Ripoff

by St. James, Morgan

  From: Avarice-2

  To: jharrison@msn.com,Matt@hotmail.com,

  ghost@aol.com

  Saturday, 3:00 at Julia’s house—the one in Medina. See, I know exactly where she lives. Leave the gate open. If all three of you aren’t there, I will take action! You WILL pay the consequences. AVARICE-2

  Cami wasn’t kidding when she said she would make it threatening. If I were any of them, I’d be beside myself at this point wondering who Avarice-2 would turn out to be.

  I said, “Well, I just read it, and yep, they should be as shaken as a chocolate malted. Remember when this first started, one of us said something about feeling like Charlie’s Angels? I sure wish I felt brave like they were.”

  “Think of it this way, Kiddo. We’ll be fine. The Angels always came out on their feet. Okay, I admit, they had to—the writers needed them for the next caper.”

  Just like Kate. Always the negotiator. But it broke the icy cloud hanging over the conversation, We laughed, chatted a little longer and finally said goodbye.

  • • • • •

  The bell rang just before 11:00 on Friday morning. There stood Kate and Cami, each with a small suitcase and a briefcase. One of the outstanding features of my condo is the wonderful view. That day sailboats bobbed up and down on the calm water, popcorn clouds filled the sky and there wasn’t even a hint of rain in the air. We had the rest of the day and evening to work out what would happen next.

  Nate had called right before I learned that the email had already been sent to give me the name and number of his contact, Agent Otto Griswold, at the local FBI office and said he would be on call for us 24/7.

  I could tell how worried Nate was from the tone of his voice. I couldn’t begin to imagine how he would react if he knew about the email, and hadn’t been able to face calling him back to tell him. However, I did call Agent Griswold that morning and summoned the courage to let him know what Kate and Cami did.

  Kate stood by the big picture window looking out at the lake. She turned toward us looking very determined “I think I should be the one to pose as Avarice-2. We have a stake in this. I can pull it off. They know how analytical I am, so they would believe I could be the one who unearthed their scheme. Besides, I never told you but I’m a martial arts expert. Jujitsu, kickboxing, and a bunch of other martial arts you might or might not recognize. My dad was a champion when he was stationed in Japan and he taught me and my kid sister very well.”

  It seemed as though they had completely forgotten about agreeing to turn everything over to the FBI, and at that point I made no mention of the call I placed before they arrived. I let them discuss it a little longer before spoiling their fun. Call it a bit of payback.

  Cami assumed a stance. “That’s impressive, Kate but I’m almost a black belt in karate and I happen to know jujitsu, too. I’ve been studying for years. Why not me?”

  “Because I’m bigger than you and, well, I think I can look more threatening. I’ve won all sorts of awards, but usually don’t tell anyone. I discovered it’s a sure way to scare off a potential boyfriend. My sister and I used to beat each other up so badly when we were goofing around Dad wound up driving us to the emergency room more than once.” She shrugged. “If anything went wrong I could take care of myself. This body is a lethal weapon.”

  I excused myself, went to the kitchen and poured three glasses of chardonnay. Unless I’m having a nice lunch in a restaurant I rarely drink during the day, but I needed to calm my nerves for what I was about to say.

  After handing each of them a glass, I waited until we clinked, then said, “Well, neither of you is going to be a lethal weapon. You sent the email without my approval, and remember you did agree that the FBI could handle it now. Nate put me in touch with the local agent he has on the case, and when I called him this morning I told him about the email. Their person will show up for the meeting, not one of us.”

  My two sidekicks stared at me in disbelief.

  “You what?”

  “I called in the FBI just like we agreed we would. I sort of figured you two might develop selective amnesia. This way no one will get hurt. We are not commandos, regardless of how you picture yourselves.”

  “So what now?”

  “Well, Agent Griswold was pretty upset that we’d gone this far. I tried to explain that you thought you were doing the right thing, but all he said was something like, “I hate working with amateurs, but at least you told me what you, and I quote, ‘you idiots’ did. One more mess to clean up.”

  “And—”

  And he wants to meet us at his office this afternoon.

  ~47~

  We sat in front of Agent Griswold’s desk like kids called into the Principal’s office. At that moment I knew in my heart Kate and Cami would have gone ahead with their stupid plan if I hadn’t called him.

  Griswold was a big man, not heavy but tall and somewhat stout. The overall effect was imposing. All business. As he stared us down, he scrunched his bushy brown eyebrows, which were practically the same shade as the suit jacket stretched across his broad shoulders. His deep voice held no smile or warmth. “This is treacherous stuff you’re playing with. For chrissakes, you’re two marketing reps and a controller. I can’t make this any clearer. Butt out!”

  I nodded, sort of relieved that he was lecturing them. Cami glared and Kate appeared uninterested, as though his admonitions were overkill. At last Cami gave him one of her flirty smiles and he reacted with a sub-zero stare.

  Cami said through clenched teeth, “Enough with the warnings, Agent Griswold, I get the message. You want us to get lost. So what exactly are we supposed to do now?”

  “Miss Holiday, what you do now is to fill me in on anything that has happened since you turned your information over to Mr. Hartman right through being stupid enough to send a threatening email. Then, to put it simply, the three of you are to cool it. Am I making myself clear? Any interference from you could put you in jeopardy, not to mention derailing our operation. We will let you know what happens. That’s it.”

  Cami pursed her lips and lowered her lids. “But, we’re the ones who found everything. Surely you can see we’re capable. We can take care of ourselves and—“

  “—and you will do that by staying out of my operation. Period! You’ve set the stage for the meeting tomorrow. That’s enough. Just consider you’ve done your civic duty.”

  He was right and I was more than ready to beat a hasty retreat. When Cami got up from the chair and brushed her skirt smooth, Kate got up, too, and extended her hand. I was surprised they had given up so easily. But, I was also relieved. Both of my friends thanked him for his concern for their safety and said they knew justice would be done.

  We weren’t 50 yards from his office door when I realized Cami’s balled fists and Kate’s angry strides told a different story. My friends hadn’t given up at all.

  Nothing was said until we were back in the car.

  Finally Kate said, “If he thinks we’re just going to stand by and not even be there when it happens, he’s nuts. We deserve to see them lead Julia and Matt out in cuffs, or whatever they do in situations like this. Besides, I want to see who Ghost is, then watch the expression on his or her face.

  Cami punched her fist in the air. “Well, Kimberly, are you with us?”

  I warbled a weak, “I don’t think so,” but Cami said enthusiastically, “Look, we know when and where the meeting is. After all we’re the ones who set it up. We can park the car down by the post office again, and get there a little early. The gate will be open, so we can slip in and hide behind that clump of huge rhododendron bushes right inside the gate. That’s far enough from the house that we won’t be seen, and Griswold and his boys won’t be able to see us when they drive in either, but we’ll be able to watch the—what do they call it? Oh yeah, takedown, through openings in the bushes.”

  I shouted, “That’s crazy, you guys. We could get into real trouble if anything goes wrong.”

  Kate’s eyes
narrowed. “Go wrong? What could possibly go wrong with the FBI there? Don’t be ridiculous.” She glanced over at Cami and Cami nodded. “We’re going with or without you. Besides, it’s not like you’re breaking your promise to Nate. Technically we won’t be involved. We’ll just watch.”

  Oh, God. I knew right then there was absolutely no way of stopping those two. At least what they were planning wouldn’t be as dangerous as pretending to be Avarice-2 and actually going inside the house. I did go along with the plan because a little imaginary devil sat on my shoulder whispering, “Maybe Cami’s right and you’ll miss all the fun.” Meanwhile, my inner voice of reason insisted I shouldn’t go along with this and urged me to talk them out of it. Reason lost. We deserved to see them caught like rats.

  I knew Nathan would go ballistic if he ever found out and the whole escapade would probably spell the end of my having any chance with him at all. I convinced myself I was only tagging along to keep my friends under control.

  During an early dinner we speculated who Ghost would turn out to be.

  “I think it’s someone we don’t know. After all, who is left? Maybe it’s someone in D.C.” Cami took a bite of her Moroccan lamb with curried rice. “Mmmm. You were right, this is great. Yeah, that’s probably it. Someone they knew way before us.”

  I didn’t agree. “Maybe it’s someone who doesn’t even work for the government. It could even be one of the Superior Moving people, you know.”

  Kate interjected, “Or one of the contracting agents.”

  The ideas swirled, but by the time dinner was done we didn’t have any idea of who might call themselves Ghost.

  ~48~

  I suppose it sounds a little cloak and dagger now, but the next morning I got the brilliant idea that we should wear disguises again. Remembering the crusty old security guard, I was afraid if he drove by and spotted us anywhere near her house, that jerk might report us as suspicious characters.

  Kate and Cami had a good laugh when I produced the two wigs they had worn during our undercover caper. As for me, I tied a scarf around my head in the style of some of the famous Jackie Kennedy photos and wore a big pair of sunglasses like hers.

  We left ourselves lots of time to make sure we would be in place before the FBI team arrived.

  During a leisurely stroll toward Julia’s house, we acted as though we belonged in the neighborhood. Avarice-2 was obviously expected, because the gate was open. So far everything was going according to plan, except our timing. We had arrived way too early. It did seem a bit strange to me that Julia’s car was parked at a slight angle in the drive right in front of the house, but I figured maybe she didn’t want to bother putting it in the garage.

  We darted behind the tall blooming bushes laden with magnificent hot pink and purple flowers and prepared to wait. I didn’t give her car another thought. But then the front door opened and Julia rushed out.

  She aimed her remote at the trunk lid which popped open. Dragging a large wheeled suitcase from the porch to the car, she pushed down the handle and hefted it into the trunk. After stopping to take a few deep breaths, she turned and dashed back into the house. When she came out again she had another suitcase. Matt followed balancing a carton on his shoulder. The pair went back into the house, leaving the trunk lid open.

  Kate whispered, “I think they’re taking off and it’s too early for Griswold!”

  This couldn’t be happening. We weren’t supposed to get involved. I glanced at my watch. Only 2:30. I pulled out my cell phone to call Griswold. If he was anywhere in the vicinity and could arrive early it would short-circuit anything Kate and Cami might be tempted to do. Damn. The screen was dark. In all the excitement I’d forgotten to charge it and the battery was dead. I shoved it back in my purse.

  Cami breathed, “We must have really scared them. If we wait for Griswold, they’ll get away. Kate, are you in?”

  Before I could stop them, my friends charged toward the house at a run. Afraid or not, I had to stop them. They had quite a lead, and my feet felt like iron weights as I sprinted toward the house far behind them.”

  This is probably a good time to mention that physical combat has always been against my religion—I’m a devout coward. Even if my life depended upon it, I’m not sure I could punch someone. I have this vision of my arm immobilized in midair, caught in a vise created by my own traumatized mind. Besides, I had no idea what help I could possibly be. I just knew even if I couldn’t stop them, I had to do something.

  I was still pretty far behind when Cami pounded on the fancy door while Kate leaned on the bell. Julia finally answered shouting, “God damn it. Who…” The shock on her face was almost worth the tap dance my heart was doing when she realized who they were despite the wigs. She took one step back just as Cami delivered some kind of knee kick right to Julia’s abdomen. The force of the kick reeled Julia back into the foyer.

  With the door still open, I watched in fascination as Julia teetered back and forth in what looked like a goofy dance. She finally lost her balance and crashed to the marble floor with a solid thunk, her head hitting the floor. By the time I stepped into the foyer, Cami straddled the dazed woman, pinning her down. She looked so petite atop that hefty body, I almost wanted to laugh. Julia’s limp body reminded me of a beached whale, except for the arms and legs which were askew similar to a big rag doll.

  Cami got to her feet and shrugged like it was nothing. “Guess you could say I punched her lights out.”

  Meanwhile Kate had chased Matt into the living room. She wasn’t kidding about being a lethal weapon. By the time we reached them, he was trying to back away while shielding himself from her attack by raising his hands in front of his face. She knocked his hands aside and pressed her thumbs into the sides of Matt’s neck just below his ears. His eyebrows shot up, his mouth went slack and he toppled over, out cold. She stepped away and said, “Where’s Julia?”

  “In dreamland on the foyer floor.”

  “That’ll show them. Kimberly, do you have any idea where we can find something to tie these two up in a neat package? They won’t be out forever.”

  I looked at my watch again. “It’s a quarter to three. Griswold and his team should be here soon.” In my mind’s eye I flashed on rolls of duct tape in one of the kitchen cabinets. At the party, Julia had asked me to get something, I don’t remember what, but I clearly remembered opening the wrong cabinet door and gaping at what must have been twenty rolls of gray duct tape.

  “I’ll be back in a minute. I know just the thing.”

  With a few of the rolls in hand and a knife to cut it in lengths, I called to Cami to come to the kitchen and grab a couple of the kitchen chairs. Kate smiled when she saw the tape. “Perfect.”

  Cami pulled in two chairs and we managed to get one limp body up on each one.

  Kate pulled some tape from one roll and cut it with the knife. She wrapped Matt’s legs to the chair with several strips. When his legs were secured from ankles to knees, she continued to wrap more tape around his arms, body, and the back of the chair. His eyelids fluttered and he said, “Look, you have to listen to me. I am…”

  Kate slapped the length of duct tape in her hand across his mouth. He made mmmfff sounds trying to talk, and she hissed, “Can it Matt. Your game is over.”

  Next, Kate and Cami taped the still unconscious Julia in the same way we’d trussed up Matt. She let out light moans, but she was still under. There wasn’t quite enough tape, so I ducked back into the kitchen to get more.

  I was about to go back to the living room when I heard a sound from the open door to the foyer that could best be described as a bellow. “Julia? Matt? What the hell is going on here? Don’t think you’re skipping out on me! I saw what’s in your trunk.”

  Lena? What the hell was she doing here? Then it hit me right between the eyes. Lena had to be the mysterious Ghost and had just arrived for the meeting.

  I shrunk back into the kitchen, and grabbed a knife from the holder on the granite counter
. A big, lethal-looking butcher knife this time.

  Lena’s angry footsteps echoed on the marble floor as she stomped toward the living room. “Double cross me and I’ll squash you two like bugs. I’ll—“

  Her voice cut off. Right about then she must have seen her two trussed up accomplices. The next sound was Kate and Cami screaming. Why would they be screaming? They were able to handle Julia and Matt, so surely working together they could take Lena.”

  Clutching the knife, I inched out into the hall and looked into the living room. Lena’s back was to me. She stood with her feet spread apart, both hands gripping what I could only assume to be a gun. I’d been so quiet, she had no idea I was there, but Kate and Cami could see me. Kate’s eyebrows scrunched and Cami’s eyes got wide as I put my finger to my lips. I guess in the heat of the moment, Lena hadn’t even noticed either of their reactions. I held my breath, but she didn’t turn toward me. Instead she growled, “You idiots keep your hands up. If you make a move, I’ll shoot you. If you think I won’t—just try something,”

  My mind raced. What could I do? She had a gun and I only had a big knife and trembling hands. Fear draped itself around me. Then from nowhere, I got this surge of adrenaline. I’ve heard it said adrenaline accounts for amazing feats—like the ones that make a mouse feel like a lion.

  I crept toward Lena, making myself believe she wouldn’t realize I was there. Was that a stupid move? You bet, and something I would never have done under normal circumstances. But who said this was normal? I’m pretty tall, so I was able to wrap my arm around her from the back and rest the knife along the side of her neck. I kept praying I didn’t penetrate the skin because I can’t stand the sight of blood.

  I managed to summon the baddest ass voice I could and snarled into her ear, “Okay, Shithead, drop the gun or you’re dead. If that gun doesn’t hit the floor right now, you don’t know the pleasure it would give me to slit your throat!

  My knees felt rubbery and I think I was on the brink of hyperventilating big time at that point, but I fought to keep the menace in my voice. I could hardly draw an even breath as the gun dropped from her hands. Then everything moved into fast motion.