her coat was cruel and there really wasn’t anything at all I could do.
At least Nate didn’t have the entire world looking for her, too.
I still hadn’t replied to Dane’s message and I woke up feeling guilty about that whole thing. I never should have gone out with him in the first place, I realized that now. The look of disappointment on his face when I turned to walk away outside the restaurant had haunted me throughout the night. As much as I’d tried to enjoy it — and I had enjoyed parts of it — I shouldn’t have started anything with Dane at all.
He deserved something different than whatever my reality had turned into.
He deserved to be with someone who could be honest with him. Who could show him who she really was and have a true, authentic relationship with him. Not some farce of a lie that I was forced to live now.
Loneliness.
That was what I was doomed to now. I needed to just accept my fate, but it stung. The idea that I’d never be able to love again. That I’d never again be able to wake up next to someone I loved.
The amount of joy I’d miss was not lost on me.
But it was better this way. By all appearances, Dane was a good man and he deserved a good —
“Samantha!” A man’s voice boomed behind me, stopping me and Gigi in our tracks.
Slowly, I turned around, coming face to face with the very man I was thinking about.
“D-Dane!” I cried, looking around to get my bearings. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts, I’d been letting Gigi drag me around the neighborhood aimlessly. We were at least ten blocks away from our apartment, standing in front of a large Tudor-style home with an immaculately groomed garden.
I blinked a few times, trying to clear the confusion clouding my rattled brain.
“Wow, what a coincidence,” he said. “I was just thinking about you.”
I stared back, speechless. Had I conjured him up? Why was he standing on this sidewalk?
I looked around slowly, then turned back to him with a questioning look.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Me?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I could ask the same of you.”
He took a step towards me and Gigi lost it. She began barking loudly and lunging towards him. He dropped to his knees in front of her, fearlessly greeting her huge barking face with a smile. Immediately, she began lapping his cheeks with glee. So terrifying.
“I’m walking this beast, obviously,” I said. “Do you live around here?”
“I live right here,” he said, pointing to the house looming behind us.
“Oh.” I nodded, solemnly, staring at the house.
He wrinkled his brow, still kneeling in front of Gigi and dodging her massive tongue as he cocked his head.
“I take it you live nearby?”
“Um, yeah,” I replied, my nerves rattled.
This was way too familiar. This was how I met Nate. And now, I find out the person I’m determined to avoid lives just a few blocks away? It’s just wrong. Why was the universe doing this to me?
“What’s wrong?” he asked, finally standing and peering into my eyes. My stomach flipped and I swallowed hard.
“Um, nothing,” I said, tugging on Gigi’s leash. I wanted to escape. More than anything in the world, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
Dane stared at me silently, then slowly, he shook his head.
“I don’t get it,” he said.
“What?”
“Samantha,” he said, making me cringe because that was not my name and I still wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I like you. I thought we had a nice dinner the other night. But you don’t seem interested. Well, actually you do, but for some reason you didn’t write me back. And I’m not pressuring you or anything, don’t get me wrong. I mean, hey, not everyone is going to be interested in the Kidney King, right?” He winked and I burst out laughing, despite myself.
He beamed at me, Gigi dancing at our feet.
My heart soared, that yearning for connection always present, always defying my brain.
“Am I that bad?” he asked, a sincere smile stretching across his handsome face.
“It’s not you, Dane, it’s…”
“You?” he finished.
“Well, yeah,” I admitted, sheepishly. “I’m just not good at dating, I guess.”
I said the first thing that came to mind, but it was true. I was certainly not good at that, nor did I expect to be for a very long time.
“Is anyone good at dating?” Dane laughed. “It’s torture, isn’t it?”
“So you’re saying you feel the same way?” I asked. “Is that why everyone at the hospital is so invested in your dating status?”
“Ah, you heard all the rumors this week, too.”
“I did,” I admitted. “Just like every hospital, gossip spreads like wildfire.”
“Sorry about that,” he said. “You just moved here and already you’re the subject of a bunch of wagging mouths.”
“Not your fault,” I shrugged.
“Well, since we’re both so terrible, maybe we could practice together?”
“I don’t know,” I said, taking a step back and shaking my head. It was meant to put some space between us, but all it really did was give me a better view of him. He wasn’t as overtly handsome as Nate, but there was something so warm and inviting about his eyes and his smile that I just wanted to crawl into his arms and stay there forever.
“Tell you what,” he said. “How about we go somewhere we’re less likely to be recognized?”
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