A Love Hate Thing

by Whitney D. Grandison

  And then, without warning, he rocked into me.

  Tyson leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. “You okay?” he breathed out.

  I could only manage a nod, my breathing already jagged the more he moved.

  Soon, we formed a motion, a rhythm, and got into a groove as our movements intensified.

  It was better than it would’ve been at the beach or in my bedroom, because I loved him, and I knew he loved me.

  * * *

  I clutched the sheets around my body as Tyson leaned over and kissed my shoulder. We lay side by side under the fort, closer than ever. I felt giddy suddenly, as if everything was finally okay and settled. Well, almost.

  “Hey,” I said. “I want to apologize for how I behaved in the beginning. Even if we didn’t end up here, I wish I’d been nicer. I’m sorry.”

  Tyson lifted his head from his pillow, at first slowly beginning to smile, but soon he was laughing at me.

  It made me feel self-conscious. “What?”

  Tyson grinned like an idiot. “Yo, that was all it took to get you to shut up and be nice for once?”

  I bit at my lip as I reached out to nudge him. “Why did we even wait?”

  “I should’ve just taken you down at the door, huh?”

  I giggled. “Maybe.”

  Tyson caressed my cheek. “Nah, I think this was perfect. It was more.”

  It was.

  “We’re going to be fine,” I insisted with extra hope.

  Tyson nodded. “We’ll go and enjoy senior year.”

  “I don’t want it to just stop there. I want it to go beyond.” He had disappeared ten years ago, but now he was back, and I wanted it to be for good and for always.

  “We’ll go off to college and later marry and all that, huh?”

  “You’ll be a great American writer and I’ll work for my mom’s company.”

  “And kids?”

  “We’ll have two kids, and a big house that I’ll decorate.”

  “Two girls?”

  “No, a boy and a girl.”

  He seemed to agree after a moment. “We’ll teach them young that they’re kings and queens and have all the potential in the world. And you’re going to learn to braid so our daughter can run around with beads in her hair.”

  My eyes watered the more we spoke. “And we’ll have to adopt from Thailand, in honor of Jordy.”

  Tyson wiped away my tears. “Definitely.”

  “You’re going to come back, okay? What’s a queen without her king?” I asked as I eyed him sheepishly.

  He came and pressed his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you,” I told him. And I did, with everything in me.

  39 | Trice

  In the beginning, when I was recovering, I’d considered killing myself. All I’d wanted was to be where she was, wherever she was.

  I’d ignored her last request, wanting no part of it, until now.

  When my mother died, I was given a letter she’d written well before she’d died, her last words. She’d known she was a goner, and that had upset me more than anything. It was like she’d always felt that way, always telling me that I would see a better future. That I deserved to be happy. I’d felt betrayed. Like all the private conversations we’d had late at night were lies. She had never intended to start a new life with me; she’d known he wouldn’t let her, and she hadn’t been willing to fight for it.

  It had taken me a while to finally read her letter, and once I had, for the longest time, I’d done nothing. She had wanted me to find peace and happiness, to live to the fullest of my heart’s content. But I was stubborn. So for months I’d left my bank account as it was, ignoring the sum of over fifty thousand dollars in it.

  Some of it was my collection from boosting, and the rest came from my mother’s life insurance.

  It wasn’t much, but I was willing to bargain with it to get Mexico out of town.

  And then I’d be done with Lindenwood for good.

  I showered in the pool house Saturday evening, preparing to start fresh. My mother had wanted the money to go toward good, and I couldn’t think of anything better than freedom.

  The sound of the shower curtain being pulled back shifted my attention. Nandy was standing there, dressed in a silk kimono.

  “Before you go,” she said with a coy grin.

  In seconds, she was untying the string and dropping the kimono, revealing that she wasn’t wearing anything beneath it. The sight of her naked body excited me instantly. Nandy could tell.

  She stepped into the shower with me and closed the curtain behind herself.

  “Going away present?” I joked.

  “No,” she said. “It’s an early welcome home present.”

  * * *

  Nandy lay on her stomach on my bed as I finished getting ready to go. She was wearing her kimono again with her feet kicked up in the air, eating a bowl of fruit. I almost threw caution to the wind and forgot the whole venture altogether.

  “You could stay,” Nandy said. “We could stay here, and like, do stuff.”

  I suppressed a smile. “Stuff?”

  “Uh-huh.” I watched her eat a piece of fruit, paying attention to the way her lips wrapped around the spear of pineapple before she took a bite. She knew she had me, and so, like the devil she was, she winked.

  I had to go.

  “Sounds promising, but you know I gotta do this,” I told her.

  Nandy made a face and set her fruit aside. She looked up at me. “Okay, if we make it in the long run as a couple—”

  “If, huh?”

  “—you’re totally on cooking duty.”

  “You did all right, why just me?”

  “Well, you’re the writer, you’ll be home.”

  “I never said I wanted to be a writer.”

  Nandy deadpanned, “Really, Tyson? You just wrote that story, or book for all I know.”

  “That was therapy. Besides, I might wanna be a basketball player.”

  Nandy wrinkled her nose. “No offense, but you’re a bit...much for basketball.”

  I lifted a brow as I headed her way. “What are you trying to say?”

  “Oh nothing, your build is just more football than basketball and—”

  I took her down, lying on top of her and grasping at her sides.

  Nandy giggled under me as she tried to push me off. “No, Tyson. No!”

  With her thighs wrapped around me, I slid my hands up her sides, enjoying her curves. “Did you just say no to me? Did you?”

  Her giggles increased as well as the desire on her face. “What? You made a good breakfast. Can’t take a compliment?”

  My lips found hers and quieted her down. Kissing was one of the top things that could stop Nandy’s mouth.

  She knew I had to go, and for that she clung to me, kissing me deeper and tugging at my shirt to keep me in her grasp.

  “Tyson,” she whined when I resisted her power and pulled away.

  “It’ll be quick.”

  She pouted. “Like two hours, maybe even three.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I got business to get into, then I’m all yours. If you really wanna do me a favor, you’ll stay here just like this and wait for me.”

  Nandy barely smiled. “Okay.”

  I stood from my bed and crossed over to my dresser, where I grabbed my composition book and walked it back over to Nandy.

  “Maybe you can read this,” I suggested. “I’ve been skimming it, and I’m pretty sure whenever I go to type it I’ll be adding in more. Shit, it might be a novel or something when I’m through. Don’t laugh, but I sorta feel accomplished. It’s not a real book, but it’s all my words, and I don’t know, I just thought it was neat.”

  Nandy accepted the notebook. “You sho
uld feel accomplished. This is a lot.” She sifted through the pages and admired my penmanship before going to the first page and beginning to read.

  I leaned down to kiss her temple. “I love you.”

  She peeked at me. “You better.”

  I nudged her. “Say it back.”

  She chewed on her lip. “I’ll say it when you get back.”

  It was just a simple trip, but I wanted to hear her say it just in case I got caught up. “Please?”

  The look on her face almost made me freeze. She didn’t want to say it, and I could tell she was putting up a front. Sure, she was letting me head back to Lindenwood—not that she had a choice—but her nonchalance was an act, and I could see in her eyes that she was afraid.

  “Tyson, please.” She lowered her gaze and fiddled with my book. “You’re acting like something’s going to happen. And I don’t want to entertain the thought. You know how I feel, so come back and I’ll say it, okay?”

  As if a new life and fresh start weren’t motivation enough, coming home to hear her say those words definitely inspired me more.

  With one more kiss, I left her in the pool house and made my way outside.

  Inside the main house, I discovered Shayne and Edi running around in sparkly dresses, giggling about something. Kyle sat out in the family room with Jordy on the sofa, awkwardly fidgeting as he took every other moment to peer at Shayne.

  “Ty!” Shayne came over to me and squeezed my arm in an attempt for affection. “You coming to the Hook with us? Where’s Nandy? She said she was going out to be with you.”

  “We’re actually going to stay in and watch a movie,” I said.

  Shayne made a show to groan. “Lame!” She then flashed me a smile before facing Edi. “Come on! Let’s go find some of Nandy’s earrings to borrow!”

  Together the terrible twosome raced out of the room to scavenge through Nandy’s things.

  Kyle came over to me and offered a nod, or maybe a gesture to get his hair out of his eyes. “Hey.”

  “So you guys are hanging out,” I noted.

  Kyle blushed. “Shayne said I did such a good job carrying their things yesterday at the beach that I can carry their purses at the club tonight.”

  I shook my head. “Hell no. Don’t let her walk all over you. You gotta be more assertive, or she’s never going to respect you.”

  Kyle chuckled and tugged on his collar. “I—I don’t think I have it in me to be mean, you know, to her. Or anyone.”

  Not that it was a major problem, or a problem in general, but Kyle didn’t have a tough bone in his body. He was right, he couldn’t be mean, but he could be respected.

  “Okay, when Edi gets down here you’re going to tell her you’re not holding her purse for her,” I said.

  Kyle was confused. “Okay, why?”

  “You’re going to say everything you wanna say to Shayne to Edi.”

  “But—”

  “Listen to him,” Jordy cut in as he stood from the sofa. “The dude’s a chick guru.”

  Kyle blinked. “Even you have a girlfriend?”

  “No, he’s too young. He’s just smart enough to get in now and stake his claim. That way, when they’re of age, he’s got first dibs,” I replied.

  “Sorta like you did with Nandy?” Kyle asked.

  Jordy groaned loudly as he passed us by. “That’s my sister!”

  The girls could be heard coming back down the steps, and soon they were in our presence once more. I nudged Kyle to go on.

  With his chest slightly puffed up, he walked over to Edi and stood firm. “Edi?”

  She stopped comparing stolen goods with Shayne and faced the boy in front of her. “Yeah?”

  “You look amazing tonight. That dress just compliments everything about your beauty.”

  Edi gushed and touched her chest. “Aww, thank you.”

  “Tonight, I don’t want to hold your purse,” Kyle said boldly. “I’d rather hold your hand.”

  Edi was surprised, as she looked to Shayne, to me, and then back to Kyle. And then she burst into laughter. “Sorry, Kyle, but not only would my brother fold you into a pretzel for talking to me, I just can’t get into a chico blanco flaco, sorry.”

  She breezed past him with a small frown before exiting the room.

  Kyle appeared defeated.

  I said nothing, I just waited for it.

  Shayne came over, and instead of walking by Kyle, she took his hand. Even in her heels, she couldn’t reach his tall height. She was only five-two. On her toes, she swiftly pressed her lips to his cheek before standing back. “‘Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.’ Rumi said that, never forget. Chin up, you did good. Kyle. I’ll be in the car.”

  Shayne let go of his hand and followed Edi out of the room.

  Kyle raised his hand to his cheek, as if to seal her kiss there. He faced me, eyes wide, smiling goofily. “She said my name.”

  “And now you gotta buy her a Sprite with a splash of cranberry, the only way to get it pink, and dance with her.”

  “Dude, I don’t know what to say. But thank you,” Kyle said, sounding both radiant and serious. “Before you got here, none of these guys ever really spoke to me. Now the girl, the dream, just said my name and kissed my cheek. Trice, I’m really glad you’re here, and I’m glad you decided to stick by me rather than falling in with Chad and his friends.”

  It had been a gamble I’d won out on. “Nah, I’m just glad you’re you, Kyle. This night is yours, man, go and get your girl.”

  Kyle seemed to be puffing his chest out. “I feel like a man now. I think I just grew a chest hair.”

  I chuckled. “I’ve got something to get into, but I expect to hear results tomorrow.”

  Kyle agreed, and together we headed out of the house. Out front, the boys—Ashley, Warhol, Matt, and Travis—surrounded the Catalano driveway as they talked shit back and forth. Kyle joined them, and I stepped over for a quick hello.

  “Would you rather hook up with Mrs. McGreery or Ms. Foster?” Ashley asked, causing the boys to groan in disgust.

  From summer school, I knew Mrs. McGreery was pushing a million. Ms. Foster had to be the better choice.

  Matt frowned. “Why do I get the tough question?”

  Warhol shoved him. “Quit stallin’.”

  Matt twisted his face. “Ms. Foster.”

  “Dude, she smells like she bathes in cat piss!” Travis frowned.

  “At least she’s young.”

  “This is what you’re doing?” I was stupid enough to ask them.

  Ashley shrugged. “Pretty much. We’re heading to the club, but for now it’s Warhol’s turn.”

  “Give me something good, Catalano,” Warhol said.

  Travis rubbed his hands together, smiling deviously. “Would you rather catch your parents having sex, or...your grandma masturbating?”

  Warhol’s face twisted in revulsion. “Is death an option, because I’m totally all for that.”

  Travis shook his head. “Nah, you gotta choose. Your mom’s got like eight kids. You know she’s a freak.”

  Warhol shoved Travis. “She has one more than your mom, asshole.”

  “Yeah, but my mom had one set of twins. Yours had two because she was really getting it in.”

  Warhol went on to mumble some profanities Travis’s way. “Why are we even friends?”

  Travis flashed a crooked smile. “’Cause I’m funny.”

  “God, how long, and how much do I see?”

  “At least a minute and you see everything.”

  “What position are my parents in?”

  Travis shrugged. “I don’t know, your mom looks like a doggy-style kind of girl.”

  Warhol almost gagged. “My parents.”

  The better question was, why was I
friends with any of them? They had an odd way of having fun. Harmless, but odd indeed.

  “I’m heading out,” I said as I backed away and started for my ride.

  “Wait up,” Travis said as he jogged over to me. “You sure about this?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  “My car’s still up for grabs.”

  “I appreciate it, I really do, but I got it covered.”

  Travis stood back. “A’ight then, hurry back. Matt was at the store earlier and saw a girl who looks like Rihanna and heard her talking about going to the Hook tonight. I’m so in there.”

  I managed to smile. “That your dream girl or something?”

  “Nah, I really don’t have a specific type of dream girl, just as long as she’s fine as hell and on birth control. Although, there’s just something about black girls with green eyes that gets me every time. I swear that’s my kryptonite.”

  I was with him on not having a specific type. Of course, black girls in general were my type, whether their eyes were green, hazel, or the common brown. “I don’t know about the eye color thing, but I feel you on the birth control part.”

  “Yeah, I mean—” He stood back and crossed his arms. “You hit?”

  “This is not a conversation I’m comfortable having, Trav.”

  He chuckled and raised his hands. “Fair enough. Congrats, though. You just hurry up. We have things to get into tonight and celebrate.”

  “Yeah, you get to that and just pray the girl don’t end up looking like Deebo from Friday or some shit.”

  Travis smirked and held up a middle finger. “Matt knows me and my taste, thank you very much.”

  We did our little handshake, and I climbed in my car and drove off.

  * * *

  Lindenwood would always be a part of me, good or bad. It just was. This town made me, and I couldn’t forget that, even if I was now choosing to turn my back on it and reside in Pacific Hills. I would never truly fit in there. I would probably always be that tough guy from the ’Wood to the ignorant, but as long as my people rocked with me, that was all that mattered.